Is my 5 year old son's behavior normal?

Jessica - posted on 06/28/2012 ( 47 moms have responded )

19

18

1

My son is 5 years old and about to start kindergarten in a couple of months. He's very hyper and impulsive. I can't ever get him to sit still and concentrate on anything. He's good when he's by himself. He'll listen and he's a little angel. But when he's with his siblings that are 2 and 3 he always misbehaves.

I believe he has ADHD as it runs in the family, but medication is not an option for us. As he's about to enter into kindergarten it has me nervous that he won't be good for his teachers. Right now my husband and I share a vehicle so it's not an option for me to run to school every week because he decides to act out.


He had gone to one year of Pre-k 3. But he skipped a year because we moved and I couldn't get him in in time. Although he was 2 years younger, he always had problems and got in trouble at school then and I'm concerned that that's an indication of what will happen now.


Has anyone experienced this with their own children? Did going to kindergarten and being in a structured environment with other kids their own age calm them down? Or did it not help? Thank you for any input.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Hillbillywoman - posted on 06/29/2012

19

2

2

I am Certified in Occupational Child Care & Development. For more than 31 years, I've done child day care in varous settings including day care centers, Sunday School, and babysitting in my home. I've also raised and homeschooled my own 3 children, and am now homeschooling my very active little grandson.

Your kid sounds normal to me! Don't medicate him!

He sounds like a kinetic learner. He is very hands-on, is he not? Very active kids, usually boys who cannot sit still for long, don't do well in classroom settings unless the lessons are kept short with lots of experimentation and art and other hands-on projects to do. Homeschooling may be the answer for you. http://homeschoolingwithconfidence.blogs...

Melodie - posted on 06/29/2012

47

22

0

My 8th child is 5. People have suggested he is hyper. But I am not so sure. I don't want to medicate if at all possible not to medicate. I also don't want a label on my son as it can become an excuse. I think the real problem is not enough physcial exercise. I am disabled and have more trouble getting around than with the others. I would suggest that you try upping the physical exercise he gets. Also, request a teacher that is stricter. He may do better when he is in a situation that he knows what to expect and things don't have boundries that bend. I notice the big difference in my son as the pre k year went on. He did better in a lot of ways. I would urge you to listen to everyone's advice, dump what you completely disagree with and then spend the next couple of years trying everything else. But always listen to your heart AND your son.

Lisa - posted on 07/01/2012

12

2

0

Oh and several people have mentioned looking into his diet, this is also a good idea. In particular red food dye is notorious for aggravating ADD/ADHD. Not sure why but it does. For my brother Kool Aid and red fruit punch was like giving him 10 espresso shots. To this day if he drinks it he will be bouncing off the walls!

Amie - posted on 07/01/2012

4

0

1

i know lots of people think it is just quackery and nonsense, but I have seen my niece go from severely acting out (being diagnosed ADHD) to being herself again just be changing her diet!! Things like artificial colors, artificial sweeteners and preservatives truly affect kids brain chemistry, so start by getting those things out of your house! Then try talking to his teacher from the BEGINNING... don't wait to see how it goes. Tell her he has some attention issues, and you want what is best for him, they are caring people who do want to help kids. Chances are he will be fine, but if he has issues at school forewarned is forearmed, and she (or maybe he-there are a few out there ) can take action without it becoming a big ordeal. Things like putting his chair in a less distracting spot, or giving him "secret" nonverbal clues when he is getting out of hand, can help keep behaviors from becoming class-stopping problems. Generally speaking though, kids are helped considerably just by being in a structured environment where they see other kids modeling cooperation and harmony. I wish you well and am so happy to hear you say you will not medicate your little man!

