Letting your baby cry it out at night... Any tips??? Help!!!

Jackie - posted on 04/17/2009 ( 119 moms have responded )

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We have been trying the cry it out method with our 4 month old son for about a week now with little success. He is waking up a little less, but I thought it would have worked by now and he would be sleeping through the night. Can anyone offer any advice? I'll try just about anything at this point. (We are swaddling him, play a sleep music CD at night, he uses a pacifies, etc.)

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Laura - posted on 10/23/2011

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We did the CIO method with our daughter when she was 8 weeks old. Some might say that's too young, but only we know our daughter. Erin has always been a big eater, and I seemed to be feeding her myself constantly. Also, I had seen the difficulty that my sister had with getting her little one to go to sleep on his own, and I was determined that we would never go through this with our daughter.

We stuck to a rigid bedtime routine - bath, pyjamas, feed (for over an hour, usually), then bed by 7.30pm, whether asleep or not. She would then sleep for a while, then wake up crying. I went to her every 5 minutes (to stroke her back and talk to her, but never pick her up), then gradually increased the time I was away. I would then change and feed her at 10pm on the dot for around 45 minutes again, then she would fall asleep and wake every 3 hours for the rest of the night.

The crying gradually got less and less, and on the fifth night, she slept soundly from 7 to 10pm, and has gone down at 7pm no bother ever since (this was over a year ago). She is now 13.5 months old and I have to say that she has NO attachment issues, sleeps soundly through the night for between 12 and 13 hours (stopped getting up for milk at around 10 months), and loves being in her cot. I know that the CIO method is not for all babies, but I do not regret doing this with our daughter. In no way have I ever not met my daughter's needs.

It does take some time, especially as the child gets older. Stick to it, if you can, and things will get easier. Over those five days I cried with her, and felt like things would never get easier, but when the night comes that your son sleeps well, you will realise how worthwhile it was. I have to say that, at 4 months, our daughter was still getting up for milk twice a night, and didn't sleep through, as I already said, until 10 months old.

Mel - posted on 04/22/2009

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to all those trying to tell her that CIO is dangerous and all that rubbish, that is not what she asked she asked if anyone had any tips on helping her with CIO. so if your just going to spread all those things about crying hurting babies etc please dont. just offer helpful advice if you have anything to say at all.

Emily - posted on 04/17/2009

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What "CIO" method do you mean? Even Ferber who many claim started the CIO method (not is words) says not to put the baby in the crib and not return until morning he also doesn't suggest it for 4 month olds. He also admits the method doesn't work for everyone (providing you are doing the cry-reassure-cry-reassure thing). At four months it sounds like he is just too young. For a baby this age 5-6 hours is actually considered through the night. By age 6 months nigh time stretches of 9-12 hours are possible, but that doesn't mean every baby of this age is ready. Here are some ideas that might help, but it will probably take more than a week to see results. From
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/baby-sl...
* Encourage activity during the day. When your baby is awake, engage him or her by talking, singing and playing. Surround your baby with light and normal household noises. Such stimulation during the day can help promote better sleep at night.
* Monitor your baby's naps. Regular naps are important — but sleeping for large chunks of time during the day may leave your baby wide awake at bedtime.
* Follow a consistent bedtime routine. Try relaxing favorites such as bathing, cuddling, singing or reading. Soon your baby will associate these activities with sleep. If you play bedtime music, choose the same tunes each time you put your baby in the crib.
* Put your baby to bed drowsy but awake. This will help your baby associate bed with the process of falling asleep. Remember to place your baby to sleep on his or her back, and clear the crib or bassinet of blankets and other soft items.
* Give your baby time to settle down. Your baby may fuss or cry before finding a comfortable position and falling asleep. If the crying doesn't stop, speak to your baby calmly and stroke his or her back. Your reassuring presence may be all your baby needs to fall asleep.
* Consider a pacifier. If your baby has trouble settling down, a pacifier might do the trick. In fact, using a pacifier during sleep may reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). But there are pitfalls, too. If your baby uses a pacifier to sleep, you may face frequent middle-of-the-night crying spells when the pacifier falls out of your baby's mouth.
* Expect frequent stirring at night. Babies often wriggle, squirm and twitch in their sleep. They can be noisy, too. Sometimes fussing or crying is simply a sign of settling down. Unless you suspect that your baby is hungry or uncomfortable, it's OK to wait a few minutes to see what happens.
* Keep nighttime care low-key. When your baby needs care or feeding during the night, use dim lights, a soft voice and calm movements. This will tell your baby that it's time to sleep — not play.
* Respect your baby's preferences. If your baby is a night owl or an early bird, you might want to adjust routines and schedules based on these natural patterns.

Mindee - posted on 10/28/2011

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I'll be up front and say I am completely against this method of abuse. We don't treat old folks this way in nursing homes; it would be considered abuse. Why do we think we need to do this to our babies? You're basically trying to teach your baby that you are NOT going to meet his needs. Crying is his only way to communicate with you and you are trying to follow a method that says to ignore that. If there's one thing I can suggest to help you out it's to read my all time favorite book, Good Nights, By Dr. Jay Gordon, M.D. This is one of the few books out there full of actual facts and that takes the parent AND the baby's wants/needs to heart. You'll be better informed as a parent and will have the knowledge you need to move forward with this difficult time of parenting. Best of luck!

