Marrying Young

Rachael - posted on 12/07/2009

I got married at 20 and we've been married for about a year. For me it is kind of mixed anout it. I love my husband and think I made a good choice with being with him. We don't fight that much and we aren't as set in our ways so we are more willing to compromise on home issues and child raising. On the other hand it makes it harder to identify with my friends because alot of them are still dating and don't have kids and don't have to work. Also sometimes, when you talk to your friends, you kind of miss being single and dating. You kind of feel like you are missing out on that. But overall I am happy with getting married and wouldn't want to lose my husband just because I wanted to have fun for a while longer.

Jodi - posted on 12/07/2009

My husband and I will have been married for 3 years come August. We got married when we were 21, as of this month, we have been together for 6 years. I love my husband and life is pretty good, we have a house and a little girl together. Like any marriage, young or old there are struggles. One thing is for certain, marrying young means you're not quite set in life yet. Neither of us were out of college, neither of us had a good paying, steady job or much money set aside. That being said, we've had fun finding ways to have fun and be in love the cheap way! Looking back, I wish we would have waited a while longer so that we could be more ready for family life. The other thing I would like to mention is that there is a vast difference in dating and living together and being married. Within 6 months of being married we came to realize that "the chase was off". We lost just a little bit of that spark. We love each other very much, but being 24 and settled can be unnerving at times. I wish we would have waited a few years more so that we could enjoy not being legally bound to any one person. Until you're married you're single, you have your whole life to be married, but only a small window of time to enjoy being single. I hope this helps, message if you need anything else and good luck on your paper!!

Melissa - posted on 12/07/2009

I was married when I was 21 and my husband was 26 (so I guess he doesn't really count for this, haha). I was 22 when I had our first child (I'm 23 now). We've been married since April 2008. I love that I was able to be married so young... I have always wanted to be a younger mom, which wouldn't have worked out for me if I wasn't married (it wasn't a shotgun wedding... we were married about 8 months before we found out we were pregnant). I've had a great time being married. Even though I'm pretty young, I was MORE than ready to leave the dating scene behind. I had already finished college (which was my father's condition when my husband asked him for my hand) so I don't feel like I missed out on anything. It's good to know that all those stupid games are over, and I just have someone who's going to love me, period. However, I've also known my husband since I was fifteen, and we were best friends for YEARS before we even started dating. So I think the key to young marriage is to REALLY know the person you're marrying, and not marrying the guy you've dated for a year or whatever.

Mary - posted on 12/07/2009

Hi Stephanie,
I dated a guy all through high school. I never went to any games or school activities. I got married to the guy at age 19 and divorced at age 20. I thought I was so grown up. I thought I was mature enough to know what I wanted. Maybe if I had got to do all the things my friends did, it might have been different. I felt like I missed out on everything! Even college! ;-(

Lucy - posted on 12/07/2009

I really think the likelihood of success in a marriage is down to the emotional maturity of both partners, as well as realising it is something you have to work hard at to reap the benefits of happiness and longevity. I suppose these traits are more often found in older people, but that doesn't mean there aren't some youngsters who also have them. It would be interesting to know some statistics about what age most divorcing or divorced couples were when they got married. Myself, I've been with my husband for 13 years, since I was 16, and we've been married for nearly 7 years now. I don't really know any other couples that have been together since they were that young to make a comparison, but I can say that we have two gorgeous kids (2 and 3) and we are happier than ever. Of course, we have had our tough times to work through, but I don't think any more or less so than couples I know who married older.

Kate CP - posted on 12/07/2009

I was 20 when I tied the knot with my husband (he was 23 at the time) and our marriage is fantastic. However, we had known each other and been together for almost 6 years. May of 2010 will be 12 years together. I never recommend people younger than 25 marrying because (usually) they haven't known each other for that long and they are still changing and growing themselves. My situation was not the norm by any means so I don't think my story should be a basis for comparison for any couple looking to marry before the age of 25.