Donna - posted on 06/30/2012

2

2

0

I started to read the posts related to this, but was getting extremely upset.......I am a mother of 4 boys and 1 girl, and I HATE that my children are on medication, but everyone needs to think about the children!!!!!!! First, you definitely need to have your son evaluated for ADD/ADHD, and understand that there are remedies that do not include medication, but sometimes, medication is the only thing that can help. I think what everyone is forgetting is as hard as it is for us, as parents, imagine how hard it is for the children who are burdened with ADD/ADHD. It is a chemical imbalance that they have no control over. They usually don't understand what is going on and it is just as hard for them to TRY to settle down as it is for us to try to get them to be able to sit still. PLEASE don't make your children suffer with something that can be put under control and help them learn easier. Medication is not always the answer, sometimes they can be helped with diet, but just think about how hard it is for the children.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

47 Comments

View replies by

J - posted on 01/18/2014

1

0

0

Your children, as in more than one? Check into the side effects, one possibility is stunted growth. Also, evaluate what you are feeding them, structure daily activities, and get off of this adh....bandwagon. People are not supposed to fit into a mold. Physical activity is healthy. Children should be outside running and playing not inside in a guarded environment. I would be bouncing off the walls too! Same for schools, get involved and encourage physical activity and healthy food programs. Yes, think of the children-

C - posted on 10/03/2013

1

0

0

yes my son is doing this now, and its frustarting. he starts karate today to try and understand discipline and rules.

Kalynn - posted on 06/04/2013

1

0

0

I have 3 kids, 2 girls (10 and 12), and 1 boy who's 8. I have about the same problem with my son. It started back in day care when he was 4. I was attending beauty school, and would leave him at daycare while I went to school 8 hrs every week day. About a month or 2 after enrolling, I was getting daily phone calls to come and pick him up! The daycare tried workin with me the best they could, but they gotta draw the line somewhere, and throwing chairs at teachers, toys at other kids, screaming uncontrollably, and swearing was it. 2 wks of this, they expelled him. After getting kicked out of another daycare, I ended up having to have his dad take him for my school days. I thought for sure it would b a different story 1ce he started big boy school with his sisters, and it did for the 1st mo or 2. Wasn't long b4 he was kicked off the bus, then suspended from school. He's now in 2nd grade, and has been suspended already 3 times this yr, and kicked off the bus 4 times (the 4th time is for the rear of the yr). He does pretty good most the time when it's just him too... But around his sisters or any other kids he's a monster! He spends most of his days screaming and threatening everybody, and very rarely play well with others... He does have epilepsy and was diagnosed ADHD last yr, and the Ritalin has helped take the edge off his temper, but I fear that as he gets older and stronger its only gonna get worse. I wish I had some advice or great words of wisdom for u:( but instead just know that I feel your pain, and if I do come across anything that helps ill let u know. Hoping of course that u will do the same.

Latoyia - posted on 01/11/2013

1

0

0

Heather Coffin you know darn well you know how to spell "marijuana" girl!.... Lolz sorry I had to say what everyone else was thinking......

Sara - posted on 07/06/2012

6

0

0

As a teacher, I often see that children act much different for their parents than they do for their teachers. This is not always the case, but usually it is. I have seen children who are completely "out of control" (according to the parents) at home who behave like angels in school.
My own son is a lot like yours: He's very well behaved when he's by himself. But when he's with his cousins, he is wild and constantly in trouble (he's an only child, but his cousins live right next door to us), but at school with 17 other children, he's well behaved, follows directions and very rarely gets into trouble, even at recess with everyone out playing. Also when he was in a child development play group when he was 2 years younger, he was also in trouble a lot then, he liked to climb on other kids and knock them over.
So you never know, he may do fine, with no problems at all. I can tell you this though, young children are incredibly perceptive and if you are stressed and worried about it, he will pick up on that and feel that he should be stressed and worried too, as a result he may act out as a way of dealing with his own emotions.

Jessica - posted on 07/06/2012

19

18

1

It may not be an issue. My main concern is if kids act like this normally. He is starting to have more days where he is calm and helpful. I had been looking into trying to take out of his diet anything with Red dye 40 because it makes children hyper. It may be helping. Also, I have 2 younger children and with all of them sometimes it's harder to take them outside to play. Especially when it's been so hot lately. And holding him back isn't really an option. It wouldn't make sense for us because he turns six in January and by Tennessee's law he is requiredto attend at 6. In order to get into first grade he needs to have completed Kindergarten. So I guess what we'll do is watch his diet and see what the teacher says when he starts school.

