Is my daughter hitting puberty?

[deleted account] ( 31 moms have responded )

How do i know when to start my daughter in a training bra? She is 8. I have noticed that she is starting to get little bumps but I really think it is because she has been putting on some weight lately, not because she is starting to develop. However, two of my other friends have noticed and told me I should start making her wear a training bra. I told them I don't think it's her breasts developing but just a little weight gain. They both told me that girls tend to put on weight when they are starting puberty. I don't want to make her grow up too fast and I don't want her to get teased because she is wearing a bra already! What should I do!

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Helen - posted on 04/14/2012

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i started my period at 9 and was unaware of anythink i thought i was dying, i put on weight about a year before and had small bumps i would talk to your girl about the changes that will happen and ask her if she wants to try on some t-bras or s-bras and if she wants to have one let her i would not worry about her friends some of them may be wearing them already :)

JuLeah - posted on 06/18/2010

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A lot of 8 year olds wear a bra. Kids are hitting puberty years faster then in prior generations.
The company's that produce meat and dairy products add growth hormones to the animals diet and we in turn feed it to our kids.
I've seen many 8 year olds in need of a bra.
Ask her what she wants. She will know if her friends are wearing a bra and if she will get teased, but under most clothes, who would notice?
Get her into a sport, if she doesn't already play. Swimming, soccer .... something year round so she stays fit. The fitness she has now will impact her for the rest of her life. Kids add height prior to puberty, and bone mass after. If she is not getting the exercise and nutrition she needs (enough calcium) she will never add the bone mass her body needs and her bones will, as an adult, be at 80 or 90% strength ..... she needs the 'B' complex vits to regulate her hormones .... omega 3 and 6 for brain development and growth ... I am sure you all ready know all of this stuff, I don't mean to offend.

Elaine - posted on 04/14/2012

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About the shaving thing, I remember my mom bought me an electric razor when I first wanted to shave my legs. It was perfect. Quick and easy to use. Not as smooth a shave as a regular razor, but as a kid it didn't matter to me.

[deleted account]

I think alot of girls start wearing training bras around 8. I would base it on whether you can see enough that it could be offensive to someone, or draw attention to her you don't want. If she still looks modest and you don't want her to grow up too fast, go with your gut, but just hearsay, since my kids aren't school aged yet, By 8, they know alot about things already, and alot of the young girls I know are starting their periods by 11. If your friends are noticing it, it probably is needed, cause you are the mom, you will always look at her as younger than she is, and that things aren't really what they are, cause you don't want her to grow up too fast. lol. My guess is, she is probably starting to develop. I did at that age.

Taneia - posted on 06/22/2010

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hi you have to remeber that breasts are nuthing but fat anyway. so if you see and other ppl see yes get her a training bra ask her if she whats one dont you decide for her when she can or cant not wear bras and you might be surprised what she says she might be nerves to ask you to get her one.

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Tulip - posted on 04/12/2012

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Gawd! Kids these days! I only started wearing a training bra wen I were 11 and then my boob fitted in my palm.

Julie - posted on 06/23/2010

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I think you have gotten some really good ideas concerning the bra situation. So I wont address that question, but I just have to throw my two cents worth in with the other questions. My youngest child was my only girl so she is a big experiment with me and she is 14 yrs old. She started her cycle when she was 9 and I reluctantly talked to her about her cycle in very generic terms. I also discussed this with my gynecologist as well to get his opinion about the topic. With the way our food is being prepared and grown there are a lot of chemicals that is making our children mature lots faster than we ever did as children. As for the shaving, I did not allow my daughter to begin shaving until a couple of yrs ago. She also had slightly darker hair on her legs and continued to ask me about wanting to shave. I just didnt think it was a good thing to begin until she had enough under arm hair to begin shaving. Also, I wanted to think about the safety issue of a younger child dealing with something that cuts and the correct way of doing things. All I could think of was the times I actually cut myself as a younger teen shaving or just experimenting with my moms razor that was left out in the bathroom, as all little children will do. Now that my daughter is shaving, we now disagree as to how far up the legs she needs to shave! lol Hope some of my suggestions helps with your decisions. :)

Kelli - posted on 06/22/2010

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I had to give my 12yo daughter a razor for her underarms. She is a dancer and wears leos all the time, so I asked her if she was wondering about the scant, but long, hairs. She said she was, and was "going to ask" about it, but never did. I showed her how to shave on my forearm hairs with soap and water and a disposable razor. She was happy about her new found skill and freedom from hair. She still doesn't shave her legs cuz it's not yet necessary. I will tell her to go for it when she decides it's a social problem. Obviously, it's not a personal problem...

