Is it wrong to spank my one year old?

Kellie - posted on 04/18/2010

I was watching a talk show, can't remember which, but it was about hitting and spanking children. there is a line between abuse and disipline. There was a specialist on the show, and I believe this to be true, she said, "It depends on the child." Now I was spanked as a child, I learned real quick, but I didn't fear my parents, I respect them. If he's laughing when you hit his hand, spanking will not help you, it'll just make thing worse. With my child I introduced him to a whole lot of new activities to do. He loves the park and walking and playing outside. He knows that when he acts out that his fun time is reduced or taken away. This works for him. It's a basic reward system, I think, but it works. Your child is different I'm sure, but if what you are doing as disipline is not working, experiment and try to see if you can find a disiplinary action that works. Good luck!

Jodi - posted on 04/18/2010

OK Ladies, I have just had to delete several posts for personal attacks. This thread will now be locked, because it is obvious people can't keep it nice.



Thank you

Jodi Adams

WtCoM Moderator

Alexis - posted on 04/18/2010

I would let him know that what he is doing won't work. He will not get what he wants by acting badly. One is a bit young for spanking. I think it will make things worse to do that.

Good luck!

Megan - posted on 04/18/2010

@ Samantha Klippelt: I'm sorry if I came across as talking down to her or giving her "bad advice". She asked for an opinion & I just let her know what I do. AND I told her she was doing a good thing by asking. It shows she cares. My ex left when my son was 3 months old. He was my only source of income and I can't drive because of my epilepsy and I'm a full time student. I'm just flying by the seat of my pants and just letting her know what works for my son and I. I'm not standing on a soapbox preaching in a holier than thou manner. But by putting my son in his playpen I show him there are consequences to his actions and I have a few seconds to calm down and let my frustration go. Do I believe in spanking? Yes, but just not at one year of age and as a LAST RESORT. Hope that clears stuff up for you Samantha.

Vanessa - posted on 04/18/2010

In society people generally don't go around hitting each other, and if they do we look at them as abusive, out of control, as wife beaters, as having anger problems, we say that what they are doing is wrong.

Put yourself in your sons place. Teach him right from wrong.
He is exploring his little world and you are his teacher.
Be the best teacher you can be, take the time to teach him!
What does hitting teach him?
Use your words! I'm sure you don't go round hitting your friends if you have a disagreement,
So why would you hit your child, your creation?

Samantha - posted on 04/18/2010

oh Bridgette, I can't even believe I just wasted about 15mins of my day reading all these horrid responses, I'm so sorry that u asked for simple advice and this is what u have been left with!

I know and totally understand where u are coming from, I had my 1st baby at 21 and was in the same boat. Smacking or not smacking that is ur choice. Don't let all these "supermums" on here make u feel like an inadequate mother. I honnestly can not believe how many ppl on here put u down, this is why we have stressed to the max mummys! My advice to u is 2 really try redirections and positive praise. I did this with my son (who also used to laugh when I would smack him) and it has really worked...the point is to not mention the bad behaviour and praise the good...and redirection, redirection, redirection! it takes heaps of persistance! but it works for me.
Good luck Bridgette, I think ur a fabulous mother for having the courage to ask for help and advice, it shows how much u love ur son,and want to do the right thing by him, my hat goes off to u!

Megan - posted on 04/18/2010

@ 1 then it's not really a good idea. my kiddo is abt 17 mths & very...rambunctious? :) but i swat his diaper from time to time to get his attn or redirct. no kid is the same as another. personally, i believe in spankings, just not @ his age. if mine gets too out of control i give a firm no, and stick him in his playpen. no toys, books, nothing. my doc said time out by age. 1yr=1 min/2yr=2min/3yr=3min and so on. turn off tv, music, and ignore him. when the minute is up then take him out xoxoxo and go on abt your day. not only does it give him a feeling of consequence bt gives you a min to step back from the prob and take a breath so as not to fly off the deep end. no i dont think its abuse & just by posting shows you care enough to ask for suggestions.