Molly - posted on 07/03/2012

38

1

0

How is his sleep? Does he snore? Some kids have symptoms that mimic ADHD when they actually have sleep apnea. Maybe ask his doc if you can get a sleep study?

Melodie - posted on 07/02/2012

47

22

0

Lisa I am glad you mentioned about adults with ADHD, my nephew has it and is almost 30. He avoids crowds unless he can get away for breaks.

I know everyone is passionate about this issue because it deals with our babies. I am on child 8 and I am finding lots of helpful info. I still think preparing for new situations and what will happen, listening to what your child has to say (they understand more that we realized) and listening to your own heart are best. These are all great ideas and info, but every child is different! I hope the info here helps many people and gives them ideas on how to help their own children.

Abigail - posted on 07/02/2012

11

17

0

If you suspect ADHD I would strongly recommend looking into the Feingold diet. Read the artical "why can't my child behave" on the feingold website. You will feel like you are reading abotu your child!!!! Changing my son's diet, and totally eliminating all petroleum based food additives (food coloring, preservatives) helped in stay off meds and have a great year in kindergarten as well as at home. we had a "trial" vacation last weekend and it went great- it was amazing the change in him.
Being in a structured environment and away from siblings was also great for my son, having a teacher with strict limits, and consistency was very helpful.

Stephanie - posted on 07/02/2012

30

2

1

My son was and is a calm child but he wasn't ready to sit still and the structure was new to him. Fortunately, he was born late in the year so he was older when he started school. I think it takes boys longer to be ready for that, especially if they haven't been to preschool or daycare. I wouldn't automatically assume ADHD because a kid can't sit still. Some kids are just very energetic but settle down when they have a strict environment.

Mary - posted on 07/02/2012

7

9

0

Yes, medication sometimes is the only solution, but it should definitely be the last resort. Our 5 year old boy can be difficult, but we have found that he processes sugars very quickly with a high metabolism, and red food dye and some preprocessed foods aggravate things. We have introduced him to controlled situations where he needs to learn to deal with other kids and unexpected situations, to learn to focus and pay attention. I am homeschooling him and as he gets older and learns more he handles situations much better. He reads now and does well with learning. Sometimes it can be diet and exposure to structure for some kids that is the problem.

Lika - posted on 07/02/2012

159

19

0

Well, you know, he may cause trouble when around younger siblings because they get more attention, or that they are younger and sillier. Being with peers may help him see what kids his age are supposed to act like. When the open house comes up, please talk to the teacher 1 on 1. There may be options that if he gets too rambunctious, that he can go jump on a trampoline fir 10 minutes to get rid of extra energy.

My 12 year old was diagnosed with borderline ADD in half of the categories. But, because it's not full board, nor is it definitely in half, medication wasn't an option for us either. We gradually worked on him with focusing, and found that being creative about teaching him made a huge difference. Sometimes it's just that their learning style is different.

Lika - posted on 07/02/2012

159

19

0

Well, you know, he may cause trouble when around younger siblings because they get more attention, or that they are younger and sillier. Being with peers may help him see what kids his age are supposed to act like. When the open house comes up, please talk to the teacher 1 on 1. There may be options that if he gets too rambunctious, that he can go jump on a trampoline fir 10 minutes to get rid of extra energy.

My 12 year old was diagnosed with borderline ADD in half of the categories. But, because it's not full board, nor is it definitely in half, medication wasn't an option for us either. We gradually worked on him with focusing, and found that being creative about teaching him made a huge difference. Sometimes it's just that their learning style is different.

