IS THERE A SPECIFIC AGE FOR GIVING A BOY HIS FIRST HAIRCUT?

Kay - posted on 11/09/2011 ( 210 moms have responded )

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Just curious. My son is 3 and I have not felt the need to cut his hair as yet. Does that make me a bad mommy? I don't think so. Everyone keeps saying I need to cut his hair because people always mistake him for a girl!

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Jane - posted on 11/09/2011

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My son had his first haircut when he was four months old. He was born with lots of hair and because he wasn't sitting up much he was developing major knots on the back of his head. Of course, I did it at home because he was too young to go to the barber shop. Even if he hadn't had an early hair cut, no one would ever have mistaken him for a girl because he had knobby boy legs and hands even when he was tiny and he loved trucks so much that everything he wore had trucks on it.



His sister also had an early haircut for the same reason. However, she loved dresses and girly colors like pink and lavender, so no one ever thought she was a boy even with short hair. Both of them had very curly hair so preventing knots was very important.



OTOH my brother's kids, two girls and a boy, still didn't have enough hair to cut when they were three. They just had some wispy, faint fuzz. They got their first haircuts when they were around five, and they were old enough to request them. The girls opted for bangs, and the boy wanted and got a buzz cut. Clothing was the only clue to their gender up until then.



These days long hair is an acceptable male hairstyle, one of many, so letting his hair stay long does not mean you are a bad mommy as long as it is clean and knot-free, and doesn't interfere with play. For his peace of mind as well as your own, you might make a point of dressing him in very masculine clothes so it is less likely for folks to mistake his gender.



Something to bear in mind, though, is that at about age three or four kids start realizing that boys and girls are different and that they are one or the other. Thus, if he asks to have his hair cut you should do it no matter how lovely his long hair may be.

Kylie - posted on 11/09/2011

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I had my sons hair cut at age 2 and a bit. They cut off all his beautiful baby curls and after i wished we hadn't done it. Now we're letting it grow. I put a little bit of product in his fringe sometimes to keep it out of his eyes. He is absolutely gorgeous with his long blonde curls and if anyone mistakes him for a girl , thats their issue. My daughter on the other hand had no hair until she was two and it took forever to grow. i remember a few people mistaking her for a boy even though she was dressed in pink.

Don't cut it if you dont want to. Ignore the morons, there are plenty of them around.

Sherri - posted on 11/09/2011

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My kids all had their first hair cut well before they were a year old. Sorry but if people think your son is a girl then you are way overdue and should have had it done awhile ago.

Sherri - posted on 11/10/2011

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JuLeah nothing is wrong about being a girl if you are one. However, nobody wants to be called the wrong gender.

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I had my son's hair cut for the first time when he was about 2 and a half. It was getting in his eyes and bothering him and that's the ONLY reason I had it cut. I actually prefer him with longer hair but now he's 4 and really likes having special barber shop time with Daddy so I've let it go. But my MIL used to ALWAYS give me crap about his hair being too long and him looking like a girl. She ALWAYS got a giant eye roll from me too because you know what? She's raised her kids and this one is MINE. My choice (and Daddy's) about what to do. You do what you think is best or what you think is cute on him. If you want it to be long, let it grow and screw anyone who gives you any flack about it. Also, maybe try asking your son what HE wants. Before I had Jacob's hair cut for the first time, I bought a hair style magazine at Wal Mart that had all kinds of hair styles, men's, women's, everything from bobs to crew cuts to mohawks and I let HIM choose his haircut. First time, he picked an average looking boy's cut. The last few times, we've done a faux hawk and he loves it. I even bought colored spiking gel for it. It gets a rise out of my MIL and makes me smile, every time :P

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Susan - posted on 11/14/2011

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my two youngest boys had the most beautiful curls. They were two and three when their hair was cut for the first time. People would say to me that they were cute little girls, i would just say no but they are cute little boys.

Elizabeth - posted on 11/14/2011

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Don't worry about what other people try to tell you. Cut it when you're ready. My sons hair grows really fast so he had his first at 1.5. I had everyone yelling at me for 6 months about cutting is hair. Just do it when you're ready

Kristi - posted on 11/14/2011

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My son is two and a half and has really long sandy blond hair. We live by the beach and so it is a little more acceptable but what really makes my son interesting is that he is half Chinese!! I am white and my husband is Chinese so the family loves his hair as it is very unique to them. I feel it needs to be cut soon though as it tangles easily and is hard to take care of boy or girl. I will still keep it long though, i will go with a long surfer style (and yes! Everywhere we go he is called a she - at Disneyland they will say come on get in "princess" - he doesnt seem to notice yet...soon he will though and then he can decide what he wants, for now, his dad and I LOVE our surfer boy!! i could care less what other people call him, he is a pretty boy! ps -our other son is a year younger and has dark curly hair...i dont know what to do with his hair yet!

