is this ok like really?

Sam - posted on 06/07/2011

unfortunatley their are mom's that backslide on parenting, they counting on your good nature to look after thier siblings ,while they entertain themselves with exicting things. To fix the problem,everytime you see the child gently take him/her back to mom.She'll soon get the idea

Ashley - posted on 06/07/2011

i live in the same idea my backyard is wide open. My son will be 3 in aug and i would never let him play out back by him self! NO WAY!

Sherri - posted on 06/07/2011

I'm saddened to see so many people jumping on the other mom. She's obviously got her hands full with a nursing infant as well as the three year old and is quite possibly feeling overwhelmed. Why not ask if there's something you can do to help her out? If you were in her shoes, wouldn't you be happy to have an extra hand, especially from someone who obviously cares about the kids' well-being? I'm not defending her actions - there's no way I'd let my 3 year old do what hers is doing, especially with water around - but fatigue, to say nothing of PPD, can certainly lead to lapses in judgment.

Tegan - posted on 06/07/2011

i am another person who thinks this is fine as long as there is NO water! The risks of a stranger hurting your child is practically nothing compared to the risks that a child is already being hurt by someone you know very well. You cant hover over them all the time. Kids used to play outside in the street by themselves all the time. Even little ones. They all grew up fine.

Mazy - posted on 06/07/2011

My older son is 2 & I have to say that I DO allow him to play on his own outside. BUT, we have a fenced in back & front yard (he gets closed into the back & can't get into the front, even though that is always gated off as well). I also have a lot of windows that look out to the back & a video camera with a monitor in the kitchen. I let him play outside if I have to run in & grab laundry from the washer to hang, start dinner (or stir it), or some other quick chore like that. I do not have a pool, nor would I allow him to have one, especially if he were alone since a child can drown in just a few inches of water. I'm not too concerned because we live in a good place with great neighbors & he's a very good kid. I think it totally depends on the kids, parents & overall situation.

DEBRA - posted on 06/07/2011

That is too young to be outside by themselves. Also too dangerous w/o supervision as crazy as this world is today. The child could get kidnapped, etc. I would never leave a kid out that little. The people must not care enough for their child or jusy lazy like you sa8id. Unfit parent in my opinion. When my son was little, I was always out there with him until he got older, we had a good neighborhood back then. Also with swimming, that kid can drown in a minute and the parent probably would't know it if shes not watching him. Stupidity on her part, I pray for the kids safety.

Bettye - posted on 06/07/2011

I would most definately be there all the time.

Michele - posted on 06/07/2011

Mine is 9 and the same rules apply.

Michele - posted on 06/07/2011

Doesn't your neighbor watch TV? She is out of her mind. We live in a house, quiet neighborhood, cul-de-sac and we know our neighbors--our 9 year old isn't allowed out front if we can't see her and if she wants to see if her friend next door, one of us has to walk her over there. She can't go by herself.

Bettye - posted on 06/07/2011

I would most definately be there all the time.

Katherine - posted on 06/07/2011

I agree, that is crazy. Are you sure she isnt watching from a window or some other half-assed method? If you find him outside swimming unsupervised, you CAN call the police to tell them a child is unattended in a hazardous situation. That is NOT safe! Good luck!

Sharon - posted on 06/07/2011

i agree that you should watch a 3 year old especially swimming but im not sure when you say open back yard does it mean it leads to the road or just a joint back yard unfortuenately all parents parent differently

TaBetha - posted on 06/07/2011

We live in a community that is just like that! I have actually seen two year olds out! I get tired of watching over other peoples kids! It's not okay!

Lisa - posted on 06/07/2011

I agree with you! I freaked out when my daughter and niece age 6 at the time went outside to play by themselves and then I couldn't find them! I also live in a townhouse complex with open backyards! I don't know if they are being lazy or just don't care?

Yaritza - posted on 06/07/2011

I also live in a community condo neighborhood and I see kids running around alone all the time. They run through the streets, mess with other people's property and no one is ever there to tell them it's not ok. leaving children alone like that is definitely not ok. There's an enormous amount of responsibility put on your shoulders when you become a parent. you should always keep be near. I think you're the perfect amount of protective.

