MARRIAGE IS BEAUTIFUL RIGHT??

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User - posted on 06/05/2009

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I think that in marriage, like most things in life, we get out of it what we put into it. If we put love, care, respect, time, and effort into it, we reap the benefits of those in a loving, caring, relationship in which both partners are happy. That means that both people have to WANT things to be great and be willing to WORK to make them so. Every marriage has its ups and downs, but if you put good things into your marriage, you tend to get good things out.

Malinda - posted on 06/11/2009

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It sounds like you're looking for some comfort about marriage in general and knowledge that you're making the right choice. Here is some pre-wedding reading I recommend for you:

101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged: http://www.amazon.com/Questions-Before-E...

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail and how you can make yours last: http://www.amazon.com/Why-Marriages-Succ...



These are great resources to give you a foundation for what sorts of things will help your marriage stay happy. Certainly not all knowledge comes from books, but the information with these will help you build your own tools and ways to handle conflict and feel certain that you're marrying the "right" person.



GL! And the short answer to your question is YES, it certainly CAN be, but not just by virtue of itself. The people in the marriage is what makes a marriage beautiful.

Tajah - posted on 06/11/2009

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Marriage is beautiful but its a heck of a lot of work. You will have those days when nothing goes right and you may one day have the biggest fight of your life. However you learn from it the difference between dating and marriage is that when you date someone you can walk away but when you are married you, think about it before you do any walking. The good times trump the day. My husband and I have a saying you have to like the person you are with before you love them and before you fall in love with them. Because what do you have left when you fall out of love.

Mechelle - posted on 06/11/2009

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Marriage takes work. It's all about communication, appreciation, and showing that you love each other all the time. Eventually you'll learn things about each other and find a middle ground for everything and it becomes Perfect.

Ariel - posted on 06/09/2009

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Marriage is beautiful the way a Chinese Pug is beautiful. Sometimes you look at it closely and go "dang, that thing is ugly", and sometimes you look at it and think "aww, it's so beautiful because I love it so much". More importantly than it being beautiful, it should be fun! It should be a combination of work and play. Like a puzzle almost; confusing, challenging, needing a lot of patience, but fun and rewarding as well.

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Ariel - posted on 06/09/2009

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Quoting jacque:

yes it is awesome, if you don't want to go some where all you say is my husband wants me tostay home


Too funny!  My husband tells his buddies that I won't let him do stuff, so he doesn't have to also.  :)  Nothing like using the wife to get out of boring get-togethers with people from work.

Angie - posted on 06/09/2009

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Quoting Sharon:

I also need to add in my own 2 cents, JMO, no one has to comment. My marriage is between ME and MY HUSBAND. No one else. We're not religious people, so that's out of the equation. We are grown adults, so we don't need to report to our parents. Sometimes people like to butt into our marriage and think they can solve all of the problems. I can't stand nosey people and what works for US, is none of THEIR business!



I can't agree with leaving other people out of your marriage.  I know a "couple" that actually has the mil fly half way across the country every time they paint a room or clean the carpets.  I am glad that dh and I are independent of our families and have never had to ask our families for any help other than asking them to babysit for us 5 times in 20 years!  We love our parents but we prefer not to involve them in our decision making except an ocassional opinion which we may or may not take - LOL.

Jacque - posted on 06/09/2009

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yes it is awesome, if you don't want to go some where all you say is my husband wants me tostay home

Shirley - posted on 06/09/2009

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Marriage can be a beautiful thing until certain issues rear their ugly head (finances, children--especially in remarriages, in-laws). It's like giving birth, you feel pain, you scream, you cry, you curse, then out comes this beautiful being that will give you joy for the rest of your life. It still requires a huge amount of work and sacrifices, but it's all worth it in the end when you are both harmoniously secure in your love for each other. P.S. An even bigger factor is to have mutual respect for each other.

Tabatha - posted on 06/09/2009

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it all depends on the marriage. i love me husband to death and couldnt imagine my future without him but there are others that make you wonder why they even got married they are just miserable and everything, i think it depends on why you got married and if it was a good reason just because you have a baby togather or are in love doesnt mean it is a good reason jim and i talk a lot and i asked him before we got married i asked him what do u see in your future he started nameing things and then he grabbed my hand and said and i cant see any of that without you i think that if you cant see a future without the other person then that is a good reason me and my husband as of this past v-day has been married for 6 years and been through so much and we both agree that sure we could of done it without eachother but to have someone like him or me by their side made it more possible

Jessica - posted on 06/09/2009

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Quoting Sharon:

I also need to add in my own 2 cents, JMO, no one has to comment. My marriage is between ME and MY HUSBAND. No one else. We're not religious people, so that's out of the equation. We are grown adults, so we don't need to report to our parents. Sometimes people like to butt into our marriage and think they can solve all of the problems. I can't stand nosey people and what works for US, is none of THEIR business!