Karen - posted on 11/14/2011

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I would not let others pressure you into getting your son's haircut, when you feel the time is right than you will know. Let everyone else keep up with their own family. Karen

Jan - posted on 11/14/2011

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Not cutting your son's hair does not make u a bad mommy! i'm sure if it really needed to b cut, u would have already. long hair on a boy is cute i think! and so what if anyone thinks otherwise. he's your son and its really up to u and him. =)

Jean - posted on 11/14/2011

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my kids 1st haircut was when they turned 1. there's nothing wrong with waiting and you are NOT a bad mommy.

Johanna - posted on 11/14/2011

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I kept my son's beautiful dark curls, long unti he was 5 or 6. Later, when he was 16 and 17, at Canada's premier private school for boys, he fought the rules and refused to cut his hair above his collar. Finally, the rules were changed and hair was allowed to touch the collar. My son was very annoyed by this change of rules. It deprived him of his means of rebellion. Interesting, no? Now he is bald. Go figure.

Faith - posted on 11/14/2011

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We rely on all our senses to tell us what something is and sight is one of them. For children this is very important and one of the first ways they distinguish what things are. It doesn't make you a bad mom you haven't cut his hair, but take into consideration how his peers see him and wether or not that is important to you. My son has very curly hair & I kept it long until he started school. Everyone thought he was a girl all the time. I didnt want him to be judged at school so we cut it before he started. I now keep his hair short & actually wish I would have done it sooner. It has helped him to identify with himself much better as well as his friends. He actually has a little boy in his class who has long curly hair, & his name could be a girls or boys name as well, he has not made friends well b/c many of the boys mistook him for a girl and now they know he's a boy & still don't play with him much b/c he looks like a girl. Its sad & I speak to my son about not judging people by the way they look, but unfortunately, as I said, that's how children associate things, with their sense of sight.

Corrie - posted on 11/14/2011

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my son is 3 and has beautiful long hair. he does have a pretty face so everyone thinks he is a girl, but he likes it long and so do we. he looks like a skater or rocker boy with the clothes I usually dress him in but he still gets called a girl. He's not at the age where it bothers him, so maybe once he starts to notice that everyone thinks he is a girl then we can talk about cutting it. Do what works for you and your kiddo and don't feel pressure either way!

Rachel - posted on 11/14/2011

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Both of my boys got their first haricuts near their first birthday, mostly out of tradition. It was hard, and a part of me wished I had waited. They really look "grown-up" once the baby curls are gone. I've had friends who have waited longer. It comes down to personal preference, I think, though 3 years seems a bit old to me.

Markita - posted on 11/14/2011

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I say it's completely up to you. If it's bothering you that people think he's a girl then maybe it's time to cut it. I think we put too much emphasis on how boys and girls are supposed to look. You do what feels right to you and to your child.

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I think he would appreciate it. We cut our first boy's hair after his younger sister was born and people thought we had 4 girls! He looked just as cute! Take some pictures and go for it! then tell him what a cute little man he is!

Viv - posted on 11/14/2011

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I didn't get my sons hair cut until he was 4 he had the most beautiful auburn wringlets and he too used to get mistaken for a girl. He asked to have it cut when he went to kindergarten as he had a united name and realised some of the kids thought he was a girl instead of a boy. I wouldn't be concerned unless it is affecting him

Donna - posted on 11/14/2011

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When people start mistaking your son for a daughter because of his long hair, I'd say it was high time to get his hair cut. 3 is pretty old (in my opinion) for a hair cut, especially a little boy. If I'd had a son, his first hair cut would have occurred shortly after his hair was past his ears. But that's just my opinion. As for my daughter, I didn't cut her hair until it got to the point where I couldn't run a brush through it anymore because she fought me to brush it and keep it nice. She was 3 going on 4 when I took her to the stylist and got it cut in a nice bob. She of course hated it, but she looked so grown up! Now, she's 9 and takes care of her own hair and it hasn't been cut since she was 7.

Dana - posted on 11/14/2011

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My son wasn't even a year old before we had his hair cut. I prefer a shorter hair cut on him but if you don't, then that's your business.