Gaynor-Marie - posted on 07/01/2012

42

0

0

If you are in Many states in the u.s look for a montisori school or really consider home schooling.
I have 6 children my first 3 started school in Australia, where they made a real effort to make starting school fun and had really age appropriate expectations. My 4 child started school in Germany again fun flexible reasonable expectations. In Germany they also do a health and development assessment before they start. My 5 child started school in California the behavioural and academic expectations seemed unreasonable to me especially for boys their was very little flexibility. I took her out and homeschooled her and told my husband that our 6 child a son would not go to school in California till high school that I would homeschool him that it was not a healthy environment for a boy. A number of friends also took their sons out of school.
So my two cents worth find a good school or homeschool or he will quickly come to hate school.

Ashley - posted on 07/01/2012

149

22

4

Before my son started school I knew he was ADHD, but his dr wouldnt test him til he was in school. So he went to school for three months and it was complete hell..I was in there three times a week trying to get the teachers to calm down. He got tested n go figure he was positive for ADHD. Im a STRONG believer in meds and they are a fricken life saver. As soon as he started meds he was a perfect angel pretty much. Two years later hes starting 2nd grade in the fall and he is above most of his class in reading which before meds wasnt a possibility. If you believe he has it get him tested. Good luck cuz if he does have it it is gunna be a long road to learning to get a grip on getting it under control.

Lisa - posted on 07/01/2012

12

2

0

I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 5, and unlike what Keri Rozansky suggest it most certainly was not because I was hyper and no one wanted to deal with me. In fact before my diagnosis my mother thought I was the "normal" of her three kids because my brother was super hyper (he is also ADHD) and compared to us my sister seemed almost lethargic (she is ADD). We all had our difficulties and my parents went out of their way to help us and work with us. We were on medication during school hours only because my mother felt it would be better in the long run. I respect her choice because she taught us that although our brain chemistry makes us different we are ultimately responsible for how we behave.
That being said I still have ADHD, some people seem to grow out of it others do not. I just completed law school and for most of the time I was in school I used medication to help improve my attention span. I can go with out it but I find, helpful in certain situations.
I would advise you to try and observe your son closely in a variety of settings, look for things that trigger him acting out. Is he in an excessively noisy room, or one with a lot of extraneous activity going on while he's being asked to focus on something else...etc... When I was younger I often misbehaved or acted up in these types of situations in part because I was distracted and unable to focus and in part because these situations can be mentally overwhelming and actually cause physical pain so I lashed out. Even now I avoid parties, clubs, and anywhere where lots of people will be talking at once because I can't focus and will get headaches and depending on the chaos level physically ill.

Keri - posted on 07/01/2012

363

40

0

My son is like yours - although he doesn't have any younger (or older) siblings. We have curriculum books (bought at Sam's Club) that we are working in to get him used to school. I started out with 30 minutes a day. We set the kitchen timer and get as far as we can in the book before it beeps. I've been ramping it up by 5 minute incraments and we're up to 40 minutes now. He went to daycare/preschool on and off since he was 3, and his teachers there claim he is great, so I wouldn't be too worried about how he'll be in school. In my opinion, ADHD is just an excuse for a hyper child that no one wants to deal with. Kids with "ADHD" and "ADD" really only need focus and stimulation. My husband supposedly has ADHD and he is one of the most focused, intelligent and successful people I know. My son has a friend who's a little over a year older than my son. He went to the same preschool/daycare and left for kindergarten before my son got there. We talked to his parents, who had agreed to put him in a higher class because of how he was exceling in the class with kids his age. When he went to the class with the older kids, he started acting up and they had to meet with the teacher a few times. He is young in elementary school, as he started kindergarten just 5 days after turning 5 years old. He still has issues, but I think being around the older kids when he was younger has changed his behavior overall. My son will turn 6 in kindergarten, since his birthday's in December and I'm told kids who go to school a little later tend to thrive better and are more focused and teachers have the ability to get and keep their attention better. I hope my ranting helps.

Brandy - posted on 07/01/2012

1

14

0

Jessica,
If you are concerned about your child having ADHD, have you considered talking to your pediatrician about diet?

Fawzia - posted on 07/01/2012

13

4

0

Hello Jessica,
My son/nephew has ADHD and he goes for therapy at the Mental Health Team and provided by the Government and it's free some places you pay private..

