Is my 10 year old ready for sex education?

[deleted account] ( 37 moms have responded )

My 10 year old daughter has friends that already know about sex, but when I want to talk to her about it she just walks away. Is it because she already knows something or shes just not quite ready?

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Trina - posted on 05/18/2009

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I would try to talk to her in the car - that way she can't walk away. Of course, don't push and don't try to make the conversation uncomfortable. Just casually bring it up while travelling. My daughter gets horribly uncomfortable when we talk about sex, but the more we talk, the more comfortable she gets. I just keep reminding her that it's normal to be curious, and its normal to be uncomfortable with it at her age. I also told her that she doesn't need to know anymore than she's comfortable with (which turned out to be EVERYTHING haha)

Something that helped her to be more comfortable talking about it was me telling her that not everything her friends say will be true and that its important that she has the correct information, which I will have when she's ready. It took a while, but eventually she wanted to know everything. Afterwards, I made sure to remind her that what we had talked about shouldn't be shared with her friends because their parents may not want them to know everything.

Just keep gently trying and have patience!

Michelle - posted on 05/28/2009

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Quoting Rena':

Hello Elisa - Oh boy oh boy!! And just yesterday it was dolls. Hang on tight Mom, you're in for the ride of your life! She knows what she knows from friends, but who better to teach her but her Mom. My goodness! The changing body, everything is emotional or boring, the embarrassing mother - yeah we become an embarrassment too - all of it is gloriously wonderful and frightening at the same time. My daughter is 32 years old, and I asked her what the most important thing she remembered when we went through this stage, and she said she remembered I understood that this was new TO HER and made it something personal and special between the two of us. She remembers I took small steps with her and didn't push the envelope, and all of my talks with her was in the privacy of HER bedroom and boys was not allowed! (She has a brother) She started her period at 9. We had the body change talk when she was 7, and to help me along I purchased a book about what happens to her body as she gets older and left it on her bed before she came home from school. (check them out at any bookstore and find one you think will be comfortable for her to READ WITH YOU IN THE PRIVACY OF HER BEDROOM.) She said she felt connected with me when I would point out things on her that reminded me of me at her age. ("You know, my hair was just like yours when I was 10.") What really stood out for her was when she did start her period, we had a "coming out party" in her bedroom. I invited all of her female cousins, her best friend, my mom, sisters and her godmother. We sat on her bed and floor and had pizza and Kool-aid. We were practically sitting on top of each other. And everyone who had gone through had a story to tell about their "first time when I had my period." It was fun, it was funny, it was exciting, it was a happy time in her life that she never forgot. I can go on and on, but now her daughter is 10, haven't started her period yet but the body is changing, and what a wonderful thing to have the both of them invite me into her "moment." My granddaughter is excited about it because she just heard my daughter tell about "her time" and she wants one too! My daughter told me what made it easy for her was that I was the epitome of calm during this time, even when she was nervous and embarrassed. She said I made everything about her feel "normal." And the extra hugs and kissed didn't hurt either. How did I know what to do? I didn't. As far as feeling calm I was a bundled mess of nerves. I felt so awkward because now she could become pregnant, etc., etc. I just remembered what I felt like at that age and went from there. Your experience as a girl her age is just what you need to help her along the way. Who better to know that except her Mom? You've been where she's going, and all she needs is some extra TLC and a few "just us" moments thrown in for good measure. Take your time, follow her emotions (and yours), and use them to the best of her and your abilities to cope. It's not an easy time, but it's one of the best times to really connect with your daughter. Good luck and God bless you both.


This is excellent advise. What an awesome idea about the "coming out party" .  makes me wish i'd had one when i was that age, and that i had thought of something like that for my daughter.  Awesome Mom!!!