Ashley - posted on 11/14/2011

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i had the sicsiors out on my son at age 2 lol..i couldnt stand his long hair. i mean he had beautiful curls and such but he was a boy so he shouldt have long hair was my opinion. Now every three months at 6 yrs old he gets a buzz job since his hair grows soooo fricken fast. there is no time frame but we are in a society where boys have short hair and girls have hair lol..which sux for my 1 yr old daughter since she keeps gettin mistaken for a boy wearing pink with pierced ears but no hair.

Jo - posted on 11/14/2011

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The second people starting to mistake my son for a girl I had his hair cut. I'm sexist though and don't feel my son should look like a girl, wear pink, and other things. I have 4 boys now and not one goes without a buzz cut regularly. Every parent is different and it's really up to you just remember that the longer you wait to do a regular hair cut the more afraid of scissors they will be.

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There is no rule regardless of what anyone says. I remember one nephew who didn't get his haircut until he was for or so he had such beautiful blonde curls his Mom just couldn't cut them. Grandma thought she should get his hair cut, aunts and uncles all had their opinion. You can't please everyone so enjoy and please yourself. Unless your 3 yr old is complaining it's no big deal. We all look back at the pictures and laugh and comment - yup he had such beautiful curls. enjoy111

Lisa - posted on 11/14/2011

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my son is also 3 and ive had to cut his fringe just to keep it out his eyes but other than that he has never had a hair cut he also gets mistaken for a girl at times but whenever i take him out i always get women cooing over his hair and telling me not to get it cut so i wouldn't worry bout it chick who cares what other people think x

Carmel - posted on 11/14/2011

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My son had his first haircut around a year. Once it was over his ears I felt like he needed it cut. I have a stepson who is 12 yrs older than my son and we always thought his long hair looked sloppy. A few months back my son (now 9) asked to grow his hair out so we let him and as soon as it started to cover his ears he was begging me to get it cut. But, that being said, you are the mother and it is up to you. JuLeah, I don't think anyone is saying that there is anything wrong with girls, I think it is just the fact that people mistake him for a girl - ever seen a bald girl who's parents put a headband on her so people don't think she is a boy. They aren't saying there is anything wrong with boys, just saying, yes she is a girl.

Kristy - posted on 11/14/2011

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It up to you really. I've been horribly embarrassed when I have mistaken boys for girls because they had long hair, personally. If he has long hair and its brushed, as much as a little boy will tolerate lol, then who cares? its not like he has dreads and is running wild like Tarzan. Children both boys and girls alike have had long hair for centuries. Its only in more recent times that people have really cared. I've always had my oldest son's hair cut short becuase up until recently he didn't like to have it brushed. He didn't like having to hold still for it and then he would mess it back up immediately afterwards. Go figure. So I keep it short so I don't i have to fight him on it. Long hair on men and boys doesn't bother me. I grew up with a family of surfers and went through childhood with various male members of my family having long hair for a while. Even my husband had long hair went we started dating. We are Renaissance fair geeks so it didn't matter. Like I said in the end its up to you. He's your kid and you have the right to cut his hair or leave it long. Raise him how you want.

Faye - posted on 11/14/2011

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I am glad to see there is another mother out there with the same way as myself. My son is 2 and a half and I still haven't cut his hair. He was born with a full head of dark hair and the top naturally stuck up in a mohawk...I couldn't make it go down if I tried. It was soooo cute, but now I just can't seem to part with it. lol. I am just about ready to get his hair cut but as soon as someone tells me to do it, I don't want to...do it when you are ready. When we do it we are gonna go to one of those kids places and make a big deal about it....I know I will shed a tear or...10...lol. Take care.
P.S. the pony tail will end up in the baby book...for sure...lol

Barbara - posted on 11/14/2011

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So, let people say what they want that is your baby. My grandson had long beautiful hair and when he was about 4 and a half, he said I want my hair cut like daddy and they cut it. so do it in your time

Cristina - posted on 11/14/2011

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I think if his hair isn't getting in his way of playing or seeing clearly....then don't worry about what other people are saying

Theresa - posted on 11/14/2011

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I have been a hairstylist for 30 yrs. There is no set age to get a 1st haircut. Everyone's hair grows differnently. Blondes are usually bald (or at least look bald) when born so they will not need a haircut as soon as another child. 3 sounds a bit old to have never haid a haircut, but again, depends on growth. If he has all those whispy things covering his ears and nape of neck I would cut it for sure. Get all that fly-away stuff off. Be prepared, once all that soft uneven (fly-away) stuff is off he will look like a "cute little boy" the "baby" look will be gone. Sometimes parents aren't ready to see that. Also, if you don't think he will sit well bring his favorite toy or put a video on you iPhone ???? Salons should have "treats" but maybe you want to bring something yourself that he likes. Good luck. PS, save the treat until after, there is no possible way to eat while getting a haircut and not eat some hair, especially if the treat is sticky