Veronique - posted on 04/18/2010

Ok wait a minute this is for Amy Lea. I live in Canada and i've never heard about it be illegal to spank a child under 2. I would like for you to tell me and show me where it says that. I'm on the fence about spanking. I think that if you don't want your child to do something divert he's attention to something else. You know the phrase that Dr Phil says " AND HOW'S THAT WORKING FOR YOU" well it seems that spanking is not working so how about when your son acts up try giving him a toy or put the T.V on or start dancing and get him to dance with you or tell in to help you with something ( like folding laundry ect ect ) and get him to dance with you, it will take he's attention away from what he was doing and you won't have to spank and he won't laugh at you but will laugh with you instead.

Good Luck

Brittney - posted on 04/18/2010

there is no right or wrong way your child will learn how they learn. just be careful with the hand swating that they dont potentially get the idea it's ok to hit. my daughter started that one about a month after I would swat her hand and tell her no she's 18 months now and instead we do time out or if it's something that she can get hurt on like playing with cords or putting keys in to holes i swat her diaper and tell her no. it seems to work so far. I just remember growing up time out didn't work but getting my butt spanked did.

Kizmect - posted on 04/18/2010

Bridgette, I understand ur turmoil. I don't think ur a bad mom nor can I say whether u should or shouldn't spank ur child. Some of these comments r coming from ignorant people who really don't know what it's like to be a single mom struggling to make a life for ur child! I do! Forget what they're talking about. U asked for suggestions and they're giving u flak! The key to helping ur child is consistency! U must be consistent n ur discipline efforts. U also have to do more encouraging of the positive behaviors than the negative. Hopefully this helps u out! Good luck! I hope u only take good advise from mothers who know what this life is about!

Joanne - posted on 04/18/2010

Between the age of new born and 2 children are still learning the difference between good touch and bad touch nd if you start spanking now they will not take spankings seriously becuz they will not understand the difference. there are other methods of dicipline, he is not too young for time out (naughty chair... gotta love supernanny.. lol) and the punsihment should fit the crime. and spankings hosuld be the last resort. the punishment should progress as the bad behavour continues.



this is from a woman (my mother) with 27 years of experience... (and she had some real bad ones... lol)

Joleen - posted on 04/18/2010

Depending on your definition of "spank", I don't see anything wrong with it. I do NOT agree with beating a child. That is wrong. AND I don't think you should spank with anger. BUT I do believe in discipline. AND sometimes the shock of the spank only takes one time. Then the reminder of it lingers...

Liz - posted on 04/18/2010

Have you tried time out? When my now 5 year old was one i would try different methods. however the last resort was popping him on the butt and i would put his face to mine and explain to him the reason why i popped him.This is the learning stage and like you said you have to get a grip on him now or its going to be a rough road.But try other methods first and have the spankin the last thing and after you spank him tell him the reason behind that spankin.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/18/2010

Hi Bridgette, I hope you haven't felt attacked by the mothers on here who feel their opinion to judge your question is justified. You are by no means a bad parent for asking this very normal question and you do not lack in parenting skills for asking it (don't go running off for a parenting class as suggested). I'm sure you are just looking for other mothers who are in the same position or have been in the past who can be helpful not judgemental and rude.



The reality of raising children is that there is no science to it. It is not predictable. Every child is different and they will respond differently to discipline methods. The trick for you is to figure out which style works best for your son.



If you want to get Biblical, it is said that God gives each of us a spriritual gift...knowing what gifting your child is will help because it gives you a road map to their personality type. I'd be happy to share some material with you if you want it (send me a private message)...I'm not going to do so publically after seeing the posts you have received.



