Jeanie - posted on 09/14/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )
I thing this might turn in to a venting rant, sorry! Our 3 year old son is having biopsies and an endoscope tomorrow to try and find out why he gets so sick. The last time he had one I rushed a blue not breathing baby to the nurses desk. You would think he would want to be there just in case this time but no he never asked for the day off and who knows when he was going to tell me. We talked and I got him to cave and say he would drive to work and not take the bus. At lunch he said he forgot he was going to drive and hadn't reserved a parking spot. To get to the hospital by bus it would take him 45 minutes but only 5-10 if he had his car.
What if something happens? He might not get there in time to do anything or say goodbye. I thought about him being worried about money from missing work but his family would pay are bills for a month if we needed it, so missing $50 can't mean that much. Instead of helping me find everything I need for tomorrow he was on his computer laughing and cracking jokes.
I want to cry and say he doesnt care. I am boycotting going to bed so he has no one to cuddle with. I thought about saying you choose work or us because our family can't keep taking a back seat. I know he loves us and no I am not leaving him! But I need him there as much as our son does. I have some medical training so I know what can go wrong and I am scared. When we talked a few days ago I told him all of this and he said 'well are you telling me to take the day off?" I said no because all I would hear about is how he he should be at work. What good is it if you have a body there but the mind is elsewhere? I watched my dad die the day of a routine surgery and I have always been scared about surgery after that.
What do I do again I'm sure I'm overreacting but this isn't our first time and I have nowhere else to go with this.