Is it wrong not leting your kids be around some of your family because you don't like what they do?

Leeza - posted on 08/04/2009 ( 214 moms have responded )

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I have family members that does things that I don't like or care to be around. I get told by people that I am in the wrong from keeping my kids from them but I feel like my kids don't need to be around that or see what they are doing. I just really dont know what to really do know what to think about it.

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Cami - posted on 08/04/2009

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The best way I have found to deal with this problem is to invite that particular family member or members over to your house. That way they have to go by your rules and if they don't then they can leave.

Heather - posted on 08/22/2009

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I haven't read all the posts so I may be reiterating what someone else already said, but I think what it comes down to is that you can't choose your family. We can choose our friends and wouldn't subject our kids to inappropriate friends right? So just because someone is related to you doesn't make them a good person, and doesn't give them any rights to see your children. Unless the person happens to be their father and a court order says he has to see them, it's your call. If these people really loved and respected you and your children they would modify their behavior when you are around so that you would feel comfortable having your kids around them. Tell nosey busybody type people who try to tell you what to do to *&%#$@ off and mind their own business, chances are the people telling you what to do don't even have any kids of their own...what do they know about what's best for your kids? Good Luck!!!

Lisa - posted on 08/19/2009

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Absolutely not! If ANYONE was going to be a threat to my child in ANY way physically, emotionally, or mentally they would not be around my child, family or not! It's an emotional decision to make, I've had to do it myself. If it's against your morals and/or value's you have every right to make that decision!

Christi - posted on 03/23/2011

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I have an alcoholic mom and brother and drug addicted sister who have all been very nice to my kids but they put them in harms way. They drive drunk and I've told my kids not to ever get in another vehicle when any of them are driving, but that didn't work. I've gone and gotten my kids when they were supposed to spend the night w/my mom and she was too drunk to know what was what, so I went and got them and didnt' let them spend the night. I've told my mom that she cannot drink around my kids but she refused to listen. Finally, after years of drunken phone calls and all the crap that goes with that, I stopped having a relationship w/my mom as of Jan. 2011. My kids love her and wish they could spend time w/her but they don't want to be around her when she is drinking, which is always. Then my brother is living w/my mom and the two of them together are a nightmare. I tried allowing my kids to have a relationship with them but they didn't think enough of them to stay sober to have a relationship. I told them all that I had to remove myself from their lives and now I do not speak to my mother, brother or sister. What is sad is that my dad who is now 82, has to live in that mess and because of the two drunks, I cannot have a relationship w/him. I miss him very much and wish he would come live w/me and my kids but when I asked him last year, he said he just couldn't leave my mom. I had to do what was best for me and my kids and we cannot have peace in our lives with my mother being a part of our lives. We all miss her, but I cannot make one phone call or else she will start ringing my phone off the hook over and over and over for days. She just doesn't get it. They don't get it and they never will as long as they stay intoxicated. That is a very hard thing to disown your entire family. I just hope that some day she will come to her senses and get sober and mental health help so that she can be a part of our lives again, but for now she refuses. I feel your pain, honestly. Best of luck and do what is best for you and your kids.

[deleted account]

No it is not wrong. You have to think about what you want your child exposed to. If the family member has a problem with that, let them know they should not be doing the things that they do.

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[deleted account]

I have family who smoke - pot and tobacco - and swear in front of my daughter, but she and I have talked about this in depth and I have told her that if she is uncomfortable in any way she need only say so and we would leave. We don't see them often and if there is smoking we leave the room and find other things to do. I think that, in being exposed to this behaviour, she has learned to be kinder and more tolerant of others. She knows that smoking is a health hazard and that pot is illegal, but she also knows that these people are good people and love her and are just a bit different than we are. When they swear she always gets a little smile on her face the way an adult might if a child swears, and she looks at me and grins as if to say 'Isn't that silly, Mom?' I think hiding other lifestyles and choices from them only makes them more curious and determined to involve themselves in that which you would disapprove.