Julie - posted on 04/22/2009

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I don't like the cry-it-out method. Here's what we did with our son. Put a chair close to his bed - close enough you can pat his back if he fusses. Sit there until he falls asleep. The next night move the chair a little further from the bed. Then a little further and a little further. Eventually the chair will be out in the hallway. You can walk away at that point, but your child will think you are sitting right outside his door. After you get to that point, you should be able to lay him down and he'll go right to sleep. It takes some time and some dedication from you, but it works. Good luck!

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Sarah - posted on 04/23/2009

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try giving him abath at night befor bed and massage and one last feed maybe also try a cuddley toy to cuddle up to maybe leave one of ur tops in his bed so he thinks ur still their

Amanda - posted on 04/22/2009

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cry it out does not work, just seems like torture , we tried it for about 2nights, our daughter was 7mnths, and just got hysterical, i would try it, and do not recomend it. it just made us feel bad and her get so upset she couldnt breath, dont bother it will get better. 4mnths it early in my opnion, babies cry because they need something doesnt matter if its a hugm, or a bottle its a parents job to help them. good luck momma it gets better!

Amanda - posted on 04/22/2009

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sounds like crying it out is not working for you. this is because at 4 months old he needs to eat every 3 hours or so and he is most likely waking out of hunger. A 4 month old needs to be fed so letting him sleep though the night can actually cause him to not gain enough weight. children who are left to cio can suffer huge attachment issues later on.

Think of it this way, if you were imobile and stuck in a crib surrounded by bars and your in a dark room alone hungry and lying it your own feces and urine would you want to be left to cio?

The best advice I can give you is to create a good bedtime routine, a soothing lavender bath, nice massage, a story in a rocking chair followed either by breast feeding in dim light or a bottle of warm formula, a lulaby and good night. do the same everynight and when baby cries go to him, do not play with him but do attend to his needs, change his diaper, feed him and put him back to sleep.

he is not crying to bother you he is crying to get his needs met.

Tami - posted on 04/22/2009

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Don't. We went thru this with my first child who screamed and threw things across the room for over a week straight. Once we put her with us, she slept and so did we. She is 19 now, and I sincerely yearn for those days. They will eventually sleep on their own once they start school. Cherish your cuddle time and try to sleep any way you can. There is no "right" way and some kids just need more mommy/daddy time. Good luck and enjoy him while you can =D

Sarah - posted on 04/22/2009

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Sounds like he is not ready yet. He may still need a feeding at night or a diaper change. I beleive if you tend to his needs and continue doing what you are doing he will sleep all night when he is ready. My daughter who is 2 1/2 now, started sleeping throught the night about eight months ago. She still needed to be changed at night. But she has been potty trained since 2. YAY!!!

Christa - posted on 04/22/2009

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I loved the book Healthy Sleeping Habits, Happy Child. It worked wonders for my family. My son has slept through the night since he was 6 months. I would suggest it to anyone. Good luck, I know the first few months are rough!

Christa - posted on 04/22/2009

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I loved the book Healthy Sleeping Habits, Happy Child. It worked wonders for my family. My son has slept through the night since he was 6 months. I would suggest it to anyone. Good luck, I know the first few months are rough!

Kathryn - posted on 04/22/2009

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hi there! both my kids slept at around 3-3 1/2 mths. we let them cry to sleep. my daughter got sick when she was 3mths(she's 5now) and we had her in bed with us, worrying over etc(1st time parents!). then we realized that she had gotten used to being with us in our bed. it was like 11pm we were ready for bed and she was ready to play! well, enough of that. we put her back in her bed and let her cry it out. we made sure her belly was full, she was dry, not to many clothes on etc. the first night she cried for an hr, second night about half an hr and the 3rd night 15mins. i know a lot of ppl think it's cruel, but you have to get up the next day to work, etc. let her cry it out! remember, "this too will pass" :) it does get better!!

Cori - posted on 04/22/2009

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my son is 5 months old and he has been sleeping through the night for the last 2 months.. dont force it on them and surely dont let them "cry it out" your child NEEDS you when they are crying at night. they are hungry or irritated because they are wet or poopy. tend to their needs for now.. they dont recomend the ferber method until they are at leaste 6 months old. right now tending to their needs isnt going to make them more dependent on you, but it is going to help them build their trust with you and understand that you are going to be there for them always no matter what. just wait a little bit longer.. i know that that 8 hours of sleep at night is calling your name but dont push it to your childs detrement. it will come when its time!

Mel - posted on 04/22/2009

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yeah i mean i had to do 3 hr on the dot feeds to get her weight up for the first week after that i would wake in the morning and worry and people said to me i am just lucky and that as long as she was making up feeds in the day she was ok. it didnt last long tho ever since 2 months she was on strict feeding times day and night to now so i actually didnt start getting tired til then lol

Kylie - posted on 04/22/2009

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wow sleeping through from birth is pretty rare and special. I think if my kids had done that I would have had 5 of them by now :)

Mel - posted on 04/22/2009

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ok. mine was sleeping through almost from birth 11 hours so cant say i understand that anyway mine only starting crying before sleep when she got to about 9 months so thats when i started leaving mine.

Kylie - posted on 04/22/2009

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Shes been trying CIO for a week with very little success so many of us are offering her other advice and info to help her and her tiny baby be happier and get more sleep. CIO is not the magical key to having a baby sleep through the night "'ll try just about anything at this point" suggests shes ready to give other options a go. Plus even people who support CIO say 4 months is too young to expect a baby to sleep through.

Brandie - posted on 04/22/2009

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Too much crying can cause blood pressure to rise in him, and that is bad on the brain. Try making a certain time for naps earlier in the day. And try to keep him awake in the evenings. That way he will be exhausted. The first week of this method was really hard with my two boys and then it gradually got easier and before we knew it, they were sleeping all night.