Sarah - posted on 12/07/2009

I was married when I was 20. My husband and I were both military and things have been rocky and nice. I believe at any age a marriage is something you have to work on. I am 24 now and we have had some hurdles, deployments, babies, and othere things but I dont believe age has much to do with it. It is fun doing doing new things together and having my rock to relay one. It is frustrating sometimes when you wanna just be young and dumb but your not even close. lol I guess growing up isn't so bad either I have different experences than my friends but I think I like mine the best.

Karen - posted on 12/07/2009

when me and my husband got married we were 20 and we've been married for 4 1/2 years now. we've had our ups and downs but i believe its the best thing i've ever done besides my children. we've been together since we were 16 and love every minute we can spend with each other. were the only married couple with our friends and we still hang out with them and do the partying thing from time to time and we do it together. it doesn't matter how old you are when you get married, it just depends on if your ready for marriage and the commitment it takes to make it work. people fall in and out of love every day no matter their age. love, trust, honesty, and being able to laugh together keeps it going!!

Anne - posted on 12/07/2009

My husband and I were married when I was 24 and he was a week from 24. We will be married 30 years on Dec. 29 of this year. We were very fortunate that he had a good job and both of our parents were supportive. For us I can say that it was not so much our "Age" but my immaturity that was our biggest problem. No he was not perfect but I was a Classic "Daddies Little Girl" It took be about 3 years to grow up. The biggest aspect of our dating relationship and our Marriage has bee our Love For God and Putting Him First.

I would be happy to answer any other questions that would help you with this paper. Just send me a message.

Melissa - posted on 12/07/2009

I got married when i was 18 and he was 18 as well. we had also had a baby already. so i guess it just depends on the people. and if it is true and real then you can make it through anything. we have been together 8 years now. And trust we had our bad moments. but then again if love was supposed to be so easy and you didnt have to oversome certain obstacles than it wouldnt be worth it. lol. I think you have to definatly be strong not just for yourself but your spouse as well and children ( if you have any).So you can hold them up when times are down and the same for the opposite. I look back and yea i missed out on a lot but you know i wouldnt change anything cause i am blessed with my family. And we beat the odds and still going strong. lol.

Simone - posted on 12/07/2009

I got married when i was 17 and he was 26... lol no i was not pregnant. we had two kids when i was 18 and 20 but, now we're in the middle of a divorce. so, 9 yrs of marraige and a 1 1/2 of dating... still doesnt mean you know a person. In my experiece i'd say wait it out and know the person as well as humanly possible first and dont dilude your self by being young in mind and heart.... reality is a harsh place to live.

Cristi - posted on 12/07/2009

I think it depends on the people, I got married at 17 and he was 20, it was a struggle from day one, we were to young and imature to realize what it actualy took to make a marriage work, we spent 8 years making each other miserable because we had to much pride to say we messed up, we never had kids which in the end was a blessing. I'm now 34 and married to the greatest man ever, we have been together for almost 8 years and have two great kids, we have had our ups and downs just like everyone else, but with age comes wisdom and we know to make it work we have to work at it.

Carmen Una - posted on 12/07/2009

I am 24 and got married when i was 19. I am married for 5 years now and it feels like forever. I married someone who is a true friend. Someone who understands me better than myself. I just thank God that i am happy and i pray that it will continue this way. What you put in a marriage is what you will get out and it definely should not be one sided else it will not last. Some marry for a feeling and that feeling tends to die after a while. People should marry someone that they can picture growing old with. Someone that will be there through the good and the bad times.

Crystal - posted on 12/07/2009

I married at 18. My husband was 21. We were both very young. We just celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary and are more in love with each other everyday! We now have 2 beautiful girls ages 6 and 1. I agree that it just depends on your attitude about marriage~marrying young is not for everyone! but I wouldn't have it any other way! You have to be able to accept the fact that it is not about WHAT you have in life that matters it is WHO you have there to share it with!