Above all YOU have to trust YOUR judgement on what is needed for your son...after all you know him best. I would suggest that if you decide that a swat on the diaper is needed, that you do it in a calm fashion without anger. It is not illegal to swat your child on the butt at any age (don't believe everything you read) though as you can see there will be some people who want to judge you for it....and would like to scare you into believing/thinking the way they do. These are the same people who have kids who act out in resteraunts and grocery stores and are not corrected....and their reasoning is that the child is "expressing themselves"...they usually lose all controll as a parent when the child is older.



It sounds like you are an very involved and proactive parent...looking for ways to help your son grow in this world and be able to handle life situations. Teach him as you think he needs to and don't be fooled by those who are quick to tell you are wrong. Chances are you son will be much more productive later in life because you chose to actually parent him.





Just so you can be assured that your little monster is not alone....it is very typical at your sons age to act out and you probably feel like things are out of control. He is starting his "terrible twos" early (YAY! :-) I know this sounds crazy but this is actually a postive thing. Your son is showing his independance and strong willed nature very young...giving you the opportunity to embrace those qualities in him and prepare for the challenge ahead. You are right, you don't want to ignore this behavior and let him get away with it...doing so sets a bad precedent for later. However, you will have to practice extra patience during the next couple of years. If you can create and maintain boundaries now, you will save yourself in the long run and prove to be an awesome parent. Creating those boundaries is the hard part...and like I said every child is different. Some kids naturally respond well to "no" or other forms re-direction and may not need to ever be swat....other kids you can try every trick in the book to redirect their behavior (there are whole books on the different methods...I've read a lot of them trying to find answers for one of our kids) and eventually you learn that a swat is what gets their attention....though I agree it should be a last resort...and overuse will make it ineffective. In my personal opinion, at his age a swat should not be painful in any way, its only purpose is to get his attention. If you believe the same way, then make sure to swat the diaper cause that will assure you it won't hurt. Then get on his level and in a very calm voice explain to him why he can't do whatever it is he's doing....he's not going to understand all of your words...be he is going to start understanding cause and effect. Then quickly pick a new activity that you guys can enjoy together (like dancing to music or running around in a circle chasing each other or tickle time). If the issue is he throwing things, work with him to clean up before your new activity. If this doesn't work, try a new method....you will find something eventually that works well.



Good luck and again...you have done nothing wrong :-)

Tracie - posted on 04/18/2010

Just divert him away from whatever it is, if you can't remove the problem from his environment/play area. Don't make a big deal out of little things, sometimes they need to push the buttons on the television a few hundred times- if you just let them do it, they soon get over it and will leave it alone, but if you keep telling them No, it's makes them want it even more! Try to take the word NO out of your daily routine, just move him, fly like an aeroplane into his bedroom- sit on the floor and start playing with his toys, he'll soon be busy and you can move on from there. Give him lots of play opportunities, especially outside with coloured waters, pots and pans- ice-cream containers etc. Have fun with him, he sounds like an awesome little bundle of energy! Run Run Run :-)

Joefel - posted on 04/18/2010

Kindly check on this blogspot for more inspiration:



http://fabnaima.blogspot.com/2010/04/spa...



Good luck!

Patricia - posted on 04/18/2010

I have not read all these posts, but the Positive Discipline mentioned in Emily's reply is what I have used most often in my discipline approach. Remember that discipline comes from the greek which means "to teach." What do you want to teach your children? If you spank, you are teaching your children to hit. Also, don't know how many of you have teenagers, but spanking is no longer effective when they are bigger and stronger than you. So, you are laying the foundation, today, for what you would like in the future. I almost think people with young kids should read a book about parenting teenagers, first! It is hard to think about that when you have small kids, but adolescence comes much more quickly than you think. And everything you do, today, will affect your relationship during that very tumultuous time.

