is your child ready for SEX

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LaCi - posted on 06/19/2009

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I'm glad I'm an atheist and I can keep jesus out of my bedroom. I'm very glad I'm not married, have a fantastic sex life and a wonderful commitment to my child's father without all this author and creator nonsense involved.

Ruth - posted on 06/13/2009

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I presume you're talking about when your child is in their late teens or is an adult? It depends. I don't think it's something that you can give a definitive answer too. It depends on their age, maturity etc...

In an ideal world, we'd all wait until we were in a loving relationship, but there's so much pressure these days. Everywhere you look, there seems to be sex! I'm certainly no prude and I don't have a problem with nakedness and bodies and stuff but everything seems to be aimed at making kids grow up so fast these days.

I think it's sad - particularly for girls. The message seems to be "if you're not having sex, then you're not HOT and therefore unpopular".

I wish girls and women could be judged on their character and actions, rather than how they look, how sexy they are and how much sex they get!

Leigh - posted on 06/15/2009

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Kids start having sex, earlier then most parents realise. I think we forget as parents how those 'feelings' can start being overhwhelming and acted on. I'm a body waxer & have alot of girls from my local area high school talk to me about their sex life, & quite often I am shocked that they disclose things to me that I know they would not discuss with their parents. The common discussion alot of the girls talk to me about is not being proactive enough in having safe sex!! Another is that they can't believe no one tells them how great it feels to have sex. Many times when a girl asks me about sex, I ask have you ever tried discussing this with your Mum, only to be told that 'Mum would rather believe that I won't be having sex until I'm married', so is not receptive to being told otherwise. I have also taken a few 'girls' to my local health clinc to have a sit down discussion with a Dr about good sexual health, birth control, emotional support. I come from a family where my mother never spoke to any of us about sex & had no interest in educating us on what to expect. My mother always maintained that we had an open relationship & could discuss anything with her, which was not true, because as soon as 'touchy' subjects were bought up, she used to reply with 'when I think you're ready for this, then it will be discussed'. Consequently I got my periods when I was at school & went to the teacher & told her that I thought someone had 'stabbed me', & I was bleeding in my undies.

Now as a parent to 3 teenage boys, I try to keep an open rapport about good sexual health, but I also have told them about periods, wet dreams, masterbation, etc, more often or not with a bright red face, but it is still talked about.

Just as our kids 'don't know it all', the same can be said about the parents.

Jennifer - posted on 06/13/2009

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No child is ever ready for sex. Children should be taught that it is best to wait until marriage, however, in real life that becomes difficult to enforce. If you feel that your child is having sex or thinking about it the best thing you can do is talk to them and explain the reality of it all. I do believe that the entertainment industry concentrates way to much on sexual behavior or sexy bodies. There is only so much you can shield your child from. You will find that if you are calm in speaking with your child and not judgemental they will be more likely to come to you. If your child is going to have sex they will find a way no matter what you say. I would rather my child come to me than yell at her,have her run off, and place herself in a dangerous situation because she is afraid that I will be mad. Teach them the dangers of sex before marriage, talk to them about safe sex and what happens when you don't protect yourself. All you can do is your best and hope that they follow your advice. Always keep an open relationship with your child. Yes you must be the parent, but you can also be a friend that they can trust. I went through this with my oldest and truthfully there are times when they will lie anyway because they are scared. The past year my daughter has seen how difficult taking care of a baby can be. She went through the pregnancy with me, went to my appointments and was in the room while I was in labor. She was going to be there for the birth , but I ended up having an emergency C-section. She told me the other day that she is not having children because they are real hard to deal with. Of course I said the same thing (I was also the oldest of four) and I ended up with four.

LaCi - posted on 06/19/2009

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Quoting Vicki:

No. The bible CLEARLY states sexual relations should be between a married man and woman. There are no grey areas there.


 



But not everyone agrees with the bible, thats an individual choice. Just because its black and white for you doesn't mean it is for everyone-including your child.

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Jessica - posted on 07/10/2009

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I waited until marriage to have sex and have never regretted it. I live my life on the foundations of the Bible and will raise my children in the same way. I was not raised that way, but entered into a relationship with the Lord in my teen years. I know not everyone agrees with this or lives this way, but I believe my Creator has given us a perfect guide with how to live our lives and this includes reserving sex for marriage. However, I do realize we live in a world where people are having sex younger and younger. If my children do choose to have sex before marriage, I would hope that I've raised them that we love them and they can always come to us. I also think it's important for ALL parents to educate their kids about the realities of sex. This includes the prevalence of STDs and the possibility of early pregnancy, neither of which is any young teenager ready for. Anyway, my two children are still very young, but I raise them prayerfully; I need all the wisdom I can get!

Julie - posted on 07/10/2009

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I have 2 adult step-children who lived with us during their teenage years, a 17-year old son, and teach a high school Sunday School class. Here is my sex talk: there are two things that you need to consider before you have sex. First, you have to be comfortable enough with the person to talk honestly about sexually transmitted diseases. You need to know whether the person has a sexual history, and if so, he/she must be willing to be tested and share the results with you. STDs can cause pain, infertility, death, and the possibility of infecting others -- life-changing consequences that you will live with every day. Second, since no form of birth control is 100% effective, you must be ready to handle a pregnancy.



I think these are the reasons the church has said we should wait until we're married, but if you can get kids to think about the consequences rather than just saying NO, don't do it; you have to wait until you're married! they're more receptive. They're not 2-year olds headed for the electrical outlet with a fork! I know my Sunday School kids have come back from college and told me they appreciated my approach.