Tracy - posted on 06/22/2010

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I am glad someone asked this question...My daughter is 10. She has been wearing a sports bra for a few months now because she is starting to develop "bumps". Since she is thin they are very noticeable. She has classmates/friends also wearing them so she is not uncomfortable. NOW shaving legs...my daughter does notice the hair on her legs and has mentioned that a few of her friends shave already, but she has not directly asked if she can yet. I guess I will wait till she wants too. No sense in rushing her to grow up. I think if she is comfortable with her body, then I should allow her to decide when is the right time. I know her menstrual cycle will be approaching soon. She is already very aware of what a period is and how to "handle" it when it does. She has several classmates who started their periods in the past year and a few were not ready for them mentally...I wanted my daughter to be. I have always been very open about "the female body" and we talk in ways that she will understand and not be afraid. I am pregnant with my 3rd child now, so she is getting another life lesson!
Thanks for posting questions and answers on this subject! I think all the mothers of pre-teen girls will be grateful!

Jamie - posted on 06/22/2010

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i have a friend who has a 9 year old daughter who has already had to start wearing bras so it is normal for this age if you notice any mood changes or her just being overly sensitive about things you'll know shes hittin puberty they usually show signs about 6 months before it happens

Tracy - posted on 06/22/2010

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regarding the leg hair...A friend of mine takes her girls for waxing as they both have thick dark leg hair, and apparently the younger you start waxing the less your hair grows back. He girls are swimmers so they started at 9, they are now 10 and 12, nd the 12 year old's leg hair barely grows back at all. Just throwin' that out there as an FYI...

Connie - posted on 06/21/2010

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This wasn't my question, but it's been very helpful to read! I have a 9 year old, and we haven't dealt with any of this yet. It's good to have some ideas ahead of time.

Karen - posted on 06/21/2010

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I have 2 daughters. Sounds like she is begining the first signs with her nipples budding. When this was the case with my girls they found it a little embarassing to wear tshirts as they would show through., I bought them crop tops to wear. They did the trip fine. I would say it is her breast starting to grow. Dont worry hopefully her period etc will be a long way off yet! Mine both budded their nipples then their feet had a big growth spurt (random I know!lol) as the hair was coming. Then around 6-12 mths after this the periods started. both my girls were early. One at 11 and the other at 10! But I was early also. Have heard that that can play a part also. Good luck. :)

JENNIFER D. - posted on 06/21/2010

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MY DAUGHTER WAS 8 WHEN I HAD TO PUT HER IN A TRAINING BRA. THEY DO HAVE THE SPORT'S TRAINING BRA'S OUT NOW FOR HER AGE THOUGH. YES GIRL'S DO TEND TO PUT SOME WEIGHT ON WHEN THEY ARE GOING THOUGH CHANGE'S I HAVE 3 GIRL'S AND MY OTHER 2 GIRL'S DIDN'T START WITH THE TRAINING BRA'S UNTIL THEY WHERE AROUND 9 AND 10. MY YOUNGEST PUT WEIGHT ON WHEN SHE WAS GOING THOUGH THE CHANGE TOO. GOOD LUCK ALL THE BEST TO YOU.

Kelli - posted on 06/20/2010

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There is a great book published by American Girl called "The Care and Keeping of You." If you haven't heard of it, get it. 8-10 years old it the perfect time to get it! It covers almost everything age appropriate, and you can use this for many discussions! Check Amazon.com for used copies. You won't be disappointed.

[deleted account]

***UPDATE***

Thanks you ladies so much!!! I talked to her this morning and she was really open to the idea of a bra. She even told me that she knew that several of the girls in her class already wear them too. We went and I let her pick. We ended up getting the training bra ones, the sports bra ones, and a pack of comisoles so she can have her choice. I told her that she can wear which ever ones she is comfortable with and that she doesn't have to wear them when we are at home.

As far as not making her wear one if she doesn't feel like she needs one.....I'm not ok with that. I feel like it's our responsibility to teach our girls modesty. I was very flat chested before I had kids and never wore a bra. I never felt the need to. Now I am a "D" cup and it kills me to wear a bra!!! I think it's because I never wore one when I was younger so I never got used to it. My daughter is also very curvy already. she has a small waist and little bubble butt and hips. So, I want to teach her to be modest and that she does't have to show off her curves just b/c she has them.

Kelina - posted on 06/18/2010

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Talk to your daughter! Talk to her about the changes that her body will eventually go through and ask her how she's feeling. She might be going through puberty or she might not but it's good to get her opinion. I also like kristas idea of the camisole that she can wear underneath. If she wants to wear a bra, then take her to choose one out. If she doesn't think she's ready, don't worry about ti. Tell your friends that you talked with her and she will tell you when she's ready for one. And krista's right too-training bras are pointless.

