Is it safe to try for your 1st baby at the age of 38 or am I too old

[deleted account] ( 44 moms have responded )

I have adopted 3 kids and would like a 4th one, adoption is out of question as it's too sterssful & costly. We decide to try for a baby I'm afarid I'm too old for a 1st pregnancy, as I'm 38 years. Any feedback would be more than welcome, thks.

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Sharon - posted on 12/04/2009

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Denise, you are definitely not too old!! I had my first at 38 and my 2nd at 40. Two beautiful, perfect little girls, conceived naturally and born naturally and drug free. Not everyone is as lucky as me, but the vast majority of older women who are able to conceive are just fine. I see lots of people on here talking about increased risk and yes, technically this is true, but what people don't seem to consider is that it's still a low risk overall, just higher compared to the risks encountered by a younger woman. We are lucky that in this day and age we have plenty of tests that can help to mitigate those risks, and treatments to help with some of the more commonly encountered problems, so as long as you have good health care providers you are more than likely to be absolutely fine.



Good luck, and BTW good on you for adopting 3 kids... I think you're a champion!

Danielle - posted on 01/04/2010

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By the way, I just wanted to add...even if you are considered high risk do not be discouraged! As I mentioned, I am 23 and I was extremely high risk with gestational diabetes and high blood pressure. I have a beautiful, healthy little boy who is 8 months old and absolutely thriving!

Julie - posted on 01/05/2010

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you are never to old m8 i couldn't have children and went through all the ivf and i never caught so go for it i say

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Danielle - posted on 01/04/2010

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Go for it! I think it's wonderful that you have adopted 3 kids and now you want to have your own baby and experience pregnancy. You're not too old, age is just a number...it's about your body more than anything else...I bet you're in fine shape and you can be monitored closely by your doctor throughout your pregnancy. My friend's mom (I'm 23, my friend is 20) just had her 5th at age 42 and she wants another. Her doctor said she may be 42 years old but her body is as healthy as and as fertile as a 25 year old woman. So I say go for it and good for you for being so energetic! Sounds like you have way more energy than I do...hopefully I find some more when I'm 38 ;)

Lequita - posted on 01/04/2010

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if you still have a cycle then you can have a baby. however, there are risks for both you and baby. i think you should talk to your doctor about your options.

Malvina - posted on 01/04/2010

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I had my first and only at 45, and although he was born small (I have asthma and fibroids), he was very healthy -- he's now 13. You need a good OB who is used to dealing with high-risk pregnancies. I had amnio and frequent ultra-sounds, and was on bed-rest for the last 3 weeks because he had stopped growing in the womb. Scary, but he was perfectly okay.

[deleted account]

My friend just had her first baby, I saw him for the first time today, cute little guy. She is 42! I think she had to get the amnio.....but she did everything she was supposed to...and now has a beautiful little boy. Its important to remember that even 21 year olds have complicated pregnancies and births. Although the risk does increase with age, if you physician thinks you are healthy and able...why not?

Julie - posted on 12/11/2009

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not at all i tried for many years to get pregnant un successful unfortunatley if your both in agreement then go for it, i went through fertility treatment and everything so you go for it.

Krista - posted on 12/11/2009

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Go for it. Just be vigilant with your pre-natal care (which is advice I'd give to any age, really.)

Leanne - posted on 12/11/2009

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My cousin just had her 1st baby Nov 23 and she is 38 she did fine and baby is healthy, the doctor just had her come in more regularly than younger pregnant women would. As long as you get good health care from your doctor and you have the go ahead from the doctor to get pregnant ( based on your health) I would do it :)

Denise - posted on 12/11/2009

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Hi Denise, My name is Denise also. I had my first baby at 36 year and my second baby at 40 year. Both are completely nrmal and healthy. I am 46 now and had considered getting pregnant again at 45 year but decided not to. I had completely normal pregnancies with no complications, didn't even have morning sickness. I realize I am probably not the norm but just wanted to let you know that its possible. Good luck with your decision.

Barbara - posted on 12/11/2009

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Go for it!! I have 6. My first was when I was 29, my last when I was 41. I have a sister who was told that she'd never have a child and now is blessed with a little boy. She was 39 at the time. Don't let age be a factor in having children. Listen to your obstritician, entrust the baby and yourself into God's care. When I taught I had twins whose parents were 60 at the time of their births (grant it they were a surprise, and had siblings that could have been their parents). Nothing is too difficult for God. I hope you enjoy your new blessing.

Camillia - posted on 12/11/2009

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I would say to check with your doctor and be sure to weight out the risks. If your doctor thinks it's okay, be sure to stay on top of your testing to make sure there aren't any issues that can be detected early. If you're a praying woman, PRAY! If it's meant to be, it will be!!!!! I had my last child at 34 and besides being a brat, he's fine.