Clare - posted on 07/09/2009

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ok all this rubbish about waiting till you married in the real world that dont happen to the most of us! i lost my virginity at 13!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it was the biggest mistake of my life it wasn't with the right person but i thought it was at the time i had been with him 4 3 years and i felt it was right but looking back on it no way was i ready he pressured me so much that i felt guilty if i didn't. and that is reality for alot of girls. tennagers will have sex when they want u cant stop them your not with them 24-7! and if they do want to advise them and say ill support you! and in the case the do get pregnant it done u have to deal with it casue i was pregnant at 19 and to my parents it was a shock but they came round to the idea and now they are the proudest g parents ever! life is about learning and how are you going to learn from your mistakes if you dont make them first. good luck!

Barbara - posted on 07/09/2009

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How in the world did you manage to keep an open dialogue with a BOY! I can't even hardly get my daughter to talk about it! I feel like I'm the only one doing the talking!!!!!

Brooke - posted on 07/08/2009

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why can't people stick religion up there a###s instead of trying to stick it down our throats! I am sorry but as far as I'm concerned I believe more in evolution then I do in god. That is my opinion and I know a lot aren't going to like it but the fact is I don't like seeing people get on here saying sex is something god gives you... BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! I dont see god in my bed at night and if he was there I would tell him where to go! Come on and stop using religion as an excuse for your pathetic lives. I am god in my life I take care of my responsibilities.

Now to the proper topic, no children are not ready for sex but the word children is a word used widely. My daughter when she is 30 will still be my child so does that mean she wont be ready for sex?? An 11yo is not ready, neither is a 12,13,14,15yo old.

I was 16 and it was a learning experience I was not and am not trashy. I slept with 2 people before my current partner. And during those times I knew that falling pregnant could be a concequence and it was something I had thought about a lot.

My partner and I have now been together for 2 years, no we are not married but we do intend on it. Marriage doesn't seem so important at the moment.

Can any women on here tell me that they in there relationship DO NOT have sex for fun?? Because it feels good?? Because it brings you closer to that person??

Is the only time you have sex is when you want to have a baby?? or do you have sex for fun and don't use protection because hey god made you a women for a reason and sex means to breed??

Educate your child DO NOT cover them in cotton wool and hope for the best!!

Sharon - posted on 06/27/2009

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My first thought is NO, however, being realistic and understanding some of the pressures of today's teens, I have armed my child with a few things: 1. Preparation for Adolesence (a church offered class for 5th and 6th graders that helps them to make informed decisions) and 2. Condoms (at age 16). Believe me when I say a child who says they will wait for marriage and has the best of intentions of doing so, may "cave" in to the pressure to have sex (especially if they are experimenting with alcohol also). Parents who believe that giving their children condoms is condoning pre-marital sex are risking their children's lives. That may sound forward and somewhat assuming, but facts are facts. Please try to keep your children safe.

Sharon - posted on 06/27/2009

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My first thought is NO, however, being realistic and understanding some of the pressures of today's teens, I have armed my child with a few things: 1. Preparation for Adolesence (a church offered class for 5th and 6th graders that helps them to make informed decisions) and 2. Condoms (at age 16). Believe me when I say a child who says they will wait for marriage and has the best of intentions of doing so, may "cave" in to the pressure to have sex (especially if they are experimenting with alcohol also). Parents who believe that giving their children condoms is condoning pre-marital sex are risking their children's lives. That may sound forward and somewhat assuming, but facts are facts. Please try to keep your children safe.

[deleted account]

I love my 17 year old daughter and taught her all the right things, took her to church, and she was committed to not having sex until she was married...but then this boyfriend came along. He was very needy and close to her all the time. My husband didn't like him, but tolerated him. They spent a lot of time at our house because he didn't have anyone at home most of the time. They ended up pregnant...it broke my heart, but I had to help her...my mindset had to change...and she ended up losing the baby after less than 3 months. This was in March and I have watched her go through depression, mourning, the somewhat selfish boyfriend who is still here...and my husband hates him and won't allow him in the house. This has been the toughest, most painful thing I have watched...and I can't fix it...no one can.



Some of you say that if you teach them right it won't happen...if you watch them like a hawk, it won't happen, but the truth is that you can't be there every minute of every day...if the opportunity arises and they make the decision to have sex, then they have to deal with the results of that action. Safe sex...yeah, I taught that too and I even told her that if things changed and she made the decision to become sexual, then she should talk to the Dr. and get protection. Saying the right things, doing the right things, trying to do your best doesn't always work. All you can do is your best and hope for the best...and if things don't turn out exactly as you want them to be, then you have to deal. If you think that being religious or agnostic or athiest makes a difference, I think you're wrong. And our children are children who are growing into adults and sometimes stumble along the way...and we need to love them through it the best way we can.

