is it seperation anxiety or just me??

Jessica - posted on 12/29/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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i have a 41/2 mth old and she is still sleeping in our room. we have her crib set up in the corner. i breastfeed and at night i feed her lying down because i have fast milk ejection so i have to lay down. its more convenient to put her in our bed feed her and then move her back to the crib. everyone is saying that its all in my head but every time i think about moving her to her room (right across the hall) i get emotional and change the subject. so i need to no is it separation anxiety or just me. ????? my husband doesn't have a problem with her sleeping in our room, but everyone else seems to have a problem. i guess what i'm asking is how do i put her in her room and not freak out about it.??

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It's totally up to you guys what you do! Don't worry about what other people think...it's not their child! Our son slept in bed with us for a good part of his newborn stage...almost all the way up until he went to his crib in his room (right next to ours) when he was about 3 months. I was always so cautious to bring it up because I know "co-sleeping" is a controversial topic, but I finally just decided that I didn't care what anyone else had to say...that's what worked for us. There's no rush to move her...do what works for you and everything will be fine!! :)

Lissa - posted on 12/29/2010

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If you and your husband are happy it's not a problem, all three of mine slept in a cot in our bedroom until they were one. I had a sister die of cot death before I was born and felt more secure having them with me until they were older. It is personal choice for your family, whoever "everyone" is, tell them it's none of their business. It seems although you are asking how to put her in her own room, you don't actually want to do it, so don't.

Tracy - posted on 12/29/2010

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"Everyone else seems to have a problem"? Um I'm sorry, but are these people sharing your bedroom too? Oh they aren't? Well then they don't get a say in your sleeping arrangements. Period. End of story. And thank you very much for butting out of my bedroom, good bye! :)

Laura - posted on 12/29/2010

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Jessica, the sleeping arrangements are entirely up to you! If your current situation works (forget the emotional response for the moment), then why worry about changing what doesn't appear to be broken? "Everyone else" doesn't live with you or your family and have no real understanding of your family dynamics. You are not accountable to other's perceptions or opinions in this particular matter. You can politely, but firmly, tell others that your current sleeping arrangements work well for you and that there is nothing "wrong" with them. It is a legitimate, often-used sleeping option! You can even be so bold as to say "none of your business!" on this.

Back to the emotional response that you have: Separation anxiety usually refers to the developmental stage most babies go through as they learn about their own existence in relation to others. That is not to say that parents can't feel anxious, even fearful, when their baby is out of sight, just that it is not typically called "separation anxiety". You seem to become anxious when thinking of putting her in another room--why do you think this is? What is triggering your fears/anxiety? Being a "bad or neglectful mom" is absolutely not a legitimate reason for those emotions, IMO! So put your mind at ease about that one, at least. Only you can figure out exactly why you are having these emotional responses because these emotions could have a negative impact as your child grows. Being over-protective is not healthy for you or your child! Tackle the emotions now while the impact of them are minimal. And don't be afraid of seeing a counselor for help with this if you need to! Hope this helps and good luck!

Amy - posted on 12/29/2010

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When you're ready you can move her, if you're not ready then what is the rush to move her. My son who is now 4 was in our room for the first year, my daughter was in our room 3 months before we moved her.
If you really want to move her get a baby monitor so you can hear her when she wakes, but as a mom you can be on the other side of the house and you'll be able to hear your LO without a monitor. Just check in on her before she goes to bed for peace of mind, but emotionally if you aren't ready you're not going to get any sleep.

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