Chelsa - posted on 06/07/2011

I would never allow my child outside by them self at that age, especially swimming! You may want to call the police the next time the child is swimming by himself. They can notify child protective services, but I would call the police because they can document that specific incident. Child protective services will have to schedule an appointment to review the situation and will not be able to document it unless there is a police report.

Marisa - posted on 06/07/2011

Are you actually sure she is not watching her child from the window or door way? I let me kids out in the yard "by themselves" sometimes. But I nearly always am looking out the window at them - or sitting on the porch. - The water aspect frightens me though....that is WRONG, and dangerous and worthy of reporting.

Torri - posted on 06/07/2011

No that's not okay. Especially with how your backyards are set up. Swimming is really dangerous with no one watching, obviously. Hopefully he'll be safe.

Samantha - posted on 06/07/2011

Even if she is breastfeeding a 3 month old, that is still NO EXCUSE for letting her 3 year old outside playing by himself. I have two children close together and have a box of special toys that I give my older child inside to play with while I am feeding so I can supervise him properly too.

Tina - posted on 06/07/2011

You are not being over protective. A 3 yr old could very easily drown with no supervision, he could also wander off very easily. If it were me I would contact child services, that behavior is neglectful.

Sarah - posted on 06/07/2011

I let my 2 and 4 year olds out in our fenced yard by themselves. However never with water around, not even a wader. Our neighbours allow their same aged children out with an un gated pool. Depending on the child I would say it could be okay, but with the pool accessible I'd mention my concern to her three is typically too young to be predictable enough to stay away from the water.

Sandie - posted on 06/07/2011

I don't let my nearly 8 yo outside without my direct supervision. In the back yard which is fenced, she can but I am always checking. Nevermind the water element. Just this past week an 8 year old was abducted and sexually assaulted. We don't need to repeat that. Be with the children - they will be grown and gone before you know it. Enjoy these times and be with them.

Jacquie - posted on 06/07/2011

NO!! I would FIRST talk with said neighbor before calling the police though; DHS is a PAIN! Tell her it is ILLEGAL to leave a child unattended by a pool and you will call law enforcement if you have to.

Catie - posted on 06/07/2011

I think she is crazy, too many things can happen. I have a fenced in backyard and would NEVER allow a 3yr old in the fenced in yard by themselves.

Jo - posted on 06/07/2011

I don't like it when people don't pay attention to their kids either. We have open backyards and the neighbor girls are always outside in the pool and asking if my kids can go over and swim with them. I will tell them "NO" every time because there is NEVER an adult outside with them. I sit outside with my kids and when I need to go in for something, they come in too. The world is too crazy to let our kids go anywhere without an adult at that age. It's just not safe. You're not being "over protective", YOU ARE BEING A PARENT!





(I'm pretty sure you could call the Sheriff Department [not 911] and report an unattended toddler in a pool. Maybe having the cops tell her, she's not taking care of her kids would be the wake up call she needs)

Holly - posted on 06/07/2011

I'm with you - I don't think it's safe to be unattended outside at that age. And the pool - that is absolutely a hazard!!!!!! Maybe your neighbor just needs some education... maybe you can send some child safety articles her way or talk to her depending on what your relationship with her is like. Certainly something needs to be done to protect the child, though. Best wishes on helping that little boy.

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 06/07/2011

nooooooooooooooooooo not ok

Sharon - posted on 06/07/2011

I agree with this post. Watching from a window would be no help if the child were in real trouble as drowning doesn't look like it does in the movies, its quiet and quick. At the least they need a child-proof cover for the pool.

Barbara - posted on 06/07/2011

No, I don't think you are over protective... she doesn't seem to care if anything happens... especially if this child is swimming by himself. I'd let the managers know what is going on.

LaQuitea - posted on 06/07/2011

I would not let my children outside alone without a closed in area and they would definitely not be playing around water alone. That's just dangerous.

Vicky - posted on 06/07/2011

I have read most of the post and here is what I think about it. I wouldn't allow my 3 year to "roam" around in a ungated area, nor would I let them go "swimming", but that is what I would do. You don't know her exact situation so before you make a judgement about her either being lazy or stupid try talking to her. Explain that you don't feel comfortable with the situation and see if you could help. When I first had my kids (ages 10 and 7 now) I was like "oh how can a mom let their kid do such and such" but I have learned that we don't all parent the same way and what works for you may not work for everyone. People have different upbringings and they commonly do what they have been taught, so do be so critical, try and be helpful.