Lauren - posted on 04/22/2009

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i don't recommend the "cry it out" method. babies that young do not possess the ability to manipulate, therefore cannot be spoiled. babies cry because they need something, even if it is just to be held.

Bonnie - posted on 04/22/2009

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The one thing that does not seem to have been considered here is that, have your layed in your childs bed at night and seen the world through the child's eyes. That child wakes, experiences an environment that may or may not be offering it any comfort, wonders where their familiar caretakers are and not seeing, smelling or hearing them then cries because they are fearful of the apparent absence of the nurturers. Many great points have been made in this thread as to cortisole and adrenaline, neurotransmitter developement is also affected as pointed out by the emotional detachment theory in human developmental psychology. Whose needs and expectations are really being met here, the parents or the childs??????????

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Quoting Chrystina:

With all three of my kids I used what is called the "Baby Wise Method" that is there are times to eat, play and sleep. In that order. The parent decides the times. I usually fed mine every three hours, they stayed up, dependant on age 5 min at birth, and time gradually increased as they grew older. I laid them in their crib awake and they contented themselves untill they slept. There was an adjustment period when they thought that it was time to eat but it wasn't, so they had to cry for awhile but it didn't kill them. I know that sounds cruel to some but when you are nursing and try to feed every thirty min you wear yourself out. I succesfully used this method for all three of my kids and they slept through the night before they were 12 weeks. With the exception of when they were ill. I would try this method. It will take some time to get him on the schedule but it is well worth it.



In regards to your comment : The parent decides the times. I usually fed mine every three hours, ( I'm not attacking you here) I was told by my midwife to feed my son every four hours. I found this was the worst thing I could have done as it encouraged him to stay up all hours of the night as his feeding times changed. I had alot of people suggest I try feeding on demand, I finally decided after 8 weeks of feeding every four hours that I would try it. It was the best thing I ever did. (I couldn't breast feed but expressed milk for my son and found with the left over milk that he didnt drink in the bottle was being wasted). Two of my friends have just become Mum's and one is feeding on demand- after I recommended it to her. The other is feeding every four hours.

[deleted account]

The CIO method doesn't work for all babies. The only time I have trouble with putting my son down for sleep is during the day (when he is clearly tired) and he will cry himself to sleep, or have a little play in his bed.

I have my son in a routine (babies like routine) so he is in bed by 8.30, I find he only wakes up during the night around 2-3 am when a new tooth is coming through otherwise he sleeps through.

When he wakes up in the middle of the night, I give him paracetamol and a bottle, change his nappy and then put him back down.He has slept throu the night since he was 8 weeks old (I was told by an old fashioned midwife to feed 4 hourly not demand- I wish now that I had fed him on demand). He is now 10 months.

Shellby - posted on 04/22/2009

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I highly recommend the American Academy of Pediatrics book, "Guide to Your Child's Sleep: Birth Through Adolescence." Our pediatrician recommended the book to us when we were facing some of the same issues. Our son is now almost four...and still has great sleep/nap habits. I think the method in this book is great...and it is a lot less stressful than the cry it out method.

Sarah - posted on 04/22/2009

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Quoting Chrystina:

With all three of my kids I used what is called the "Baby Wise Method" that is there are times to eat, play and sleep. In that order. The parent decides the times. I usually fed mine every three hours, they stayed up, dependant on age 5 min at birth, and time gradually increased as they grew older. I laid them in their crib awake and they contented themselves untill they slept. There was an adjustment period when they thought that it was time to eat but it wasn't, so they had to cry for awhile but it didn't kill them. I know that sounds cruel to some but when you are nursing and try to feed every thirty min you wear yourself out. I succesfully used this method for all three of my kids and they slept through the night before they were 12 weeks. With the exception of when they were ill. I would try this method. It will take some time to get him on the schedule but it is well worth it.



I think it is crazy to say that "Your baby thought it was time to eat but you said it wasn't". If your baby is hungry, you feed them. The parent doesn't "decide the times". The baby knows when they are hungry. That is why they are waking up and crying. I realize it is different when your baby gets older, but you are talking about a 12 week old infant. About the wearing yourself out comment, that is what happens when you have an infant. You wake up in the middle of the night to take care of them. Yes you are tired, but that is what babies need. I had great success with my 4 children using the "give them what they need" method.

Tanya - posted on 04/22/2009

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I would say provided you've checked everything is ok and he doesn't need anything such as a nappy change, milk or isn't ill then you should be fine to try getting him into the routine of sleeping however it won't happen over night and I would say a week isn't that long but rather than playing music him I would suggest you keep the room quiet. He will cry that is to be expected. Do you have a dull night light for him? When you check on him try to avoid picking him up unless you think he may be ill or in need of something or unless he is really upset with himself, and avoid stimulating him by talking to him. Is the room warm enough/cool enough for him, is he hungary, I have twin four year olds and had to start them on baby rice at that age because milk wasn't enough for them. If your breatfeeding check the colour of your milk to make sure it hasn't gone watery....if that's the case he could be hungary. That happened to me when the twins were six weeks old so I had to mix breast milk with formula and then a couple of weeks later they were on full formula. Hope it helps

Melanie - posted on 04/22/2009

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My suggestion is a bedtime at the same time every night. A schedule worked wonders for me. I was lucky with my son, he was sleeping 7 hours a night at 6 weeks. His feeding schedule was adjusted to meet his needs. He has gone to bed for the night at 8:00 every night since he was born. It worked for me. He's now fifteen months old and he likes to go bed. We make it a fun experience, not like a punishment. He walks in by himself when I say it is bedtime. He sleeps from 8PM to 7 or 8 AM now. A routine also helps. Bathtime, story, then bedtime for mine. I've done that since he was about 4 months and I'm telling you it was the best thing I ever did.