Julie - posted on 08/25/2009

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I have to agree with almost everyone that as a mother we do have to make some hard decisions about what is best for our kids. But it isn't always the people that do illegal activities or smoke or drink too much. I allowed my oldest to be too indulged by my mother, my mother-in-law, and my sister-in-law and I have been paying the price ever since! She doesn't take responsibility for anything and continues to live in our home at the age of 23. She does at least work but she has no respect for my husband, me, her brother, or her little sister. We adopted her little sister from the foster care system and she commented that she was really cutting into her inheritence! She is one of the most selfish and lazy people I know! If I didn't love her and worry about her safety I would kick her out into the real world. But that is one of those hard decisions that I haven't been able to make as a parent!

Teresa - posted on 08/25/2009

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Quoting Amie:

I think it depends on why. Obviously there are certain instances (drugs/alcoholism/abuse) that you should keep your kids away from. But if it is just a matter of personal conflict between you and family members then I don't think you should keep them away. I have tons of family I don't necessarily like but my kids are still allowed to see. Just because I don't care for them doesn't mean my kids shouldn't know them.


I totally agree with Amie.Personal conflict should never be a good enough reason to not allow the children a chance to know their relatives.If the person does unacceptable things in front of the child,then that is an entirely different story.

Naisha - posted on 08/25/2009

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For me I have some family members that does things that some people my not like are care about. No matter how much you try to keep them away it will not matter because they will find out what you are keeping from them as they get older then that is going to be had to fix. Do not keep them away from family that is not good them. Love your family for who they are not what you want them to be.

Collett - posted on 08/24/2009

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i think that you are the only person able to protect your children and that its down to you to do just that even if it mean cutting people out of their lives in order to protect them. You could always try and arrange for them to see the family members in a controlled situation so that no harm can be done...

[deleted account]

no they are your kids you need to do what is best or even what you think is best and you do not have to explain yourself if you do not want to

Valentina - posted on 08/21/2009

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No, absolutely not! You have to do what you need to do to keep your baby safe and protected. That is being a good mom. =)

Hope - posted on 08/21/2009

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Whoever these "people" are that are telling you this either don't have kids of their are, or have some twisted sense of :turn the other cheek" So when their kids end up influenced badly and they wonder why... well at least you'll have better behaved and more stable kids instead. ;)



My family, sad to say, are mostly pot-smoking hippies, or have various issues in regards to smoking and drinking, or being hyped up on prescription drugs. Any time I go to visit with my kids I keep a stern eye on the family's behavior. If I see any sign of illicit materials, the kids are removed from the area into another area of the house. I have to do this because the good portions of my family cannot be separated from the not so good. SO I have to be more on alert. It's a bit stressful, but they love seeing their grandma and she them. It's worth it to keep a "weather eye" on family bad practices just so the kids get their time with the good influences.



With the ones I feel I can talk to, I've put my foot down with them and told them I don't want my kids "in the know". That when they get older I'll talk to them myself. They at least understand and respect that.



So do what is good and healthy for your kids' growth and development. Don't let anyone make you think you are a bad person. If these people are your family. Tell them flat out that if they want access to your kids they need to shape up or keep their recreations to themselves. Period! If they are THAT bad, remind them that constant stress from them can earn them a restraining order. ;)

Sarah - posted on 08/20/2009

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Not wrong. People are too PC these days. Whatever happened to the hush... hush.... don't talk to Uncle Jimmy and avoiding people on purpose. What, because Uncle Jimmy is blood related gives the creep a pass? If someone gives you any indication that they would be a negative influence or if they give you that "Creepy Guy" feeling when you are around- don't think you have to give "blood relatives" a pass. Blood may be thicker than water but water is healthier to be around sometimes. Even if it's not creepy but that type of person that NOBODY wants to be around becuase they are always so negative they drain the enregy out of the room, are rude to anyone who approaches them and it's always somebody else's fault that they haven't "struck it big"-- keep your distance personally. It just so happens people I avoid personally usually don't get a visit from my kids either-- when they are 18 they can drive themselves to see them if it's that important to build a relationship.

