Is it really bad to let your baby sleep in bed next to you?

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Sarah - posted on 01/11/2010

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Quoting Jennifer:
 the majority of SIDS cases in young babies are from co-sleeping,




I would love to know where you got that from, SIDS deaths are usually related to bad co-sleeping, I,e, Smoking, drinking, not following carefully researched guidelines, Professor Helen Ball has made some fantastic findings, I have been to one of her conferences a few years ago, what an eye opener.



http://www.dur.ac.uk/sleep.lab/



within minutes its simple to find some stats on bad co sleeping





21% of the SIDS cases had died while using a pillow,compared to 3% of controls.

24% were swaddled, compared to 6% of controls.

60% of the mothers of SIDS cases smoked during pregnancy, compared to 14% of controls.

26% of the SIDS cases were premature, compared to 5% of controls.

28% of the SIDS cases were in fair or poor health for the last sleep, compared to 6% of controls.

29% of the SIDS cases slept on their fronts rather than their back, compared to 10% of controls.



 



Its such a common misconception that co sleeping kills, correct co-sleeping is a wonderful thing with no more risk than having a baby in a crib next to you and less risk than seperating your baby into the other room.



A nice article for you to read...



http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2...



 

Jennifer - posted on 01/10/2010

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letting ur baby sleep with u is your choice. i did and both my kids and my hubby and i ended up fine. it was more for the nightly feedings. i couldn't stay awake when nursing. made our lives easier. by a year they were both sleeping in thir own beds. if you feel good with it, do it. u know whats best for u and ur family.

Ana - posted on 01/11/2010

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there are some schools of thought that believe that bed-sharing is one of the best things that you can do for yourself and your baby! It helps regulate their body temperature and natural biorythems, provides easy access to the boobie and can increase milk supply, prevents infant anxiety and may also decrease sids. Of course, it is irresponsible if anyone is a drug user or is drunk or intoxicated. But i have slep with my daughter in my bed since the day she was born, and i love it!

[deleted account]

A danger if you or partner are in any way restless sleepers or intoxicated. But if you consider the few years that you have to develope a child's sense of security and close bond with your baby I think it is nurturing. In saying that every night would feed a routine and perhaps become a less independent baby..

Danielle - posted on 01/10/2010

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Quoting Heather :

First of all, if you let your child sleep with you he/she will become very comfortable sleeping with you and will not want to go in his/her bed. Then you have the intimacy issues. If the child sleeps with you how will you and your boyfriend/husband have any "alone time"? The child needs to sleep in his/her own crib/bed (starting early on) otherwise you will have a hell of a time getting them out of your bed. Another thing is the safety issue. It is NOT safe to have a small child (especially an infant) sleep with you. Doctors will tell you this from the moment you find out you're pregnant. There is a chance of you rolling over on the baby, the baby pulling the covers over his/her face and not being able to get them off, the baby falling off the bed or getting stuck somewhere, etc. There are so many things that can go wrong. A baby belongs in his/her OWN bed where they are safe. I'm sure there are plenty of mothers who let their babies sleep with them however I am not one of them and am totally against it.


This is hardly true.  I apologize if you have experienced this but my son moved to his own bed at the age of 4 on his own.  Actually, both of my boys are sleeping soundly in their own beds right now and they both slept with me on a regular basis.  Furthermore- for intmacy, we ALWAYS just waited til the little one was asleep and then moved them to their bed and rarely had issues with the child waking up.



Also, there has been study after study after study debunking every single "safety issue".  It LOWERS the risk of SIDs even and I don't know one mother who could actually roll over onto her child unless she was on drugs/drunk/taking medication that put her to sleep.  Every single mother I know sleeps rather lightly and wakes up at the smallest movement of their little one.  The issue with the covers is easily avoided- just don't put the covers on the baby! To be pefectly honest, I have never seen a baby that was capable of pulling a cover onto themselves yet unable to get it off of themselves...if you don't put the covers on the babe, they'll be fine.



Before you claim to be "totally against" anything, you should really research the topic.  Dr. Sears has a lot to say about co-sleeping http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t10220...



http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000...



and he even has a nice list of do's and don'ts



http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070600...