Rena' - posted on 05/25/2009

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Hello Elisa - Oh boy oh boy!! And just yesterday it was dolls. Hang on tight Mom, you're in for the ride of your life! She knows what she knows from friends, but who better to teach her but her Mom. My goodness! The changing body, everything is emotional or boring, the embarrassing mother - yeah we become an embarrassment too - all of it is gloriously wonderful and frightening at the same time. My daughter is 32 years old, and I asked her what the most important thing she remembered when we went through this stage, and she said she remembered I understood that this was new TO HER and made it something personal and special between the two of us. She remembers I took small steps with her and didn't push the envelope, and all of my talks with her was in the privacy of HER bedroom and boys was not allowed! (She has a brother) She started her period at 9. We had the body change talk when she was 7, and to help me along I purchased a book about what happens to her body as she gets older and left it on her bed before she came home from school. (check them out at any bookstore and find one you think will be comfortable for her to READ WITH YOU IN THE PRIVACY OF HER BEDROOM.) She said she felt connected with me when I would point out things on her that reminded me of me at her age. ("You know, my hair was just like yours when I was 10.") What really stood out for her was when she did start her period, we had a "coming out party" in her bedroom. I invited all of her female cousins, her best friend, my mom, sisters and her godmother. We sat on her bed and floor and had pizza and Kool-aid. We were practically sitting on top of each other. And everyone who had gone through had a story to tell about their "first time when I had my period." It was fun, it was funny, it was exciting, it was a happy time in her life that she never forgot. I can go on and on, but now her daughter is 10, haven't started her period yet but the body is changing, and what a wonderful thing to have the both of them invite me into her "moment." My granddaughter is excited about it because she just heard my daughter tell about "her time" and she wants one too! My daughter told me what made it easy for her was that I was the epitome of calm during this time, even when she was nervous and embarrassed. She said I made everything about her feel "normal." And the extra hugs and kissed didn't hurt either. How did I know what to do? I didn't. As far as feeling calm I was a bundled mess of nerves. I felt so awkward because now she could become pregnant, etc., etc. I just remembered what I felt like at that age and went from there. Your experience as a girl her age is just what you need to help her along the way. Who better to know that except her Mom? You've been where she's going, and all she needs is some extra TLC and a few "just us" moments thrown in for good measure. Take your time, follow her emotions (and yours), and use them to the best of her and your abilities to cope. It's not an easy time, but it's one of the best times to really connect with your daughter. Good luck and God bless you both.

[deleted account]

I am currently going to school to be an RN and before my human developement class I would have said ten is to young, but now I do not feel that way. At 10yrs old is when girls tend to start puberty, the period may not have arrived but the beginning stages of puberty have began. So you should definitely have the birds and bees talk with her but first find out what she knows and then go from there. they also say that you should not just talk about the bad parts of sex, you should discuss the good parts also. Such as...yes, it is enjoyable but the decision to have sex can have lasting permanent effects. Also you will want to eventually see what she knows about oral and other types of sex, because today many teens are doing this instead of vaginal intercourse and the teens do not consider this as sex. I know this all seems graphic but you do not want her to find out about this stuff through experimentation.

Jolanda - posted on 05/18/2009

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could be that's she is not comfortable. Start my asking her what she knows and listen. Ask her about her body and then go from there. DO NOT judge or make her feel weird in any way. Always be honest and explain about STD's. Good luck!

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Sharlene - posted on 11/11/2011

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I don't see a problem with telling achild about sex yet ,There curious and its only normal to be wondering about the the fact of life, My daughters 7 yrs old and she already has been asking Qstions and knowns about sex and loves watching SEX IN THE CITY believe it or not ,Good luck with the sex talk mom.cheers

Trina - posted on 11/09/2011

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Your Daughters friends have already told her what they know to talk about it with a parent is embarrassing but I would take her in her room and make her listen and explain some things because sometimes our children friends know stuff through what has happened to them and it is not your view point on what sex and adulthood are I am about to do the same thing with my ten year old daughter she has too many friends that are boys and is about to go in to the 6th grade

Bruna - posted on 06/01/2009

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If she keeps walking away, she clearly does not want to talk about it. When she is ready she WILL ask. Answer her question directly. Giving only the information she has asked for. When she wants to know more she will let you know. For now just let her know that she can ask you anything at anytime.

