Makeup and Tweens

Marie - posted on 01/07/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 10. She is very mature. She tells me that shes the only one that doesnt wear makeup in her class. She is in 5th grade. I was shocked. I blew it off didnt really think of it until I picked her up from a friends sleep over. SHE WASNT KIDDING. Even the parents that I thought would be strict daughter was wearing eyeliner. I was taken back by this. I truely see no problem with it as long as the child doesnt go heavy on it and isnt doing it for the reason of boys. I was personally thinking I would wait on it until at least middle school.. UNTIL. I got her last school pic. Honestly she looked like a little boy with long hair.. LOL. Ok how about like Jodi Foster in freaky friday.. She has lots of freckles blue eyes and light brown hair. Someone said she looked like danny from the partridge family but with out red hair.. WOW. lol so I was thinking about letting her put some eye liner on. Nothing dark just to bring out her eyes a little.. Maybe she wouldnt look like a little boy anymore.. HA I have let her for the past few days but I am still weary about it.

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MJ - posted on 10/07/2011

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In 5th grade I surprised my daughter with a "girl’s night"... strictly fingernail polish, something fun together. Shortly after she used it without permission a couple of times and made a little mess. The polish privilege was taken away for about a month. We talked about how sad it was for both of us, because of her using it without permission, behaving responsibly and perhaps in a month we could try again. Before the months end my sweet daughter had make-up (blush and lip gloss) hidden in her sock drawer. "But mom, a friend gave it to me! She wears make-up!" We talked about being honest with each other again. I explained to my dear child that even if someone else, or "all your friends" are wearing make-up that it doesn't matter to me, because "I'm the one who is your mom and I have to do what I think is right. First, you'll have to show more maturity and the ability to be more trustworthy. Maybe in a few months we can talk about this again. But you know, Honey, it's really too bad this had to happen. I was thinking about another "girl's night" soon!" She was so sad! About a month later we did have another special evening, Pizza/Movie/Fingernails. She really expressed how much she regretted her prior behavior and so happy I chose to give her another chance. Another month went by and I discovered hidden polish and a minor mess. Needless to say perhaps, but the polish disappeared by order of Mom! Since then its amazing how much she has actually matured... volunteering responsible opinions on her own behavior, and asking forgiveness, but without pushing me return the fingernail polish. The thing is, in my daughters case, as cool as the idea of 'girl's night' manicure was, she wasn't mature or responsible enough as yet. By mid-summer she was growing in so many different ways. YEH! I surprised her with, you guessed it…"girl's night." During our special evening I praised her on how she was showing more maturity and I felt she was beginning to get it figured out. And she has shown herself as being more honest and responsible! The reward? Most importantly she understands more of why being trusted is so important. And as she began middle school this fall I surprised her with a special gift bag: a couple bottles of her own fingernail polish, clear lip gloss, a colored one for evening wear or that special occasion, and Sweet 'Honesty' deodorant (pun intended/ we laugh about it together). Back to the fingernail polish… I don't really think of this as make-up, but a fun thing leading up to make-up. She seems to be letting up on biting her nails also. Only time will tell. Over-all, this package of goodies has given her a feeling of "womanliness" entering middle school, without going overboard (just a touch but not too much)! It's also led to more of those cool "chick chats" between mother and daughter! So awesome! Moment to moment… It’s our daughters that matter, not what "everyone else" is doing. It’s as individual as our daughters are unique. I keep reminding myself to trust in God to give me wisdom, as I pay attention to where my child is, her level of growth as a woman, but seeing clearly that she is still a little girl stuck between her Polly Pockets and Puberty!

Julie - posted on 01/11/2010

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I think makeup on one that young makes them look very hard and jaded. Just stick with the lipgloss, which should make her feel grown up but not LOOK too grown up.

Rosie - posted on 01/11/2010

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i personally don't see a problem with it as long as it isn't heavy and nasty looking. but if you are concerned or hesitant about it go with your gut, she's your kid. but for me personally, it's just makeup, and i know that in those tween years i felt very awkward about my self image and wearing a little makeup helped me feel better about myself.

Bonnie - posted on 01/11/2010

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Make up in an attraction and a distraction. 10 is way too young, I don't care how mature they are. My daughter is 9 and she has been told from day one that makeup is not allowed until she is 13 yrs old. No comments. She is allowed some lipgloss, but that is it. She is too beautiful to have to worry about enhancements like makeup anyway. Let them see that nature beauty is just that, natural and they don't need anything else.



Oh and that "Everybody else does it" excuse, doesn't hold water. Even if she is the only girl in class that doesn't wear makeup, does that make YOU a bad parent because YOU don't allow it. NO. It makes the other parents wrong FOR allowing it. Remember that.



As far as school goes, makeup is not allowed to be worn in Elementary school in our district. It is unnatural and a distraction.

