Major behavior issues(well I think so)

Amanda - posted on 06/05/2009

apparently when i was little i was quite far advanced but by age 8 the other kids had caught me up. i guess i didn't have to learn as fast because some of it was already there? i get the impression from my mum that i was a little nightmare until about age 4 when i started nursery and was actively being taught. maybe she doesn't understand some of this knowledge, or can't stop thinking, mind racing sort of thing, over analyzing - i still do this now, mand x

Janice - posted on 06/05/2009

I would talk to your daughters pediatrician because this sounds very much like bipolar disorder. IF it's not that there should be something he/she can do to help you get to the bottom of her behavior. Because a 2 year doesn't act that way because she's too smart for her age or because she's bored!!! Taking things away from her will only make the mania escalate. When she loses her temper try to console her by holding her, hugging her and tell her everything will be okay if you can. I don't know how bad it gets. If you can't......unfortunately, you will have to tough it out till she calms down on her own. And yes, sometimes, it does mean the destruction of things.

Jennifer - posted on 06/05/2009

Yes, we are American, and I am also weary of my own ideas of what makes a child behaved or not. Part of my problem is I allow them to do things that I know others would never let their children do, and have many dirty looks for it, but I am sometimes scared this makes them spoiled. (Better spoiled than neglected my mom says) I am not against medication, but not leaning that way either. Getting her to take it would just be another tantrum. I know keeping her busy is key, that is just hard for me, but I am hoping to improve. She has all those computers and leap pads and things. It's just with a little brother, some of her toys have to be put away from him Any ideas on activities?

Alison - posted on 06/05/2009

My son was exactly the same at that age. And he is as smart as the average child double his age. He is 4 now. His behaviour is better than it used to be and he does not stand out as being as smart. (People always pay less attention to a smart 4 year old than a smart 2 year old).



I found having a very strict structure helps. This is very exhausiting especially if she is not your only child. Pack all sorts of activities into it like playing, reading, writing, numbers etc. The less time they have to get bored, the less time they have to act up. This is only a suggestion and it worked for me.



The violence toward her brother could be a one off incident for attention and the attitude sounds like she is acting like an older child. Your perception of bad behaviour could be influenced by where you are from in the world. I personally don't see any examples of extreme bad behavior. All kids have done this at some point. I hate to ask this, but are you American? I only say this because I have noticed that expectations of kids seem to be waaaay high at a young age. In my situation, people in America used to say that my son was wild, but people in the UK never batted an eyelid. I think expectations of kids is cultural.



I know it's tempting to get a diagnosis and it might be genuine in your case, but please er on the side of caution. If you medicate her she will not be smart anymore and some countries seem to favour medication more than others. Check that the medical profession in your area isn't one that routinely favours labeling and medicating kids who might be gifted or just bedly behaved. I'm not doing down medication if it is required, but I am suspicious of it.

Emma - posted on 06/04/2009

Quoting Stephani:

get one set punishment and enforce it each and every time no matter what don't let her tantrum get in the way of the punishment, she will eventually calm down. i would also take her fav toys away and explain why, let her know that when she is able to act like a big girl she can have them back. repetition is the best way to enforce the punishment and let her know what's gonna to happen so that way she can learn. if that doesn't work you cal always call the Supper Nanny :)

also if your child is autistic taking away their toys will not work it will just confuse and upset them more

Emma - posted on 06/04/2009

hi, i have a friend who little boy at the age of 18months could count backwards from 200!!
when they had their second child and found they were unable to do this they thought something was wrong with them and took the second child to the doctors. the doctor said this child was "normal" and to bring in their older son. As it turned out their first child had a form of autism. Your daughter might be fine im just putting out the options. im also studying to be a primary school teacher and know a few autistic children n have taught a few on pracs, they have behavioral issues that can vary from mild mood swings to full on temper tantrums. you might want to get her assessed as the younger a behavioral disorder is found the better for the child n the people in the childs life.
hope i was able to help

Natasha - posted on 06/04/2009

i agree with them but i also think you sthould talk to your childs doctor about his. there is a behavior disorder i cant remember the name for it but my friends daughter has this and behaves the exact same way and trust me its better to catch it early than to let it go on and catch it later. i really think you should talk to your doctor hunny. i can talk to my friend and see how she has handled some things feel free to message me any time and keep me posted i hope everything works out for you

Kathy - posted on 06/04/2009

I also agree with Stephani Stephani...

Kathy - posted on 06/04/2009

Wow I am amazed and baffled as well!! I've taught this age group in daycare/preschool setting, and haven't yet seen a child be able to spell or write...I have seen amazing temper tantrums though, and I suggest reading some books, such as the newest version of 'Dare to Discipline' by James Dobson, or 'Have a New Kid by Friday' by Kevin Leman. They are both very helpful in many age groups, but it does take time, energy, and consistency. I've also taken a Love & Logic Parenting class, which helped immensely. The major points were not to give attention to the negative stuff unless it was causing harm. When the child asks for something, you may need to tell them no BECAUSE you don't like the way they treated you. Unfortunately at 2 1/2, that will set off more tantrums. Is there a 'safe zone' you can create for her to throw such tantrums??? a corner full of pillows and blankets, and maybe her favorite stuffed animals? She needs to be able to express herself, I assume you let her know that you want to talk with her but that she needs to calm down first. I've also had to hold children with my arms AND legs crossed around them (I've seen adults get bitten this way too, though :( !!) She is obviously trying to break past the language boundaries that still hold her back. She must have something to say that she can't get it out. Try really hard to ask her to show you what she wants to say, by drawing you a picture or leading you... I wish I had more, and I hope I've given you at least one new idea!! I will have you in my prayers :)

Stephani - posted on 06/04/2009

get one set punishment and enforce it each and every time no matter what don't let her tantrum get in the way of the punishment, she will eventually calm down. i would also take her fav toys away and explain why, let her know that when she is able to act like a big girl she can have them back. repetition is the best way to enforce the punishment and let her know what's gonna to happen so that way she can learn. if that doesn't work you cal always call the Supper Nanny :)