[deleted account]

110% agree with you Leeza! I have a mother that drinks heavy and says and does stupid things all the time...I don't want to give them the impression for one that their grandparent is a "bad person" or "a drunk", I want them to think they came from good people...and if they see otherwise...then it could distroy their whole view on that person. Seondly, they are influenced by everyone around them...as long as they are not old enough to make educated choices...you are responsible for whom they associate with..including their friends...worked for us...and we have three teens and one toddler=) Good Luck...btw, I don't close these peole out of my life or theirs, I do send pics and I do attend get togethers but we don't stay in a private setting where things like drinking and swearing are going to happen...if it does...we simply slip away=)

Sarah - posted on 08/19/2009

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If you deem the behavior to be detrimental in any way, then why keep your child around that person/those people. Ultimately, it's your call.

Sherrie - posted on 08/19/2009

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Just do your best to not allow them alone around these people that are bad for your children. And the best thing you can do is pray for the people that aren't a good example for your children, and also to pray over your children for protection from anything negative that could happen around these people. These are your children. God gave them to you to take care of and protect and that instinct is His way of telling you something is definitely wrong. Don't feel guilty. It's for their best interest that you are doing it. Just be kind to the ones that you don't want them around, but, stand your ground.

HELEN - posted on 08/19/2009

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I don't think it is wrong I have family like that too. it is our job as parents to teach our child what we think is the best for them. our children come before anyone esle I am sorry if it hurts them but adults can control thier behavior children follow exmaple

Katrina - posted on 08/19/2009

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I guess I look at it this way, if you don't care to be around it...then why would you put your child around it? You have to do what you feel is best for your children, no matter what anyone else says about it. When it comes to my kids, I don't take into consideration to many opinions as far as family because they always seem to think they know better than you whats best for your child. In the end, you're the one who gave birth to and are responsible for that child. So you have to go with your instincts, they'll never stear you wrong and a lot of times family will.

Topaz - posted on 08/19/2009

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i have an issue with some family members on my husbands side.. i hate going over there and when we "have" to i a, always careful at who holds her and when she is hungry I feed her- no one else, not even daddy.. my husband understands and I am thankful for that. My excuse is "my daughter no longer latches on to me, so this is how we bond while feeding" of course i get eye rolls and what not, but I have this uncomfortable feeling when i am around those people and i just listen to what my body/feelings are telling me...

Christy - posted on 08/19/2009

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I feel the same way. One of my kids grandparents does things that I do not feel my children need to see, so I do not like for my kids to be around him. It is a hard decision, I usually end up hurting someone in the family. But my mother gave me good advice...do what you think is best and go by what your "gut" tells you. Moms, know best. We have a "gut instinct" that noone else has. I use this a lot.

Emma - posted on 08/18/2009

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if these family members want to spend time with your kids, but are acting in a way that you dont want your kids to see, then they need to shape up! there was a time when i did not act in a way that my family approved of and they had every right to keep the kids away, i had to put in the effort to be able to see them so i did and everything is great now!!! stick to your guns, they are your kids and you need to do what you think is best for their upbringing!!

Nicole - posted on 08/18/2009

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You have to do what you have to to protect your child. There are certain people in my family who are not allowed to be alone with my daughter or to see my daughter in certain places for her saftey. You have to stick to your feelings to keep your kids safe, no matter what.

Holly - posted on 08/18/2009

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NO! I learned a long time ago that you are not obligated to family members in any way! You are responsible and will answer to God for how you raise your children and what you allow them to be influenced by. Stick to what you believe! Try to avoid talking badly about those family members around your kids, as they are easily swayed by what you think. Someday they will make up their own minds about it. In the meantime, you are the parent. You don't need to apologize or feel guilty for that!! (P.S. God can change anyone - keep praying for Him to change those family members!)

