is it selfish to want a c-section

Lanette - posted on 03/23/2010

As the rest have said no its not selfish. My first birth was horrific and it was vaginal. I crawled for months because I could not even walk. My daughter was expected to be 12lbs. I had her C-Section and the recovery was so much easier than "HAVING A C SECTION THRU THE VAGINA" as I called my first birth. (No offense please to my lingo!) I got to hold my daughter as soon as she came out and we had the bond, the breast feeding etc. Think of the adoptive parents, they bond with their children and they dont even carry them or deliver them. U have no worries.

Kathy - posted on 03/23/2010

I don't think it is selfish to want a c-section. Don't worry about bonding with your baby. I ended up having a c-section with my first pregnacy. I was so exhausted that I felt the tugging and misintrepreted that into pain. I was given more drugs and slept through the whole thing. My first visions of my daughter are still hazy. LOL I got a wonderful 2 hr nap afterwards. When I was wheeled back to my roon, I have never been so excited. I was handed this little,wrapped, beautiful child. Bond-instantly. She never left my bed unless I was out of it. Was my birth what they show in the movies or even on tv? No but it is something that was so special and still so perfect because it was mine. I always have always beleived that a woman should trust herself when it came to birthing her child. If you trust that a c-section is the best thing for you and your child, then that is just what you should do.

Mary - posted on 03/23/2010

No, it's not necessarily selfish, but there are a few things to consider before making that choice for any future pregnancies.

Typically, an elective C/S is scheduled at 39 weeks...that's three weeks before you delivered your 1st baby. If your cervix is favorable, would you consider being induced at this time, especially if they estimate this baby is not over 10lbs? You already know that your pelvis can accommodate a baby of this size...and your body does not have to work as hard the second time around (normally). Baby number one paved the way, so to speak. Labor, and pushing, are not typically as long or hard with 2nd babies.

You don't mention why your first child was so large...is it just genetics, or did you have poorly controlled gestational diabetes? If so,a stricter diet, and tighter control of your sugars can go a long way towards keeping the baby's weight down. And, delivering prior to 42 weeks would help as well.

You also don't mention a whole lot of details about that first delivery...was it just that the induction took a while, and was exhausting, or were there some other complications? I have to say, a bad 4th degree tear, or a shoulder dystocia would defintely warrant considering an elective section the next time around for me!

This really is something you should discuss at length with your OB before making a final decision. There are a multitude of factors that can influence whether another vaginal delivery would be as difficult as your first, as well as things that can be done to give you a shot at delivering earlier, with a smaller baby. There are no guarantees, of course, but it is worth exporing all of your options before committng yourself to major abdominal surgery.

As for the whole bonding business...that really is variable, dependent upon the individual. I've certainly seen woman with uncomplicated vaginal deliveries not bond well with their infants, and mother's with horribly complicated labors who end up with a C/Section bond instantly the moment that child is placed in their arms. I do not think that the mode of delivery is a defining factor in how you bond with your child, nor is it all that influential over the relationship you develop over the child's lifetime.

Nicki - posted on 03/23/2010

I have had 3 kids with the first and last by c-section. The first was an emergency surgery because she was 9lbs which for me was too big, the second was a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and the last was a planned c-section because she was also over 9lbs and i knew that since my body couldn't handle it the first time, it wouldn't handle it this time. The bond with my c-sections were just as strong as without and as for being selfish, if having your stomach cut open and all of your insides taken out then put back in, and going through a 6-8 week recovery is your idea of selfish, well then yes. My point is, it is never selfish to want to bring your baby into this world in whatever way is best for both you and him/her. People have the misconception that c-section is the "easy" way out, but the truth is, it is MAJOR abdominal surgery-just because you are awake, doesn't make it any less so, and in my opinion-after going through both ways, a much harder delivery/recovery. You need to do what is best for YOU and YOUR baby-there is never anything selfish about bringing a happy, healthy baby into this world.

HOLLY - posted on 03/23/2010

Hi Kate
i have 3 girls, the 1st 2 were born naturally with no pain relief and my youngest who is 14 months old was a c section as she was breech and the bond is just as strong it has made no different.
I can relate to you on the large baby front my 6 year old was born at 42 weeks and weighed 13lb 4oz, but although the teory is they get bigger themore you have my youngest weighed only 9lb 4oz.
There is no shame in having a c section, and i found the recovery no harder than after natural child birth.
Good luck anyway what ever you decide x

Ashley=) - posted on 03/23/2010

Just to note my c-section was on my second ,i had a natural birth first and her shoulders got slightly took and took a while to get her body out..her head was out on the third push any bigger her body and i wouldnt of been able i don't know what would of happened.The were very concerned on my second preg but looking back i would of had no problem delivering my second myself she was so small (body size)so i would of done just fine if all had gone to plan.I recovered fantastic from my c-section compared from my natural delivery but i guess were all different and your experience will be also.