Jessica - posted on 04/18/2010

I am a spanker, but I take into consideration what they are doing. I reserve spanking for things that are dangerous, like running into a road, or reaching for a hot stove or climbing a bookshelf or dresser. Other than that I try the distraction, when they are laughing at you they aren't taking you seriously. Times outs and standing your ground when saying "no" no matter how big there fit becomes, is also the best thing I ever did. I also had to base it on my childs personality, The Five Love Languages for children is a book that helped me understand what disipline will actually work on each child and when they are just seeking attention. Parenting is trial and error, every child is different and never compare your child to anyone else's, get to know them, pay attention to when their worst times are, maybe they are more monster like when they are tired or feel like they aren't getting your attention enough. Taking a 5 minute break to sing a song or read a book with them when they are really acting up can just be what they need and they go back to your little angle. Good luck, hope it helps.

Joefel - posted on 04/18/2010

Yes, it is. Recent efforts of child-focused civil society groups are directed towards creating legislations that would penalize spanking or other forms of corporal punishments. I know being a parent is really challenging, but it is our responsibility to nurture well their physical and psychological development.

Krista - posted on 04/18/2010

Yes, it's wrong to spank your one-year-old. There are plenty of other discipline techniques out there, and I'm sure many people here have suggested some to you. I'm not vehemently anti-spanking, but I do think that spanking a baby is counterproductive and just teaches them to hit.

Sally - posted on 04/18/2010

Children are not born knowing right from wrong. They are not born understanding spoken language. A baby learns by observing the reactions of those around him. Calling a 1 yr old a "little monster" is totally unfair. Children seek to please their caregivers. They need guidance, not punishment. When a baby touches something it is because he doesn't know what it is, how it feels, what it does, etc. He's not doing the things he does to "get at you" or to "make you mad" or to "disobey". He does things to learn. How would you react if you were in a situation that you did not understand, with people who spoke a language you didn't understand, and you were yelled at and/or hit when you touched things? That is a child's world for many years. I hear people say things like "I have to stop him before it's too late." Too late for what? Too late to learn fear? Too late to inhibit curiosity? If you hear a husband say he had to slap/spank/hit his wife when she doesn't clean the house to his specifications, you say he's a wife beater. You say he's abusive. If the wife says, "He only does it because he loves me." you would say she is abused. How is that different from spanking a child? If your teenage daughter comes home with a black eye or a fat lip and says her boyfriend "only hits me for my own good." you would call the cops on him....at least I would hope you would. Yet the same parent says, "I only spank my child for his own good." and that's ok.

Please don't tell me that "not spanking is the cause of children being disrespectful and out of control." Go to any prison in this country and ask how many inmates were spanked as children. I would bet that every single one of them was.

As for the "spare the rod and spoil the child" contingent.....you all claim to be "Christians." I thought Christianity was supposed to be based on love, yet you advocate violence and pain for the youngest, most vulnerable members of society. How is that "loving"?

IT IS NEVER OK TO HIT A CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Michelle - posted on 04/18/2010

hi Bridget



i am a mom of 5 girls,i never smack because i used the counting the fingers techniquie.i count to 5 on one hand,5 is a full hand and then a little smack,they tend to get the picture real quick,i have used this technique for 18 years.My teenages now laugh at me ,but they still run.i found they understood the concept quite fast,i have never had to smack them.it works for me and other friends i introduced it too.

Ranae - posted on 04/18/2010

he doesnt understand why he is being smack he just knows ur mad and that is only going make him act out more maybe try putting him in time out and when he gets up put him back let him know u mean bussiness and u r the boss not him. i dont think at one he understands smacking. but they understand time out they learn quick i dnt wana sit by myself i want to play!!! hope everything works out.

Niki - posted on 04/18/2010

P.S. Check out ocal school Love N Logic on line. It's a very good resourse. A local school district has adopted it!

Niki - posted on 04/18/2010

It is still "legal" to spank your child. It is never to early to teach you child right and wrong. No you should not vent you anger on them in any shape or form be it by spanking, mocking, or yelling and cusing them! Do parents do it? Yes. We've all scene the kid misbehave at the store, and the parent react in the above fashion.