Karrington - posted on 08/18/2009

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I don't think you are wrong. I have the same feelings about parts of my family and my son is only six months old. They smoke in the house which is fine but he already has minor breathing problems (no way I am risking making them worse). They taught their own child to curse at others and they made it a game. Not to mention they have no discipline and the adults talk about inappropriate things with no mind to who is around! I completely agree with your choice!

[deleted account]

Quoting clara:

you know best, what is good for ur children. don't listen to what other people say : but if u think that they should see them ,invite them and put ur terms :no smoke no drink .......


Agree on terms given.

Karen - posted on 08/18/2009

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you do want you think is right for you and your family were all different,we have different morals,if its because there scruffy or swear your kids would learn this is a different way and will listen to you that its uncool and sometimes seeing someone worse off is a good thing shows kids we all live different,l dont judge people through my kids as long as its safe,they mix better an understand as they get older,ask yourself whot would the kids gain by them or lose out on if you stayed away.

[deleted account]

Do what you feel is for their best interest ."Listen your heart." What others say should not matter. You do what is Positive and not have kids no where near the Neg. People and Environment. As a Parent and grandmother,I always said to my loved ones stay away from the Neg. People ( including the neg. environment). Children should be around Positive People and Environment. If it's Family,just make sure they do not do anything neg. Speak your mind let them know you will not tolerate any neg. behaviors in the present of your children , Or you children will not be around them.If they think your mean,tell them it's called protecting them @ keeping them safe. Hope this helps.

Sam - posted on 08/17/2009

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Quoting Nicole:

Depends on what you are talking about, I have a beautiful step-daughter who was nine at the time of my daughters birth, my mother in law said horrible things my whole pregnancy about how she wouldn't love the new baby because Britt was her only granddaughter. I thought maybe she was just having a hard time adjusting but after the baby came the problems got worse and she would actually bend down to the baby in her car seat and say "you'll never be my Britt, you might think your a princess (the baby had a princess shirt on) but my Britt will always be the Queen." That disturbed me and esp because she physically bent over my 6 month old baby and looked her dead in the face! I was scared I 've never been around anything like that so... I just kept the baby away anytime my husband visited her, I would go to my families after a year she got the hint and no longer says things, but I;m still not around her that much, I think she has an undiagnosed mental illness like bi-polar or something, your childs best interests matter the most and if adults have problems, or cannot be a good role model for your child I feel as if your teaching them it is okay to act, do ,or say wrong and hurtful things!

I know its a hard choice but I hope I could help!



 



I colud not agree more ... As much as i support protecting your children, we can not let our own likes & dislikes overide sensible thought! By all means protect from harm but ifit is just a personal thing, think twice. Good luck. xxx





 

Clara - posted on 08/17/2009

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you know best, what is good for ur children. don't listen to what other people say : but if u think that they should see them ,invite them and put ur terms :no smoke no drink .......

Catherine - posted on 08/17/2009

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Quoting Leeza:

Is it wrong not leting your kids be around some of your family because you don't like what they do?

I have family members that does things that I don't like or care to be around. I get told by people that I am in the wrong from keeping my kids from them but I feel like my kids don't need to be around that or see what they are doing. I just really dont know what to really do know what to think about it.



My husband doesn't like  for my children to be around some of my family because they smoke and drink.  My children needs to know ALL of their family so i continue to take them around, I also teach my children to be a leader and not a follower and that smoking and drinking is bad for their health.  I don't let them be around them when they smoke marijuana. They are also not right by them when they are drinking and smoking, they are always far enough away so that they don't inhale second hand smoke.  I'm not a drinker are a smoker, never have even tried it but i have been around it alot.  I hate the smell of smoke and the drinks so i keep my distance btu i'm still sociable with my family because i love them.