Tanya - posted on 06/18/2010

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Hey I haven't dealt with this personally but we did have a 7 year old girl make the news because she was pregnant. So i know that it is possible

[deleted account]

I'll give the same answer for the shaving the legs thing... and I'm glad my girls have light leg hair.

Definitely talk about periods w/ her. I bought my girls that American Girl book (The Care and Keeping of You... or something like that) and we read it together when they were 7.

Good luck! These early pre-teen years are preparing us for the real parenting 'battle' and it's kinda scary.... ;)

[deleted account]

Bras are not a requirement unless she NEEDS them for comfort (whether physical or emotional/social). How does your daughter feel about her 'bumps'? If she doesn't mind then I'd say this isn't the time yet. If they are making her self conscious... it's time.

My 8 year olds received some padded 'hand-me-down' bras the other day. Yeah, um... they are toothpick kids. Lol! I'm not letting them wear them out of the house until they actually start to develop.

[deleted account]

well, she has asked several times to shave her legs. she has quite a bit of dark hair on her legs and it's pretty long. definitely noticable. i'm not in agreement with waitng for her to come to me about the bra though. most girls don't realize that they need a bra because they are getting breasts. i have a friend that took her daughter shopping recently and noticed that she had quite a bit of underarm hair. she asked her daughter how long she had been growing the hair and her daughter said it's been there since thanksgiving!!! she had no clue to ask her mom if she could shave it (she already shaves her legs). i'm afraid that my daughter would never know to ask me to get her a bra.

[deleted account]

I wouldn't let my child shave their legs Untilt hey came to me. I would however also wait for her to come to me about the Bra i would talk to her and see how she feels 1st.

[deleted account]

i thought about using nair or one of those hair removers that you don't have to shave. i just feel like shaving is such a big responsibility!! i couldn't imagine her shaving at 8! We have a girls day planned here in the next few weeks so I guess we can have the talk that day. I am so nervous!!!

Krista - posted on 06/18/2010

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Yes, definitely let her know about her period! Some girls get them as young as 8 or 9, and it's better for her to know about it earlier, than to get her period, not have been told about it, and think that she's injured or sick.

And yeah, I'd probably let her shave her legs -- school is hard enough as it is without being teased for things that would otherwise be so easy to rectify.

[deleted account]

Oh and she hasn't even noticed the bumps!! She is totally oblivious. So she's not the one that is worried, I am. I worked at a daycare and we had a little girl there that was 11. She was heavy set and definitly had boobs already and her mom had not started her in a bra. I used to have parents make comments to me about someone needed to talk to her mom about buying her a bra. I don't want to be that mom!!!

[deleted account]

No Juleah! I didn't know all of it already!! She is in cheerleading but that is seasonal. July - September. She keeps asking for gymnastics so we can give that a try. I will check in to getting her some of the sports bra type bras.

Krista, I don't know what we're training them to do either but that's just what they've always been called!!!

Another question, should I be letting her know about her menstrual cycle? Or what about shaving her legs? she has really dark hair on her legs and she keeps asking about shaving it off. i am so lost!!! My mom was so old fashioned. I was the last girl in my grade to start shaving and all that stuff. I never thought i wouldn't know how to handle this stuff but its hard to accept that my baby is growing up!!!

Kathy - posted on 06/18/2010

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Ask her is she would feel more comfortable with a training bra or as my daughter did at that age a lightweight workout bra. These are sold with training bras. She can try both on. The little workout bra kind are soft, light weight, and gives younger girls a sense of security until they develop enough for a real training bra. My daughter also put on a little weight at that age. She is now 14 and has an hour-glass shape that keeps getting more refined each year. Our biggest hurdle was getting her to not to sleep in her bras. She practically showered in them. Ughhh. Now she is has learned to free "the girls" at night and her bras last atleast until she needs a larger cup size. This is also a great time to start discussing all the changes her body is going to go through as well as the emotional roller-coaster ride she can't avoid. Make it a special girl day. I still remember having a girl day with my grandma and telling her I got my training bras. She was so great about it and made me feel special-even bought me a new one with a pretty pink flower on it! LOL Good luck-the fun is starting.

[deleted account]

I like Krista's suggestion. Also, your daughter could be developing already! I have several friends who got their first cycles as early as age 10, and were "fully developed" and needing a regular bra by age 9. So, just keep an eye out for your daughter's comfort level around her friends and such. Again, I like Krista's idea a lot. :)

Krista - posted on 06/18/2010

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I've never understood the point of a training bra. What, precisely, are you training them to DO?

If the bumps are making her self-conscious, maybe just get her a little camisole or undershirt (cropped or full-length) that she can wear under her tops, which will smooth things down, but not be a "bra".

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