Susan - posted on 04/22/2009

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Quoting Nadia:

My kids were sleeping through at 4 months...not too early! Apparently I am in complete disagreement with the majority of the others who have responded. Nothing wrong with letting them learn how to soothe themselves to go to sleep so you don't have "THAT" kid that has to be rocked and you can't even go out for dinner because they'll completely freak out if you're not there. With my daughter I put a tablespoon of rice cereal in her bottle about 11pm at 9 weeks. Worked like a charm! I used Avent bottle with her...just take a needle and make the opening a little bigger to allow the cereal to flow through. Many will advise against this saying this young they can't digest food, etc. I'm 34 and my mom was feeding me cereal and apple sauce for breakfast and dinner by 2 months, by Dr. request! With regards to letting them cry it out, I didn't have the problem with my daughter, but my son, loves a crib toy that has music, motion and lights. I have one by Fisher Price with monkeys (got it at Target) and he has always LOVED it. I just put it on and he was completely enthralled. To each their own, but sure worked for me! They both sleep through the night and I get very little grief at bedtime from either. Good luck!


I agree and I’m quite happy not to be alone here. My eldest daughter slept through the night from about 6 weeks. We were happy and contented until at 5 months she decided not to sleep at night period. From that time until she was 2 ears and 6 months old I did not sleep. There was no one to take her for a night (why would they she would not sleep) My husband worked nights at the time. So it was me and her all night together for eternity (or so it seamed at the time).  By night me pacing the flour because if i sat she cried if I walked she was at least quite. Nabors banging on the walls and door to complain that she was interrupting there sleep.



All this time I resented her if it wasn’t for you I would be asleep now I would tell her. The angel I longed for was such a burden I would fantasies about leaving her in shops over night just to get a nights sleep. I understand how parents can end up hurting there own baby’s because to my shame I thought about it. Let me add here and now I never did it and i never left her in a shop. This was the lowest point in my life that’s all I’m trying to say.



So anyway all this time health visitors were telling me to do the cio thing and I wouldn’t because I thought it was cruel(LOL what the situation must have been doing to her anyway). When she was 2 ears and 6 months I as told about a method that I found more acceptable. You put the baby down leave the room and listen to them cry after 10 minuets you go back stroke the baby tell them you love him/her and leave again. Repeat after 15 mins then 20 and so on. The first night took us 4 hours I won’t even go in to how many times i almost broke and picked her up. I won’t tell you the frustration and physical pain it cost me to do it. The second night took 3 and a half hours progress but it still hurt. Third night took just over 2 hours by now my head had a huge lump on the back because the only way I could stop myself comforting my angel was to bang it off the wall. Night 4 took just under an hour and when she had finally gone to sleep each of the nights she slept through. God I was so happy finally I was sleeping. The fifth night my husband was at home her listened to her scream for 30 mins before he destroyed my hard work by picking her up. We were back at stage 1 again.



I started again and eventually I won. She slept I slept it was bliss.



Since then I have had 3 more baby’s. I refused to repeat the first experience and used baby monitors and a regular bed time. The were put down awake and sent them self’s off to sleep. BY 3 months they slept through. You cant allow the problem to become as bad as I did trust me. Get a good routine as fast as you can. Baby’s grow up very fast and you should enjoy them every second you can but they are far more enjoyable on a good nights sleep.



I hoped this helped good luck (don’t judge me too harshly maybe you guessed but I could never have hurt her)

Susan - posted on 04/22/2009

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Quoting Nadia:

My kids were sleeping through at 4 months...not too early! Apparently I am in complete disagreement with the majority of the others who have responded. Nothing wrong with letting them learn how to soothe themselves to go to sleep so you don't have "THAT" kid that has to be rocked and you can't even go out for dinner because they'll completely freak out if you're not there. With my daughter I put a tablespoon of rice cereal in her bottle about 11pm at 9 weeks. Worked like a charm! I used Avent bottle with her...just take a needle and make the opening a little bigger to allow the cereal to flow through. Many will advise against this saying this young they can't digest food, etc. I'm 34 and my mom was feeding me cereal and apple sauce for breakfast and dinner by 2 months, by Dr. request! With regards to letting them cry it out, I didn't have the problem with my daughter, but my son, loves a crib toy that has music, motion and lights. I have one by Fisher Price with monkeys (got it at Target) and he has always LOVED it. I just put it on and he was completely enthralled. To each their own, but sure worked for me! They both sleep through the night and I get very little grief at bedtime from either. Good luck!


I agree and I’m quite happy not to be alone here. My eldest daughter slept through the night from about 6 weeks. We were happy and contented until at 5 months she decided not to sleep at night period. From that time until she was 2 ears and 6 months old I did not sleep. There was no one to take her for a night (why would they she would not sleep) My husband worked nights at the time. So it was me and her all night together for eternity (or so it seamed at the time).  By night me pacing the flour because if i sat she cried if I walked she was at least quite. Nabors banging on the walls and door to complain that she was interrupting there sleep.



All this time I resented her if it wasn’t for you I would be asleep now I would tell her. The angel I longed for was such a burden I would fantasies about leaving her in shops over night just to get a nights sleep. I understand how parents can end up hurting there own baby’s because to my shame I thought about it. Let me add here and now I never did it and i never left her in a shop. This was the lowest point in my life that’s all I’m trying to say.