Rena' - posted on 05/28/2009

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Hello Everyone - I'm getting some great responses regarding my daughter and her coming out party when she started her period. It's a wonderful feeling that it's well-received. Actually, it was on a fluke that the party came to mind. Even though my daughter knew about the body changes and the menstruation cycle (when she first heard it she called it "having the administration"), it was nothing compared to it actually happening to her. My husband had taken a vacation day to fish and arrived home just before she and her brother got home from school. Then it happened and all hell broke loose. My tough-as-nails husband called me at work to tell me she locked herself in the bathroom and wouldn't come out, and over the phone I could hear her crying and screaming to the top of her lungs she wanted her Mama. My husband had no idea what was going on with her so he couldn't tell me which frightened the bejesus out of him and me, which in turn had me running out of the office screaming to my boss I gotta get home. After calming them both down and letting my husband know about "his baby-girl" she was so embarrassed to the point she didn't want to go to school, so I let her stay home the day after. I took off work and stayed with her. Then she didn't want to go on the second day, and I let her stay home on the second day and I stayed with her. When she wanted to stay home a third day I didn't let her. As gently as I could, I told her she had to get back into the swing of things (plus she was an honors student) and I had to get back to work. All she could say in her defense to stay home was "everybody is going to know." I took her to school the next morning and explained to her teacher what was going on, who gave me her assurance that she would keep her eyes on her in case she needed anything. At work, I tried to remember my first time (I was 13 and at my aunt's home). The one thing that stood out was feeling an awkward, self-conscious mess until my mother made a big deal out of me becoming "special." She didn't throw a party but she made me stand out in her eyes from my three younger sisters by participating in my new life for what seemed like months to me. She let my three older sisters in on it and they suddenly made me feel like one of them instead of "just another little sister" (7 girls and I was the middle. Talk about fighting a losing battle back then!!). Then it hit me. My daughter thinks this is embarrassing but I thought it was just a wonderful part of her growing up. I had to make her see that, just as my Mom and big sisters made me see it, but most importantly, feel it, so what better way than to bring on the girls, young and old who went through it in our family. It made her not feel like she was on the outside and this was only happening to her. And did she open up! Not only did she laugh and giggled and screamed at hearing the stories, she let on to how it really felt to her, and everyone in her room took turns to hug her and let her know this is something EVERY FEMALE goes through. Eventually as she got older we got around talking about boys, sex, pregnancy and STDs, but only after she was made to feel comfortable about her own body. Once that comfort zone took hold, then the rest was basically bumpy, but it wasn't the end of the world. Each little lady in her own way feels a certain way about herself, even if she has no clue what that is. We have to remember that we can't shove them into anything they're not ready to handle - even if it is natural, or we're so caught up in our own insecurities that we can't communicate to them what and how they should really feel. We shouldn't instantly elevate our little girls to our level, but we can gravitate down to theirs and grab ahold of their psyche, and gently bring them around to knowing what is right and wrong at this very awkward stage in their life. We are their first teacher, and their very first idea of what a female is and should be. If we don't panic and cause a mess, and we will along the way and pray that we keep it at a minimum, you'll be surprised at what we turn out to be - exactly what they've always wanted us to be - their role model. At least, that's how it turned out for me.

Joy - posted on 05/28/2009

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I would just let her know that your there for her when shes ready or if she has any questions?

Deidre - posted on 05/28/2009

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She may be just embarrased...I would make her stop and listen. I have 4 kids and have talked with 3 of them about it. Being a nurse, I tell it like it is. I figure why use silly names and make up stuff when they should know just exactly what it is. It's scary tho think about what goes on these days. Kids that are having sex keep getting younger and younger.

