looking for stuff for 14 year old to keep him busy

Schyla - posted on 06/05/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My 14 year old brother has gotten himself into some minor trouble including being expelled from school for the last month. (it was a stupid incident and I won't get into that other then to say he's never been in trouble before and they used him as an example) well needless to say he's a stupid 14 year old who doesn't use his head and he and a friend took some mock swords and other dangerous looking things to a local park and where having a mock fight and some concerned person (I would have done the same thing) called the cops. So now he in even more trouble (he didn't get arrested but part of the school allowing him to come back when school starts again was that he keep his nose clean and prove that he's a good member of society and this doesn't bode well for him) Well My parents both work full time jobs and I'm on bed rest with a four and two year old of my own to deal with and being as he's a snot mouth irresponsible little bugger (and he's the youngest of 7 and spoiled to boot) I don't know if I can handle being responsible for him. I do not want to have him come and play mommy to my kids although he has been a big help walking them to the park for the free lunch program and he dose a good job with them, but my parents want to get him involved in some type of program ty kown do or something else that will teach him how to discipline himself and to use his head a little better but other then that is there anything else someone could suggest.

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Responsibility will really help him out, helping you should be a (poorly) paid job that he can take pride in. Maybe assigning him teach out a preschool book every day for an hour. (where you can see). doing crafts with the kids. etc... not just walking them down to the park but having to contain and engage a 2 and 4 year old can show him how disobedience spoils everything.



I have an off the wall suggestion I'm assuming from the swords etc... he might be into role playing or medieval stuff. Maybe give him fencing lessons and teach him the proper use and care. make him a squire... Chivalry is an important part of wielding weapons. Maybe you can find some one in the group SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) in your area Who is a knight an needs a squire. Having to clean armor might teach him responsibility in a way he loves.



Also is the "big brother" program in your area? Do you think you can find him a mentor?

Jodi - posted on 06/05/2010

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Get him involved in a team sport. My son is just going on 13, and it is a fantastic outlet for him, and he really enjoys it. It usually involves a couple of nights a week training and a match on the weekend, and the boys really learn discipline and team work.



I'm thinking he needs more positive attention from his parents actually. Just the fact that YOU are the one trying to find a solution speaks volumes. Negative attention is better than no attention, and I'll be willing to bet he is getting plenty of that.

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Jodi - posted on 06/06/2010

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Schyla, I wasn't accusing your parents of neglecting him. I was saying that he needs more positive attention. This can be done without quitting their jobs. As I said, get him involved in a teams sport, and then maybe have dad get involved with the team in some way, or make sure they are at the sporting match on the weekend. My son's face lights up when he sees me cheering on the sidelines at his basketball games (and in past years, football, rugby, etc). I just think that at the moment ALL of their energy with your brother is being used up on negative attention, he needs something positive. Even just some one on one time with dad each weekend, some activity they can enjoy together. Go-karting, a game of golf, go sailing, whatever is available to you (I am not sure). Look into these sort of activities to put some positive attention back into his life and you may see some gradual changes in him.

Schyla - posted on 06/06/2010

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My parents cannot quit their jobs as the income is very needed However I am not the only one looking for a solution my Mother and my Father are both looking as well he and my 17 year old brother are the only ones at home now and quite frankly they receive more attention from my parents then my sisters and I ever did when one or the other parent was at home all day. He's not acting out for attention he's just being stupid. I only asked on here because like I said I'm on bed rest and I had the time and wanted to give my parents and brother other options to consider. Thank you all for your suggestions but I would ask that you not accuse my parents of neglecting my brother as that is simply not what is happening here.

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Ahh Jodi you said what I was to chicken to say... I'm sure if one parent quit working (for a season) and really focused on him the problems would disappear. Yet I don't know the situation maybe both parents have to work to keep a roof over their heads??

Kim - posted on 06/05/2010

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tWhen my husband's nephew was 12 he was getting into loads of trouble, they tried everything. All it took was some postive attention and one on one time with his father. They also sign him up for hockey in the winter and soccer in the summer. He is now 17 has a parttime job and is a great kid.

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