Amanda - posted on 06/26/2009

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Quoting Sarah:

Many of you don't know the pressures of today's world. I am in a very loving and committed relationship but I am not married. I am 8 weeks off having our first child, and alot of people think I am too young at 19. But the reality is it differs with each person. You cannot stand by the old saying "no sex before marriage" anymore, it is too old fashioned in these times. Mostly it is a personal preference. I have nothing against those who wish to wait for marriage, but what about those who don't believe in marriage? Does that mean they will be denied children and a sexual relationship with someone they love because of their beliefs? There are so many religions and so many beliefs nowadays it is too hard to be prejudice. As for "Children" having sex, then it depends. You cannot say that a child is to a certain age, because each person and gender is different. For example, saying that everyone is a child until they are 18 is all very well, but you can get some men or women who are older then that and nowhere near emotionally ready. In saying that, you can have a 16 year old who is emotionally mature and in a committed relationship who cannot be pushed down by society's rules. That is my personal opinion on the matter, and I don't deny anyone else their opinion neither, as everyone is entitled :-).


well I am literaly only a few years older than you are so I do know the preasures of todays world. I also know it is tainted and corupt and bull shit. I do not base my beliefs on religion because I am not religious I just happen to have common sense. kids should not be having sex period. I dont care if they are honor role or drop outs it carys the same amount of risk for both.  no sex is safest against the prevention of pregnancy and disease (and looking like a whore) I am raising my 18 year old sister whom is a virgin and most of her friends do not have sex and the ones that have she has stopped being friends with because acording to her a person changes afetr sex. she has told me she probably wont wait for marrige and I am betting she will have sex with her current boyfriend but not any time soon. she will be marrying this guy through as he has brought up his desire to marry her as has she. I agree with you about people matureing at diferent ages but where I am from you cant even rent an apartment until you are 18, you cant apply for credit, you cant even get a job as a waitress, you cant vote ect ect ect. If a 14 yr old has sex and a child results from it and they choose to keep the baby how will they care for it? they cant unless they live with their mom and dad and in my opinion you should not have babies until you can be financially reasponsible for them and living at home with mommy and daddy is not being financially reasponsible for them. now if you wait to have sex until you have the means to care for a child if that should result than that is the reasponsible thing to do. if you are unprepared to handle the consequnses than you should not be having sex, even if you are the most mature 16 yr old on the planet.

Amanda - posted on 06/26/2009

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Quoting Genah:

I am reading a lot of responses to the SEX topic and the common theme seems to be religion .With the Bible holding the answers to your questions of when a human is either ready or worthy of SEX.
I think we are missing the mark on the question.
The best gift you can give your child is unconditional love and self worth, the rest will take care of itself.
As parents don't be niave to think you are going to know all that they think,see or do.
Raise them with self worth and encourage them from your heart. Lead by example and you have fullfilled your role as a parent.
Don't get bogged down in society's rights and wrongs.


most of the posts I have read about waiting have no religious context what so ever. just some common sense.

Joy - posted on 06/26/2009

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well i have two girls reaching their teens and i had my first at 19 (which although i was very mature was def not ready for) The way i deal with this is not to drill them about abstinence. im not niave enough to think that will stop them from doing it, instead i rehearse situations they may find themselves in and what their options are. i also repeatedly remind them that every choice has a consequence both physically and mentally and they better be ready for the consequence when they make their choices.

Sarah - posted on 06/25/2009

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Many of you don't know the pressures of today's world. I am in a very loving and committed relationship but I am not married. I am 8 weeks off having our first child, and alot of people think I am too young at 19. But the reality is it differs with each person. You cannot stand by the old saying "no sex before marriage" anymore, it is too old fashioned in these times. Mostly it is a personal preference. I have nothing against those who wish to wait for marriage, but what about those who don't believe in marriage? Does that mean they will be denied children and a sexual relationship with someone they love because of their beliefs? There are so many religions and so many beliefs nowadays it is too hard to be prejudice. As for "Children" having sex, then it depends. You cannot say that a child is to a certain age, because each person and gender is different. For example, saying that everyone is a child until they are 18 is all very well, but you can get some men or women who are older then that and nowhere near emotionally ready. In saying that, you can have a 16 year old who is emotionally mature and in a committed relationship who cannot be pushed down by society's rules. That is my personal opinion on the matter, and I don't deny anyone else their opinion neither, as everyone is entitled :-).

Sarah - posted on 06/25/2009

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Many of you don't know the pressures of today's world. I am in a very loving and committed relationship but I am not married. I am 8 weeks off having our first child, and alot of people think I am too young at 19. But the reality is it differs with each person. You cannot stand by the old saying "no sex before marriage" anymore, it is too old fashioned in these times. Mostly it is a personal preference. I have nothing against those who wish to wait for marriage, but what about those who don't believe in marriage? Does that mean they will be denied children and a sexual relationship with someone they love because of their beliefs? There are so many religions and so many beliefs nowadays it is too hard to be prejudice. As for "Children" having sex, then it depends. You cannot say that a child is to a certain age, because each person and gender is different. For example, saying that everyone is a child until they are 18 is all very well, but you can get some men or women who are older then that and nowhere near emotionally ready. In saying that, you can have a 16 year old who is emotionally mature and in a committed relationship who cannot be pushed down by society's rules. That is my personal opinion on the matter, and I don't deny anyone else their opinion neither, as everyone is entitled :-).

Sarah - posted on 06/25/2009

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Many of you don't know the pressures of today's world. I am in a very loving and committed relationship but I am not married. I am 8 weeks off having our first child, and alot of people think I am too young at 19. But the reality is it differs with each person. You cannot stand by the old saying "no sex before marriage" anymore, it is too old fashioned in these times. Mostly it is a personal preference. I have nothing against those who wish to wait for marriage, but what about those who don't believe in marriage? Does that mean they will be denied children and a sexual relationship with someone they love because of their beliefs? There are so many religions and so many beliefs nowadays it is too hard to be prejudice. As for "Children" having sex, then it depends. You cannot say that a child is to a certain age, because each person and gender is different. For example, saying that everyone is a child until they are 18 is all very well, but you can get some men or women who are older then that and nowhere near emotionally ready. In saying that, you can have a 16 year old who is emotionally mature and in a committed relationship who cannot be pushed down by society's rules. That is my personal opinion on the matter, and I don't deny anyone else their opinion neither, as everyone is entitled :-).