Rhonda - posted on 05/28/2009

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my daughter is 10.... and i thought id rather her hear it from me than someone else, she was coming home and asking questions about what the kids were saying at school so i had a chat with her....was the best thing id ever done becasue my mum never had that chat with me.... maybe she's embaressed about asking... i know my daughter was giggling through some of the things i was telling her.... but thats life.... good luck with it all

Michelle - posted on 05/28/2009

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Every child is curious about the opposite sex. They do hear things from sources you may not want them to, like friends, tv, books etc. Some of this is good some bad depending on the message sent. It could be too much info for the age, or the wrong message about sex altogether. I have a daughter who will be 18 on the 6th. I have been very upfront with her since she was old enough to talk. I always made sure to answer her questions age appropriately even if it made me squirm. lol. When she was that age she of course wanted to know where babies came from, I went to the library with her and found a couple of books with illistrations for her age to help me but you don't have to go into major detail about it. Although nowadays, kids seem to be ahead of themselves compared to when we were that age or even when Lizz was that age. My daughter-in-law (middle stepson's baby's mom) is one month younger than my Lizz, my grandson is 16 months and she apparently is pregnant again. She is the oldest of 3 girls, the 14yr old is having sex, at least for a couple of yrs now and the 12 yr old is now having sex as well. These are hopefully not your typical teen girls but these girls unfortunately have known nothing but welfare and children's aid all there lives which may be why they have the audacity to think this lifestyle at these ages is ok. If you think your daughter has friends who know "too much" or may be engaging in some form of sexual behaviour, then talk to her definately, it is never too early to prevent a problem later (not that my grandson is a problem but they are way too young for such responsibilities) You could start by scheduling a specific time for a talk., Don't let her walk away, it is her future, and ask her if she has questions about the subject. She might feel uncomfortable about talking about sex, OOH MOM!!! lol. Most kids don't like to think of their parents as sexual. GROSS! lol. Tell her you think that it is important that you answer any questions she may have and to correct any info she may think she has. you could ask her what she "knows" already and start the conversation that way. You should definately talk to her though, don't leave it until it's too late. You look way to young to be a grandma. tee hee. Seriously though, go to the library, do your own research and trust your heart, and if you have faith in God, pray on it as well. Oh and be prepared for questions that may make you squirm, mine recently asked me about BJ's and I really didn't want to tell her what they were but I didn't want her to be in the dark about such things either, had to tell her BRIEFLY, ugh. lol. Good luck and God Bless.

Pattie - posted on 05/26/2009

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Could be a little of both. I know my kids learned the basics at school. The very basics!!! I was a little upset to find out that the girls were taught only about the girls body changes. Nothing about intercourse, or what happens to the boys. Some of it was taught in the 5th grade, like their mestrual cycle, and they taught them some more in the 7th grade. Specifically what, I'm not sure, I never asked. I just answered any questions my daughter had. It actually happened out of the blue. We were sitting in a parking lot in the car waiting for someone. I think at 10, she at least needs to know about the dreaded monthly curse. My 13 yr. old got hers when she was 11!!! There's a good book too that might help, it's 'The What's Happening To My Body? Book For Girls'. Excellent book. It's actually for both parents and kids, you read part first and then it's her turn. Another thing, you have to talk real casual about it, like it's no big deal really. That way it's not awkward and she won't be afraid to ask you anything. Now that she is going on 14, and the other one 13, I hav etold them that 'the MINUTE they even THINK about having sex', they need to come to me. We need to get them on birth control and make sure they know the proper way to use a condom. The one that's still 12 acts like she isn't curious, but I know better(lol)....so, I make sure any conversations I have with the other one, are overheard by her, because the12 yr. old is the one that feels awkward about it all.