Crystal - posted on 11/14/2011

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I have a five year old son who has amazingly beautiful white-blond hair that we let get "longish" every 6 months or so and then cut it. Just know that it grows so quick! He likes it long and always has but around 3 1/2 we started cutting it regularly because it was difficult for him to see well and also he is very cute and it looked kind of girlish. :) we let it go kind of "surfer boy" long but that's it. You want him to feel like the other boys enough that he will join in, learn to be rough and tough and especially want him to feel comfortable when he goes to school. There is nothing that says you have to give him the 1 inch all over "boy" cut though. Leaving a little length is ok ...a little added personality is all its ever been for our son. But we definitely make sure he dresses boyish and that his hair is short enough to look like a boy. That said, he is your son and no one else's :)

Catherine - posted on 11/14/2011

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If your childs hair is wispy and wavy, covering his eyes then yes he needs a hair cut. At around three is when I started getting my boys hair shaped when they got their hair cut. But it all depends what style you want him to have? But try to remember its him to have to live with your choice!

Lynn - posted on 11/14/2011

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If you are fine with it and he is fine with, then leave it be. You may want to trim his hair to keep it neat and as long as he doesn't have problems getting food stuck in his hair or anything else, let him enjoy it and if he ever decides to get a cut in the future, he may be able to donate his hair to Locks of Love or something similar.

Heather - posted on 11/14/2011

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My son is 4 an we have never cut his hair. He has very long hair and just started preschool this year. He gets mistaken for girl by strangers but the kids in his class and people he knows are fine with it. If someone thinks he's a girl he just explains that he is a boy with long hair. He will tell other kids that if you don't cut your hair it "just grows and grows and grows". He is very confident with who he is and since his dad has long hair he doesn't see it as girly at all. He wears it in a ponytail to school so that it is out of his face and I do not think it is a big deal. My husband always points out to him how alot of cool guys have long hair (rock stars, super heros, leading men) . I say it is up to you an that it will only affect your son negatively if you make it out negative. We emphasis to him that we are not really concerned with what strangers think...they're strangers! If anything I think my son is very confident in who he is because he hasn't been told he has to conform and get a hair cut.

Christina - posted on 11/14/2011

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My son is 3.5 and has yet to have a hair cut and that is his choice along with my husband's and mine (I have asked him a few times especially now that he is older if he wants his hair cut and he says no I want long hair). When he was born he had some hair but he is a beautiful child blonde curly haired blue eyed and is mistaken for a girl a lot usually by old ladies in the grocery store. WE decided to grow his hair out for locks of love, so while everyone wants his hair short my son is learning something about helping other kids while having beautiful hair at the same time. And as long as he is okay with his hair I am, but I already told my husband the first time he asks for a hair cut he is getting one.

Rashana - posted on 11/14/2011

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Just my opinion, but if the other boys and girls in his play group comment on his long hair, like he looks like a girl, then maybe time to consider cutting. He'll still be as cute as ever. You don't need to cut very short.

Samantha - posted on 11/14/2011

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If it bothers you a lot then get his hair cut, We got Ryan's hair cut right have his first birthday because his bangs got too long but he had no other hair anywhere else.

Sharon - posted on 11/14/2011

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Kay yu are not a bad mom, if you don't want to cut his hair, then don't. Do it when you are comfortable with it or he ask for a haircut....

Jennifer - posted on 11/14/2011

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No its not bad!!! my son is 2 1/2 and i dont plan on cutting his beautiful hair until I want to, i get crap for people every now and then and people are mistake my son for a girl too which is dumb because his dressed like a total BOY

Wendy - posted on 11/14/2011

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My son is 2 and has beautiful long blonde hair. Once in a while someone calls him a girl, even when dressed in dark blue with trucks on his shirt. They are ALWAYS older people who equate long hair with girls. We are in southern California, so the "surfer" look is appropriate for boys.

I cut my first's at 26 months because his hair was long and stringy and it looked kind of shabby. My second has thick and beautiful hair and I feel no need to cut it.

Cut it when you want to, not when people tell you to! It's your child. THere will be many more times to come when people tell you what you need to do with your child and you need to stick to your guns.