 



There is no doubt in my mind that cosleeping saved my sons life.  He stopped breathing TWICE when he was an infant.  Both times he was in HIS bed by himself- no covers, pillows, or anything that was unsafe.  I moved him to my bed and we haven't had an issue sense.  Also, he has severe eczema and his scratching will actually wake me up so I can soothe him BEFORE he's got himself covered in blood.  It also does not make them dependent.  I have 2 of the most independent children you will ever meet and cosleeping is part of the reason.  Not to mention the other benefits to cosleeping...



Cosleeping is a beautiful thing and reduces a lot of risks to children as long as it's done safely.

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29 Comments

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Danielle - posted on 01/11/2010

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Quoting Jennifer:

Just my opinion, but i feel it is really unsafe. the majority of SIDS cases in young babies are from co-sleeping, Not to mention its a habit you may have to break later, I know way too many mamas with big kids they still cant get to sleep in their own beds.


The majority? Seriously- check out my Dr. Sears site- it's 1.5% is due to cosleeping related problems.... that's FAR from being a majority.

Jodie - posted on 01/11/2010

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i think doing this makes a rod for ur own back cos once they get older they are guna want to sleep with you insted of sleeping in their own room which could cause a right nightmare if they get to 3/4/5 and they are still wetting the bed but are in your bed. Not plesant. Also ive been told it can be quite dangrous, so personally i wouldnt let your baby sleep in the same bed as you they should be in a crib or a cot x

Danielle - posted on 01/11/2010

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i never let my daughter sleep in bed with me asleep also. From day 1 she was in a bassinette or a cot. but my daughter is a fantastic sleeper and has slept through the night when she was only 3 days old ( as in sleeping at lest 7-8hrs straight without waking up).

But there have been a couple of times when she has been as sick as a dog and ive put my bed on the loungeroom floor and let her sleep on it while ive stayed awake. The first reason i do this is due to sids and also because she is a wriggler and would prob fall out of my bed,lol..at least if its on the ground she wont have far to fall. Although she is in a toddler bed and doesnt fall out .

But my daughter gets to active when she is in my bed and thinks its playtime..

Every mother know their child and what they are capable of.



HOWEVER i had a friend whose child died whilst sleeping in the bed with their parents! the father rolled on top of her over those baby protecter things that are in the bed. he never forgave himself and ended up commiting suicide....

Its a hard choice and one i could never do. However each to their own. i would never b able to sleep with a baby in bed with me, and i am a light sleeper! however my daghter is nopw 18months old and i think she mite b ok with sleeping in my bed, but i still wouldnt try it.

Mary - posted on 01/11/2010

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I let my little girl sleep in the bed with me and my partner, it makes her happy and she sleeps 12 hours. She starts off in her own bed then comes in with us around 5am. To be honest its whatever is best for you and your baby. With regards to the whole SIDS thing and people say its more common if they sleep in the bed with you and many other things, my opinion is no one knows the reason for it, we can only speculate. When i was born my mum was told to put me on my tummy to sleep NEVER on my back or side. Then when Millie was born i was told sleep her on her back NEVER on her tummy or side. Then on the ward on her first night she was really unsettled etc and the midwife said to put her on her side...no one knows what to do, its whatever is best for you x

Katrina - posted on 01/11/2010

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Up until now me and my baby ( now 17 months old) sleep together. The bed is pushed in one corner. And I always sleep on the other side. I feel rested knowing that every move she does I can immediately respond to her anytime. My two other children started to sleep in their own bed when they were 3 years old.

Jennifer - posted on 01/11/2010

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Just my opinion, but i feel it is really unsafe. the majority of SIDS cases in young babies are from co-sleeping, Not to mention its a habit you may have to break later, I know way too many mamas with big kids they still cant get to sleep in their own beds.