Helen - posted on 05/26/2009

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they are never to young to know the basics and you may find that her friends only know rumours and not the truth. Also please bear in mind that when my friend had her little one there was a girl who was due the same day who was celebrating her 12th birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

Rena' - posted on 05/25/2009

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Quoting Tiffany:

Im 17 and I can remember quite clearly having my mom approach me with the whole "sex ed" topic.. I too felt a little weird about the convo, but my mom did a good job of explaining what I needed to know, she explained about our bodies and how they work, and how babies are created and what not.. (what she didnt do was make the conversation 'weird or uncomfortable' for me by talking about some of the "casual sex" details) ..I think the sole reason for children acting "strange" about it is because they may have already been given some information on the playground from other kids, there is always going to be the odd kid out there who knows far more then they should for their age, or wrong information that they go around telling their classmates. Although we live in a society where sex is all over the place (on tv.. in music.. etc), I do think it is important for parents to set straight what is "right" and "wrong" about sex.. Good Luck!! :)



Well said from someone who's in on the 4-1-1!  Miss Tiffany, you sound like a daughter to be trusted because you speak with "common" sense!

Tiffany - posted on 05/25/2009

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Im 17 and I can remember quite clearly having my mom approach me with the whole "sex ed" topic.. I too felt a little weird about the convo, but my mom did a good job of explaining what I needed to know, she explained about our bodies and how they work, and how babies are created and what not.. (what she didnt do was make the conversation 'weird or uncomfortable' for me by talking about some of the "casual sex" details) ..I think the sole reason for children acting "strange" about it is because they may have already been given some information on the playground from other kids, there is always going to be the odd kid out there who knows far more then they should for their age, or wrong information that they go around telling their classmates. Although we live in a society where sex is all over the place (on tv.. in music.. etc), I do think it is important for parents to set straight what is "right" and "wrong" about sex.. Good Luck!! :)

Melissa - posted on 05/25/2009

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Quoting Rena':  What really stood out for her was when she did start her period, we had a "coming out party" in her bedroom. I invited all of her female cousins, her best friend, my mom, sisters and her godmother. We sat on her bed and floor and had pizza and Kool-aid. We were practically sitting on top of each other. And everyone who had gone through had a story to tell about their "first time when I had my period." It was fun, it was funny, it was exciting, it was a happy time in her life that she never forgot. I can go on and on, but now her daughter is 10, haven't started her period yet but the body is changing, and what a wonderful thing to have the both of them invite me into her "moment."


I really like this idea!  In other cultures this time in a young girl or boy's life is a time of celebration--their entrance into womanhood and not something dirty to be ashamed of.  My mother was so awkward in talking to me about periods and sex.  She thought she was doing well even trying since her mother never told her anything at all!  I hope to have a more open and honest dialouge with my daughter when the time comes.  I think 10 is the time to be discussing her period if you have not already, other changes in her body, basic sex education about where babies come from and what to do if a boy is inappropriate.  I volunteer at a girl's home for unwed mothers and we have had several 12 year olds who are pregnant.  If your daughter is acting strange about talking to you it may be that she is embarassed.  She may have heard some things she does not want to discuss with you.  In fact if she learned about sex the way I did--from other filthy mouthed teenage kids--she may even think it is something dirty and she will get in trouble for what she does know.  Make sure you talk in private and she knows that she can ask you anything and not get in trouble and that you won't tell her father or anyone else what she says.

Rebecca - posted on 05/25/2009

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I don't think you're ever to young to know the basics... I asked Mum where I came from at 4 and she gave it to me straight. Obviously not the whole shebang but a starter. This opened the door for me to be able to ask questions as I was growing up without being embarrassed. It also helped that Mum wasn't embarrassed.
If you think your opportunity has passed and your daughter feels funny talking to you, she's probably been told something by her friends that has made her embarrassed and the last people she needs to learn sex ed from is a bunch of tweens :) Send in a close trusted family friend or Aunt to do some damage control. Once she's got her head around it all she may feel better and start coming to you.