Plus, this is just hair!

Mindy - posted on 11/14/2011

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I think that longer hair for a boy is kind of hip and trendy right now and I love it! Listen to your mommy voice and if you are happy then just tell those who are giving you a hard time that you are happy with his hair and love it!

Tracy - posted on 11/14/2011

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whatever you decide make the most of it as when my son started school one off the kids cut his. it wasnt long but spikey. he thought it looked great and him and the boy had a great time (the teacher had kittens), but i had to get it shave with a number 4 as he had his school pics a few weeks after...

Amy - posted on 11/14/2011

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While I don't believe there is a specific age, I do feel like there is a responsibility toward gender identity. My husband has mentioned to me many times about his childhood and how he used to tell people his name was "boy" because everyone thought he was a girl (his mother did not cut his hair and he had long blond curls) and he resented that. I think when a child gets to the point that people are mistaking him for a girl then it's in his best interest to get his hair cut. JMO.

Tracy - posted on 11/14/2011

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As a girl with short naturally curly hair I refused to let my mom brush it because "it is going to look the same anyway". Growing up on a farm we wore hand-me-downs from my boy cousins. I was always mistaken as a boy and I can remember getting mad and yelling "I'm a Girl" at old "people" when they would say what a cute boy I was and I was no more then 3 or 4 years old at the time.. If he seems to be getting upset by the comment of being a girl then you should get his hair cut.

Karin - posted on 11/14/2011

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I'm a former hairdresser. I didn't give my son his first haircut until he was older than one because he had almost no hair to speak of until then. He is a blondie so it was fine till then. It's all up to the parent when they get their child's first haircut. If you happen to like the way it looks, keep it. Don't worry about what other people are saying. It's none of their business anyway. When I worked in the salon, parents wouldn't bring their children for haircuts the second it got a little long. Just make sure it's brushed and knot free or that could make your son uncomfortable because of the knots.

Heidi - posted on 11/14/2011

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I don't think there is a certain age to give them their first haircut. It really depends on the parents and how long his hair is. We gave him his first hair cut before his first birthday. My freind didn't cut his hair until he was 4.

BRENDA - posted on 11/14/2011

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as long as it s not in his eyes,you can give it a trim.then not worry about what others think when you are ready is all that counts.

Stephanie - posted on 11/14/2011

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This drives me nuts when I'm told my son needs a haircut. I like it longer and it isn't hurting him... The comment is negative and when said in front of him it makes me upset. Saying it repeatedly I afraid he thinks there is something wrong.... Do what you want not everyone else....

Shannon - posted on 11/14/2011

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@JuLeah: LOL There's nothing wrong with being a girl - it's not about that. Gender identity is HUGELY important, and can be the cause of a lot of strife. And kids around 3 and 4 are just learning what and who they are. THAT's why it's important. It would be the same if this were about a girl with no hair being mistaken for a boy. ;)

Having said that... Kay, it's up to your family what you do with your son's hair. I'm sure he's as cute as cute can be, especially if there are curls involved! My son (he's 7, now) had arrow straight, wispy hair that just didn't look so hot, so he had his first haircut around 1. But I probably would have waited it out if he had curls, too. ;) And as long as he (or you) doesn't care about correcting some people, then I don't think it's a big deal. *I*, for one, go on the clothes with kids - it's too hard to tell with a lot of kids until they're a little older. So, I'd have to say, anyone who mistakes a kid in blue clothes with trucks on them for a girl... their bad! lol

Lin - posted on 11/14/2011

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I cut my lad hair at 2 not cause i wanted to because he had long baby curls at bottom and it looked untidy also his grandad kept sayin he look like a girl. I regretted cutin it he looked so grown up i cried, his dad felt same. So dont let other people talk u n to doin it if u dont want to it up to u, and as onë mum said when he wants it cut he tell u.

Di - posted on 11/14/2011

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Cut or don't cut- it's up to you and your boy. Don't worry about it, it's only hair. My 'baby' is 19 and his hair is just under his shoulders!

Doris - posted on 11/14/2011

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Who cares what other people think. He's your son and if you want his hair long then so be it. My son is 17 months and someone mistaked him for a girl last week. I am going to go get his hair cut on my free time for the holiday and since it's in his eyes but outside of that I don't care. To each is own.

Karen - posted on 11/14/2011

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You are his mother and it is your choice when you cut his hair. My little boy had beautiful curls and i put off cutting his hair till he was about 4. We are blessed with children and they are babies for such a short time. Enjoy your baby boy. Karen mother of 4

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