If you chose to correct your child with a spanking, then do it with a calm, quiet voice. don't raise your voice. don't wait until you've told them 15x's and then hull of and slap them silly! For a 1 year old, keep it simple, and as a safety issue. Say, teaching them to stay away from the fireplace or the plugs. Tell them in very few words" no son this will hurt you" say it every time he heads over to it. You say that a hand slap is not working. I've always be told not to ues my hand, but rather a small object such as a flip-flop. Whatever you use,First slap your thigh with it! This way you know how it feels. Then tell him(in a calm tone) "son, i love you and i don't want harm to come to you because you aren't doing what i say. Repeat the instruction, and give him 1to3 swats on his bum. Dry his tears and give him something else to focus on, say a toy or a book.

I have 6 children, and all are different, and respond differently, but they all have needed a spanking here and there, but mainly we've used it as a last resort, and for safety matters.

Whatever you choose, the main thing is to always be in controle of yourself and your reactions. Also, be consistant with what you request of them. I hope this is helpful to you, and good luck with your son. Remember, he is only going to be little for a very short time and it goes sooooo fast. My husband always tells me this and it helps me to slow down and enjoy what little time i have with them.

Megan - posted on 04/18/2010

obviously the spanking is not working and you need to find something that will work for him.

SHIRLEY - posted on 04/18/2010

A 12 month old is a baby, no it is not alright to spank him or her, at this age they are not capable of understanding what you want of them, they think you are playing, take his hand and say no no. but that is it. He will not grow up to be a bad kid because you didn;t spank him soon enough. and until they are close to 3 yrs. old you can tell them no and they go right back in a few minutes, because there brain has already forgotten you told them no. It sounds like you need a break, spanking a baby will not help you.

Christine - posted on 04/18/2010

I had a son that was the same way. When he was 2 I spanked his bottom and he laughed at me. So I had to find a different way. I did the time outs like they do on Nanny 911. I found a stool and put it in the center of the living room, where he couldn't reach anything and that was his naughty spot. There were days where a 2 minute time out took us 20 minutes to complete. Every time he got up from that stool I sat him right back down in it and restarted the timer. He would just laugh and get back up and we would start over. Eventually he got the understanding that I was not going to back down. Trust me, it wasn't easy. It took a few months, this wasn't an easy transition. But he started doing his time outs without a fight. Now he is almost 5 and we are at the point where a look is all that is needed. I didn't think we would ever get there but we did. I'm not opposed to spanking, there are times I think it is necessary, but when you have a child that laughs at you when you spank, I think you need to find an alternative option. Those are the strong willed boys. =-) You're doing the right thing by taming this little monster before its too late.

Susan - posted on 04/18/2010

He thinks you're playing.

Jeanne - posted on 04/18/2010

We spank but now looking back I am not sure it helped. It depends on the child. I can remember thinking "spankings don't hurt long so this worth it"! Taking a toy or putting them in time out might hurt more and get better results. Eye contact with explanation of reason not to do whatever is what our daughter-in-law has used and it gets results I wanted but did not get most of the time. Consistency is absolutely necessary.

Angela - posted on 04/18/2010

Wow, I was reading the comments and some of them were harsh! I'm glad I didn't ask that question! My son is 13 months and I don't spank him, I did it once only in his hand, because he took out the protector in the outlet and was inserting his fingers, I run and almost scream NO, and I am still not sure if he understood, because he still does it sometimes, so I keep repeating NO and take him to another place, now I noticed that when he starts throwing his bottle, or spills his milk in the carpet just for the heck of it and I tell him NO very seriously and with a higher voice, he looks at me and starts to cry a little, so I think he is getting it, without the spanking part. The only advice I can give you is :

Read the experiences of other moms, that helps (I like the one that counts until 100, I am going to try it), and decide for yourself, you are getting to know your child and you'll eventually learn what gets his attention, and you will know what to do in your heart. But if sometimes you get really tired, don't treat him different,or overreact, breathe and be patient.