Did you know if any child has a "Disability" that you can apply for DISABILITY TAX CREDIT and the Government will "back pay you" and it will help the family financially ..

If you are in Vancouver let me know i will give you the names of my contacts.

You will be so surprised when kids, goes to school they behave and when at home let them play outside and by the time they go to bed they are so tired ...

Do take care and enjoy your child...

Melodie - posted on 07/01/2012

47

22

0

Ashley I agree about emailing the teacher. It will also help the teacher have more patience with your child as they feel they have support.

If you put your child on meds as a las resort and it is for the best for them, don't feel guilty. And always always always listen to what your child has to say, they know better than anyone how they are feeling!

Ashley - posted on 07/01/2012

91

0

1

If you have a good teacher - the structure may help out quite a bit. However, I wouldn't compare getting in trouble with siblings to a class. I would make it clear what is expected of him --- don't tell him what he did wrong, but what your expectations are for when he is at school.

If he is getting into trouble, maybe you need to create a reward system for when he is good. This also means constant contact with his teachers. Sometimes email is the best way and a quick response. Ensure your teacher is on board with any "program" you create with him and maybe ask their advice, this won't be the first time they have dealt with it. If you get an uncooperative teacher, I may ask to switch.

Bronwyn - posted on 07/01/2012

5

24

0

Donna and April, I hope I didn't sound anti-medication in my post, in fact, if it is a diagnosed condition and recommended by the dr, then I fully support any parents decision to go down that path as it will give the child a far easier ride. In this case, however, I couldn't see that this was a recommended path or that this child was as yet diagnosed, so I have tried to help this Mum see some other ways of looking at the behaviour.
Being a parent is never easy, and I think we all pass judgement on each other way too quickly. You guys have done absolutely what is the best for your children at this time, and I hope that you don't feel pressured by others to change/question that more than is necessary.

April - posted on 06/30/2012

46

50

0

Thank you for posting, Donna. As a Mom that recently had to medicate her son for ADHD, this was a breath of fresh air. I commented several posts back and haven't seen any positive posts since. Just posts to try and make us feel bad for trying to help our kids the best way we can.

Mary - posted on 06/30/2012

7

9

0

Have you considered homeschooling for kindergarten? Some kids do better if they wait another year to go to school, to have time develop better social skills. Sometimes that's all it is. In that extra year, you can expose him to situations where he has to play nicely with other kids-a library reading group, clubs, friends with kids, etc. Some kids just need that little extra help and are not ready for kindergarten at the same time. Try school next year.

Rachel - posted on 06/30/2012

204

0

4

Please try diet. Is your home low fat? So many homes are, and kids need a ton of good fats for brain function. If you do dairy, go to full fat. If you don't (some find its digestion inflammatory to behavior) start with things like avocado, coconut milks and oils, olive oil (that you haven't fried - most people don't know olive oil's health benefits break down in heat) and supplements like omega 3 and krill oil. And remove refined foods. And t.v
Second, a group of kids is only as mature as their least mature member. If your son has younger siblings, he is going to revert in maturity when around them. Humans are very impressionable.

Jolene - posted on 06/30/2012

27

18

0

I agree with the others to sit back and give it time. He is too little right now to tell one way or the other. I work in public education and many kids blossom if given enough time and support. If he turns out he does have ADHD please keep medication as a last resort. I know many parents of ADHD kids who use diet and structure (including plenty of play and down time) VERY successfully. There are certain foods that seem to aggravate it and minimizing these helps ALOT! Good luck and be patient! Enjoy your little guy.

Shannon - posted on 06/30/2012

2

14

0

As an educator, I can say that physiological hyperactivity is not easily managed in a classroom of many students. Classroom management only goes so far, and there may need to be intervention at home to reduce the physiological traits of ADHD. Many parents are reluctant to medicate their children, but it can really make a world of difference, with little or no adverse effects. If you are vehemently opposed to medication, I urge you to look into dietary modifications, such as gluten-free or no artificial colors/flavors. Try these on trial basis to see what effect they may have. Removing artificial additives has made a huge difference for several friends' children.