Amanda - posted on 06/25/2009

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Quoting Jen:

Get out of the clouds people. All this talk of "in the real world" and "kids should wait for marriage". LOOK AT SOCIETY!!!!
All you see on tv is sex, PG-13, Rated R. We all see it. How is a "child or pre-teen" supposed to ignore that.
Im not all for anything like "lets let kids have sex whenever they want" No way.
But if you have a good relationship with your child and if you model a good relationship through your marriage. That will help your child understand what a couple or marriage looks like.
Teach your kids not to fall under peer pressure. Its not that hard. I do have 2 pre teens and yes we have talked to them about the subject and what their responsibilities as boys are when it comes to being young men.
You can't MAKE kids do anything. All you can do is teach them and help guide them the right way.
Its not rocket science. And it's not always Religious (oh she waited cause she was Christian). No its called being responsible. Come on people. Give me a break. We're not in Pleasantville here.


yeah get out of the clouds jen. you ever hear of my roof my rules? since when to kids dictate what they or we do.



we are the parents, we had them , we care for them so we decide how it is they will live their lives until they become mature responsible adults and can prove that they can handle themselves apropriatley in the real world.



why is it a lot of you let the kids rule the roost, let them tell you what it is they will be doing. how about steping up and telling them what is expected.



my teen doesnt have sex because she knows it is 100% unacceptable in our house. how do i know she isnt doing it? because I am a bloody hawk, i see, hear and know EVERYTHING that she is up to at every hour of the day.



if parents got more involved in what their kids were up to than there would be a hell of a lot less babies having babies.



think about it

Genah - posted on 06/25/2009

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I am reading a lot of responses to the SEX topic and the common theme seems to be religion .With the Bible holding the answers to your questions of when a human is either ready or worthy of SEX.

I think we are missing the mark on the question.

The best gift you can give your child is unconditional love and self worth, the rest will take care of itself.

As parents don't be niave to think you are going to know all that they think,see or do.

Raise them with self worth and encourage them from your heart. Lead by example and you have fullfilled your role as a parent.

Don't get bogged down in society's rights and wrongs.

Kate - posted on 06/25/2009

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Our children will be taught that sex is for married adults. Period. Now, whether or not they'll follow that when they are ADULTS is up to them. I cannot dictate what they choose and how they behave when they are older and outside my sight/house. But we will teach them WHY sex is best saved for marriage and share with them honestly. CHILDREN should never have sex!!

Amanda - posted on 06/25/2009

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I am not a religious person so please dont throw that at me.

I really feel that after reading a lot of the comments on here that we have some serious problems in society. It is not ok for children to be out having sex, not once not 100 times, never is it ok. This really seems like a no brainer to me. some of you said teens have sex because it is fun, yes that is true sex is fun and it should be shared between 2 ADULTS who are in a long term loving commited relationship and not between kids who often have fluctuating hormones and emotions and will often times regret their decision later on. I think it is very sad that some teens (not all as there are still some decent ones) are so desensitized to sex today. I dont think people see it as something that is intimate and serious. Sex is seen as just another leisurley activity by many and that is wrong. I see teen girls and even some old ladies out wearing skirts that look like a belt and shirts that look like skanky bras and platform shoes and they think it is ok. am I the only person in the world that feels that there must be something wrong with our society if this is seen to be the norm?

why do I see all these parents saying they are going to do it anyway so just give them condoms. What happend to faith in our children to make the right choice (to wait) do yuo people honestly feel that it is fine for your kids to have sex with multiple partners at say age 15? have any of you ever thought that if your daughter had sex with 1 person but that person was not a virgin that your child has just been exposed to not only that 1 she had sex with but also everyone they have had sex with and so on and so on. this is why we have rapid spread of disease people. and yes they can try to protect themselves but I will tell you this. THE ONLY SAFE SEX IS NO SEX AT ALL!!! there are pleanty of other ways for people to show affection that does not involve sex.

you mothers need to show some love and respect to your daughters and teach them the right. Thats what our children are asking for anyway. they dont want a permission slip to "do it" they want you to be a mother and tell them its not ok. to teach them to value them selves and their bodies. A little bit of parenting would go a long way here, it worked in my house.

Tammie - posted on 06/25/2009

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As a mom of 5 girls. Ages 18,17,15 ,14 and 17months. None of them are ready for sex. But I know all i can do as a parent is to talk to them. But we can't always be there for every minute of their lives. I as a mom had my girls experiance first hand of my pregnance and had them in the delivery room with natural delivery. I wanted them to see first hand what to expect. My girls have told me they are not ready for babies. So if they do decide to have sex. I hope they do it safley because there is more to it then sex it can mess with emotions. My oldest has serveral friends at school and having babies she says no way is she ready for that. So moms keep talking to them and if they are in a relationship talk to the boy. He may not like it but he needs to know how you feel about it.

Diane - posted on 06/25/2009

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Well if we're talking about when they are teenagers......nope, probably not. But then I have to think about what I did as a teenager. I accept the fact that my children will more than likely be having sex before they finish high school. My husband and I both agree that are efforts will be better spent teaching them about responsibility and protection. I'm more concerned with STD's and teen pregnancy than whether or not they are having sex. It's a topic we plan on being very open about.