[deleted account]

Thank you, you've been all really helpful. It is a really hard task but I know it will be helpfull for her. The only sex ed I had was in school, because it was taboo in my house, and I dont want my kids to go threw that. thats what I'm here for to help them in life, and that I will do. Once a gain I thank you all

Veena - posted on 05/20/2009

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it does not necessarily mean that she knows about it it could be that she is not too comfortable to discuss the topic perhaps she thinks it is not nice. try to make her comfortable tell her that she is becoming an adult soon and there are changes taking place in her body that guys would find her very attractive and want to take her out so you need to make her aware of situations that can arise and hoew she should deale with it from ther jump right in

Tara - posted on 05/20/2009

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My husband had the first talk with our son at around this age. The last thing you want is for your daughter to learn from her friends. What my husband did was start off the conversation with asking him what did you know already, and was quite surprised by what he did know! He also got a good book from the library, they have lots of them for this. This way it made it more comfortable for my son because it wasn't so face to face. they looked through the book together. At this time he did just the basics, and later on went into more detail. Your daughter may be embarresed. or maybe she isn't quite ready. Just try to make it comfortable for her.

Toni - posted on 05/20/2009

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Hi
I recently had this chat with my daughter, she's 7. We haven't talked about STD's or about same sex couples as yet, I'll wait for her to bring that topic up and STD's I will raise when she's about 10/11. My daughter isn't remotely embarrassed. She's a little disgusted and makes the occasional comment such as " Daddy has sperm doesn't he mummy....and you have eggs!" I think if it's left too long then it does become embarrassing for them, they'll have heard all kinds of rumours and she's probably even having 'feelings' that she doesn't understand already.
I would definitely have a word with her, if anything I think it's a little too late for some details to be heard first from your own mouth, but you could allay some fears, rumours and also add some more pertinent information. There is also something to be said about talking about feelings and not just the act itself. STD's I would definitely also touch on, not in too much detail, but they definitely need a mention.
I would ask your daughter if you could have a chat with her when she's in her bedroom sometime. Tell her that you know it makes her uncomfortable but your concerned that she might have the wrong information because of school yard rumours and you want her to have the correct information. Be honest with her in WHY you want to have the chat in the first place. This may make her more acceptable and open to 'The chat'. Children aren't stupid and appreciate being treated like an adult, mention that you know she's grown up enough to listen and co operate with you, as you want to be a good parent to her and to be honest with her so that she can ask you any questions she might have.
Have you had the menstruation chat and all that that entails yet?

Suzanne - posted on 05/19/2009

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Hi!

She might just be uncomfortable talking about sex with a parent... But as long as she ask questions and is curious, you're the best person to give her the answer she needs... You can look for a sex education book for 10 years old girls that goes with your values and "forget" it in your house so she can have look at it by herself... it might open the communication....

Good luck to you! .... and don't give up!

Angela - posted on 05/19/2009

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The only thing I can think of is it's all in how you approach it. My mother used to sit me down and have intense conversations about what she thought I should and should not do. I never wanted to talk to her because I didn't feel comfortable. With my job (I take newborn pictures at a local hospital) I simply start while we're hanging out in the same room. I'll say, wow, we had a 12 year old give birth today. I'll say how it made me feel sad for her and ask how my kids felt about it. Stories in the news can be conversation openers too. I guess, in my opinion, trying to make it more of a conversation rather than a lecture seems to have helped me. Also, starting the conversation in the car while driving somewhere works, hehe, they can't walk away then!

Bernice - posted on 05/19/2009

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I agree with Jolanda ask and not be judgmental. Listen and don't criticize. MOST importantly don't get upset or yell.
Good Luck let me know how it works out I have to have that same conversation soon.

Wendy - posted on 05/19/2009

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Oprah just had this subject on her show not to long ago. I would check out her website and see if it is on there somewhere. She had the Berman doctor on their I think that was here name my mind is blank right now. But that might be helpful.

Shelagh - posted on 05/19/2009

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If she doesn't feel comfortable talking about it, you could get her a book (there are some around for her age) which she can look at in her own time. Give it to her in a matter-of-fact sort of way - 'I got you this, I thought you might be interested.' She certainly needs to know about periods - everything else can maybe wait a while.