So anyway all this time health visitors were telling me to do the cio thing and I wouldn’t because I thought it was cruel(LOL what the situation must have been doing to her anyway). When she was 2 ears and 6 months I as told about a method that I found more acceptable. You put the baby down leave the room and listen to them cry after 10 minuets you go back stroke the baby tell them you love him/her and leave again. Repeat after 15 mins then 20 and so on. The first night took us 4 hours I won’t even go in to how many times i almost broke and picked her up. I won’t tell you the frustration and physical pain it cost me to do it. The second night took 3 and a half hours progress but it still hurt. Third night took just over 2 hours by now my head had a huge lump on the back because the only way I could stop myself comforting my angel was to bang it off the wall. Night 4 took just under an hour and when she had finally gone to sleep each of the nights she slept through. God I was so happy finally I was sleeping. The fifth night my husband was at home her listened to her scream for 30 mins before he destroyed my hard work by picking her up. We were back at stage 1 again.



I started again and eventually I won. She slept I slept it was bliss.



Since then I have had 3 more baby’s. I refused to repeat the first experience and used baby monitors and a regular bed time. The were put down awake and sent them self’s off to sleep. BY 3 months they slept through. You cant allow the problem to become as bad as I did trust me. Get a good routine as fast as you can. Baby’s grow up very fast and you should enjoy them every second you can but they are far more enjoyable on a good nights sleep.



I hoped this helped good luck (don’t judge me too harshly maybe you guessed but I could never have hurt her)

Susan - posted on 04/22/2009

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Quoting Nadia:

My kids were sleeping through at 4 months...not too early! Apparently I am in complete disagreement with the majority of the others who have responded. Nothing wrong with letting them learn how to soothe themselves to go to sleep so you don't have "THAT" kid that has to be rocked and you can't even go out for dinner because they'll completely freak out if you're not there. With my daughter I put a tablespoon of rice cereal in her bottle about 11pm at 9 weeks. Worked like a charm! I used Avent bottle with her...just take a needle and make the opening a little bigger to allow the cereal to flow through. Many will advise against this saying this young they can't digest food, etc. I'm 34 and my mom was feeding me cereal and apple sauce for breakfast and dinner by 2 months, by Dr. request! With regards to letting them cry it out, I didn't have the problem with my daughter, but my son, loves a crib toy that has music, motion and lights. I have one by Fisher Price with monkeys (got it at Target) and he has always LOVED it. I just put it on and he was completely enthralled. To each their own, but sure worked for me! They both sleep through the night and I get very little grief at bedtime from either. Good luck!


I agree and I’m quite happy not to be alone here. My eldest daughter slept through the night from about 6 weeks. We were happy and contented until at 5 months she decided not to sleep at night period. From that time until she was 2 ears and 6 months old I did not sleep. There was no one to take her for a night (why would they she would not sleep) My husband worked nights at the time. So it was me and her all night together for eternity (or so it seamed at the time).  By night me pacing the flour because if i sat she cried if I walked she was at least quite. Nabors banging on the walls and door to complain that she was interrupting there sleep.



All this time I resented her if it wasn’t for you I would be asleep now I would tell her. The angel I longed for was such a burden I would fantasies about leaving her in shops over night just to get a nights sleep. I understand how parents can end up hurting there own baby’s because to my shame I thought about it. Let me add here and now I never did it and i never left her in a shop. This was the lowest point in my life that’s all I’m trying to say.



So anyway all this time health visitors were telling me to do the cio thing and I wouldn’t because I thought it was cruel(LOL what the situation must have been doing to her anyway). When she was 2 ears and 6 months I as told about a method that I found more acceptable. You put the baby down leave the room and listen to them cry after 10 minuets you go back stroke the baby tell them you love him/her and leave again. Repeat after 15 mins then 20 and so on. The first night took us 4 hours I won’t even go in to how many times i almost broke and picked her up. I won’t tell you the frustration and physical pain it cost me to do it. The second night took 3 and a half hours progress but it still hurt. Third night took just over 2 hours by now my head had a huge lump on the back because the only way I could stop myself comforting my angel was to bang it off the wall. Night 4 took just under an hour and when she had finally gone to sleep each of the nights she slept through. God I was so happy finally I was sleeping. The fifth night my husband was at home her listened to her scream for 30 mins before he destroyed my hard work by picking her up. We were back at stage 1 again.



I started again and eventually I won. She slept I slept it was bliss.



Since then I have had 3 more baby’s. I refused to repeat the first experience and used baby monitors and a regular bed time. The were put down awake and sent them self’s off to sleep. BY 3 months they slept through. You cant allow the problem to become as bad as I did trust me. Get a good routine as fast as you can. Baby’s grow up very fast and you should enjoy them every second you can but they are far more enjoyable on a good nights sleep.



I hoped this helped good luck (don’t judge me too harshly maybe you guessed but I could never have hurt her)

April - posted on 04/22/2009

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With my first babies (twin girls) they slept with in our room in basinets for a long time and we would lay down with them and when they fell asleep then we would lay them in the beds. With our third child he is now 6 months he will fall asleep on his own, sometimes he will cry himself to sleep (which usually doesnt take any longer than 5-10min) but even he still wakes up in the middle of the night to eat.

Sarah - posted on 04/22/2009

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Mine is now 6 months and like my now 2year old I have found it easier to let them cry it out during the day-time naps. I also let her cry for a little while longer evrey night. But letting her cry it out during the day is way easier becuase I can take my monitor and go outside or do something to get my mind off of it. The big advantage? Since she is learning to calm herslef during the day she is better able to do it at night!