Amber - posted on 06/25/2009

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Being a more realistic and non-religious person, I'd say any individual is ready for sex when they feel they are ready. Teach them to respect themselves and others and they won't go out having mindless sex unless it's what they truly want. There's nothing morally wrong with having sex premaritaly, unless of course you're religious, but I will assume that the original poster is not given the question. Just ensure the kid has extremely decent sex ed - that can be a life saver :)

[deleted account]

Sex is something shared between two people who love each other and when it comes to male/female relationships, they don't know what love really is yet.



Also gay couples

Michelle - posted on 06/25/2009

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No! Child means just that...a child! Sex is something shared between two people who love each other and when it comes to male/female relationships, they don't know what love really is yet. If they think it is ok now and this "relationship" turns out to be a one month thing, then they'll be on to the next one and the next one, and so on. If we all had sex with every boyfriend we had in our teenage years, we would really be ashamed of ourselves now. Well, I would be anyway...I should speak for myself.

Benita - posted on 06/24/2009

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I'm currently 15 turnign 16 and honestly i wish i would have waited. Even after having safe sex i still got pregnant. Tell your children to wait until they're ready. It will be the best thing you can do for them. Yea, sex is fun while it is happening but what happens later can turn a teens life upside down just because they wanted to experience some fun.

Hannah - posted on 06/24/2009

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I think it's funny how people are saying "no CHILD is ready for sex." I will still call my son my "child" when he's 26 years old.



but uhhhhh no, he's not even 2, LOL. I don't believe in waiting until marraige to have sex, so I wont teach my son that. It's competely a personal choice. I didnt' wait until I was married and if I could go back and change that, I wouldn't. But at the same time, I will teach him that sex is for two people who really care about each other and are committed to each other and I will teach him about all the consequences of having sex, etc.

Hannah - posted on 06/24/2009

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I think it's funny how people are saying "no CHILD is ready for sex." I will still call my son my "child" when he's 26 years old.



but uhhhhh no, he's not even 2, LOL. I don't believe in waiting until marraige to have sex, so I wont teach my son that. It's competely a personal choice. I didnt' wait until I was married and if I could go back and change that, I wouldn't. But at the same time, I will teach him that sex is for two people who really care about each other and are committed to each other and I will teach him about all the consequences of having sex, etc.

Maria Cecilia - posted on 06/24/2009

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my son is a healthy boy and only drinks healthy drinks ! never alcohol!!to bissi

Maria Cecilia - posted on 06/24/2009

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Quoting Lisamarie:

why are you letting your child drink?? i dont  and he does not like to drink alcohol 


 

Tania - posted on 06/24/2009

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Quoting Trina:



Quoting Amanda:




Quoting Terri:

Okay, I want to start this post by making it very clear that this is my opinion, and while I feel a lot of judgement going on in this posting, there is none here.
I am 24 years old, with a 10 month old daughter. I am an agnostic, which means that the bible is nothing more than a best-selling work of fiction to me. When I was young, I was your typical wild-child. I had sex when I was 13. I drank and did drugs. I had sex with multiple partners, male and female. I don't regret one little bit of it. I have been with my mate for 4 years, and we have no plans to be married. Everyone is entitled to raise their children as they see fit. My parents have 3 children, I am the only one who went wild. I did it because I enjoyed it, not because my parents were over-bearing or my friends pressured me into it. I went to church every sunday until I was 14 years old. Sadly, a lot of parents are going to have to deal with teenage pregnancy, drug abuse, alcohol abuse. My opinion? The best way to deal with it is to be as open and honest with your kids as you want them to be with you. Will I give my daughter all the gory details of my past? If it will help her future, you're damn right. I will also make sure to tell her the dangers of my old lifestyle, and explain that the best way is the way that feels right to you. I will NOT be an over-bearing, hyper-critical mother, because I've seen the results of that. I will NOT drink and do drugs and party with my child, because I've seen the results of that. When she turns 13, I will NOT buy her the pill or condoms, because I've seen the results of that. But to be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure what I will do. She will not be raised in a hyper-religious house-hold, because I don't believe in it. She will not be raised in a house-hold that allows her the freedom to become a mother at the age of 14, because I won't allow that. But with any luck, she will be raised to be a well- balanced girl who thinks about her choices before she makes them. I will encourage that.

I just want to add to the mother who said something along the lines of "they're not all trashy, there are some decent girls left"...WAY OUT OF LINE. You're talking about peoples children.







hey if they are going to be out skanking it up than the term trashy is very fitting










MY CHILDREN ARE NOT TRASHY i have 3 children and my oldest is 15yrs she is very responsible and mature for her age and has alot of respect for herself you are WRONG to say trashy





Wow another ty goes out to Terri, I think it was Terri who talked about her wild child years, if it wasn't I apologize.  I too had that label of "wild child"  but I started most of it when I was almost 15, same stuff though.  I am 34 and have a 13 yr old son and we talk openly and honestly about everything, even my past.  I learned alot from my "wild child' experiences and am certainly not that same person I was then either, there is no shame in talking about it with my son, it always turns into an amazing discussion that we both learn from.  Children live what they learn, so teach well and treat others the way you would want to be treated-- Yes that "trashy" comment was out of line and so are the comments that push religion into every single topic out there and use it to condemn others' views.  I could go on and on but I won't because sometimes I am very opinionated....yes I am not perfect ;)

Tania - posted on 06/24/2009

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Quoting LaCi:

I'm glad I'm an atheist and I can keep jesus out of my bedroom. I'm very glad I'm not married, have a fantastic sex life and a wonderful commitment to my child's father without all this author and creator nonsense involved.



Thank you so much for saying what I kind of wanted to say.  I want to live my life without wondering if I am sinning myself to hell and back.  (I won't elaborate on that either lol)  I am new here and, although I have similar views, would probably have been condemned for my views, so ty again.