Kim - posted on 03/22/2010

It is not selfish. My first was 9lbs 8 oz and it was a very traumatic birth. I had over 100 stitches. My daughter was is neonatal for 5 days. It took me over 6 mths to recover. I was scared when I was pregnant the 2nd time and book a c-section. My bond with my second one is just as strong as it is with my 1st. You want you and the baby to be safe. It's really up to your doctor. You actually get "interviewed" by your doctor and an OB before the decision is made. I had no problems with my c-section. I was walking that night.

Carla - posted on 03/22/2010

I don't think it is selfish but recovery is pretty full on and remember how old is your first.. you are limited how much you can lift and things you can do... and recovery is slow.. which ever way you go you baby is a part of you and i really don't think the way they come into this world changes the bond... Good Luck

Bridgette - posted on 03/22/2010

Yes you have the same bond. Your bond with your child started the minute you got pregnant. Having 4 pregnanices, I had 2 natural and 2 c-sections. It will be there. Congrads!!

Diana - posted on 03/22/2010

I dunno guys, my first was a section, and the second was natural.

1. I am sure your body CAN do it again - it did it once already right?

2. A Csection recovery is more difficult

3. A Csection comes with risks, and requires pain meds after (which go into the milk)

4. I had a much more immediate bond with my VBAC baby - it took me some time to achieve that same level with my Csection baby.


However, everybody's experience is different - that goes without saying. Either way, as long as it's a safe delivery for both of you it will be worth it. Perhaps talk to your doctor about the different risks associated with each?

Ashley=) - posted on 03/22/2010

Yes you have a bond no matter how we deliver them into the world and a planned c-section is taken slowly and both parents are allowed to bond just like with a natural birth.

I was rush at 4 in the morning to have a c-section after four days of in-out labour that caused complications and i was on my own my partner missed the birth.I had the best doctors and midwife to help me through it.The took great care of her it was so quite and peaceful and i got to hold her for a while all wrapped up. my partner made it then and cared for her until we were all reunited again.The bond was there before she was even born and when i got to cuddle and kiss her again for as long as i wanted,she was my little girl and i loved her and the bond was no different than it was with my first little girl..i don't feel you are selfish it s a decision 100% up to you and how you feel truly about it.

Leanne - posted on 03/22/2010

I have 3 kids, 2 born c-section and 1 born naturally. There is no difference in the connection with them. The connection beginds when your pregnant not with how they leave you. I will tell you thou being as i have done both, natural is the best way to go. A:) no scarring B:) not even close in the pain department C:) faster recovery D:) less risk of infection E:) I personally found it MUCH harder to lose the baby weight ( having your muscles cut makes it hard to work out) If you can go natural you should, if it is a pain issue get the epideral. Hope this helps :)

Cindy - posted on 03/21/2010

i dont think you're being selfish at all. i had a c-section with my son. (he is 6 now) From the second I saw his face we were bonded! He is the LOVE OF MY LIFE (along with my husband :) ) I will tell you that the recovery SUCKS ! It hurts to do just about everything. It hurts to laugh, cry, yawn,walk,stretch,get up, sit down i mean the pain is AWFUL.I've never had a "traditional birth" so I cant tell you which hurts the most, but you dont have a thing to worry about when it comes to bonding. You will be just fine. C-sections are horrible , but just the recovery part, and I will tell you that I didnt get to see my son until nearly 5 hours after I delivered him. I dont know if its the same with everyone, but that was my experience. Hope this helps!!

Amanda - posted on 03/18/2010

I don't think it's selfish, my first was 10lb 8oz and i had a c-section with him due to size, i don't feel selfish :) personally, having a c-section did not affect the bond at all! we weren't seperated for hours or anything like that, recovery (as much as i hated it) really wasn't all that bad and within that first week i was feeling pretty good. ultimately you have to make the right decision for you and baby, talk to your Dr. about risks giving birth naturally to a large baby v. the risks associated with c-section.

Sarah - posted on 03/18/2010

I don't think it's selfish.

The main thing is that baby arrives safely.

I would talk to your doctor about all your options before you make a decision. Having a C-section is major abdominal surgery, and shouldn't be rushed into.



I had an emergency C-section with my youngest. It was actually fine for me, very fast recovery! I bonded just as well with my youngest as with my eldest who was born vaginally.

As i said, safe arrival for you and baby is all that matters! Good luck!! :)