Stara - posted on 04/22/2009

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My daughter (3months) started sleeping through the night at 2 months and she was a month early. She did it herself she ate more offten during the day every three hours of 4 oz and had her last bottle at 11 then getting up at 6:30.

Now she has her last bottle at 8:30 and I put her to bed at 9. I let herself cry it out, if she has been crying more than 15 minutes I go pick her up and we snuggle for a few minutes (no more than 3) then set her back and she is fine.

She is my second child and my son (4 now) was the same way.

So try to feed your son a little more more often and see if that works.

Melissa - posted on 04/22/2009

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Q. My daughter is five weeks old and very fussy. My mom says to add a little cereal to her bottle. Does this help and will it help her sleep through the night?

A. While many well-meaning family members, and sometimes even doctors, recommend this practice, it is a really poor habit that can have health consequences for your baby .

There is no proof that early introduction of solids helps babies sleep. This misconception may stem from the fact that adults often feel a little sleepy or drowsy after a large, high carbohydrate meal, but the same has not been shown to hold true for infants .

We must remember that a baby's stomach is not ready to digest starches until age 4-6 months. Breast milk and formula contain milk sugar, which is easily digested, but infant cereal contains starch, which is not easily digested by infants until later on. Therefore, giving cereal can cause intestinal distress, including cramping, bloating, diarrhea or excessive gas.

In addition, some evidence suggests that babies given cereal in the bottle tend to over-eat, the reason being this: cereal cannot pass through the normal size opening in a nursing bottle nipple, and so the parent often cuts a wider hole in the bottle. Now, too much can be easily sucked through. In addition, young infants are not able to manipulate thicker consistencies of food in their mouths, (it flows differently then milk) and it may cause choking.

There is also a good deal of evidence that early introduction of inappropriate foods may produce allergies that could be avoided by waiting for the correct age for introduction.

Of course, these negative consequences do not happen to *every* baby, but it is not worth risking it, when the "benefit" is largely a myth.

Even when babies are old enough to digest and absorb different types of solid food, it is still not a good idea to add cereal to the bottle. Eating off of a spoon is an important step in oral-motor development, which is also involved in language skills. Giving the cereal in a bottle instead of off the spoon deprives the baby of much needed practice and exercise of the muscle control and development that is so important at this stage.





http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/bottlefe...

Melissa - posted on 04/22/2009

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Quoting Ally:



Quoting Nadia:

My kids were sleeping through at 4 months...not too early! Apparently I am in complete disagreement with the majority of the others who have responded. Nothing wrong with letting them learn how to soothe themselves to go to sleep so you don't have "THAT" kid that has to be rocked and you can't even go out for dinner because they'll completely freak out if you're not there. With my daughter I put a tablespoon of rice cereal in her bottle about 11pm at 9 weeks. Worked like a charm! I used Avent bottle with her...just take a needle and make the opening a little bigger to allow the cereal to flow through. Many will advise against this saying this young they can't digest food, etc. I'm 34 and my mom was feeding me cereal and apple sauce for breakfast and dinner by 2 months, by Dr. request! With regards to letting them cry it out, I didn't have the problem with my daughter, but my son, loves a crib toy that has music, motion and lights. I have one by Fisher Price with monkeys (got it at Target) and he has always LOVED it. I just put it on and he was completely enthralled. To each their own, but sure worked for me! They both sleep through the night and I get very little grief at bedtime from either. Good luck!






wow this is some of the worst advice on so many different parenting levels! Just because your kid was sleeping through the night at four months to imply that other kids can or should be doing this is rediculous! Most children do not...i am a nurse and speaking from experience. nightime wakings have an important purpose in a young infants life...they are designed to keep moms milk supply up and insure babies survival ...sorry if you find that inconvenient (im gonna go out on a limb and guess that your's are bottle fed!)






 






And to have "THAT" baby that needs or wants to be rocked to sleep ..give me a break they are infants...not self sufficient adults...i love rocking my daughter to sleep and having her know that i am there for her night and day...your priority is obviously to have someone else put your kids to sleep when you're not there. There is absolutely no need for a 4 month old infant to soothe themselves...they are crying when you are gone because they do not yet understand object permanence and feel like they are alone. ...who wants their baby to feel like that? ..not me! and btw my husband and i get to enjoy dinner together frequently at home and on the rare occasion that we do go out we have no problem finding someone who is willing to spend the time rocking our daughter to sleep even though that isn't necessary most of the time  not to mention the fact that babies left to cry alone without being picked up experience dramatic increases in the blood pressure in their brains or draining of blood from the brain leading to decreased oxygenation, they also experience an increase in the stress hormone cortisol. prolonged crying has also been found to inhibit the maturation of neural pathways in the brain. Still sound like a good idea?






 






And you should never ever put cereal in an infants bottle..i seriously cant believe that moms tell other people to do this...yeh it may sit in their stomachs longer it does not however provide any nutritional value and should not be used to get your child to sleep longer....it is not because they can't digest it ...it is a huge choking hazard...and as someone who has seen infants firsthand suffering from aspiration pneumonia from just that it is very irresponsible advice. just because your mom did it and you were lucky doesn't mean it's good advice...we have come along way since then ...it's time to catch up with the times!






 






 






to the original poster i would recommend the baby sleep book by dr.sears ...it is a wonderful resource and gives you great advice on the sleep patterns of infants and children and highlights the dangers of letting them cry it out!