Peggy - posted on 08/16/2009

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Is it your family or in-law's? It probably would be a little easier if it was your own, maybe you could talk to them, but if not it is harder. I sorta have/had the same problem with my inlaws. They would show signs of prejudice and say things I would not like or agree with. I would try to just not agree with them and then after we left them I would reiterate to my kids that what they were saying was not right. Now my kids are teens and, I have done my best to raise them with good morals and hopefully that will carry it on in their lives.

Staceybest - posted on 08/16/2009

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it is your choice your the mum dont let anyone make you feel bad.. i know ppl that i dont wont my kids around but most of the time if there decant enough you can talk to them and make sure they dont do sertain things in front of your kids but there are to many bad ppl out there so dont trust just anyone. i had a bad experiance trusting some one i have know all my life and that taught me the hard way. trust your gut.

Lisa - posted on 08/16/2009

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You are not wrong at all. My daughters not allowed around her aunt and the boyfriend because they are heavy drinkers and their language gets foul the more they drink. she is 2 and copies all words she hears. Stick to your guns .Don't let anyone tell you how to raise your child.

Andrea - posted on 08/16/2009

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Quoting Leeza:

Is it wrong not leting your kids be around some of your family because you don't like what they do?

I have family members that does things that I don't like or care to be around. I get told by people that I am in the wrong from keeping my kids from them but I feel like my kids don't need to be around that or see what they are doing. I just really dont know what to really do know what to think about it.


I agree with you Leeza, as parents we must apply the "parent filter" ; I don't let my 13 year old watch rated R movies, my 6 year old rarely gets to watch a PG-13; children model what they see - so keep on keeping a handle on what your child is exposed to.  GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

Bernie - posted on 08/15/2009

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i have been in this situation also.. what i learned is that i would take my kids to visit, but it would be a VERY limited visit. and, it would depend upon what "condition" of the visit feels like.. if there is violence, drug/alcohol abuse, domestic abuse, or just general degradation atmosphere a consent..then i chose NOT to involve my kids to that enviroment.. this is more the protection of my kids! i am responsible for their well-being and they depend on me to protect them.. depends on their age i will explain the reason accordingly.. good luck.. moms need to go by their gut instincts!

Bernadette - posted on 08/14/2009

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Quoting Leeza:

Is it wrong not leting your kids be around some of your family because you don't like what they do?

I have family members that does things that I don't like or care to be around. I get told by people that I am in the wrong from keeping my kids from them but I feel like my kids don't need to be around that or see what they are doing. I just really dont know what to really do know what to think about it.



I have experienced this situation.  At first you have to observe how bad the situation is, then if it is of bad influence to your children that it gets them in trouble in the future then you need to confront nicely these relatives.  Also explain to your children that "our family does things different and do not repeat the relatives actions or words", if your child insist then, don't expose them to the bad surroundings for we can only teach our children right from wrong @ certain age after that, they can decide on their own the good from the bad, hopefully they will remember the good things you have taught them thru childhood.

Cathy - posted on 08/14/2009

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My mother brings my nephew for weeks at a time to stay with her. He's three years older than my oldest daughter, and his influence on my kids is always negative. He’s disrespectful to his grandmother and will not follow any rules laid out. He lies, steals and teaches my kids all about topics of interest in his life, i.e.: drugs, stealing, swearing and on and on… I wish I could find one person who supported me keeping him away from my kids; but "he's family". At this point, I just limit the time he has with them to a few hours at a time. I’m always the “Bad Cop”. I always have to be the one to say “no” to the constant requests sleepovers, camping trips, and asking to take my kids to my mom’s house (without me). I have tried and tried to explain to him the importance of following rules and respecting adults and realizing that my kids are younger. He always promises to do as he’s asked, but never ever does. As he gets older he just gets better at lying and shmoozing; but as my kids tell me, it’s all an act. I feel sorry for him, I hate that he thinks I hate him; but as I have to continually tell my kids, it’s my job to raise and protect them. If he can’t respect my family, then I don’t have to have an open door policy. I’m definitely worried about what will come up in the next few years, and whether or not I will have to completely sever the ties if he gets into drugs; which seems inevitable to me. So for now, we just plan for a few weeks of debriefing after his visits to get my kids back on track and explain to them the error of his ways, hoping they’ll learn to make better choices in their lives. It’s exhausting every time, but what can I do?