Trina - posted on 06/24/2009

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Quoting Amanda:



Quoting Terri:

Okay, I want to start this post by making it very clear that this is my opinion, and while I feel a lot of judgement going on in this posting, there is none here.
I am 24 years old, with a 10 month old daughter. I am an agnostic, which means that the bible is nothing more than a best-selling work of fiction to me. When I was young, I was your typical wild-child. I had sex when I was 13. I drank and did drugs. I had sex with multiple partners, male and female. I don't regret one little bit of it. I have been with my mate for 4 years, and we have no plans to be married. Everyone is entitled to raise their children as they see fit. My parents have 3 children, I am the only one who went wild. I did it because I enjoyed it, not because my parents were over-bearing or my friends pressured me into it. I went to church every sunday until I was 14 years old. Sadly, a lot of parents are going to have to deal with teenage pregnancy, drug abuse, alcohol abuse. My opinion? The best way to deal with it is to be as open and honest with your kids as you want them to be with you. Will I give my daughter all the gory details of my past? If it will help her future, you're damn right. I will also make sure to tell her the dangers of my old lifestyle, and explain that the best way is the way that feels right to you. I will NOT be an over-bearing, hyper-critical mother, because I've seen the results of that. I will NOT drink and do drugs and party with my child, because I've seen the results of that. When she turns 13, I will NOT buy her the pill or condoms, because I've seen the results of that. But to be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure what I will do. She will not be raised in a hyper-religious house-hold, because I don't believe in it. She will not be raised in a house-hold that allows her the freedom to become a mother at the age of 14, because I won't allow that. But with any luck, she will be raised to be a well- balanced girl who thinks about her choices before she makes them. I will encourage that.

I just want to add to the mother who said something along the lines of "they're not all trashy, there are some decent girls left"...WAY OUT OF LINE. You're talking about peoples children.





hey if they are going to be out skanking it up than the term trashy is very fitting






MY CHILDREN ARE NOT TRASHY i have 3 children and my oldest is 15yrs she is very responsible and mature for her age and has alot of respect for herself you are WRONG to say trashy

Trina - posted on 06/24/2009

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Quoting Amanda:



Quoting Terri:

Okay, I want to start this post by making it very clear that this is my opinion, and while I feel a lot of judgement going on in this posting, there is none here.
I am 24 years old, with a 10 month old daughter. I am an agnostic, which means that the bible is nothing more than a best-selling work of fiction to me. When I was young, I was your typical wild-child. I had sex when I was 13. I drank and did drugs. I had sex with multiple partners, male and female. I don't regret one little bit of it. I have been with my mate for 4 years, and we have no plans to be married. Everyone is entitled to raise their children as they see fit. My parents have 3 children, I am the only one who went wild. I did it because I enjoyed it, not because my parents were over-bearing or my friends pressured me into it. I went to church every sunday until I was 14 years old. Sadly, a lot of parents are going to have to deal with teenage pregnancy, drug abuse, alcohol abuse. My opinion? The best way to deal with it is to be as open and honest with your kids as you want them to be with you. Will I give my daughter all the gory details of my past? If it will help her future, you're damn right. I will also make sure to tell her the dangers of my old lifestyle, and explain that the best way is the way that feels right to you. I will NOT be an over-bearing, hyper-critical mother, because I've seen the results of that. I will NOT drink and do drugs and party with my child, because I've seen the results of that. When she turns 13, I will NOT buy her the pill or condoms, because I've seen the results of that. But to be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure what I will do. She will not be raised in a hyper-religious house-hold, because I don't believe in it. She will not be raised in a house-hold that allows her the freedom to become a mother at the age of 14, because I won't allow that. But with any luck, she will be raised to be a well- balanced girl who thinks about her choices before she makes them. I will encourage that.

I just want to add to the mother who said something along the lines of "they're not all trashy, there are some decent girls left"...WAY OUT OF LINE. You're talking about peoples children.





hey if they are going to be out skanking it up than the term trashy is very fitting






MY CHILDREN ARE NOT TRASHY i have 3 children and my oldest is 15yrs she is very responsible and mature for her age and has alot of respect for herself you are WRONG to say trashy

Trina - posted on 06/24/2009

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Quoting Amanda:



Quoting Terri:

Okay, I want to start this post by making it very clear that this is my opinion, and while I feel a lot of judgement going on in this posting, there is none here.
I am 24 years old, with a 10 month old daughter. I am an agnostic, which means that the bible is nothing more than a best-selling work of fiction to me. When I was young, I was your typical wild-child. I had sex when I was 13. I drank and did drugs. I had sex with multiple partners, male and female. I don't regret one little bit of it. I have been with my mate for 4 years, and we have no plans to be married. Everyone is entitled to raise their children as they see fit. My parents have 3 children, I am the only one who went wild. I did it because I enjoyed it, not because my parents were over-bearing or my friends pressured me into it. I went to church every sunday until I was 14 years old. Sadly, a lot of parents are going to have to deal with teenage pregnancy, drug abuse, alcohol abuse. My opinion? The best way to deal with it is to be as open and honest with your kids as you want them to be with you. Will I give my daughter all the gory details of my past? If it will help her future, you're damn right. I will also make sure to tell her the dangers of my old lifestyle, and explain that the best way is the way that feels right to you. I will NOT be an over-bearing, hyper-critical mother, because I've seen the results of that. I will NOT drink and do drugs and party with my child, because I've seen the results of that. When she turns 13, I will NOT buy her the pill or condoms, because I've seen the results of that. But to be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure what I will do. She will not be raised in a hyper-religious house-hold, because I don't believe in it. She will not be raised in a house-hold that allows her the freedom to become a mother at the age of 14, because I won't allow that. But with any luck, she will be raised to be a well- balanced girl who thinks about her choices before she makes them. I will encourage that.