JanetOrozco - posted on 05/19/2009

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My daughter is 9 and I had to have the complete talk with her last year. Imagine have to tell an 8 year old all this. She is very inquisitive so she asked questions but at first she was embarrassed. Unfortunately a boy had given her his concept on the whole thing and well let's just say I was fortunate that she was comfortable enough to come tell me, hence the early talk! I say if she walking away she probably has a clue but that clue is probably do wrong... educate her yourself... she'll thank you later. Take her somewhere where she can't get up and walk away if you have to. A drive through the park maybe... that's when I have some of the best talks with my daughter because she finds it easier because my eyes are "not looking right at her".

[deleted account]

My son is almost 14 and is learning Sex Education in school. He is in Junior High (7th), he did hear of some things when he was around 10, he would ask questions so I explained very simply in reply, didn't give things a "nickname" and pretty much, he accepted it as is. My suggestion is wait until she is ready to talk or if she begins showing an interest. My son and I talk about everything, so he just opens up. With girls I don't know.



Best of luck!

[deleted account]

She may be uncomfortable discussing such matters with you...but chances are she will be exposed to some kind of sex in the near future. Young teens commonly experiment with sex and there is a lot of misinformation out there that can leave your daughter permanently damaged. Try to go for a walk together or go someplace non-threatening where you can talk and just be honest with her. "This is what sex is all about and here are some of the consequences you could experience." I wouldn't count on her peers for good info...she's your daughter, keep her safe! (and just a personal note-I always talk about self-respect and knowing her partner really well as part of my sex counseling. Condoms don't protect our girls from shame and regret!)

Krista - posted on 05/18/2009

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I don't think 10 is too young at all. My mom felt uncomfortable, so she never gave me the "sex talk." I had a bit of (mis)information from friends, but most I learned in fifth grade sex ed class. I was mortified that I was hearing most of the information for the first time in school, and I really wished that I had learned it at home from my mom. Also, because I knew that my mom felt uncomfortable talking about sex, I felt REALLY uncomfortable asking her any questions. That's not how you want things to be with your daughter, so make the first move and initiate some conversation.

Emma - posted on 05/18/2009

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i wouldnt "sit her down n talk to her" thats too confrontational. just talk about it in general conversation with other family members maybe, while she is there n she might want to join in then. a talk is scary general talking is easy.
or maybe there is another adult you both trust that she might feel more comfortable talking with and you would be will to use them to start the conversation that you could then finish.
just ideas...when i was little sex n drugs wernt a taboo topic we were always able to talk about them n it wasnt a big thing.
hope i could help even if only a little

[deleted account]

She's most likely uncomfortable and maybe even embarrased. Her friends are going to tell her what they know (and hopefully it's all true facts). I would ask her if she has any questions and reassure her that she can talk to you about anything and she doesn't have to be afraid or embarrased. My mom never gave me the opportunity to walk away. She planned a big shopping trip for us in the next town (an hour away) and we talked while we were in the car.

Tracy - posted on 05/18/2009

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I agree with Jolanda. Last I heard, the experts say only offer up what the child is asking. Don't push her. I would ask her what her friends are talking about and if there is anything she would like to ask you. I would do your best to encourage her to try to talk though. It is around that time. Each child is different, but my daughter is nine and we've already had the whole talk....but my child has to know EVERYTHING lol.

Rolanda Jones - posted on 05/18/2009

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Quoting Rolanda Jones:

Totally uncomfortable conversation starter! BUT would you rather she find out from friends or from you? With my daughter I talked to her about it. Just be honest if she asks questions.You go Mom!


 

Rolanda Jones - posted on 05/18/2009

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Totally uncomfortable conversation starter! BUT would you rather she find out from friends or from you? With my daughter I talked to her about it. Just be honest if she asks questions.You go Mom!

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