Julie - posted on 01/11/2010

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my twins sleep in the bed with me but its only me and them my husband sleeps in the other bed i find that way i get more sleep and can check them threw the night and its not so hard when they wake up just to give them their dummy the only thing that they say is not safe is if you have been drinking or our on medication from the doctor which can make you sleepy

Anna - posted on 01/10/2010

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Hello, I didnt let Ali sleep with us until she got sick. She had a bad stuffy nose and my husband and I both felt better being able to hear her breathe. Also, my husband works nights, and I get lonely, so Ali is my go to gal :) It is hard sometimes when she wont sleep in her bed, but its a habit that can be broken. You just have to prepare yourself for some tears lol. If you have a very little one, I suggest one of those things that keeps them from rolling. And keep blankets down away from thier face. My daughter is 7 months old and such a little cuddle bug. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside lol.

Penny - posted on 01/10/2010

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I am really amazed at how many are responding that they let their babies sleep in bed with them. I guess I worry too much. I was curious as to what the American Academy of Pediatrics has to say, so I googled them and this is what I found.



Keep infants in close proximity to, but not in the same bed as, caregivers. Babies who share a bed with an adult are in danger of falling off the bed, or having the adult roll onto them, according to Moon. And adult bedding is just the type of soft stuff that increases SIDS risk. “You put your hand on a baby mattress and you can’t dent it,” she says. Sharing a room, on the other hand, decreases risk of SIDS by up to 20 percent, possibly because it keeps the baby from sleeping too soundly. “If you’re in the same room with the baby, neither one of you sleep quite as deeply,” Moon notes.



As I stated before, I am a worry wart, I worry about suffocating my daughter, I never considered that an adult bed is softer than a crib mattress which increases SIDs risk. Again, just my opinion.

Crystal - posted on 01/10/2010

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no you should never sleep with your baby in bed with you. If you feel the need to be close to them while your sleeping and they are use a bassinet next to your side of the bed then you can sit up in bed and check on them. This also make breast feeding easy. Then it also set it that they sleep alone and never have to worry about how to break them of having to sleep with you later.

Amanda - posted on 01/10/2010

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Its all about personal choice. But beware before you know it he will be five and still in bed with you. Been there done that with my first now I find it much easier to put them in there own bed and let them fall asleep on there own.. And I get me time...

[deleted account]

My husband and I co sleep with both our children. I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old. I make my older child go to sleep in his own bed, but he inevitably ends up with us sometime between 3 and 5 in the am. My new baby sleeps with me during naps and half the time during the night also. My pediatrician really hates that we co sleep and would like us to use a co sleeper (a small bed that you put in your own bed) but it took up too much room and in my opinion is the same as a bassinett only more inconvenient. On the other hand, the ladies at WIC told me that there isn't a problem with it, because it keeps the baby feeling safe and secure and can help with the bonding, as well as to support breastfeeding. A breastfed baby who is hungary might go back to sleep on their own when they are in their bassinett, but in bed they smell you and are more easily roused to eat. So do what feels right to you, and your husband.

Heather - posted on 01/10/2010

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First of all, if you let your child sleep with you he/she will become very comfortable sleeping with you and will not want to go in his/her bed. Then you have the intimacy issues. If the child sleeps with you how will you and your boyfriend/husband have any "alone time"? The child needs to sleep in his/her own crib/bed (starting early on) otherwise you will have a hell of a time getting them out of your bed. Another thing is the safety issue. It is NOT safe to have a small child (especially an infant) sleep with you. Doctors will tell you this from the moment you find out you're pregnant. There is a chance of you rolling over on the baby, the baby pulling the covers over his/her face and not being able to get them off, the baby falling off the bed or getting stuck somewhere, etc. There are so many things that can go wrong. A baby belongs in his/her OWN bed where they are safe. I'm sure there are plenty of mothers who let their babies sleep with them however I am not one of them and am totally against it.

Nikole - posted on 01/10/2010

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I slept with my baby for the first 2 weeks of his life. It was amazing and so special. Like Kristen, I too kept an arm around him while I was lying on my back. There was simply no way I could roll in that direction and our bed is so big that my husband never got near us. He slept GREAT like that, and I didn't have a problem with him wanting to nurse more often due to the fact that my breasts were close. He slept better with me than he did when I put him in his own bed. The only reason I had to put him in his own bed is because it was very difficult for me to sleep without being able to flop in whatever direction I wanted. Also, any little hiccup or wiggle he made woke me up. So although I had to get up more often when he was in his own bed, the sleep I did get was much more restful. Do what's right for you, just be wise and safe.