I just want to add to the mother who said something along the lines of "they're not all trashy, there are some decent girls left"...WAY OUT OF LINE. You're talking about peoples children.





hey if they are going to be out skanking it up than the term trashy is very fitting






MY CHILDREN ARE NOT TRASHY i have 3 children and my oldest is 15yrs she is very responsible and mature for her age and has alot of respect for herself you are WRONG to say trashy

Cindy - posted on 06/24/2009

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Well, parents they ask for your permission to let your kid be involved in the sexual education at school as early as grade school ages. And they are not just teaching them that there is a difference between boys and girls, and now I hear they are going to use SpongeBob to promote Homosexuallity. You will have no say so in the curriculum that will be taught when you give permission for sex ed to be taught to you child. So I just believe that this world is coming to a close and it shows in the kind of morals that are acceptable by the general public, or maybe it is just a few, in the media, that make it popular for the rest of us wether we believe in them or not. So it is up to parents to teach their children moral values, and that they can come home and tell what the schools are trying to teach them, and can understand that not everything that they learn in school is correct, right, and acceptable.

[deleted account]

all i can say is just because you can, doesnt mean you should...and kids will do what they will do no matter what you think...arm them with the facts and make sure they know about consequences, std's, pregnancy, abandonment and if they are girls tell them all about hpv, encourage them to have self respect and congratulate them for resisting those impulses. Let them know that even oral sex has consequences, and the best way to learn about people is to see them naked and lustful...not too pretty a picture. Take them on a shopping trip for condoms and lube, and be really obvious about it...embarrassment can do wonders!

Trina - posted on 06/24/2009

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Quoting Debbie:

I dont agree with that post...but sex should be with someone you love, could be male or female. Honestly dont see what marriage has to do with sex, that is about commitment more than anything else. Some people chose to live together without getting married. But the main thing needed for consenting sex is respect, love and maturity....teens having sex isnt a good thing, they dont have the maturity to deal with all the issues that come along once they start having sex.



I agree with you Debbie and no matter what any parent said there teenage kids will have sex if they think they are reading you just have to make sure they do it safe as to use condoms and the pill and alot of couples don't want to get married they are happy with just living together

LaCi - posted on 06/24/2009

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Quoting Amanda:



Quoting Terri:

Okay, I want to start this post by making it very clear that this is my opinion, and while I feel a lot of judgement going on in this posting, there is none here.
I am 24 years old, with a 10 month old daughter. I am an agnostic, which means that the bible is nothing more than a best-selling work of fiction to me. When I was young, I was your typical wild-child. I had sex when I was 13. I drank and did drugs. I had sex with multiple partners, male and female. I don't regret one little bit of it. I have been with my mate for 4 years, and we have no plans to be married. Everyone is entitled to raise their children as they see fit. My parents have 3 children, I am the only one who went wild. I did it because I enjoyed it, not because my parents were over-bearing or my friends pressured me into it. I went to church every sunday until I was 14 years old. Sadly, a lot of parents are going to have to deal with teenage pregnancy, drug abuse, alcohol abuse. My opinion? The best way to deal with it is to be as open and honest with your kids as you want them to be with you. Will I give my daughter all the gory details of my past? If it will help her future, you're damn right. I will also make sure to tell her the dangers of my old lifestyle, and explain that the best way is the way that feels right to you. I will NOT be an over-bearing, hyper-critical mother, because I've seen the results of that. I will NOT drink and do drugs and party with my child, because I've seen the results of that. When she turns 13, I will NOT buy her the pill or condoms, because I've seen the results of that. But to be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure what I will do. She will not be raised in a hyper-religious house-hold, because I don't believe in it. She will not be raised in a house-hold that allows her the freedom to become a mother at the age of 14, because I won't allow that. But with any luck, she will be raised to be a well- balanced girl who thinks about her choices before she makes them. I will encourage that.

I just want to add to the mother who said something along the lines of "they're not all trashy, there are some decent girls left"...WAY OUT OF LINE. You're talking about peoples children.





hey if they are going to be out skanking it up than the term trashy is very fitting





 



I'd hardly call being a sexually active teen "skanking it up"



 



Maybe the girls we see testing 8 fathers for paternity of talk shows... and none of them are



 



I enjoyed sex as a teen, still maintained fantastic scores, took my precautions, and was by no means skanky. I just enjoyed sex. As most people do. whoopitydo. 



 



 

Christine - posted on 06/23/2009

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sex is an adult behaviour. i want my child to be clear that if you want the privileges and benefits of an adult, you have to be prepared to take on the responsibilities.
hopefully the voice of reason can overpower that overwhelming, hormone saturated urge to act now-now-now :)

Brooke - posted on 06/23/2009

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Quoting Melissa:



Quoting Dea:

Education is the main key here. My parents always (ALWAYS) talked everyday with me about sex. Everyday my dad made sure that I knew how my brothers (3 older ones) where just using girls, making them lose their virginity and them dump them. I was bad for them but I learn the lesson. While my girlfriends were having sex I waited until I was 2o with the one I chose, when I felt I was ready, not with the first one o the sporadic one. My son, now 19 is been having sex with his girlfriend for the last 3 years. Her mom got her the birth control pill and they are together, happy and who knows, maybe they will be married because they were ready!! They are both responsible and we talk to them often about possibilities. No babies for now! I am not ready to be a Grandma!! I am only 48!!!





my cousin is about to be a grand ma next month and she is 37 :) her mother had she been alive would have been a great grand mother at 53. shocking hey. thats what happens when the whole family has kids at 16 lol





I honestly don't see the problem with this, my family is the same. My daughhter's nan and pop are 40 on my partners side then her great nan's are 59, 57 and 61 then her great great nans are 90 and 89.



I love the fact my daughter has had this rare oppurunity. 

Amanda - posted on 06/23/2009

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Quoting Terri:

Okay, I want to start this post by making it very clear that this is my opinion, and while I feel a lot of judgement going on in this posting, there is none here.
I am 24 years old, with a 10 month old daughter. I am an agnostic, which means that the bible is nothing more than a best-selling work of fiction to me. When I was young, I was your typical wild-child. I had sex when I was 13. I drank and did drugs. I had sex with multiple partners, male and female. I don't regret one little bit of it. I have been with my mate for 4 years, and we have no plans to be married. Everyone is entitled to raise their children as they see fit. My parents have 3 children, I am the only one who went wild. I did it because I enjoyed it, not because my parents were over-bearing or my friends pressured me into it. I went to church every sunday until I was 14 years old. Sadly, a lot of parents are going to have to deal with teenage pregnancy, drug abuse, alcohol abuse. My opinion? The best way to deal with it is to be as open and honest with your kids as you want them to be with you. Will I give my daughter all the gory details of my past? If it will help her future, you're damn right. I will also make sure to tell her the dangers of my old lifestyle, and explain that the best way is the way that feels right to you. I will NOT be an over-bearing, hyper-critical mother, because I've seen the results of that. I will NOT drink and do drugs and party with my child, because I've seen the results of that. When she turns 13, I will NOT buy her the pill or condoms, because I've seen the results of that. But to be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure what I will do. She will not be raised in a hyper-religious house-hold, because I don't believe in it. She will not be raised in a house-hold that allows her the freedom to become a mother at the age of 14, because I won't allow that. But with any luck, she will be raised to be a well- balanced girl who thinks about her choices before she makes them. I will encourage that.

I just want to add to the mother who said something along the lines of "they're not all trashy, there are some decent girls left"...WAY OUT OF LINE. You're talking about peoples children.


hey if they are going to be out skanking it up than the term trashy is very fitting

Amanda - posted on 06/23/2009

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Quoting Lisamarie:

why are you letting your child drink??


she is not my child she is my sister whom i have custody of and she is 18 so she is legally alowed to drink

Dori - posted on 06/23/2009

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"Child" is not synonymous with "sex". The question itself is contradictory in my opinion. No, no child is ready for sex!!
None of mine are, 15, 13, 8 and 2. I have encouraged them to wait until marriage. Although I know once they are on their own, married or not, I have no control over this.

Lynn - posted on 06/23/2009

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I have a son 14 and a daughter 16. Sexuality permeates music, tv and movies - you have to talk about what's right in your face. Watch and listen together, ask them what they think. Give them a safe forum for talking, by it being about the characters on the show. For teen girls - take a women's self defense class. The boys - let them see how important fathers are. Advise them to wait (preferably til marriage), but prepare them to handle the consequences of becoming sexually active.

Sarah - posted on 06/23/2009

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Wow. Okay. I love all this talk about how kids have to make their own decisions blah blah blah. Okay, you are the parent. As long as your kid lives under your roof, there are rules to be followed or there are consequences. Are you seriously telling me that if your kid came home an hour after curfew that you would just say, "Well, I guess he was ready to stay out later." Or if you kid took the car without permission would you just say, "Well, I guess she was ready to make her own decisions in that area."??? Please! Once your kid moves out, it's all them, but while they live with you, be the adult! I know we live in a sex-saturated culture, but it wasn't that different 6 years ago when it was me, alone at school with my boyfriend and every opportunity to do whatever we wanted, AND CHOSE NOT TO. And all this stuff about how kids will have sex if they want regardless of what you say? That's a total parenting cop-out. Yes, they may, but that's no excuse not to try to teach them the healthiest way! I was married first. 90+% of my friends were married first. And no, I didn't go to some Christian or Catholic school or any of that. We just had a higher standard that said, "I am worth someone who will commit to me and only me forever. No one gets the gift of me without a ring on my finger and a marriage license because that is how precious a gift I am!" If your son or daughter believes that about themselves and those they date, they will wait too. It's every bit as important a decision as a career path, a marriage partner, children etc. The sexual experiences a child (i.e. non-adult) has will affect how they view themselves, their partners, and their world, so why not try to give them the best outlook possible?

Elaine - posted on 06/23/2009

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Is your child ready to be a parent?? Then he is probably not ready for sex!! The world we live in today is a mess-one of the reasons I think is because people do not think about the consequences for their actions!!

[deleted account]

I don't believe sex should be only for married couples. What happends if your not sexually compatible, sex causes problems in marriages/relationships?.



I don't believe in children having sex either.



My sister lost her virginity at the age of 16 to a boy she thougth loved her. I waited until I met "the one" and lost mine, at 21 and I'm now happily engaged and a Mum to a 1 year old.

Betty - posted on 06/23/2009

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The word child and the word sex do not go together. Sex is for adults only.

Jess - posted on 06/22/2009

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i think you need to specify how old because child could mean under 10 or could mean 15-17 so really it can't be answered correctly with not enough information.

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