 






 






 





Great advice Ally if I read one more mom telling another mom to do this I think I will snap okay people wake up ceral + bottle= choking and p.s it doesnt work for sleep I think you should honestly have to put children first if your going to give advice you canat be all the moms friends all the time you have to be be able to say okay this is a bad idea and  THIS IS A VERY BAD IDEA

Melissa - posted on 04/22/2009

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Ok your baby is 4 months old he needs you, don't let him cry! Do you wake up during the night to get drinks or go to the washroom. I do and I would never ever try to force my 5 month old to sleep through the night, it is ridiculous when we dont sleep through the night dont you wake up to maybe just roll over or to flip your pillow but you go and expect an infant that is trying to learn trust to cry it out.He will sleeep through the night when he gets older why rush things you only get this time once waking up with your babies comes with the territory of being a mom, you dont get to pull your kids off a shelf when ever you want they are always there.



I

Andreanna - posted on 04/22/2009

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Go with the majority. Some babies need to eat at night. When your baby is older she/he will start sleeping through the night. Let your baby tell you what he needs. Why put yourself and your baby through crying spells. It is easier just to feed them and put them back to sleep. Mother of 3 foster parent and day care provider

Hillary - posted on 04/22/2009

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I think four months is too young to expect him to sleep through the night too. I tried letting my 6 month old cry...did okay for a couple of nights then started up again. Tried again at 7 months...same thing. He is now 8 months and I tried it again...this time he's ready and is sleeping 8-10 hours, then I feed him around 5 am and then he's back to sleep until 7 or 8 am. All babies are different and have different needs. If crying for a bit isn't working, try again in another month or so. I'm sure that isn't what you want to hear...I totally understand how difficult it is to be getting up at night...hang in there!

Kelly - posted on 04/22/2009

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When my daughetr got to 6 months old and was constantly up and crying, we did get very exhausted. I listened to her cries. Did they stop when you went to go pick her up? Are they very high pitched (pain?), are they screaming (temper tantrum?) whingy?

4 months prob is a little young for that though, wait till about 5 or 6. When you confidently feel that you have done everything you can, maybe tiredness is the problem. And eventually they will have to learn to put themselves to sleep. I put my daughter to bed after the same routune everyday. Bath.. Feed...Bed... Bed means bed and not a time to get up and down.

Arline - posted on 04/22/2009

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Wow!!! Well I must be blessed then with my baby of now 9 months old. My baby started sleeping through the night at six weeks allready.

Nora - posted on 04/22/2009

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My son was doing the same thing. The Dr. said he was a night feeder. so i had to just give him his pacy & feed him only once in the middle of the night. its working better its just a long process.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/22/2009

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Bravo Alliy Heiger!!! You said it like it is! It does feel like forever when you dont get a single night of straight sleep, but it does pass, and they eventually sleep through the night. It is a sacrifise we make as Moms, plus, it strengthens us mentally and physically for those really rough times when our kids have major sickness and we cant sleep because we have to care for them. Much like the military boot camp sleeplessness that makes tougher soldiers in times of stress, it serves the same pupose in new Moms. What doesnt kill you makes you stronger!

Nicola - posted on 04/22/2009

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I have just spent two nights sleep training my 8 month old daughter, she slept through last night for the first time in months, at about 3 months she was sleeping through, then teething seemed to spoil it ands she got into bad habits and so did we with rocking her off to sleep. If you are struggling to get him to sleep longer than four hours at a time then you should try this out, but at that age he may need a feed every four hours still (although my daughter didn't and every baby differs). What has worked so far for us is bed at 7pm, then a dream feed at 10.30pm, if she wakes we go in every 5 minutes to reassure her that someone is nearby but in a firm voice say 'it's sleepy time - time to go to sleep'. The article I read said they can cry for up to an hour if you can cope but no damage is done, they need to learn to fall asleep alone, most of the time the crying is for attention not for food, although your little man may be hungry. I think it's worked for me (fingers crossed) but may not work for all and it's a matter of choice, not to be judged by others. Good luck Jackie x

Rebecca - posted on 04/22/2009

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i have actually heard of some babies not sleeping a full night til they are nearly 8 months old, so if he is determined to wake up in the middle of the night constantly don't necesarily think that there is something wrong. A couple of things you can try other than doing your best to exaust him, with my girl when she sometimes wakes up i try the ten minute method, you give him his pacifier/dummy and then leave the room and let him cry for about ten minutes if he starts to cry, then come back and repeat the process. After and few days or so of this he will get in a pattern of relaxing in this time and will start to nod off without you having to actually do anything (this may not always work though). Another thing, you mentioned that you are swaddling him, he might be getting like my girl and getting frustrated at not being able to move around. At that age they start to move more and can get very annoyed when restricted.

I would suggest keeping the music up, even if it is just regular radio (thats what i have playing for my girl) as it will help dampen their hearing while asleep to sudden noises that you always get during the night that might wake him up.

The only other thing i can think of is that he might be an early teether, which isn't uncommon. My girl often wakes up at midnight and 2am and won't go back to sleep without some relief and a cuddle. If that is the case i would suggest teething tablets called "Teething Relief" they work really well and if he has bad gum pain you can give him another dose a lot sooner that if you were using Bonjela.

April - posted on 04/21/2009

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This worked great for my daughter! It took about 3 weeks before she quit crying each night and she learned to self soothe...I wish I had done this with my first child!

[deleted account]

my daughter is 13 months and is just now starting to sleep all night long... i think it just depends on the child... they are all different...maybe taking him out of the swaddle so he can move freely to a position he feels comfy with, giving him a warm bath and bottle or breast and some music...wenever he wakes up play some music again but make sure he isn't hungry or wet...