Kristy - posted on 01/10/2010

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I personally have never let my son ever sleep in my bed, he has always slept without no rocking either, He has learnt to sleep on his own and now he wont sleep in our bed, because i have tried lately because he was struggling to sleep because he was hearing banging next to his window. my son has slept in a cot in our room til 22 months, so really its kinda the same thing. But he cant sleep in our bed at all, However my sister let her son sleep in her bed as a young child and he did not sleep on his own until he was in grade 5, now i think thats wrong. I dont think its totally wrong, as long as you eventually put them in there own bed soon, Because every kid is different and putting them in your bed could make them get use to it too much, and when you want them to go to there bed might be harder later then now. That is my opinion, but like i said every kid is different, and it what makes it easier for you.

Tanya - posted on 01/10/2010

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I sleep with my little girl and slept with her big sister too. It makes feeding if your nursing so much easier. I won't let my husband sleep next to the little one because i am afraid he will mush her.

Kerri - posted on 01/10/2010

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now being a mum with my 3rd child, i have given in to having her sleep in our bed....it's near impossible to get in her crib, that i guess i would rather us have a decent sleep of 6+hrs then dealing with her crying....only problem is the transfer to her crib when she's not feeding as much is going to be a problem that i know i've self enflicked on myself....

Ashlye - posted on 01/10/2010

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I also let my daughter sleep with me, when we frist brought her home, she slept in her basinet, untill she was about a month, then she began sleeping with me, i found it easier to nurse her when she was in my bed. Once she stopped waking up at night we began to ween her off of it, but she still sleeps in my bed for atleast 4 hrs a night, mostly if she wakes up in the moring and it is hard tog et her back to sleep inless i put her in my bed! So NO i think it is fine!

Kristen - posted on 01/10/2010

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I truly believe (and currently am doing) that as long as you are not on medication and dont have a sleeping problem where you really dont wake up, then it is fine. You will wake up with any move, at least I do. To keep her safe from my husband when I sleep with her in the middle I have my arm around her, which doesnt allow her dad to get too close or I feel him against my arm. Believe me with your arm like that the only way you could roll over her at that point is to almost break your arm. I do know there are people out there that cant do it and are all sketched but you will know whether it is for you or not. There are parents out there that throw their babies into a crib in the other room at like age 2 months... thats crazy..!!! But either way its your choice and dont let anyone deter you or make you feel anyway. Good Luck girlie..!!! Just so you know my second night at the hospital a nurse came in and saw I was sleeping with my daughter in the bed and said she did the same thing and there is nothing wrong with doing so.

Penny - posted on 01/10/2010

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I don't let Kyla sleep in our bed, I have how ever tried to get her to sleep starting out in our bed. I have heard such horror stories of parents letting their children sleep in bed with them, only to suffocate them. I am a worry wart so I don't let her sleep in bed with me. It will be that one time that I do and think, oh, that will never happen to me, and it does, regardless of having big bed and thinking I am safe. Better to be safe than REALLY sorry. I could never forgive myself. Just my opinion.

Heidi - posted on 01/10/2010

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I always let my son sleep with me, I had a co sleepers so he was safe. I loved it and so did he...downfall---he is 6 and still wants to sleep in my bed

Savanah - posted on 01/10/2010

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i have slept with my son since the first day i brought him home and now he is 9 months. we both sleep so much better together. i just make sure no blankets are too close to his face.

Bianca - posted on 01/10/2010

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i let my baby sleep next to me for her first 3 weeks and then weened her to sleep in her own bassinet, the only problem i had with sleeping with her was i didnt get a lot of sleep, i read somewhere that with the baby sleeping only about a foot+ away from ur boobies keeps them awake whether or not ur breast feeding, the smell of them wakes them up or something, and it seemed my daughter was awake every hour to eat and i wasnt breast feeding. hope this gives u some help help =]

Amber - posted on 01/10/2010

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Hi :) This is just my view...but no I let both my babies sleep next to me. I was able to rest better! As long as the bed is big enough so that is safe for the baby ...u know all the safe things to watch out for I am sure...but I had no problem with my now 6 year old moving to his big boy bed and my now 3 yr old going to her princess bed. : )

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