I agree.  Marriage is hard when two people are trying to work together but then if bring in friends, MIL's, FIL's, sisters and brothers that's when the chaos begins.  Advice is one thing but taking everything to heart about whatever they are saying is another thing completely.  Marriage is between 2 people and what goes on in your relationship only becomes other peoples business when you make it so and when you do it opens alot of windows and doors for all kinds of crap to come flying in.    

[deleted account]

I also need to add in my own 2 cents, JMO, no one has to comment. My marriage is between ME and MY HUSBAND. No one else. We're not religious people, so that's out of the equation. We are grown adults, so we don't need to report to our parents. Sometimes people like to butt into our marriage and think they can solve all of the problems. I can't stand nosey people and what works for US, is none of THEIR business!

[deleted account]

Quoting Tamara:

Sure. Everyone who wants to get married, regardless of gender, should be able to do it.



I agree with you 100%!



Marriage is hard work.  I've been with my hubby for 16 years, and in 2 weeks we will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary.  Lots of arguments and emotional roller coasters  over the past decade, but we always work things out.

Debbie - posted on 06/09/2009

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Kenya yes it is a beautiful thing! Always remember never go to bed angry with each other. Sex is NOT a weapon. Communicate, communicate, communicate! And if you truly love each other love can conquer even the highest mountains! Life is full of ups and downs sit back and take time to enjoy the ride otherwise you miss out on alot of beautiful things! God Bless and have a wonderful time growing old with the one you love!

Francesca - posted on 06/09/2009

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marriage is a wonderful thing it brings me great happiness, although at times hard there's the making up part which is the best LOL

Augusta - posted on 06/09/2009

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yes been married for 28 yrs we where rather young and i don't recommended people getting married as young as we where (he was 16 i was 18) but we have 6 great kids. but of course in every marriage there will be happy days and some days that you want to kill him lol but it makes you stronger and you end up knowing each other better, and try to make him smile each day and listen that's the most important thing.

Sara - posted on 06/09/2009

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Most of time, yes! I love my husband, but when you come home from a long day to his dirty socks on the lviing room floor, it doesn't always seem so beautiful. :)

Erinn - posted on 06/09/2009

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Marriage is a wonderful thing!! Not always EASY, but my vows mean everything to me.. just like my children.. You get out what you put in..Good luck!!

La - posted on 06/09/2009

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I thought i did everything right when i married my husband. We were raised in similar backgrounds Dutch-German-English and we attended sister churches.
But I've found out over these past 15 years that my husband does NOT like to sacrifice. He leaves that up to the boys and me.
He would rather spend his free time with his friends who have Sports Center and booze, than our family. He thinks being a parent is too hard.
So i am screwed, but i am happy you found a man who values you and your family.
G-d bless you all!

Angie - posted on 06/08/2009

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Yes, marriage is an amazing thing as long as you remember that it is not just between husband and wife but between husband, wife and GOD. Good luck! I have been married for 20 years and have loved almost every minute of it. While it is hard work, most of the time it has been amazing.

Maria - posted on 06/08/2009

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Yes, if you jump in, walk down the line, do the leapfrog or however you want to call it, so long as you do it with your eyes wide open, and you know very well what you're getting into. I'm married now for 19 years, and still going strong. Marriage is beautiful; married life is even better when you work it as a couple.

Lydia - posted on 06/08/2009

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My Partner and I have been living together for 12 years. He has no interest in getting married but that doesnt mean he loves me any less. I also know other couples who have decided not to get married who have simply made a commitment to one another and are now into the 20+ years into their relationships. Marriage is not the commitment it is a ritaul that symbolises a comitment that has already been made. It is definately a beutiful thing but it is not necessary for a life long relationship.

[deleted account]

I agree with most of the posters so far. I think marriage is terrific and I also think it's hard work and you get what you put into it. I disagree that living together is the same. I found that the guys who wanted to live with me were ones that (I now see in hindsight) would have made lousy long-term partners and even worse fathers. (Good for you if your mileage varied) I think the kind of guy who loves, respects and is committed enough to you to say "Let's get married" is going to be a much better bet for the future than a guy who says, "Let's live together". I know the guy I married is still around TWENTY years later. All of the people I know who were living together when I got married are long since broken up.