Amy - posted on 04/18/2010

I waited until my daughter was 2. I still feel guilty and it pains me to see her reaction which is one of clinging to me and wanting to hold me. So I feel like she knows that I'm dissappointed but is scared that I'll leave her or not love her which is heartbreaking. I was spanked 2 good times by my mom and needed no others. Just the threat was enough to make me mind her. I'm also so confused as to how to use spanking as punishment.

Laura - posted on 04/18/2010

My son is 1 also and does the same thing (laughing if I smack his hand and say no). We have started a smack on the diaper and sitting him in a time-out chair. He doesn't really understand the concept of the chair right now so it is hard to keep him there for more than a few seconds. I don't think beating a child is right, of course, but a swat on the diaper (or back of the hand) is not wrong in my opinion. And in response to the post that stated it was illegal...in Kentucky (I can't speak for other states or other countries) it is not illegal to swat a child of any age on the butt, leg, hand as long as it does not leave a mark (imprint) or a bruise. I can speak from first-hand knowledge because I did work at social services for 2 years. I think that it is your child and you will know what works best. Don't let anyone tell you how to discipline - as long as it isn't to the point of abuse.

Alicia - posted on 04/18/2010

I think that Amy Lea you need to be more constructive rather than taking your anger out on a woman who is simply asking for help and guidance, being biased is not the way to help solve problems. If you are so opinionated, perhaps you should try "venting" in a anti-spanking forum.

Caroline - posted on 04/18/2010

Ms Smith, I couldnt have said it better myself! :)

Cloyce-Pat - posted on 04/18/2010

What I am going to say is probably going to go against the grain to a lot of mom's out there. There is a difference between spanking a child and beating a child. My dad always said "spare the rod and spoil the child" and I am a firm believer in that. I got many spankings when I did something wrong as a child and my children also got spankings and I don't feel that I was hurt in any way because of it and I don't feel that my kids were hurt by it either because we have three great kids who this year will be 37, 35 and 33 and all of them have great jobs and great families and I would stack them up against many kids their same age who got away with anything they wanted to. Kids need to be disciplined but it needs to be done with love not anger. Hope this helpes.

Caroline - posted on 04/18/2010

Brilliant thanks!

Lisa - posted on 04/18/2010

Also look here http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/15/health... and here: http://www.phdinparenting.com/

Caroline - posted on 04/18/2010

I'll look those up thanks!! I think the main thing here is to encourage you Bridgette! I hope you figure out how to communicate with your little monster!! Its tough to take everything in! :)

Lisa - posted on 04/18/2010

Redirection, attention, validation.
Try looking at Alfie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting and Davis & Keiser's Becoming the Parent You Want to Be.

Caroline - posted on 04/18/2010

I dont feel as strongly as you lisa, I se where you are coming from though! :) have you any suggestions as to how do dicipline little ones? My lady is testing me a lot and being a first timer, I welcome all suggestions!

Lisa - posted on 04/18/2010

It is morally reprehensible and wrong under all circumstances to hit children. It is also ineffective as a form of discipline, but that is rather beside the point that it is unethical. Period.

Caroline - posted on 04/18/2010

Hiya, my little girl is two next month and like you, I give her a little smack when she is bold. However, I found that she would focus more on the fact that her poor hand was sore! (it wasnt but you would swear it was about to fall off!) I decided to give her time outs. I work in child care but am a bit sceptical about time outs. With the support of the girl who minds my daughter in the creche, I decided to give it a try. Its recommended that you time the time out based on their age, my daughter is almost two so she gets two minutes. It seemed to work for a while, but then, after a week or so, you would threaten her "do you want a time out?" and she would say yes!! Cheeky cow!! Her minder suggested we call it the naughty chair as that has a negative connotation. Personally, I find its working. I tell her why she is on time out, and give her the otions (eg: do you want to put on your pyjamas? -no- ok, then you have to stay on time out/ on your naughty chair . Its not easy but I am finding it effective. after time out I explain to her what happened and praise her for choosing to put on her pjs for example. She also gets lots of cuddles after it. Dont listen to anyone accusing you of abuse or whatever. I was smacked as a child and I dont feel like I was abused. I understand that you want to show him that if he is naughty, he will have to get a punishment, thats why I did it. I am trying the timeouts as I felt that smacks werent working, and due to outside pressures telling me that it made me a terrible mother, I would also feel guilty. Give timeouts a try and let me know how it goes!!! My mam had six babies who all grew up to be fairly well rounded and happy and even she will tell you that its trial and error! No matter what you do you will question yourself!! Hope this helps! xx