[deleted account]

You're not too old! In the New York Metro area I think it's quite common as most of us spend time financially establishing ourselves before baby comes. I'm 35. I had my first baby 5 months ago. My boss at work is 40 and just had her first baby. As long as you're healthy, you'll be fine!

Julie - posted on 12/10/2009

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Go for it, I would love to have another child. My sister was 38 and had a bad car accident and her son is fine and I think you have more patience at 38 than if you were in your late 20's or early 30'3

Mary - posted on 12/07/2009

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Well, I had my 1st baby at 38, so I certainly don't think you're too old. I had a completely uncomplicated pregnancy, no additional testing (only 2 scans...one at 8 weeks to confirm, and the anatomy screen at 19 weeks). I worked, full time nights, as an L&D RN up until 2 nights before she was born. My labor was less than 9 hrs, and I pushed her out in less than 10 minutes. While I can't promise you my scenariao, it should certainly give you hope that it is more than possible.

Edel - posted on 12/07/2009

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My sister is going through IVF and she is 41 she has no children but her doctor said once the person is healty there is no reason to keep trying. I'm pregnant at the moment on my second child i'm 33. I think there could be problems at any age it just depend on the person. As a working mom with 1 child i find this time it's a lot harder on my body.

Kylie - posted on 12/05/2009

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I am the mother of 4 children and had my last child at the age of 36 (children's ages at time of birth of 4th child 18,15,7). Not really knowing the entire circumstance of your wanting to have a child. These are some of the things that I would consider. What are the ages of your other children. What other activities are they involved in that require you to take them too! Are you prepared for how tired you are going to be not just during pregancy but also after pregnancy. How supportive is your husband (really) with the day to day running of things? What will you do and how will you and your family cope if there is something wrong with the baby not just physically by intellectually! Consider that as an older mother you increase your risk of postnatal depression! Are you going to spend most of your pregnancy worrying if everything is ok (this puts a lot of stress on yourself and the baby). This may seem a little negative but take it from someone who has been through this experience. Family can say that they are supportive at this point as it is something that sounds like fun, but when the time comes it does not always turn out the way you would necessarily like. Still good luck with your decision.

Connie - posted on 12/04/2009

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I am pregnant right now at the age of 37 and this pregnancy feels no different then when I was 29. As long as you are in good physical condition you can do just about anything. OB/GYN's will suggest many tests but don't feel compelled to have them all done. Good luck with your decision.

[deleted account]

Thks to all the wonderful comments you filled me with courage & with good advice I'll certainly go and talk to my doctor, also my husband & kids give me full support so we'll see what happens & let you know hehe thks again to everyone

Charlie - posted on 12/04/2009

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Honey, age is nothing but a state of mind. Yes, the pregnancy will take a lot out of you but you have another 7 years before you can start to worry. So go for it

Lesley-Anne - posted on 12/04/2009

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My best friend is just having her first baby after trying for 3 years at 37, so I don't see any reason why you can't go for it, unless your doc says otherwise. Good luck with you decision.

Angie - posted on 12/04/2009

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I think all is in god´hands ,but we have to be responsable for our disitions,the documents saids that having the first baby after 35 ,the chance of have a malformation baby is big,but if you take the cautions it made works.Any way life is a risk,just pride for that.........I hope my english wasn´t to bad

[deleted account]

My mom was 42 when she had my little sister, who was and still is perfectly healthy. Just make sure you get good prenatal care.

Jamila - posted on 12/03/2009

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I first commend you for adopting your 3 children. I wish as some point I would be able to do the same. I am sure that it can be a little scary trying to have a baby at 38. But I have heard of many woman having children in their 40's and have had good pregnancies, and have been happy about their decisions to have children later in life. I had my children in my early 20's and made it a personal decision not to have children in my 30's, but have not ruled out adopting an older child later. I wish you luck.

Tara - posted on 12/03/2009

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I had my first daughter at 36, 2nd daughter at 37 (they are 18 months apart) - you would be considered a high-risk pregnancy, but as long as you are comfortable with extra monitoring during your pregnancy and are aware of the risks (higher risk of certain birth defects, etc) I don't see why you couldn't try to have a child.

Katherine - posted on 12/03/2009

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Well your risks of CP, and other birth defects are higher BUT more and more woman are having children in their mid to late 30's. Technology is better, I say why not? If you want a child you don't want to pass up the chance!!!

Sue - posted on 12/03/2009

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I was thirty when I had my first and 38 when I had my third. My younger sister was 40 when she had her first and 42 with second. I don't think either of us was too old then but when they became teenagers I felt too old for all of the histrionics that accompany teen years.

