ive had a tubal pregnancy which i lost the tube then i had a baby who had a birth defect down syndrome which i aborted then i went and had genetic counseling which they said there is no way given my family genetics i could not have a normal baby then i had two miscarriages now im pregnant again im 8 weeks everything looks great my risk for miscarriage has decreased for a heartbeat is detected but what now is my chances of naving a baby with birth defects my testing for that is in a couple weeks

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/03/2013

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Could you answer my question? Trying to clear up the confusion.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/02/2013

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Only a doctor can tell you. Not a bunch of moms that don't know you, don't have test results in front of us, and are not doctors to decipher them in the first place. You want stats?? Google it. I would say maybe stop getting pregnant if you have another child with down syndrome. That to me means your chances are high for another one. If you really just want another baby, that is your choice and I hope you have a happy healthy baby. BUT, Jodi is certainly right. You never know what will happen in life.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/03/2013

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It depends on how you read it Dove. Each time I do, it says the opposite of what I previously thought.

Dove - posted on 02/03/2013

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I took it to mean there is no way she can have a normal baby and since she's going to abort any child that isn't normal.... that's why I responded the way I did. Just doesn't make sense to keep trying to have a baby when a doctor already told you that you won't have a normal baby.....

Besides.... you can't lift/carry over a certain weight? What are you going to do when you are out with your 40 pound 4-5 year old and they fall and get really hurt and need carried.....?? Life is not predictable and there are no guarantees in any of it.

I am sorry that you are offended by the fact that your op breaks my heart and I laid out the facts that you presented in your op in a very blunt manner. I still don't see it as anything else. It is totally your right to do whatever you want, but if you post about it on a public board.... you are going to get comments that you don't like.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/02/2013

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Your double standard of "there is no way given my genetics I could not have a normal baby" so does this mean you can or cannot have a normal baby?

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Dove - posted on 02/03/2013

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Ah... now that I read it AGAIN... I get what you are saying. Punctuation and proper sentence structure could go a long way in people being understood, huh?

Evelyn - posted on 02/02/2013

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I was not being mean. Its just that I do not agree with aborting a child. I also had to face the choice of termination of my last pregnancy because the ultrasound was coming back bad. They gave me the worst case scenerio about the baby. They thought that the child would be born deformed to a point that he or she would not live long or would die inside. Face the fact that I was also nearing the third trimester by few weeks and also had an older child who already knew that the baby was coming. My ex husband, the father of both kids, and I decided that it was in our best interests and that of our family to not terminate. I could not stand the thought of my daughter wondering why I had made the choice of not keeping the baby if that was what was to happen. I did not want her to hate me the rest of my life for what would be in her eyes "killing" her sibling. After several weeks of tortured waiting, we found out that the boy was fine. But it was torture to have to endure not knowing. But even if he had been a downs child, or had another problem, I would not have terminated the life. He was given to me for a reason.

Elizaeth - posted on 02/02/2013

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i understand what you are saying i chose testing because i can not give up a child once ive carried it for 9 months i can not adopt because of my exhusband he got me involved with cps i believe that having children is worth what one has to endure

Jodi - posted on 02/02/2013

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No-one called you a baby killer. Just wanted to clarify that. They just don't agree with your choice to abort.

Personally, I chose not to have testing when I had my youngest child at 36 (being a high risk age) because I couldn't have faced aborting a child anyway. I'd just had two miscarriages and decided I would accept whatever nature gave me. But that's me. I don't condemn anyone for making a different choice, because not everyone could cope with a special needs child, especially if that child is going to be unwell in addition to the genetic defects. You did what was right for you at the time.

Having said that, no-one here can say what your chances are for a healthy baby this time. The thing is, there are no guarantees. Even if you HAVE a healthy baby, there may be an illness or accident that results in your child not being healthy or fully functioning. What would you do then, what with your spinal cord diseases? I agree that you REALLY have to stop and think about that and if it doesn't work out this time, consider adopting instead, but only if you are prepared to take whatever may come your way in the course of that child's life.

Elizaeth - posted on 02/02/2013

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as far as to your comment i have two spinal coed diseases im not allowed to lift over a certain weight i love children im not a baby killer and there was no way i could take care of a sick child is this the way you talk to other moms

Elizaeth - posted on 02/02/2013

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your response was very rude first of all it was confirmed that i was having a down syndrome baby second it had a bad heart and kidneys 3rd i have 2 spinal cord diseases so im not allowed to lift a child who weighs alot then i had 2 miscarriages by the way im not a baby killer so your response was rude and no help

Evelyn - posted on 02/02/2013

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I have to agree with Dove. And yet why did you abort a downs child? I have known some children with downs and they are loving and bring joy to me in my life. They are a special gift to have in your life. Yes, they are a lot of work and all but the rewards of what they bring to your life are endless. I can't understand that.

Dove - posted on 02/02/2013

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If you aren't going to keep ANY baby (regardless of potential issues) after going through all that crap.... please get your tubes tied or stop having sex. If a genetic counselor told you that you won't have a 'normal' baby.... yet you are going to kill any baby that ISN'T 'normal'..... Just stop. Your OP breaks my heart.

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