Keisha - posted on 04/21/2009

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I would try making sure he is well fed before bed time. That's generally the reason my babies woke at night. Also, try keeping baby up an extra half hour and give a nice massage in this time. This will insure that baby is relaxed and ready to just call it an evening. He may not sleep til late morning, but it may help him sleep a few more hours during the night.

Marisa - posted on 04/21/2009

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I have a 2 year old and a 1 year old. With my first as soon as she made a sound I was in there. Bedtime was horrible when my son came along. I was tired all the time because my daughter still didn't sleep through the night and then had my son was waking up too. I finally got to the point were I had to let them cry it out. I did check on them. I'd let them cry for 5 minutes then have my husband go in tell them it was ok and time for bed and then leave. Then 10-15 minutes later I'd have him do it again. He was mad because I just wouldn't let them cry it out and made him go in. But if I went in they never settled down. With him going in it gave me peace of mind and the babies learned how to fall asleep on their own. I also have a music box in my daughter's crib. Its one of those boxes that play music and shine a scene on the ceiling. I'd start it and walk out. Its still in her crib today and she's 2. My son is 17 months and is still waking up so I'm hoping by the time he's 2 he'll sleep through the night because that's how long it took my daughter. Good luck. I still go in and check on them when they wake up but I don't stay long. (Just in case they are sick or need to be changed.)

Kylie - posted on 04/21/2009

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Quoting Nadia:

My kids were sleeping through at 4 months...not too early! Apparently I am in complete disagreement with the majority of the others who have responded. Nothing wrong with letting them learn how to soothe themselves to go to sleep so you don't have "THAT" kid that has to be rocked and you can't even go out for dinner because they'll completely freak out if you're not there. With my daughter I put a tablespoon of rice cereal in her bottle about 11pm at 9 weeks. Worked like a charm! I used Avent bottle with her...just take a needle and make the opening a little bigger to allow the cereal to flow through. Many will advise against this saying this young they can't digest food, etc. I'm 34 and my mom was feeding me cereal and apple sauce for breakfast and dinner by 2 months, by Dr. request! With regards to letting them cry it out, I didn't have the problem with my daughter, but my son, loves a crib toy that has music, motion and lights. I have one by Fisher Price with monkeys (got it at Target) and he has always LOVED it. I just put it on and he was completely enthralled. To each their own, but sure worked for me! They both sleep through the night and I get very little grief at bedtime from either. Good luck!


OMG worst advice ever!! I'd rather have "that child" over a child that is detached because she knows I will not come to comfort her in the night when shes scared or hungry. I really belive if you choose to parent selfishly at the early stage in your childs life you will pay for it in the future. If i read one more post about how great cereal in bottles is for getting babies to sleep through im going to loose it !!

Kylie - posted on 04/21/2009

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Leaving your baby to cry obviously isn't working. When you do this everybody in the family loses. Your baby needs are not met so he feels anxious and confused and in turn your stress levels become raised and you perhaps resentful and the more you don't respond the more demanding he becomes. You are there to provide for not only his physical needs in the night but for comfort and reassurance. Babies are not designed to be sleep trained especially at this age. Whoever told you parenting will be a 12 hour a day job misinformed you. Please enjoy him while he is so young and tiny..this stage passes incredible quickly and when you look back on this time the night wakings and sleep deprivation will be a faint memory if remembered at all. Providing him with a predictable bedtime routine and a positive association with going to sleep with benefit you both in the future.

Tiare - posted on 04/21/2009

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at four months old your baby needs to be reassured that you will be there for him.. so i say dont allow this to continue, its too early, he is looking for you and needs that comfort for whatever reason. even if its just a few minutes of rubbing his back or to hear your voice singing to him, sometimes at that age its just that he needs your comforting assurance that he is and everything is ok!

User - posted on 04/21/2009

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What is often left unsaid/explained when talking about the Cry it out method (in all honesty, this is not a method) people attribute a decrease in crying to the "method" working. This is not so, what is happening is your infant is starting to detach. When a infant/child is in a state of distress their brains are being flooded with Cortisol and Adrenaline. The thinking part of the brain disengages and the emotional part of the brain (I'll spare the medical terms) takes over. After awhile the brain will be conditioned and then starts the vicious cycle of the body constantly being in a state of panic and anxious. I can go on and on. For some reason we think that the mark of a "great" parent is bragging how young our child was before he/she slept through the night.

Your son is way too young to be expected to sleep through the night. Parenting doesn't end at 7pm. Some infants need more parenting during the night than day. Listen to him, swaddle,rock, and just love him.

The long term (emotional and physiological effects) of CIO is not worth it.

Chrystina - posted on 04/21/2009

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By the way it only took letting them cry it out once or twice before my husband and I got a full nights sleep again.

Chrystina - posted on 04/21/2009

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With all three of my kids I used what is called the "Baby Wise Method" that is there are times to eat, play and sleep. In that order. The parent decides the times. I usually fed mine every three hours, they stayed up, dependant on age 5 min at birth, and time gradually increased as they grew older. I laid them in their crib awake and they contented themselves untill they slept. There was an adjustment period when they thought that it was time to eat but it wasn't, so they had to cry for awhile but it didn't kill them. I know that sounds cruel to some but when you are nursing and try to feed every thirty min you wear yourself out. I succesfully used this method for all three of my kids and they slept through the night before they were 12 weeks. With the exception of when they were ill. I would try this method. It will take some time to get him on the schedule but it is well worth it.

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