Sharon - posted on 12/03/2009

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I was 35 as long as you are a healthy women I think you will be fine I had no problems went full term Baby was and is just fine 14 now good luck

Renee - posted on 12/03/2009

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Other than your age I agree with Margaret about making sure the other kids are up for this. You see they were "chosen" by being adopted and if they feel like you are now having a biological baby how are they TRULY going to feel about. i don't even think you will know how you will feel much less children. I really applaud you for the adoption thing you are to commended for that. I would carefully consider the biological baby seriously because to talk about it is one thing - visions of a cute cuddly baby and all the adopted children happy and smling - the reality might be diappointment that you are going to be up at night, tired and anxious ,etc So many things go with a newborn baby. I would speak to a counselor about how you're going to handle this transition. People do feel differently about biological children no matter how close they feel to their adopted children. I'm not trying to dissuade you just keep in mind that what you envision might not be the reality that you are faced with. Also just curious you ddin't mention your spouse, how does he feel about it - there are questions of health, I think you would be considered high risk because of your age and you haven't had a proven pregnancy before now so they will probably take that into consideration. I hate to say this but older mothers do tend to have a higher chance for twins what if that happens? At this age we are releasing eggs faster and sometimes it does happen - it has happened to a few older moms I know and without fertility treatment too. I do wish you all the best with your decision so many things to think about. I actually had two biological children and then wanted to adopt but money and then we found out my son had autism made us not go forward with adoption. Take care!

Margaret - posted on 12/03/2009

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I can give you the outlook of a child of the mother of 36 when she had me. It was a usually when under the age of 10 it was mummy was my life but as i grew we became two completely different people. When I was a teenager we always fought and then I had my first child at 20 and my second 22 and my third at 25 and that is when I needed her the most but unfortunately she passed away before I had my third. So i can only tell you it is your choice and if you and your spouse feel the same everything will work out for the best. But please consider the other children in the family. There is 9 years between me and my brother and 18 years between my first brother. Make sure they are secure with your decision

Catherine - posted on 12/03/2009

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I have a friend who had her first at 37 and her second at 40. Both babies are fine! Eat healthy, stay away from vaccines (you don't want your system filled w/mercury and other toxins -- just try getting an ingredients list from your dr if he wants to vaccinate you :)
BTW,I had my first at 32 and second at 35 - and they are both fine. One is now 19 and in college and the other is 16 and in high school. I'm SO glad they both exist!!

Sharyn - posted on 12/03/2009

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my cousin had her first at 38 and it all went well, i had mine at 36 and it all went well too .. age is no barrier i think, as long as you are healthy and you have your monthlies as normal ....

Krista - posted on 12/03/2009

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Nothing says you can't have a baby at 38. You just have to more closely monitor it. Also, keep in mind that the chance of having twins increases past the age of 35. Many women these days are waiting. Nothing wrong with it.

Lani Kwon - posted on 12/03/2009

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I got pregnant at 39 and had my first child at 40. He's healthy and strong. There is an increased risk, but I think many of the old statistics are outdated and don't take into account the healthier lifestyles of older women these days.

Amy - posted on 12/03/2009

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I don't think your too old! If your able to handle a baby then I don't see why you shouldn't. How old is your husband/the father of the baby? I think the one thing you need to do is see your dr and talk about any risks that could happen based off of your age and your husbands age. Once EITHER the father or mother turn 40 there are greater risks of some genetic deseases, Also, greater chance of multiples.

As long as you are healthy, and stay in tune with your body and dr and make sure your doing everything you can for a safe pregnancy I don't see why you can't have a baby at 38.

BUT I'm not a dr, so take my advise lightly.

Helen - posted on 12/03/2009

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I had my first at 36 and would say that as long as you're fit and healthy then go for it!
Good luck

Mary - posted on 12/03/2009

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I had my first @ 38 he will is 14 months old now. There is more risk involved and there are days when I get up off the floor playing that I might of been to old for it. But honestly it is the best thing I have done in my life. Talk with your doctor and weigh out the pros and cons. But if it is something you really want to do this time in your life I say go for it 2.

Alison - posted on 12/03/2009

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You could probably get some kind of risk evaluation. I strongly urge you to give it a fair try. Baring children is one of the greatest gifts we have as women. If this is something you desire, you should go after it.

Ultimately, you are the one who will have to deal with the consequences, if you are up to it, go for it! 38 really isn't that old.

Michele - posted on 12/03/2009

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You will most likely be considered a high risk pregnancy, and your OB will probably suggest you get a amniocentesis once you are pregnant and far enough along. That being said as long as your healthy and can conceive there is absolutely no reason that you shouldn't go for it! I see plenty of moms coming in at your age and beyond, almost everyday! We are just waiting a little longer to have kids nowadays, trying to get everything in order.

Good luck!!!
Michele Wright RN/BSN

Betsy - posted on 12/03/2009

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I have lots of friends who didn't start their families until this age. One just had her first at 41. Another had her first at 38 and then twins at 40. See your dr and OB/GYN, get a full physical, and they will tell you if you are in good physical shape for a pregnancy and any risks they would be concerned about you having a baby now. Then decide from there.

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