Take the "you" out of the situation and try to see it from her perspective...maybe she just needs a little help and doesn't know how to ask for it.

Good Luck

Ashley - posted on 06/07/2011

did you play outside by yourself when you were a kid??? never would i let my 3year old go swimming without me being there

Pam - posted on 06/06/2011

a child can drown in two inches of water.

Pam - posted on 06/06/2011

NO NO NO that is not right and not acting responsively. I would tell her directly that you feel uncomfortable about her letting her child out near a pool alone and that next time you might have to call the authorities for the child's safety. it takes a village, and apparently she is acting like a village idiot...sorry had to say it.

Danielle - posted on 06/06/2011

I don't even let my 12 year old watch our 3 year old outside by the pool let alone let her swim by herself. This woman needs help before something tragic happens.

Jane - posted on 06/06/2011

Does she want you to help her watch him? Did you suggest she should lock or barricade the door when she feeds so he can't get out? Does she even realize the risk he faces with the pool out there? She isn't coping well and whether she knows it or not, she needs help.

Ashley - posted on 06/06/2011

i know her quite well she also has a 3 month old baby she is breast feeding so when asked why she allows him outside with out her there when theres a pool she says because im feeding and can't stop him ...

Stifler's - posted on 06/05/2011

if there wasn't a pool i'd say that's okay. but since this kid is swimming alone WTF!

Valerie - posted on 06/05/2011

you are right and they are probably stressed or clueless...if the child is unsupervised it is a sitting duck for abduction or accident...either try to befriend the neighbor to find out what i up or call social services to come and investigate...if something happens to the child you will have peace of mindif you took ac tion

Teresa - posted on 06/05/2011

In a small, safe, fenced in yard..... I'd say 3 is ok. W/ what YOU are describing... and espeically the water factor... no way. Kids can drown in an inch of water, drowning is the leading cause of young children's death, and most of those children drown at home.

I will say that I can supervise my kids from inside our apartment, but my 3 year old never goes out w/out at least one of his sisters (9.5 year old twins) and they don't have anywhere to swim.

Jodi - posted on 06/05/2011

Given it is a yard in a complex, not a private yeard, no, I don't think it is appropriate to let a child that age out on their own. There needs to be a level of supervision.



The swimming thing - that just takes it to a whole different level......never, never, never, never.....

Cynthia - posted on 06/05/2011

this is not ok like really

Jane - posted on 06/05/2011

It is possible that the mom is watching him from inside. Even so, I wouldn't let my 3 yo wander outside without me within at least 10 feet, especially if there is no fence. It is amazing how quickly the little guys can move.

But letting him swim unsupervised?! That is nuts. You only need a few inches of water in which to drown, and it takes a lot less time than you think for it to happen.

I don't know if the woman is stupid, lazy, impaired or simply echoing what her parents did, but she needs to get a slap upside the head, especially about the swimming. Any chance you could complain to CPS anonymously?

Keli - posted on 06/05/2011

that is some definet stupidity right there.

Julie - posted on 06/05/2011

Not sure lazy is the word for your neighbor......I think stupid is more appropriate.......my biggest pet peeve is when people reproduce and then somewhere along the line they think their job as a parent is done! You can never be too overprotective when you are talking about a three year.....let alone 10 year old outside alone........strangers look for this kids waiting for the chance to grab them......

Danielle - posted on 06/05/2011

No way!
It would be a different story if it were a gated yard.
We sometimes let our 2.5 year old outside to play, but we keep the screen door propped open and make sure all our gates are locked.
We also are always in the kitchen with the windows open, and are constantly checking to make sure he is still alright.
He is also never out for more than an hour tops by himself.

I think the type of pool doesn't matter. A three year old can just as easily slip, and fall (break a limb, be knocked unconscious, drown, ect).

With so many risk factors I think the parents are just negligent. It would take little effort to pull out a blanket and a book and sit outside with your kid.

Elfrieda - posted on 06/05/2011

With no swimming pool or just a little wader, I think it's fine. It's healthy to let kids play on their own. Probably she's peeking out of the window all the time to make sure he's okay. If it's a full-sized swimming pool, I think it's a terrible idea!

Laura - posted on 06/05/2011

personally I would be out with my little one ESPECIALLY if he was swimming!!