Jennifer - posted on 01/11/2010

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I wouldn't take their appearance after a sleepover as proof of everyday. I teach elementary school, and think makeup is inappropriate for any of our girls. I have one student in SECOND GRADE who tries to wear mascara to school every day. *shaking head*

Kathy - posted on 01/10/2010

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My oldest daughter is going to be 12 this month and she just got her own makeup for Christmas. Otherwise before that it was lip gloss, maybe a little blush and eye shadow for picture day but that's it. The makeup I got her is pretty much neutral colors and I have sat her down and showed her how to apply the makeup and wash it off so she knows how. I am so glad my other, soon to be 10 yr old, daughter is not into all the girly things, lol.

Amie - posted on 01/08/2010

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Our oldest is 9 and going through the same thing. There are some already in her grade 4 class that are allowed to wear make up to school. Children should not be wearing make up. Ours is allowed lip gloss and that is all. There is no need for a child to be wearing make up. The only time she has ever worn make up is for her Halloween costumes or her dance recitals.

She is ok with this. We've sat and explained to her it is a grown up thing and when she is older she can use make up and I will show her how to put it on so she doesn't look like a painted up hootchy. My teenage sister went through the same thing when she was that age. She is now 16 and only just started wearing make up everyday in the last year. She has more confidence and self esteem than a good majority of her friends because of it. While they are fretting to find their make up and to look "perfect" she's walking out the door telling them to get over it.

As Joy said there are better things to get our young girls to focus on. Mine is in Navy cadets, band, cooking classes and Tae Kwon Do.

JL - posted on 01/07/2010

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I would only allow tinted gloss or chapstick nothing else. At home playing around with it is one thing but wearing that too school. IMO I just think we as women have become trapped by the beauty myth..focused on our looks, our weight, tons of makeup to hide the flaws, push up bras,pants with but lifts. I mean just think about how much money we as women all spend on beauty products to erase wrinkles or whatever so we can look better.Personally I am trying to steer my daughter away from that at a young age so she can first build confidence in her inner beauty and level of intelligence so that she wil be strong enough to avoid the beauty myth as much as possible. Girls should be encouraged by all us female adults to focus on school and after school activities that enhance their talents.

User - posted on 01/07/2010

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sparkly lip gloss and maybe a sheer eye shadow i think eye liner is too much, i wasnt allowed til eigth grade

Christa - posted on 01/07/2010

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Kids are growing up too fast these days. My daughter just started wearing makeup at 12.

Sharon - posted on 01/07/2010

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Tinted lip gloss, is the most I would allow at 10.

Sorry darling but make up is an adult thing. I do allow my daughter to "dress up" with me, I dust her face with powder and sprinkle on the fairy dust (makeup glitter) once in a great while. but she has to follow my routine too to wash "make up" off. She finds that very boring and generally opts to not wear "makeup".

My daughter is 7.

I'm pretty sure she won't be allowed real makeup until she is 16. of course I might die before then and I'm sure my husband will give in to make her happy.

Make up is for adults. It is generally used to enhance looks and increase sexuality. There is not reason 1 for a 10 yr old to increase their sexuality. sorry, unless you need grandkids really bad... I say pass on the makeup.

Kacy - posted on 01/07/2010

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My 13 yr. old daughter has just this year been alowed to wear make-up, (lip gloss, light eye shadow, mascara) and she was not the last one in her grade to do so. I have let my kiddos wear make-up for the stage or picture day, but not for every day till the 8th grade. Period.
I have heard other mothers say that they are getting the "but everybody else is doing it", but have never found this to be a compelling arguement, and I think letting them use it sends the message that it's O.K. to do questionable things if they are socially popular.
It has been my experience that it is a slippery slope of sexualization, and the girls who went to school with my kids and wore make-up early are the same ones who now(in 7th & 8th) show up in shorts or mini skirts, and spaghetti-strap tanks(BTW it's JANUARY!)

Firebird - posted on 01/07/2010

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10? Wow, that's too young in my opinion, my daughter will not be permitted to wear any makeup out of the house until she is 14. Halloween and school plays would be the only exceptions. I don't consider lip gloss to be makeup.

Sylvia - posted on 01/07/2010

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I wouldn't let a ten-year-old wear makeup (unless it was for a dance recital or something, I guess). Bat mitzva age, maybe ... but even then, not every day. I mean, I don't even wear makeup every day.

Of course, mine is still only seven, so this argument is still in my future, I guess...

Stephanie - posted on 01/07/2010

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I have a 10 year old in 5th grade too... the school does not allow makeup and for that I am truley grateful! I do let her wear lipgloss on the weekends though... but the rest of it will have to wait until middle school...

Ashley - posted on 01/07/2010

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I think eyeliner and lip gloss is fine at that age, there is no harm in it!

Krista - posted on 01/07/2010

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I would maybe limit it to things like parties,school pictures, and other special events. In my opinion, 10 years old is too young for daily makeup, except maybe for some lip gloss.

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