Davina - posted on 04/18/2010

I think if you are going to spank you have to not be doing it in anger, if you are angry cool down first before you do anything. the best website I found on child training is www.nogreaterjoy.org.

Kendall - posted on 04/18/2010

OMG! I am so disturbed how some of you will justify spanking (also known as beating!!) your children. A wooden spoon? Are you kidding me? That is abuse. Please, please look for alternatives and spare our precious little ones such horrific treatment.

Erin - posted on 04/18/2010

I think if you are going to spank a kid, make sure it actually hurts. Otherwise it is just a game. Sounds like he thinks it is a game. If I were you, I would just ignore him. Seems like he is craving your attention, even if it's negative. Research negative reinforcement. It might help you and give you better advice than you would get here.

Bev - posted on 04/18/2010

NO!!!! It sounds as though you need stronger discipline for your child. Make sure it is controlled (I used a wooden spoon and the child got 3 swats on the butt for an obvious disobedience. If the disobedience was repeated in defiance, then, it was 6 swats with a little more power. If there was a third time, then, it was 9 swats. Usually it never got to that. __ and, yes, some will claim that this it "beating" the child. There is a BIG difference between controlled discipline and beating. Beating a child usually is done when there has been little proper discipline and the parent is frustrated or angry about how the child is acting. The normal reaction is just to yell or scream and/or hit the child. - - The parent is out of control themselves.) Proper discipline is consistant (same discipline for same disobedience); never threaten what you will not carry out. A big part of training/discipline of a child is a respect for the child by the parent and, respect for the parent by the child. But, you are right. You cannot let this go on any longer. Your son is strong willed and needs you to be stronger. I always told my kids that no matter what they did - I would always be the stronger one because I loved them too much to let them overrule me.

Sherri - posted on 04/18/2010

Spanking is wrong. It sends "the little monster" the wrong message. It tells him that to get your way violence solves all problems, try explaining what he is doing wrong, in a calm rational voice. This is advice from parents, of a 4 year old "little monster" Been

there still, working out the kinks.

Laura - posted on 04/18/2010

You are your son's mom!!! If you feel you should start spanking, go ahead. That's how I was raised. And my 1 yr old has gotten a few herself.

Rach - posted on 04/18/2010

Its just a matter of being persistant. I know for a busy mom its hard to be persistant. If you are a busy mom with no time to keep an eye on your little, you probably need to invest in a play area gate. If you are a non busy mom then the solution is simple, all you need to do is use the mean mommy face when you catch him doing something and say "NO, NO" make sure to touch or point at the object that hes not allowed to touch. If he does it again, just repeat. Its sooooo tiring but they will eventually get the point. Make sure you make the mean mommy face this way when he sees the mean mommy face he will know hes doing something wrong, its a form of body language. Also, when you try to disipline you little one, make sure you dont play with him right after he didnt something wrong...because it makes him think you are only joking and he wont take you serious. I have a naughty pill in the center of my livingroom for my 1.5 year old, if she climbing on stuff and is being crazy. I grab her by the arm and sit her on the pillow, if she gets up...i take her right back....its time comsuming and is hard to get past the crying, but it works. So now when shes doing something shes not suppose to be doing, I will give her the mean mommy face and she will go sit on her pillow. :) Good Luck!!