Karna - posted on 08/13/2009

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I'm in agreement with everyone else. There is nothing wrong in proctecting your childern. I'm going through the same thing with my husbands family right now and my husband is very supported of not letting our son be around them. We feel that it is in the best intrested for our son. You are the mom! I hope that your husband is also very supportive in your decision.

Charity - posted on 08/13/2009

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You are your child's best advocate and need to put her in safe, healthy situations. If it's coming from the right place and for the right reasons then it's fine.

[deleted account]

It was really great to read all of these posts and very timely for me. I just went through a situation where my cousin invited herself to my son's birthday party and I had to say that I didn't want her there. She and her son who has been in and out of juvenile detention/jail and some random guy who is not her husband and I'm not really sure who he is or why he is around. Anyway, this made it a very bad situation since my aunt and other cousin were caught in the middle. I've been feeling really bad about it but I don't want my kids around that. It made me feel better to read everyone else's posts. Thanks!

Nicole - posted on 08/13/2009

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Kim Immehort



Thank you, I do not let her see my daughter only at big family functions where I know she won't say anything! We got into it about it when no children were present and I laid into her but she is heartless. Words are no use with her so I just avoid her at all costs, as for my husband, she talked to him like that when he wsa a kid so he has become used to it! Sad, so I told him I wouldn't be a mother if I let my child "get used to anything like that" So he only sees her when he takes my step-daughter there on the weekends, it was hard esp. to explain to a nine year old but she knows b/c her grandmother is always saying stuff, my step-daughter has actually defended her little sis to her grandma. Its so crazy, the way she acts its like its not even real to me, so we just steer clear b/c I'm kinda nieve and I can't handle things like that it makes me sick, literally! But thank you I hope I am a strong woman because I want my daughter to be too!

Suzanne - posted on 08/13/2009

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No I don't think it is wrong to keep your children away from your family. It is your RESPOSABILATY to keep those children safe with every means posable. I have the same issue with my own parents and they only get to see my kids when we go to my grandmothers house. That is the only time they know how to behave in front of my children. If my parents start to treat my kids wrong while we are there we leave. They don't need that in there lives. They have done nothing wrong why should they have to put up with the adults acting that way. Children should not have to pay for some thing they did not do.



I know it is very hard some times but we have been given these little angles to keep safe and to love and enjoy. I hope this helps..

Missy - posted on 08/13/2009

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I would not, avoid a family function, but I also would not just drop my kids off with a family member that I dont aprove of for them to watch my kids. If I had to be arround that person or persons I would just keep my kids close.

Beverly - posted on 08/13/2009

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I agree,a person who loves their family should be asked to control their behavior around your children.If they really want to see them they will.I think some people do this because they don't like the person and nothing hurts like not seeing someone you love.

Jessica - posted on 08/13/2009

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If you feel that some of your family is inappropriate around your kids or just do things you don't like then KEEP THEM AWAY! I have been dealing with problems of my mother and step father trying to control me and tell me what to do in raising my son. When I would not do it they got ticked and did what they could to destroy my marriage. (Which they succeded there.) If your kids ask about them just explain the situation when there old enough or in words they understand, I had to do that to my son 2 years ago when my parents snubbed my son and did not want to see him (he was only 5 years old and He wanted to know why they did not want to see him and if he did something wrong to make them hate him) cause they were mad at me for now bowing down to them. I live by "You raised your kids now its my turn to raise mine" be strong stick to your guns PROTECT those KIDS. Keep in mind what others say to you but follow you heart and gut in situations dealing with your kids GOOD LUCK

