living with spouses parents...ugh!! need to vent

Ditya - posted on 03/23/2009

IN MY OPINION.....
No matter how hard we are hit by economic problems, I will never (ever!) move in with my in-laws, nor with my own family. With the recession hitting every one, I even disagreed when my husband suggested that to help with our finances, we take a border since we have one room to spare. My reason is that whenever there is someone other than my own family in the house, conflicts cannot really be avoided. Even if you and that person is in good terms. Imagine, even you and your husband doesn't always agree with each other, how much more with other people? Just so I wouldn't compromise my good relationship with anybody, I won't live in anybody's house.

Eve - posted on 03/23/2009

Yikes. I like my MIL but could never live with her or my mom for that matter. We lived with my g'ma for almost a year and it ended with a big fight. It's hard to raise kids when you live with someone in your family. Every generation does things differently. She probably went to your husband bc she felt more comfortable talking to him. It's better that you are moving out. Even if you have to struggle a little bit. Try to do your best. I'm sure things will get back on track. Things are so bad right now, but they will get better. Try not to hold it against your MIL. I didn't talk to my g'ma for a few months but now we are back to normal. We  just realized that our fight wasn't really that big of a deal once we got past the initial anger and hurt.

Val - posted on 03/22/2009

well that certianly can be very frusterating when you have someone seemingly undermining or contradicting your " wishes". I always find theres someone who always has to say something or tell you a different or easier way to do something no matter whether its family or a stranger  passing by on the street. Alot of my experiences are mostly that the persons intentions are to be helpful in someway and its good to sometimes take the advice or if u disagree using your own judgement and on how well you know your own child then, just take that advice and tuck it away for later and politely say thank you to the person advising and that maybe next time you'll try that..it all depends on the situation. I also think that it would be very frusterating to bring in a "third party"(your husband:who is suppost to be supportive to you, but at the same time it may throw him off cus its not his "conflict"). with out hurting one anothers feelings and putting each other down you should be able to feel comfortable talking about certian issues. I guess a letter is ok cus sometimes it helps you put your thaughts together and say what you want as long as its not negative. And some people are so traditional and set in their ways its hard for them to adapt to the modern ways, so you just nicely have to stick to your grounds and maybe redirect them to something else cus afterall..they are your family. and maybe there are other ways your mother inlaw can help out with your child so that she feels more involved.