Bronwyn - posted on 06/30/2012

5

24

0

I'm an early childhood educator, and would suggest that his behaviour is very normal. Alot of kids will behave beautifully on their own, but misbehave when others are around. Yes, it is about attention, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it is a disorder. He may need some extra help, but there are alot of lessons for him to learn about sharing space and people. He may need some extra, specific responsibilities when his siblings are around, as sometimes we as parents can be hardest on our eldest, so they are constantly being told 'no' (particularly when the others are around) and they will lash out at this. Perhaps finding him something he can do to help?
To add to this, pre-k (which I assume would be the same as a pre-school in Australia) shouldn't be 'getting him in trouble'. Setting boundaries, yes, but not getting in trouble. Most interventions in early childhood are able to take place in a calm and positive fashion, and are most effective at this time.
Hope that is of some help!

Kerry - posted on 06/30/2012

7

14

0

I have a stepson who is now 21, but had and still has these same issues. My husband and his ex said the same thing, medication is not an option, but now, years later wish they would have did things differently. It didnt take Charlie, my stepson, long in school before he became known as a bad kid by the other students, as this is still the issue now after getting out of school, but it is worse than having a bad reputation. He did not learn because he couldnt. He cannot spell or read very well and he can only do simple math and not very well. By the second grade his folder was huge from getting into trouble and when they had to move his desk away from the other students, to try and help the other students learn, he became a joke to his friends. He was and is obnoxious and his reputation has preceded him. The girls dont want to date and uneducated, good for nothing, talked about negatively, out of control man. He cant keep a job and cant understand what is wrong with himself. My husband also has ADHD, so it wasnt so far fetched when Charlie had it. I do not know their reasoning for not medicating him, but now they wish that they had. Charlie's success rate may have been better in learning and socializing. He may have had a chance to enrich his community instead of having his neighbors try to avoid him. We are not sure what his future holds, and he has already attempted college and failed miserably and refuses to go back. I have to agree with him as it is a huge waste of money, but we are faced with what his future will be like as an almost illiterate person. My sister is a special education teacher of over 20 years and she sees these situations daily and also has a son with ADHD. She tried everything, and then gave her son the medicine. It was a great decision for my nephew and he is very productive and popular boy. I just think you need to study and find a great dr and do right by your child. They dont want to be this way, and they are highly intelligent, but cannot think clearly without meds. I hope my testimony is biased enough to help you do the right thing for your child. It is our responsibility to raise happy healthy adults.

Jackie - posted on 06/29/2012

5

11

0

Structure may help but you will definitely need to see if you can maybe meet with his teacher before hand so she know what to expect and maybe get a feel for how she handles behavior problems. Teachers do better if they know the parents are concerned. It may even be a good idea to have your son meet with her also so that he knows you and his teacher will partnering to keep his behavior in check. Another thing to consider is the type of foods your son is eating. Explore the web for studies on links between ADHD and processed foods. Good luck!

Christy - posted on 06/29/2012

25

37

0

I agree with taking a closer look at his diet and how much time he gets to get out those wiggles. My son acts like an angel (as much as a 7 year old boy can) when we cut out processed foods and is even better when he get in a good amount of time to run around. When he goes over my family’s house and they give him soda, fruit snacks, or other processed foods I know that we will be in for it when he comes home. He gets very cranky and even hits his sister and you can forget about him listening. Within a day of him not eating junk he is back to my sweet little boy again. We also try to make time to be active every day. Sometimes it may not be possible to go outside but even then we will have a competition like who can do more sit ups, pushups and jumping jacks, or even popping in an old kick boxing video. You can also find some great programs through the Y for him to join. Hopefully you will also have an understanding teacher. Most kindergarten teachers don't expect much when the children first come in. You may even see him start behaving better when he sees how the other kids act. I know that there are some cases where medication is the only option but I think that trying other things first is SO important as it seems that meds are over prescribed nowadays. Be patient and don’t be afraid to think outside of the box and I am sure he will do great!