Jamie - posted on 12/07/2009

I got married when I was 24 and he was 25. We've been together since I was 19 so even though people thought it was young, we were together 5 yrs when we got married. I don't think it was a mistake at all because we knew what we were getting into. We had our ups and downs but throughout the years we learned to compromise and thats the most important thing to learn. People today fall in love and get married so fast and the first arguments they get into they get divorced. You need to be ready to move on and get married otherwise it will never work. We have been married 2 yrs, together 7, and have a beautiful baby boy. What else can I ask for!

Mary Rose - posted on 12/07/2009

i was married when i was 19 (already 7 months pregnant). i married a very wonderful person and i can say that we have a good life. But the first 3 years was really hard - i was studying while taking care of my children (got pregnant again after 2 years). i guess one thing that made a difference is that my husband already finished his degree by that time so he did not struggled to find a job. Also our parents are very supportive.

but i think the most important thing is not about age - both individulas need to be stable emotinally and financially before marriage. if i could do it again i would choose to finish school first and be self-sufficient before getting married. Best wishes to you and one advise - patience and understanding plays a big factor in marriage.

Georgia - posted on 12/07/2009

I was married when I was 23 and he was 24. What a mistake! We had preconceived notions of what marriage was supposed to be like... okay, at least I did... and it was just too hard to try and make our real life fit into what was imagined. We met in a bar (I was 21 at the time) and dated for about 3 months before he was done with school and went home (to Australia!). Then we did the long distance thing for a couple years, which is what romantised everything even more for us because we had such little contact really. I'd ring him or he'd ring me once a week and we'd write letters. In the 2 years before he returned to Los Angeles, I visited him once for 2 weeks.

We married a couple months after he moved to the states as my fiance and were married for 5 years. I was the one who called it quits and then left the country to travel and work. We kept in touch by writing and email, and to this day I love him to bits because he's really the only family I've had since my teens. We're still friends (even friends on facebook), but we're both remarried with kids. He was (and is) a great man, but we are just too different people and should never have been more than friends.

Michelle - posted on 12/07/2009

I got married at 23 my husband was 21 we have been married for 6 years now and dated 5 years before that.



I am adding this later as I forgot to add it before. We also went to a weekend marriage encouterment weekend before we got married. There we talked about a lot of different things that come up in marriage, such as what church to go to, children, in laws, money, ect.

Brittany - posted on 12/07/2009

I was 19 and my husbad was 21 when we got married. I can't say too much because we will have been married a year in January but it is wonderful so far.

Kristina - posted on 12/07/2009

I married my husband when I was 20 (yesterday we celebrated our 6 year anniversary)and it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Janice - posted on 12/07/2009

I think it all depends on the two individuals. I have always taken my relationships seriously, so had my husband. I myself have always dreamt of being married since I was a little girl. I got married at the age of 22, my husband was 25. We were both tired of the 'crazy' past relationships, not finding the right person etc., we wanted to find that someone that wanted to settle down, have a family. Luckily I found him, he found me. We've been married for 3 years. It has had its ups and downs, just like every other relationship. But we've been happy, it's only what you make it. Age to me is just a number, if you know what you want and your partner is on the same page, I say go for it. Life itself is a learning process, if it doesn't work, you know what to do the next time. Congrats on your engagement as well!

Fiona - posted on 12/07/2009

Hi,
I believe it all depends on the person. A friend of mine currently 22 married at 18 is now having problems. In there case i dont believe they were ready for marriage.
I am 22 getting married in august when im 23, i think im the right age not too young

Cindy - posted on 12/07/2009

We were married young. I was 19 and my hubby was 20. We've been married for 5 1/2 yrs and it's going preety great. I do on occasion find myself wishing I would have waited a bit longer but, it's alot easier for me because almost all my friedns are married as well now so I don't really have that single friend evny(like being able to just go out to a bar or club anytime they want to).