Ethiopia - posted on 06/08/2009

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Quoting Holly:

Yes I think marriage is wonderfull ,and i think that its so wonderfull that men and women can love each other so much and that it is a blessing from GOD above ....every day you will have trials and tribulations .always rember when to fight to fight with out hurting words ,and never to blame but ur self ,never go to bed with out saying i love u ,good nite and treat each othe with respect ...I total agree with ETHIOPIA how many years have you been married ?for me 5 blessed yrs



Hi, how are you? I have been married for 9 1/2 years and counting...

Tamara Ivette - posted on 06/06/2009

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YES!!! If you both truly love each other, then you can MATURELY WORK TOGETHER THROUGH ANYTHING!!!

Jessica - posted on 06/06/2009

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Quoting Tamara:

Sure. Everyone who wants to get married, regardless of gender, should be able to do it.



I agree 100%! 

Marriage is beautiful no matter what race, religion or sex the two people are!!

Tamara - posted on 06/06/2009

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Sure. Everyone who wants to get married, regardless of gender, should be able to do it.

Holly - posted on 06/06/2009

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Yes I think marriage is wonderfull ,and i think that its so wonderfull that men and women can love each other so much and that it is a blessing from GOD above ....every day you will have trials and tribulations .always rember when to fight to fight with out hurting words ,and never to blame but ur self ,never go to bed with out saying i love u ,good nite and treat each othe with respect ...I total agree with ETHIOPIA how many years have you been married ?for me 5 blessed yrs

Ethiopia - posted on 06/06/2009

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Yes, marriage is beautiful, it was ordained by God........There will be Trials & tribulations...but always go back & remember how & why you fell in love.....

Michelle - posted on 06/05/2009

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After children you have to remind yourself of that from time to time...LOL

LaCi - posted on 06/05/2009

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I think love is beautiful, marriage or not. I'm not so into the idea of marriage, I'm "living as married" with my sons father. Who knows, it may already be common law marriage, im not sure how that works here. But yeah, love is nice :)

Abbie - posted on 06/05/2009

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It can be, but its also something you will work the hardest at! There is no one there to tell you what to do; marriage is a joint partnership, takes 2 to make it work as well as 2 to destroy it. You have to put 110% EACH to make it work.

Boluwatife - posted on 06/05/2009

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Yes,I agree with Annie that long as you are with your true soul mate,marriage is then beautiful,but mind,don't expect all to be rosy at all times,there definitely will be ups and downs.

Jeanne - posted on 06/05/2009

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It can be with the right person for you - one who is loving, caring, understanding and accepts you for who you are...then yes marriage is a beautiful thing.

Coury - posted on 06/05/2009

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yes i agree you have to go through some before finding the "one" youo spend the rest of your life with! i was with my sons father,didnt work. and then i married my daughters father,didnt work. but now i am happily settled with my fiance! we even moved from oklahoma to brooklyn! he is the best father to my children and he is the man i want to spend the rest of my life with. it takes work but its not hard work. it is something you want to work for! most of it should come natural!

User - posted on 06/05/2009

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Yes, it is beautiful ! It's always a partnership and has to be worked on everyday to make it work. Communication is the best thing. Take Care

Mikesha - posted on 06/05/2009

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Yes it is! There are ups and downs which is normal. It's all in how you handle whatever comes your way. Marriage is work but worth it if you are with the one you plan to spend the rest of your life with.

Ebony - posted on 06/05/2009

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Yes! Marriage is wonderful to know that you will always have your back through thick and thin.. I agree with Heidi you have to compromise and be able to adapt in order for marriage to work out but it is definitely a beautiful thing..

Marta - posted on 06/05/2009

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Marriage has its ups and downs;there's no such thing as a perfect marriage. Every couple has their quirrals but as long as you're both willing to compromise you can have a beautiful, dynamic marriage which works. Sometimes it's easier to just bite your tongue and let him have his way, he'll realize very quickly that you were right. Just respect eachother and let the little things go and you sould have success.

Lydia - posted on 06/05/2009

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Most of the time - although Im just guessing I have been with my other half for almost 12 years so I cant see much changing after our wedding! I think marriage is what you make it - but that goes with just about everything.

Leriz - posted on 06/05/2009

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It surely is...especially with my hubby...he is so loyal, resposible, hard working, loving, He's just everything I could ask for...

Heidi - posted on 06/05/2009

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Good question! For most people marriage is a beautiful thing. I think you have to go through a few frogs, as I did, before you find you prince charming. Its a lot of work, but if you work together as a couple and a team it is beautiful.

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