Jenny - posted on 06/29/2012

2

10

0

I would recommend on seeing how he does with Kindergarten. My 9 year old son was kicked out of 3 day cares because of his behavior before he ever started Kindergarten. I could not get hm assessed for ADHD even though I knew deep down he had it. He was very active and would go from one thing to the next because nothing seemed to keep his attention. He seemed to be fine by himself but when he was in daycare he would act out. Kindergarten he did okay, but I did have him assessed. His attention span was short but he did not act out towards his teacher like he did in day care. The psychologist who assessed him determined that he had ODD. She would not diagnose him with ADHD based off the teacher's comments on the assessment. By the time first grade rolled around we were already in therapy to learn how to deal with the ODD. But his behavior just got worse. He was acting out and literally destroying his classroom and his teacher was scared of hm. We got together with the staff at his school and we put things into effect to try to help him. We also moved him to another classroom. Things got a little better, but after speaking with his therapist about everything that was happening, she asked a doctor on their staff to read over his file. After looking at the assessment done for ADHD and reading the findings as well as all the notes his therapist put in his file, the doctor determined that he DID in fact have ADHD & ODD. I did not want to medicate my son because of all the stories I have heard. But it was highly recommended in our situation. Honestly I am glad that I did agree to do it. Halfway through 1st grade he was on one medication and it helped him. By the 2nd grade it was determined the medication needed to be changed and he also needed medication for his impulisive behavior. He has been on the same medication for the last 2 years. It really helps him. Fortunately he sees his doctor every 3 months to see how he is doing. You can tell when he does not take the medications....HUGE DIFFERENCE. For 3rd grade I withderw him from his school and decided to homeschool him. Even with the medication he was still acting out and the school refused to put an IEP into place to help. By this point I was aggravated with the school system and their lack of concern.

Every child is different and every parent or set of parenst are also going to handle things diferently. I would recommend seeing how your son does in kindergaren. My son did okay. The next 2 grade levels were our trying times. I do not regret home schooling him. He has grown so much as an individual as well as academically. You have many choices to consider. I would start with getting support for both you and your son through counseling to learn how to deal and approach things differently. Talk to your pediatrican about getting him assessed half way through the school year. Some kids do well with learning new ways to deal with what is distracting them, making them mad, or even try to control impulsive behavior. Others may need the medication along with the therapy.

I wish you good luck. I know that it is not an easy road to go down. Neither are the decisions that need to be made. Just let your husband know that the medications for ADHD have come a long way since he was younger.

Melodie - posted on 06/29/2012

47

22

0

I feel so stupid. With each child I forget as much as I learned. LOL My 5 year old and I are having extended time alone together. The siblings went in one direction and dad is going in another. He loves knowing things and teaching me, he gets so upset when he does something wrong, he wants to try what I do (I'm doing a needle work case), The point I am trying to make is most of his 'melt downs' are due to him feeling he is not 'good enough'. He wants to be included, to be part of what is going on around him and to feel important. Just like all of us! For some reason, this age is when they realize more fully that important things go on around them. They want to be part of it and when they can't or don't know how, it bothers them. Some kids deal with it better than others. Just a thought. I need to remember to listen to what he says and what he doesn't say too.

April - posted on 06/29/2012

46

50

0

I have a son that just left kindergarten. We started the "assesment" process a month before he started. I told the Dr upfront that meds were an ABSOLUTE last resort. We started with a psycologist for evaluation. He started by meeting with me and gave me a novel to fill out and another novel for his teacher. We went back in once those were filled out and he "watched" my son play and interact with my youngest son. It wasn't too long after that my ds literally bounced off the wall. :-O I was horrified. The Dr took it in stride like it was an every day occurence. He was then diagnosed with ADHD and we began therapy. When he first started school, he seemed to calm a little for the teacher then explode when home. After the first quarter his entire attitude just went amok. The teacher began having more trouble getting him to pay attention and not just take off or interrupt the person talking. The therapy helped some but not completely. He ended up on the lowest dose possible of meds by February or March. We are monitoring him closely and he is now acting like a typical 6 year old. Still acts up but not quite as impulsive and a bit easier to manage. There are many new medications now that you can find one that works for your child. His doesn't seem to make him "loopy" or anything of that nature. The Dr wants to see him just before school starts again to assess his dosage. ADHD can really affect his schoolwork. In our school, his teacher told me that 1st grade will be a challenge for him if we didn't get control of it now. Therapy does work for some but not all. I know it's scary to think about giving your child medication but it is sometimes neccesary. Good luck to you as you embark down this scary and controversial path. I've been there and it does get better!! Prayers for you and your son.