Michelle - posted on 08/13/2009

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You have the devine animal right to protect your life and the life of your offspring. If the situation is not a good infuence, you're a better mother for recognizing it and then DOING something about it. I've been there (still am... wih my MIL)

Christina - posted on 08/13/2009

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I have to agree with everyone else. Athough, I have an issue something like yours. I have a sister that thinks she's the COOL mom. She lets her teenage daughters do what ever including having the boy friends sleep over. I had decided at first that my boys could go but they could not when the boy friends were staying and now that my neice got pregnant in her own mothers house it scares me that My sister will let my kids do what ever they want and not uphold what my husband and I think is right. So they are not allowed to stay all night any more but maybe visit with me around. Its going to be hard but I have to stick to what we think is right. Moms have to stick up for our kids no one else is going to.

Joy - posted on 08/13/2009

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Hi!! Just wanted to say that there are all sorts of things that can influence your kids. Making sure that they can always ask you about the way people behave is more important than not letting them see it. When they go to school they are exposed to different things like swearing etc but as long as they can come home and say, "Mummy, Johnny said ****, what does that mean?" You are then in a position to be the one telling them the what's and why's. There are a lot of words and actions I've talked about with my son. He says it once, I try to explain why it's bad and make it very clear it's never to be said again: family rules!! I copied this off my Mom. How would your family members react if you said: "These are my house rules for my kids, what do you think? I want them respected, what you do in your own time is up to you but if you are with the kids, could you do these things, please?" If they don't want to do the things you ask, you are perfectly justified in restricting their influence. As long as your kids can talk to you, you will know whether or not and to what extent things are affecting them and you can also see it in their behavior. My oldest son was quiet and almost reclusive after a visit to one friends home, that's a possible warning sign, time for a talk at least.

Aimee - posted on 08/12/2009

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Before I got married, after the wedding & throughout most of my pregnancy my mother-in-law was mean to me. I've always told my husband that its his mother & he should love her no matter what but if she kept on saying mean things that I wouldn't let our son around her. I think she got the hint when I never showed up to her house until my 33rd week of pregnancy (I gave birth at 36 weeks). I've always been a firm believer that infants understand more than we know. You are the mother & NEED to protect your children, even if it is from close family members. My husbands' cousin is also NEVER allowed near my son. She has said some hurtful things to me & is plain mean. I don't want my son subjected to people being mean to him or being a bad influence. My motto is if you don't like it tough. My kid, my rule! You just have to gain a thick skin for those other family members telling you you are in the wrong. Be strong!

ME - posted on 08/12/2009

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My children will never meet their uncle (my brother) because he is abusive, angry, and occasionally violent. I have no problem keeping them away from him. My family are all aware of my feelings, so no one is in the dark about my issues with him. I also have some incredibly racist family members that I will do my best to keep away from my children (they do get invited to weddings and funerals...so, I might have to make a few acceptions), but they won't be invited into my home. I think parents have EVERY right to protect their children from anything or anyone; it's our job!

Jody - posted on 08/12/2009

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I have a younger sister that is a stripper, do I like this? NO... but my 10 year old son and her are very close... My son doesn't have any idea what she soes for a living... and I told her when she first started doing it that he was not to know. She has enough respect for me and my values not to bring it up around my son. Therefore if your family does things you don't agree with, that is no reason to keep your children from them... Family is all you will ever have... I would just sit them down and explain you don't agree with what they do, but that is their choose. If they want to see your children they can not do that in front of them or discuss it in front of your children. If they want a relationship with you and your family they will do as you have asked.

Keyta - posted on 08/12/2009

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The bible says...bad association spoils useful habits,(1Corth 15:33) so therefore if some of your family members are doing things you dont want your children to be exposed to there is no shame in protecting them, let the bible guide your decisions.

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