Losing patience w/my 9 yr old...

Amanda - posted on 02/14/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Needing a lil advice..I've a 9 yr old boy and a 6 month old boy.. My 9 yr old has always been my best friend since birth..until recently. Lately it seems that he Purposely does things to aggravate me...I understand that I dont spend as much time with him as I used 2 before our 6 month old was born, but even before the baby, I was and still am a career mom...Hes a Wonderful help with the baby, but I catch him doing things 2 taunt his brother and its sooo aggravating!! Hes a lot more mature than a typical 9 yr old so this behavior is really getting to me because I'm not used to this type of immaturity from him... I've tried having "date" nights with him so that he can see that I do enjoy spending time with him and that I do appreciate and miss him, but lately I've come to resent him at times...I'm hoping and praying that me and him can get back to where we used to be...Any suggestions?

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4 Comments

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Liz - posted on 02/14/2010

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Nicky is absolutely right. Take control of the situation. If he misbehaves, remove him for 9 minutes ( 1 minute for each year of his age ) and be sure to tell him exactly why he is leaving.

Sonnya - posted on 02/14/2010

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Your 9 year old has had the spotlight on him, your attention his whole life, now the spotlight has moved, because your new baby has arrived. Get him in the spotlight with the baby. A way to do this is to give him the baby to hold whenever he arrives- whether its in the middle of a feed or falling asleep or whatever, put them together in the 'light' of love and attention. Also, did you know that at 9 years of age there is a mini pre-adolescence going on? It can manifest in different ways, my child became very emotional, mood swings, and also very clingy etc, and it was helpful for me to know that this is normal at the time. He is not an adult, nor even an adolescent yet, and I think his behavior has to do with the big change of getting a sibling, with a dose of 9 yr old development thrown in. Good luck!

Sharon - posted on 02/14/2010

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Yeah - Nicky is right.

You are NOT his friend.

You are his mother. Act like it. Stop expecting him to ape you & your friends and behave like a mini me.

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I'm going to be blunt here so please don't be offended.



Stop treating him like an adult and stop expecting him to behave like one. He's a 9 year old boy. He is behaving like one. In fact you are lucky that it didn't happen earlier.



Be his parent not his 'friend'. Tell him what your expectations are, give him the appropriate boundaries and the appropriate discipline. It might be harder to start with but you will be MUCH better off in the long run.

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