Amanda - posted on 06/29/2012

2

22

0

In order to be able to answer your question responsibly I need more information than him being naughty. What exactly is he doing that is getting him in trouble? More details please

Sarah - posted on 06/29/2012

1

0

0

I have four boys and I also would never medicate a child. Have you thought about holding him out a year. Some boys just aren't ready to sit by age 5. I had two like that.

Jenn - posted on 06/29/2012

675

1

47

I agree. Two children in my Child's 1st grade were on some form of med by the end of school year. Meds do tend to be over prescribed and many kids are misdiagnosed to begin with. Tweaking meds or even diet can often help. Many kids show adverse behavior due to what they are ingesting, like red dyes in food. Perhaps your pediatrician can help evaluate diet and possible changes there first.

Heather - posted on 06/29/2012

5

0

0

Med's. Some kids really need it; some don't. Today the drugs don't have any form of Mariwana(? spelling!). All depends on the treatment plan. I don't have my son on it yet. but it has come down to the affects of ADHD and the ODD with depression...hurting himself or others. We are working with our Peditrican. You are right..they don't start before Kindergarten because they need to learn certian skill before doing testing. Kindergarden teaches them that skill that they need.

It's all try and error with or with out meds. But you have time. Pinicale point will be in Grade 3.

Jessica - posted on 06/29/2012

19

18

1

It makes me feel better that kindergarten does help some kids. As far as the doctor, they won't do anything until he goes to school. I've been asking the doctor since he was 2, but they kept saying they can't diagnose children that young because 2,3,4 year olds typically have short attention spans and are hyper anyways. We need to wait for him to start Kindergarten. And it would be nice to know, yes. But we don't want to have to put him on meds. I've seen how they change a childs personality and would prefer not to. I would if I had to but my husband is dead-set against it as he was on several when he was younger and didn't like how they made him feel.

Heather - posted on 06/29/2012

5

0

0

my son had no problems with Kinder but in Grade 1 and 3 he did. He reflected of the Teacher. Why I say that is his grade 2 teacher had mono tone structure with organization. He is now going into grade 4. We have spent the last year(gr.3) working with resource with in the school system to get him help as he displayed all categories of ADHD, ODD. We got him assessed. He now code with in the school system to get additional help. Why? with out the assessment, he would be with out assistance in class. getting coded(assessed) is for understanding where he was at for behavior, acdemics, disorders. From there we have a plan and assistance in place. for advice. I would get this rolling for Kindergarden as they pursh it faster then later in grades. there seems to be a gap once above grade 1.
you can use food and Tea to calm him. also there is excerises he can do for helping his learning.

Look up resources for ADHD websites for tips.

Jenn - posted on 06/29/2012

675

1

47

Totally agree with Katherine. I saw that Kinder helped a lot of kids, especially those not used to a structured school environment. And I also agree that after first grade, most of the kids who struggled knew and accepted, even valued, the school's schedule and rules. Can you get assistance with meds for your child? They can really help the child calm down enough to concentrate and learn.

Katherine - posted on 06/28/2012

65,420

232

4849

For my daughter going to kindergarten helped a lot. She goes to a charter school and they are pretty strict. She would come home though and completely melt down. It was a lot of work for her to maintain. After first grade though she did a lot better. If you think your son has ADHD then take him to the doctor's and have him evaluated so he can get help in the classroom.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms