it bothers me that no one ever assumes im the mom. or if i am im wayyy to young. i guess i dont look my age im 25 almost 26 with a 2.4 year old and im pregnant with my second boy. my little guy doesnt look much like me. should i let something so silly bother me???

Jodi - posted on 04/30/2010

Thank you ladies. This thread is over 12 months old, so I am locking it.

Jodi Adams
WtCoM Moderator

Akeisha - posted on 04/30/2010

I wouldnt let it bother me... I am a mother of 4 and I am only 24 years old, so I get comments all the time, like are they all yours and etc. There will always be people saying things like that probably because youre not aging quick...just be happy with your children!!

Sarah - posted on 04/28/2009

I had this same problem/concern. I was 25 when I had my first boy and 27 when I had my second, and I got looks from people all the time and it used to bother me, and then I got thinking "Wait a minute, these people are strangers, they don't know me, so why should their dirty looks bother me?" At times I felt like wearing a sign that said "YES, I'M THEIR MOM AND IF YOU WANT TO KNOW I'M 27 YRS OLD. NOW GO GET A LIFE AND STOP ASSUMING THINGS" but I realized that would be kinda rude lol. So my advice is just to let it go. People assume too much these days. They don't know you and you know that you are the mom and it doesn't matter what others think.

Sara - posted on 04/27/2009

You shouldn't let it bother you. Its a compliment in my opinion if someone thinks you look to young to have children :)

Shannon - posted on 04/27/2009

I had to respond to this!!!!!!! AH I'm glad someone else feels that way!!! I have an 11 month old little boy, am married, am a University graduate, and often times, I am looked at like I am a teenage mother.. You wouldn't even believe the nurses in the hospital gave me strange looks until they saw a) my husband or b) my age on my hospital bracelet. I even had a women, when I was signing up for prenatal classes, direct me to a free prenatal class for unwed, teenage mothers... I cried when that one happened, and then got angry. I looked at the nurse and asked her kindly what right she had to assume that I was young, and in assuming I was young, what right she had to assume I had no money to pay for prenatal classes or that I was unwed. My mother was 17 when she had my brother, and let me tell you, my brother is an upstanding individual. Regardless of age, if you are 30 or 20, the decision to be a mother is yours and people that make snide remarks or shoot nasty glares need to check themselves and wonder what makes them so high and mighty.



Now when I get remarks like "you look so young to be a mother", "you look so young to be married".. I say, "Yes.. and what a great thing it is to be young!"

Jessica - posted on 04/27/2009

no kiddin! i am 23 and have a 4 1/2 yr old and a two month old... both girls... but when my 4 yr old was about 1 i had to take her to the hospital where she got an MRI... everyone came with me to the hospital, her dad, my dad, and her dads parents... anyways, she was screamin for mommy so i went to walk in, and the dr. put up his hand to stop me from going in... and motioned for her grandpa to come on in... i was furious! finally one of the nurses told him i was her mom, and not till then, did he let me in. ... it still kinda angers me, but, honestly, its a simple mistake. i did (and still do) look too young.



but now that i have two, people kinda get the drift, theyre probably mine... however, i do meet a lot of people who ask how old i am... but they ususally wait till its our third or so conversation to ask... haha... but im so proud of my kids and i love them so much! im not embarrassed to say how old i am, how old they are, or any other info they may ask... asking the question or not asking, doesnt change the real answer... :) thats how i think of it.

Melissa - posted on 04/27/2009

I'm young myself, only 23, and my little girl is mistaken for my neice or even better yet, I'm mistaken for the babysitter. The way I figure it, at least when I'm 30, I can finally look forward to looking my age now. lol

Tiffany - posted on 04/27/2009

don't let it get you down. those that say those things to you are just upset that they themselves have been graced with the unfortunate luck of looking way to old for their age. I myself will be 23 in November and I can barely pass for 18. But I look at it as a gift, no extra moisturizer for me in 20 years! =]

Tiffany - posted on 04/27/2009

don't let it get you down. those that say those things to you are just upset that they themselves have been graced with the unfortunate luck of looking way to old for their age. I myself will be 23 in November and I can barely pass for 18. But I look at it as a gift, no extra moisturizer for me in 20 years! =]

Denise - posted on 04/27/2009

I had the same issue when I was young and had my kids...the good thing was my son is now 25 years old and because I look young...people cannot believe I have a 25 yr old son...take it with a grain of salt.

Randell - posted on 04/27/2009

I wouldnt let it bother you at all, im 22 and look my age but Im still on my P plates as I got my license late and I get looks too =( Ive even had people come up to me and tell me im obviously too young to have a baby as Im a teenager!!! Im say sorry but your wrong Im actually 22!!

Becky - posted on 04/27/2009

Quoting Rebecca:

a MUCH older woman said to me in line at a grocery store ... "you ought to be ashamed of yourself!" while looking at my very pregnant belly and then at my toddler. Shocked, I asked what on earth I should be ashamed of and she told me teenage pregnancy is unacceptable and that my POOR son would have been better off having been an abortion or adopted to someone with the grownup skills to raise him. I very angrily replied "not that it is ANY of your business but I am 26 years old and will be 27 by the time my daughter is born. My children have a VERY good life!" She was not even apologetic!

On another glorious occasion, again a much older woman, told me I should take my son into the restroom to nurse him. I told her she should eat her meal in there then!

I stewed in the anger of these things for hours until I realized, you know, WHO CARES!!! I'm glad I look way younger than I am. I'm glad I'm able to nurse my babies. I just don't care what other people think anymore and neither should you. Just enjoy your babies!!!

i have just one thing to say to you rebecca. well done. well bloody done!!!

i work at the checkouts in a major supermarket, and a customer once told me it was disgusting to have a child at my age.(i was 18 when my son was bon). like you i got very angry and asked her what the hell it had to do with her. she went and made a complaint about me and i got a good telling off from my manager. i dont see any problem standing up for yourself

keep looking after your kids and carry on the way your are going. your children will be very proud of you

take care.

becky

Becky - posted on 04/27/2009

i am also in the same boat as you. ive just turned 21 an my son is nearly 3. i hate the comment "you dont look old enuff to have a baby." how old do you need to look for it to be acceptible? (sorry if thats spelt wrong haha)
you know who you are and so do your kids. who cares what other peope think. you know your a good mum ans d as long as you love your kids thats all that matters
take care

Becky - posted on 04/27/2009

i am also in the same boat as you. ive just turned 21 an my son is nearly 3. i hate the comment "you dont look old enuff to have a baby." how old do you need to look for it to be acceptible? (sorry if thats spelt wrong haha)
you know who you are and so do your kids. who cares what other peope think. you know your a good mum ans d as long as you love your kids thats all that matters
take care

Rebecca - posted on 04/27/2009

a MUCH older woman said to me in line at a grocery store ... "you ought to be ashamed of yourself!" while looking at my very pregnant belly and then at my toddler. Shocked, I asked what on earth I should be ashamed of and she told me teenage pregnancy is unacceptable and that my POOR son would have been better off having been an abortion or adopted to someone with the grownup skills to raise him. I very angrily replied "not that it is ANY of your business but I am 26 years old and will be 27 by the time my daughter is born. My children have a VERY good life!" She was not even apologetic!



On another glorious occasion, again a much older woman, told me I should take my son into the restroom to nurse him. I told her she should eat her meal in there then!



I stewed in the anger of these things for hours until I realized, you know, WHO CARES!!! I'm glad I look way younger than I am. I'm glad I'm able to nurse my babies. I just don't care what other people think anymore and neither should you. Just enjoy your babies!!!

Rebecca - posted on 04/27/2009

I understand exactly what you are going through. People often think I'm way too young to have 2 children a 5 year old daughter (soon to be 6) and a 4 year old son (soon to be 5) and I am almost 27. A lot of people still think that I'm a teenager! I hate it, but then again I look at the bright side of it too.........when we are older and in our 40's or 50's we won't look like we are!

Kimberly - posted on 04/27/2009

I have a three month old daughter and people always think she is my sisters. When I say she is mine they ask me "aren't you too young?" I know exactly how it feels. I had her a month before I turned 24. When I turned 21 and went to the bar for the first time the bartender card me and said you look like you are about 12. I have been married to my husband for 2 years and it does bother me when people look at me like I am too young but I know I shouldn't let it bother me because I know I am old enough. Your not alone.

Lynnel - posted on 04/27/2009

i have the opposite problem,,, people don't think i'm the mom either of my 2 1/2 year old, they always assume my other daughter (who is 20 yr. old) is . If i am out with all three of us people will bypass me and ask my older daughter questions about my little one assuming she is the mother . i guess they think being 41 is too old for me to be mom. so be happy they think your young!!! lol they could be thinking your too old like me lol!!!!

Catherine - posted on 04/27/2009

People will always say rude things. I have five children and you wouldn't believe how many people ask, in front of my children, if 1. they are all mine and then 2. if they all have the same dad? They are all mine and yes I have been ecstatically married for 11 years and they are all his. Enjoy looking young I had my oldest at 23 and my second one at 25 so you are right on track with what I did. I think it's fun to come up with shocking statements when people are being rude. When I was pregnant with my fourth or fifth many people would ask "don't you know what causes that", I like to reply "yes and I'm really good at it". They had no response for that one.

Keep your chin up and don't let the dummies out there hurt your feelings.

Shana - posted on 04/27/2009

If it makes you feel any better I'm 23 and pregnant with my first and I can't even pass as 18...most people peg me for a 16 or 17 year old. I already get funny looks when I tell people I'm pregnant. People used to look at me crazy whenever they would see me with a beer in my hand (pre-pregnancy...) You know who you are and what's what's important. I've learned to not let people who don't matter get to me.

Rachael - posted on 04/27/2009

I get it all the time! I know I look young and that's okay with me. I know that I will continue to look young when other people will age more quickly. It's a compliment for the future. You just have to have a mindset that other people's opinion doesn't really matter. They are your children, you love them and you know that you are an "acceptable" age. Just love your kids and the fact that you won't age as quickly!

Sara - posted on 04/27/2009

I right there with ya! I'm 25, will be 26 in Sept. and I have a 2 year old. I would get comments and rude looks from old ladies when I was pregnant and even when I first had my daughter unless my husband was with me (he's only 26, but actually looks 26) I had many people say things like "all these babies making babies that we pay for" and I would reply with "I'm 25, been married for over 5 years, tried for 3 years to get pregnant and I don't live off the government, I have a job, own my own home and love my child" If I even felt like giving them the time of day. Really, I understand how it can bother you, because it bothers me a lot. But we will look back some day and be thankful for our young appearance. I can't tell you to just let it go, because I don't, but I will say choose your battles. I don't get it so much because my little girl looks just like me, but I still get old lady stares. Just make sure you know that your 2.4 year is watching and learning from you, so only do what you think is right! Good luck and high five for all of us young looking hot mama's!

Nerissa - posted on 04/27/2009

i get the samething i am 27 with 4 kids ages 7,6,4,2. i get how sweet you keep your little brothers and sissters .when i tell them they are mine, then i get how could your mother let you have so many kids . then when i tell them my age they shut up. it dose not what age you look or are it is that kids know and love you,keep your head held high and dont worrie it will be ok

Robin - posted on 04/26/2009

I went through the same thing! I had my son when I was 21 and I always felt like the other Moms thought I was the nanny when I took him to his playgroup. He's 16 now and loves the fact that I am young and his friends think I'm "cool". Try to enjoy it! As a matter of fact one of his sisters teammates on her softball team the other day thought I was his girlfriend. HA-HA! Of course, I was flattered...he, not so much! :)

Lisa - posted on 04/26/2009

It use to bother me also. It still does from time to time. People can be so rude. Im going to be 34 and have a 10 and 15 year old. People think they are my sisters. Some times i just want people to know im the mom not the sister show some respect people.Just enjoy your youthfulness!!

Melissa - posted on 04/26/2009

happends to me all the time, they think im like 15 but realy im 21 with a 10 month old. It does bother me sometimes but i get over it

Chrystle - posted on 04/26/2009

Yeah i have the very same problem im only 22 and i have to kids under the ages of 2 and everyone thinks that im like my kids sister or something like that. And i do agree it does get pretty annoying. but hang in there.

Samantha - posted on 04/26/2009

I have the same problem. I look very young. I am 32 and have an almost 7 year old, an almost 4 year old and a 5 month old. I am half chinese and my children have light brown hair and my youngest has blond hair and blue eyes. People always assume I am the babysitter. It used to really bother me but I am used to it. I also just think that when I am in my 40's and 50's I will still look young and everyone else will look old and I'll be the one laughing. It stopped bothering me so much once I hit 30. Even though people still think I had my children really young I always try to hint at my age or say that people would never guess my age. People usually guess 21. Be proud that you look young and enjoy your boys. I have two of my own and one girl and they know who their mommy is. You will probably meet people who will not want to get to know you because you look young especially once your son starts school, just ignore them. Good Luck

Sussie - posted on 04/26/2009

I'm almost 26 (look like I am 15!) with a 1 1/2 year old who looks nothing like me either!! I feel your pain!

Anna - posted on 04/26/2009

Sometimes it can be really anoying when people missjudge you. But you should try to take it as a compliment, that people think that you look younger than you are. I know how it feels. I was at the mall with my six-month-old daughter, one day. A lady said that I looked very young, for beeing a mother. She thought that I was 18. Actually I´m going to be 28 this year. She was very surprised when I told her :P

Grace - posted on 04/26/2009

Enjoy it! I guess I'll be where you are in a few years. I'm 22 with an 8 week old daughter. It's way better than being thought too old to be the child's mother.

Kelly - posted on 04/25/2009

I'm 25. my daughter is 2.3 and my daughters father is 38. I look younger then I am usually getting somewhere between 18 and 21. He looks older then he is with people usually assuming 42-45. When I was pregnant (at 22 had her when 23) people used to make rude snotty comments behind my back...and whenever I heard someone I would always turn around and tell them I was in my 'mid' twenties and just walk away. When they see me with my daughters father even now the comments are hysterical. Most people think that I am his daughter and that my daughter is as well or that I am his daughter and I had a child too young so he cares for us both. lol. You just have to ignore it and persevere. Some people ae just rude and cant keep their thoughts to themselves

Reanne - posted on 04/25/2009

im 26 married with 4 kids i had my 1st when i was 18 just dont listen to what others say its you and your child/children that only matters not what people say or think about you

Cori - posted on 04/25/2009

Quoting Jocelyn:

Quoting Nicole:

Quoting Holly:

I am right there with you... I'm 30 and look like I'm in my early 20's, and on the telephone sound like I'm 12... and people might say stop being ridiculous and be greatful but, for me, it's hard to be taken serious when I look so fricken young... And if you're being silly... then I'm also guilty... I make it a point to wear my wedding/engagement ring not for the sake of wearing them because I'm married but because I have this notion that it "makes me look older." Again, I am guilty of sillyness. And my son is 3/4 Asian from my husband and I and I think he pulls more of the Asian ancestry and while I am 1/2 Japanese I pull more of my Spanish ancestry so I often feel like I get stragne looks when they see my son and I together.. So I can totally relate!

im right there with yah about the ring thing. i may an extra point of wearing it so that ppl will maybe think im older and that im not just a kid. which im not..lol thats too funny

lol i do the same thing! :)

i think that most of us young (and married) moms do the same thing.. if not to look older just to let people know that youre married and you had a kid because you found the love of your life and  you wanted to make something beautiful together.

Vanessa - posted on 04/25/2009

So funny! Yesterday someone told me I was too young to have 3 kids...like it's any of their business in the first place! I'm 29 with 5yr, 3yr and 1 yr old boys, and yes I do look young for my age, but i find it insulting when someone says something about it. I just tell them I'm a happily married, blessed woman with 3 gorgeous and healthy PLANNED children. 3 by 30, that's what we always said. And then if they look really old, it's fun to ask how old their grandchildren they're with are...lol Gets them every time.

Jenny - posted on 04/25/2009

I have the opposite problem...i was 17 when i had my first son he is now 2 and i am now 19 (and 15weeks pregnant with my 2nd)and ppl think im 26 or 27!i usually ask "do i hv wrinkles?" lol i am very proud to b my age and b a mum!im proud of what we have accomplished! i brought my first house when i was 18 and in the process of refurbishing. people look down on young mums because they think they cant provide the love and care children need and sometimes not all mums can wether they b young or old i say never judge a book by its cover and stuff wot every1 else thinks :)

Shannon - posted on 04/25/2009

Just keep a smile on your face and tell them that your really not as young as they think you are and aren't you lucky you have good genes. Don't forget to add that bub gets his good looks from his dad. What are they going to say then? They probably won't expect a show of confidence and will either compliment you or shut up about it.

Nicola - posted on 04/24/2009

Just think that when you older you going to look better than most of the people assuming things about you let em get on with it!

you know and your child knows who his mummy is so don't let it worry you!! p.s congrats on your pregnancy !!

Melissa - posted on 04/24/2009

It bothers me as well. I am 31 with a 12 year old. People often think I can't be over 24. And most of the time they think my son is my brother. I am happy to be young enough to enjoy and keep up with my son. I had always wished my parents were younger than they were when they had me (they were 30 going on 31) because by the time I got to high school, they were too tired to go see me cheer at basketball and football games. It is very flattering to be told how young I look and I hope i continue to look young! But I do get tired of the ugly stares some women send my way. Good luck with your soon to be baby and keep your chin up for both of your boys!

Andrea - posted on 04/24/2009

Try not to let it bother you. My sister is 22 and people ask her what classes she's taking in high school, but now she just shrugges it off and kinda laughs and says " oh I finished school like 4 years ago". Then they get a stupid look on there face cause they know they shouldn't jugde people. And when you are 50, you will look like 40 or younger, that will be nice.

Tina - posted on 04/24/2009

dont feel people need to judge i had my first at 15 11days b4 my 16th. she has just turned 12 and im nearly 28. i have three ohter children too. i have learnt from school mums that some people r just jelous cause young mums can be gr8 parents sometmes better them older mums hope this lifts u i know how hard it is at times take care and have fun with ur children there not little for long

Nicole - posted on 04/24/2009

Hey there you know just look at it this way, when you are 40 you will look 30 and when you are 50 you will look 40. They are just jealous. I know exactly how you feel. I just turned 29 and people still think I am babysitting and I have an 8 year old and a 4 year old. My favorite is when my boss tells them that I am actually older than I look and they think I am 18 at the oldest and then I tell them that I am 29 with two kids and have been married for 9 years. I used to let it get to me but now I just blow it off because I love to see their reactions on their faces. No it is not silly to let it bother you but look at on the positive side. I hope that helps!!

Emma - posted on 04/24/2009

I have the same problem!

I am 26 (look about 18) year old mummy of 2, aged 8 and nearly 6!

When I'm out with my mum, people often think my children are my mums and I'm the big sister!

I'm a hairdresser and when I get new clients and say I have 2 children I get shocked faces staring at me!

I have learnt to appreciate more these days and I hope I carry on looking young! It does have its benefits!

Sometimes I get really angry when people look down on me, but I smile to myself cause I know I am their mummy and that they are all mine and they are well cared for!

Even though I had them young, doesn't mean I'm irrasponsable!!!!

Try and take it has a compliment hun!! xx

Vanity - posted on 04/24/2009

No worries...been there...still there. I am 24 and I have a 5 yr old, a 10 mo old and I am 9 mos prego. My sons daycare buddies asked if I was gonna be in their class. I take it as a compliment. At least I have the energy to keep up with my kids and actually have fun doing it.

Maria - posted on 04/24/2009

I agree with TNell, these people either don't have other better things to do or are bored and don't know what to do with their own other than mess with others like your own!

TNell - posted on 04/24/2009

Just ignore the people who think they have to make your life miserable because theirs is. If they haven't taken the time to get to know you and that you are responsible then their words don't need to be something of value in your life. Your children are God's blessings and He gave them to you so just enjoy them and your health! =)

Tracey - posted on 04/24/2009

Hmm, if only I had your problem!! I have been asked if I was enjoying looking after my grandchildren!! I stonily said 'They are MY CHILDREN'.

Obviously, I have had a hard life! lol

Maria - posted on 04/24/2009

Oh, yes, I had to correct a few!

Maria - posted on 04/24/2009

Oh, honey ,don't worry! When you've been married as long as I've been (20 years), you'll look back and laugh about it, like I did. When I had my first child at 28, people assumed he was either from a teenage pregnancy or I was the maid! When I had my second boy, people assumed that because my boys didn't look alike, that he was from a different father than his older brother. Of course, I was offended at first, but now, my husband and I just learned to laugh about it. My husband is of Irish-Scandinavian American descent. I'm of Spaniard-Chinese/Filipino descent.

Wendy - posted on 04/24/2009

Be grateful that you don't have my problem, I was 34 when I had my son, and right from the start people have mistaken me for his grandma. The first time it happened, I was mortally offended, but now it doesn't bother me. It has its funny side, because people get so embarrassed when I correct them.