Mean Teacher or am I overreacting?

Wendi - posted on 09/27/2009 ( 166 moms have responded )

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My daughter is in third grade and I have been having a problem with a lot of the things her teacher is doing. For starters, she yells at the class all the time. She yelled at them because not enough parents brought in tissues (part of the school supplies), My daughter brought hers in (not that it really matters), but still got screamed at with the rest of the class. She has kept the whole class in from recess because a couple of kids didn't score well on test, she reads their test score out loud and makes comments on them (Valerie got a 50 on her test, she must not have been trying). She doesn't give clear directions for homework, then yells if they do it wrong. One night we were unclear, so I had her do more that I thought she was supposed to because we had missed stuff in the past. Savannah got yelled at and told "I might want to assign that another night and you've already done it! I have never heard of someone yelling because they did too much work! She told them on conference day that she was not going to put any of their work up because she was not going to embarass them and their parents by showing their work (how dare she tell my child I'm embarassed of her!).

When I went in for the conference (There was no work displayed for any of the kids) she was almost hateful when she talked about my child. She started the conversation with "She's not even trying!" and it went downhill from there. My daughter has ADD and the things she was discribing are very typical behavior for that (starring off into space, disorganization, not finishing things). I know it's frustrating, but my daughter is also one of the sweetest, most polite, most loving children (this is not just a mother talking, I'm getting this from every other teacher she has ever had). She seems to have a lot of anger towards Savannah.

Savannah loves her classmates, but she's afraid of her teacher. She is very sensitive and is very much a people-pleaser. I'm not real sure what, if anything, I should do. What do you think?

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Candi - posted on 09/27/2009

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definitely not over-reacting! Start a log noting the date and exactly what the teacher did. Do you know any of the other parents? If so, get together with them on this and go to the principal. They can try to dismiss the complaints of one parent but not multiple parents!

Liesa - posted on 10/05/2009

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You are not over reacting. A friend of mine had the same thing with her son and his teacher. I would talk to the principle and then I would see if you could transfer her to another class. And don't take no for an answer. This teacher should not be teaching children. She should be fired!

Kathi - posted on 10/01/2009

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This behavior is completely unacceptable and in no way should your daughter have to deal with this kind of emotional abuse. If this teacher is not capable of being a nurturing, caring teacher, then she needs to find a new carrer. As a paraprofessional in a speciel education class I am completely appalled at this teacher's behavior. If your mommy alarms are going off, lsten to them.

Tegan - posted on 10/04/2009

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Wow, I wanted to read your post because I'm a teacher and thought I could shed some light but my goodness I'm shocked by the behavior of another teacher and I'm sorry your child is going through this. I can advise you to address these things: reading of scores aloud (illegal in most states), your daughter's ADD, and how she handled the parent-teacher conference. I would ask for a meeting with your principal and the teacher to address these things. I'm not saying the yelling and other things aren't important but since you weren't there it can be dismissed as a kid vs teacher thing. Be as nice, matter of fact and unemotional as you can be while addressing these things. If there is no improvement after a few weeks, you should ask for a transfer. You can simply say that it isn't a good fit for your daughter with her ADD (you have a lot of rights with regard to this disability). I hope this helps and please post how things are going. I'm hoping she's a good teacher deep down but is experiencing some personal problems. Good luck.

Diana - posted on 10/03/2009

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I'm a Teacher's Aide. And I was wondering if you have asked some of the other parents about the behavior of this teacher??? Check to see if some of the other parents have this kind of problem as well with their kids. If so then get together with some other parents and go to the principal. I would also recommend you paying a surprise visit to the class. Some children seem to exaggerate. I'm not saying your child is doing this. But it does happen.

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Christina - posted on 04/13/2011

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I'd report this teacher and have her fired! From what you've described, she's not qualified to teach kids! Go the principal, school district, anywhere you possibly can and tell them what this teacher is doing. If that doesn't do any good, pull her out of that teacher's class and put her in another class as well as file a complaint, I'd file a complaint anyway! Good luck!

Richelle - posted on 03/13/2011

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Make sure that you have written notes with a timeline of the negative events that you've witnessed from this teacher, then I would talk to the principal about this and the teacher and demand that your daughter be placed in a different classroom. In my state, and most others a teacher is not allowed to give out ANY other information about other students and that includes grades. If they aren't willing to move your student and discipline the teacher, take it further and go straight to the top with this. You could also see if there is a teacher's union and file a complaint against her there.

Tracy - posted on 10/09/2009

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I would go to the school. I would request a meeting with this teacher. I would then sit down and discuss all the things with the teacher that you have discussed on here. Tell her that this kind of behavior towards your daughter will not be tolerated. She is there to teach your child, not be their parent. If there is no change in the classroom after your meeting, I would go and talk to the principal about this. I would NEVER allow anyone to treat my children in a degrading way, and it seems like you have enough problems with the ADD, that you don't need anymore. Keep notes, and get in there and stand up for your child. Don't wait. Unfortunately, there's always one spoiled apple in the bunch....this could be the start to the worst experience in your child's life. If your child says there's no change, request that your child be put in a different class. I would ask the principal for the information to get a hold of other parents whose children are in this class, and see if their child has been experiencing the same stress....bring some back-up if this is the case....I wish you luck...seems like a real winner of a teacher! :(

Toni - posted on 10/05/2009

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Is there a PTO or other outreach in your child's school for parents to connect with each other? This may help you realize how much she is doing this to other children and parents also. As a group it would be easier to take on this kind of a situation. I do not believe that any child under any circumstances should have to be diminished and put down this much especially from a teacher. With all of the things going around in society the last thing parents need is teachers that think this kind of behavior is right for our kids. Hope that you can find the strength to take a stand before it effects your daughter. GOOD LUCK

Barbara - posted on 10/04/2009

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Some teachers just don't know how to respond to children. Would it be possible for her to be moved into a different class? If not, you might want to pray for this struggling teacher. She is possibly disturbed about something. I was not so fortunate when our yougest was in the fourth grade. I didn't know how to handle this teacher. She would grab my child by the arm and shake her. I knew this was wrong, so I made an appointment with the teacher and her principal. That's when the teacher said that my child rolled her eyes at the teacher (this was the teacher speaking). I simply told her what a therapyst had told me. If that bothers you (the teacher) then take it away from her. The teacher then looked at me astonished and said,"You mean act like it dosen't bother me?" I said, "Yes, take it away from her." The principal was totally on the teacher's side. We had just moved from another city in the same state and I was allowing my daughter to correspond with that teacher. Anything to let her transformation to a new city be easer. That was simply not heard of at her new school. I just prayed the teacher would retire soon. I hope this helps. Hugs, Miss B

Brenda - posted on 10/04/2009

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I work for a school and that behavior is unacceptable. Go directly to the school principal and make a complaint. If there is another third grade class have her transfered into the other room. Also if there are other parents who feel the same way form a united front go to the principal together.

Dawn - posted on 10/04/2009

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Has anyone else complained about the teacher? I would try to get reactions from other parents and then maybe a petition and take it to the principal or even school board. There is no reason a child should be belittled for anything! This teacher may want some help to rethink her occupation choices!

V - posted on 10/04/2009

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your not over-reacting the teacher is in the wrong and should not be teaching. when i was in grades 7 and 8 i had a teacher tell me i was too stupid to make it throw grade 9. not only did i graduate from high school, i graduated from 2 colleges. but whenever i think about what that teacher told be i just want to cry. teachers can and do have a big impact on a child. if you can keep a note book of everything that is going on, and speak with the Principal, if things don't change try going to the school board.

Carol - posted on 10/04/2009

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I would have a meeting with the school principal and maybe with the district superintinent, this behavior is not right...My daughter went through the same thing when she was in 2nd grade. She is now 32 years old and still remembers the terrible year she had..Her teacher was going through a rough time in her own life and taking it out on the children....The principal needs to pop in the class and watch her teach....Bring your letter you wrote, and show it to him, you are right on...do not let another day pass without doing something...your daughter needs to know that you are right there by her side...Good luck, Carol

Stacey - posted on 10/04/2009

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Get her out of that class ASAP and report the teacher to the appropriate people. She is going to ruin school for those young children and ruin their self esteem.

Melissa - posted on 10/03/2009

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Submit a formal complaint to the Principal, request a meeting with the teacher and principal, and get documentation from other parents to support your claims. This teacher needs to be fired!

[deleted account]

ok well, this is going a bit far...DEPENDING ON CHILDS BEHAVIOR! If a child is disrupting class, they would be lucky to get in a corner, I would send you to the principals office and make you call your parent and let them know what you are doing and that you are preventing others from learning! This is A BIG PART PF THE REASON KIDS ACT THE WAY THEY DO IN CLASS OR SOCIETY IS BECAUSE PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE "MISTREATED AND ARE GOING TO SUE!" THIS IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS AND ABSURD! THAT'S TEACHING CHILDREN OF TOMORROW THE WRONG IDEA! IF YOU DO WRONG YOU DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED! THIS WORLD IS TOO SUE HAPPY! IT SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED!

[deleted account]

ok Susan! She is looking for help not for you to put her down! I am sure she has a back bone! It doesn't really work that way! First before any of that would happen an "investigation" would have to happen, they just won't "throw a teacher under the bus" for what one person says, they will investigate and take appropriate actions. Maybe the teacher had something bad happen that nobody knows about and if she brings it to her attention maybe she didn't realize she was doing it...she may be a teacher but SHE IS HUMAN TOO! sometimes we all need to think before we speak!

[deleted account]

I know here in our school district we are "supposed" to go to the teacher first, however, I don't think I would! I would definately, well maybe I would but I would tell her if my child is doing something wrong let us know and we will be happy to talk with our child provide her with all phone numbers where you can be reached at all times and an email and if she yells one more time at your child or anyone in the class or reads her scores or anyone else's with a name (it is ok to let the children know say test scores are from say 50% - 75% without names but not say Susie got a 20% and Johnny got 50%...) you will be speaking with the principal immediately. i might also give them a heads up of what happened and you are not happy with the way she is handling her class room. You could even slip a voice recorder in her back pack to catch what's happening, we have almost done that before. Good Luck! Ressaure you child it's not her fault and she is doing her best....Please post updates on how things are going!! Robin

Becky - posted on 10/03/2009

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WOW is this teacher in the wrong! In my opinion, you should go to the principal and make him aware of what is going on. I would also consider getting your daughter out of that lady's class, especially if she's afraid of her!!

A lot of parents seem to put blame on the teachers for everything, they only listen to what their children say and usually don't have all the facts...but this definitely is not the case! I hope there's a quick resolution for you and your baby girl!!

Kathy - posted on 10/03/2009

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I can't base this on my experience as a parent as my baby is only 12 days old, BUT I had a really mean teacher when I was in grade 5 and my parents made several calls to the principle, and talked to the teacher more than once. I can't remember it getting alot better but it did make a difference, but if you can get other parents to complain to something will get done because they can't ignore a handful of complaints...

Theresa - posted on 10/03/2009

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Request a conference with principal and counselor at school. You are your child's best advocate. Get her out of that classroom at all costs. If she is not on any programs for her own protection, insist on a Federal 504 assignment that allows accomodations for your daughter to complete assignments, testing and so on. Good luck and be sure to document it all. Good Luck.

Mary Ellen - posted on 10/03/2009

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I would definitely set up a conference! If you feel uncomfortable talking directly to just the teacher ask if you can have a conference with the principal and the teacher.



If your daughter has a diagnosis of ADD she is eligible for an IEP or 504 plan which should get her federally mandated accomodations and services to help her suceed in school! The http://www.wrightslaw.com/ WrightsLaw website has a lot of useful information and I highly recommend their book "From Emotions to Advocacy." Terrific!



One thing that is helpful is to try to put yourself in the perspective of the teacher and begin by saying something nice first (which is what *THEY* should also be doing with you as a parent!). Ideally you want a good relationship with the teacher and you want to be a team working together to best help your child. It sounds like that may be very difficult for this teacher though. If it seems unlikely to improve dramatically you can request from the principal that your daughter be moved to another class.



Someone mentioned an SAT meeting.

(or EST - educational support team in VT) This is a great idea - you may need to get one set up first - but finding out what your school uses for this process and asking to get in the loop is a good way to approach this issue. There are plenty of things that any good teacher should be doing to help your daughter with her ADD issues from organizational support, to minimizing distractions during independent work time to seating choices to fidgets to use during circle time... etc. It is the teacher's job to help the child learn effectively and help her to love learning!

User - posted on 10/03/2009

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How horrible it must be for you to send your child to school everyday, knowing what she has to go through everyday with that, so called teacher! I would talk to some of the other children's parents and then talk to the school administrator. I don't know if it will help, but it can't hurt. My childrens school never took the parents side, so I never had much luck with that, but not all school disrticts are the same. My heart goes out to you! I ended up taking my daughter out of public school and enrolled her in a wonderful private school. But she suffered emotionally from what she had to endure in school everyday for many years from many bad teachers! She has since graduated and is doing much better. And I know those bad school memories will slowly disappear. I hope this matter gets resolved for you. No child or parent should have to endure that situation!

Kathy - posted on 10/03/2009

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I'm a teacher and I will let you in on a little secret. YOU are a customer and that teacher is the customer service at your child's school. She's like the clerk at the grocery. She is there to serve you and your child. Keep records of every assignments and every conversation and approach her next-in-line supervisor who is the principal of the school. You have more power than you think. Having a frank and professional discussion with the principal with documentation will have the principal's ear. I will be willing to bet that other parents are having the same problem. I would talk to some of them also and tell them that you will conference with the principal in hopes that they will do likewise. When more than one parent speaks principals will not only listen but take action. They want satisfied customers and nothing negative concerning their schools getting to the school board office.

Diana - posted on 10/03/2009

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I'm a Teacher's Aide. And I was wondering if you have asked some of the other parents about the behavior of this teacher??? Check to see if some of the other parents have this kind of problem as well with their kids. If so then get together with some other parents and go to the principal. I would also recommend you paying a surprise visit to the class. Some children seem to exaggerate. I'm not saying your child is doing this. But it does happen.

Tina - posted on 10/03/2009

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I am speechless over the way your child and others have been treated by this teacher. I have 4 children...3 of which are in school, kindergarten, 4th grade and 6th grade and I have never encountered this with any of them. I don't even know what to tell you to do other than have you spoke with some of the other moms? If they are having the same issues maybe you could all speak with the principal or superintendent. There has to be something that can be done. Good luck.

Lisa - posted on 10/03/2009

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As a teacher myself, I'm shocked at this woman's behavior. As you may or may not have read in other posts, it is really important as teachers to make children feel that they can learn in a safe and loving environment. First of all, your child has special needs. The teacher obviously doesn't understand that. She needs to be able to adjust her teaching and lessons to suit the needs of all of her children, and especially those who have learning disabilities or behavior issues. I have had ADHD and ODD children in my class, and although it can be difficult at times, not for a second did I forget that it is NOT THEIR FAULT when things occasionally go a wry. I would suggest that you and other parents (as I am sure there are others that feel this way, too) meet with the school principle and share your feelings with her. Do not go alone, as you may be more likely to be dismissed. If you go as a group, the supervisor will be more likely to listen, as she will see that it is more serious than previously thought. If this doesn't work, go to your school council meeting or district meeting and bring the issue up there. Usually this isn't necessary, as these problems are usually solved within school gates. Be aware however, that your daughter's teacher most likely will not get fired...she will probably have to attend some classroom management seminars or something like that. But most likely your daughter is stuck with her the remainder of the year. Still....you need to stand up for her and the other kids. They are incapable of doing anything about it on their own. You and the other parents have to be their voices. Good Luck!

[deleted account]

If it helps we had a teacher like that at our school with 1st graders. It took only ONE PARENT to request that their child be removed from that teacher's classroom and place in one of the other 1st grade classes for the principal to take full notice of what was happening in that classroom. Two weeks after the child was moved, and this was in the middle of the school year, that teacher was put on probation for her behavoir towards the students. That teacher was visited every day from then on by either the AP or the Principal herself for the rest of the school year. Needless to say that teacher did not return the next year.

Sandee - posted on 10/03/2009

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Wow. You know what you should ask for appointments if can observe the classroom for one day. just make a note while you there the whole time. write it down what do they do first thing in the morning, recess start to finish., lunch time etc. But you have to set aside your feelings towards the teacher so can observe the whole classroom and not focus on her wrong doing. Co'z my son is ADHD that's what I did. I dedicated one whole day to see what's going on at school. I asked my husband to take a day off to look after my two young ones. During circle time I notice my son was sitting backward and came up to him and asked him to joined the circle and no excuses he must participate. Then he joined them. at recess time I asked the teacher if my son was doing that all the time and she said yes. I let him co'z he don't like to participate. He wants to be alone. (I told myself well, you are the teacher make him listen to u for goodness sake.) I told her bluntly, I said, "I give permission to just make him participate co'z if u just let him he knows that u don't care and he will just do what he wants." You know what you should ask for appointments with her together with the principal and talk about this problem. In this way the principal knows that this is going on. Don't meet up with her alone and then talk to principal about this co'z she might say different things. This way if you meet them both you are all in the same page. Good luck! let me know if this help.:)

Sandee - posted on 10/03/2009

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Wow. You know what you should ask for appointments if can observe the classroom for one day. just make a note while you there the whole time. write it down what do they do first thing in the morning, recess start to finish., lunch time etc. But you have to set aside your feelings towards the teacher so can observe the whole classroom and not focus on her wrong doing. Co'z my son is ADHD that's what I did. I dedicated one whole day to see what's going on at school. I asked my husband to take a day off to look after my two young ones. During circle time I notice my son was sitting backward and came up to him and asked him to joined the circle and no excuses he must participate. Then he joined them. at recess time I asked the teacher if my son was doing that all the time and she said yes. I let him co'z he don't like to participate. He wants to be alone. (I told myself well, you are the teacher make him listen to u for goodness sake.) I told her bluntly, I said, "I give permission to just make him participate co'z if u just let him he knows that u don't care and he will just do what he wants." You know what you should ask for appointments with her together with the principal and talk about this problem. In this way the principal knows that this is going on. Don't meet up with her alone and then talk to principal about this co'z she might say different things. This way if you meet them both you are all in the same page. Good luck! let me know if this help.:)

Roxie - posted on 10/03/2009

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One other thing, I don't know if y'all know this but if your child is put in the corner for any reason it is child abuse and you can file charges against the teacher.

Roxie - posted on 10/03/2009

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You need to ask for a conference and make sure your daughter is there to tell her side.The principal should be there also. Do not let anyone make her leave. You are discussing her and she has a right to be there. I is not right for a teacher to yell at the kids and if she is she needs to be put on leave, until she get her act together. I have had this problem in the past with my kids and I always raised a stink. You did not say weather your daughter is on meds for her ADD. Some teachers just do not know how to handle a ADD student and she needs to learn about how to work with them. It is not right for her to be putting down the students in front of the class, it kills the childs confidence. Don't let them get away with this. If the principal does not do anything then go over his head and go to the school board. Something has to be done or your daughter will get so she hates school. I would also recommend that if your daughter is not on meds you should put her on them. I have a 3 children with ADD, a grandaughter with ADD, and 2 grandsons with ADHD. The meds does not make them sit and act like vombies. They are all happy to be on the meds as they say they can be normal now. All of them were getting bad grades before and after the meds started they all went to all A's and B's and was on honor roll. It is the best thing you can do to help your daughter, along with a conference to straighten out the teacher. Good luck and my prayers are with you. Roxie Spencer, mother and grandmother of ADD and ADHD students.

Sarah - posted on 10/03/2009

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i would be asking for my child to be put into another class and would complain about the teacher she doesnt sound very nice!!! my brother has adhd and he got lots support at school.

Jessica - posted on 10/03/2009

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Quoting Candi:

definitely not over-reacting! Start a log noting the date and exactly what the teacher did. Do you know any of the other parents? If so, get together with them on this and go to the principal. They can try to dismiss the complaints of one parent but not multiple parents!


Do exactly that, I was going to say it, but Candi already did. Make sure to have more than just you, when it's more parents complaining, the principal will know it's not an overreaction but a problem. Make sure to mention telling grades out loud to the whole class. That is NOT ok to do, it singles kids out and is wrong to publically degrade them....what a horrible teacher....reading this made me mad!! If it were my kid in that class, I'd be raising hell, that's ridiculous & shameful behavior for a teacher!!!

Brenda - posted on 10/02/2009

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Oh No! You definite NOT over-reacting. PLEASE, please, please go to the administration at your daughters school and report this. My son (15 now) had a bad teacher in 5th grade. Up until that point, he liked school, even with severe ADD & Dysgraphia. I tended to dismiss most of what he came and told me because he tended to complain about others when normally it was him not wanting to put forth the extra effort ADD requires from kids. That is, until the very last day of school. I was late getting to the party and walked outside to see this woman, hands on hips, bent at the waist and about 5 inches from my sons face screaming at him. Everyone (including other teachers and parents) had turned around and were staring. I went right up to her, pushed her away from my son and told her that NO child deserves to be treated that way no matter what! I also told her that if I ever heard about her treating MY child that way again, I would report her to the school district and have charges filed against her. I rabbed my son's hand and immediately went up front to check him out of school. I was so mad I was shaking. I asked for the secretary to please get the principal. While I was waiting, she came in and tried to tell them that I had taken Drew w/o checking him out (she didn't see me standing there). I spoke up that I had already checked him out. She made some comment about MY behavior outside. I replied that if I ever even heard of her treating a child the way she had just treated mine, I would do everything in my power to have her removed. Eventually I filed a formal complaint with the principal. I also apologized to my son for not believing him or checking further into the things he had been telling me.



The result of all is she was fired, but my son has HATED school ever since. It has taken until this year to get him to even give school a fair try again. Talk to the teacher, and then talk to the principal (no matter what may happen when you speak to the teacher). let the school know what is going on. It is difficult to have a child removed from a teacher's room. The fact that she is doing this with the entire class should make it easier to get other parent to back you up.



Please let us know how it goes!

Susan - posted on 10/02/2009

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Assuming what you say is true, you are dealing with a teacher suffering from burnout, menopause or both. Take this up with the principal first. Then possibly with the Board of Education or the District or school psychologist. Then you can ask to move your child to another third grade in the same school if they have one or to another school in the district. Not only should your child have a good experience at school, but the teacher may need some stress management help to return her to her best practices.

Imojean - posted on 10/02/2009

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Trust me when I say don't have a meeting with the teacher by yourself make sure you have another teacher or yet the principal. Although my child is older than yours the same principle applies cause the teacher could turn your words around. It doesn't matter how old the child is a teacher DOES NOT have the right to say things like that to your child. So my child is not perfect that doesn't give them the right to put them down... I had a meeting without another person around and trust me it was the biggest mistake I ever did and before I could talk to the principal the teacher sent my child to the office and had her placed in iss and he told the principal all kind of stories that where not true. But you know what the teacher was a coward cause he would not show up at my request when I was with the principal to prove my point to him. I was so glad when he retired he really need to years ago, I am so glad that my youngest doesn't have to deal with him cause I absolutely have her removed from his class.

Ruth - posted on 10/02/2009

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Have you tried approaching the principal? We had an issue with our son's teacher last year and we told him we would be willing to switch him to another class, but we wanted to get the teacher's side first. In his case, he also was a problem, so we told him we couldn't switch unless we saw improvement on his part. He did improve his behavior and his relationship with his teacher improved as well. It sounds like you've already worked with your daughter and the teacher is the problem, so it's time to get her out before her self esteem is completely destroyed. If you know other parents who will back you up, that would be even better. But definitely push to get her into another class. Good luck.

Christinia - posted on 10/02/2009

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Definitely a mean teacher, my daughter had that for her 5th grade teacher. Thankfully they divide the subjects between two teachers and the other teacher was understanding to Kayla's ADD and Anxiety Disorder. I would suggest taking it to the Principal. The anger displayed toward your child can have a negative effect on her education. School should be a positive growth experience... Demand to have her moved to a different teacher first, and then work together with other parents to petition to have her removed from her position. Best of Luck

Amna - posted on 10/02/2009

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You really need to talk( I mean talk tactfully, NEVER use the word YOU in the entire conversation) to the teacher again (be extremely nice) and tell her how u feel and ask her what you can do to help ur child and if u don't get the response ur looking for go to the principal.

Cheryl - posted on 10/02/2009

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NO, you are NOT overreacting. Don't wait, but call your school NOW and call a meeting to discuss these events that you are talking about. Involve the principal, school counselor and the person responsible for working with those kids that have issues such as ADD or ADHD. Put the teacher on the spot during the meeting and let them know that this is unacceptable behavior for a teacher. I also have a son in 3rd grade with ADHD, and I have never had him complain that a teacher has treated him in such a manner. If he did, I would be doing the same and then if it didn't improve, I would be requesting a move into another classroom. Is she your first child? If so, then mom, you are her only allie. Be there for her. Teachers are there to teach, NOT ABUSE! School is not a dictatorship for teachers. Good luck!

Cat - posted on 10/01/2009

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OH!!!! I could go on and on and on! I have 2 children and have been in the same situation with past teachers. This year I lucked out and got two AWESOME teachers. However, my first and only suggestion to you is to request a meeting with the principal, voice your concerns and no matter what his/her response is...DEMAND that your child be moved into another classroom! I did this and it helped immensly! You need to act quick though, some school districts have policies set in place that moving children from one classroom to another is not an option after a certain period in the year.



You are absolutely NOT over-reacting! You know your child better than any teacher and you need to do what is best for her! It will most likely affect her negatively if you don't!



And in addition to what someone said earlier...if you know any of the other parents I would speak with them and see how they feel. If enough parents complain the teacher will be reprimanded for her behavior and could possibly be put on a probation and evaluation schedule!



Good luck with this & keep us posted! :)

Catrina - posted on 10/01/2009

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My daughter as well has adhd and she has a hard time as well. same as yours, she stares off into space and refuses to do work when she gets stuck. I have only ever had one teacher that was just plain mean and I went to the Principle about it and set up a meeting with the teacher and the principle at the same time to discuss what I have witnessed and made them change classes. also an IEP would help but it is a long process and her teacher has to be involved in it as well. I would seriously consider putting a recorder in your daughters backpack and taping everything that goes on during the day. good luck and dont give up!

Dana - posted on 10/01/2009

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That teacher is not only cruel, she is verbally abusing the children in her class. Removing your daughter from her class is a given...but the issue is not done there...there are other children in that class as well. You should find out if other parents are having issues with her...if so, go as a group to the principal....Id go even higher if the principal didnt do anything! She is a tyrant of a teacher...it is going to be such a wasted year for those kids, not to mention their self esteem being totally crushed on top of that. I am employed in the education field and know that children need to feel safe and secure in order to thrive...that is not going to happen in that classroom as long as that teacher is there.

Nicole - posted on 10/01/2009

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Sounds like things are not going so well. As a social worker in an elementary school, I would start off by calling the teacher and seeing if you can have a meeting. Not to say your child is lying, but kids may come home and tell a parent that the teacher is yelling, but in reality he / she may be firm or more strict than the child is used to at home. I would also suggest asking that administrators be present. Especially since your conference night started off so bad. I would strongly encourage NOT to go to the school board yet. Honestly, they want you to work up the chain of command and not the other way around. Best of luck to you.

Lori - posted on 10/01/2009

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Quoting Brenna:

I have a daughter with ADD ,You need to sit in on class ,I know it sounds like it wouldn't be effective .



i didnt know you could do that....we are not even permitted in our childs class for parties and such...only designated "room mother"

Lori - posted on 10/01/2009

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i am glad you posted this question...i am having the same concerns with one of my childs teachers as well...i have found all the responses most helpful!! thank you

Kimberly - posted on 10/01/2009

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i would go to the school principal immeadiately!! that is no way to treat anyone esp children. if they are afraid or put off it could affect their attitude toward school for the rest of their school years. personally i would have given that teacher a thing or two to think about. i would also attend the next school board meeting and tell them exactly what you have wrote here and request that she adjust her attitude. some ppl are not cut out for teaching. i had a teacher in grade school(many many years ago) that pinched us and done mean things like that i was scared to death of her and hated school. i was so scared that i wouldn't tell my mom b/c i knew she would go to the school and i was afraid of what she would do to me afterwards. in case i didn't tell you,as a parent you have the right to request or even demand if necessary that the principal move your daughter to a different class with a different teacher.

Anna - posted on 10/01/2009

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The time has come for all the parents to go to the school board. These things should not happen to these children it makes then afraid and fell as though they are stubid I know because I went through that in the 4th gread Teacher telling me I was stubid. I found out later on after quiting school that I am dislectic not stubid.

[deleted account]

I work in public schools. It is hard enough for a child with ADD to get through a school day, they do not need a teacher belittling them. My first suggestion is to conference with the principal. If you do not get any satisfaction from her, the next step is the superintendant, then the school board. One thing I do know is that your child does not have to put up with this type of abuse. You can have her moved to another classroom if need be. You are the parent. You call the shots. Stand your ground and do what is right for your child.

Brenna - posted on 10/01/2009

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I have a daughter with ADD ,You need to sit in on class ,I know it sounds like it wouldn't be effective .

STEPHANIE - posted on 10/01/2009

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FIRST OF ALL, DONT EVER BACK DOWN FROM ANY TEACHER!!! I WOULD REPORT HER TO SCHOOL ADMINISTRATION, WRITE THE ORINCIPAL A NOTE KEEP A COPY FOR YOURSELF, I WENT THROUGH THIS WITH MY KIDS!!! TODAYS TEACHERS (RECENTLY NEW) MOST OF THEM ARE NOT OLD SCHOOL. GO AS FAR AS YOU CAN TO ANYONE THAT WILL LISTEN ANS STAY ON IT. I DID NOT EVEN FINISH READING YOUR POST BECAUSE I GOT MAD AT THE FACT THAT SHE SAID SHE WAS EMBARESS, SHE IS EMBARASS BECAUSE SHE DID NOT DO HER JOB SO SHE IS EMBARASS AT HERSELF. USE ALOT OF TATIC BE A WITCH WITHOUT HER KNOWING YOUR BEING A WITCH IF YOU GET MY DRIFT. I AM VERY SORRY THAT HAPPEN TO YOUR DAUGHTER I HAVE 2 DAUGHTERS. I GO ALL THE WAY AND GET IN TEACHERS FACES I DONT BACK DOWN TIL I HEAR WHAT I WANT AND GET MY WAY!!!

STEPHANIE - posted on 10/01/2009

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Quoting Wendi:

Mean Teacher or am I overreacting?

My daughter is in third grade and I have been having a problem with a lot of the things her teacher is doing. For starters, she yells at the class all the time. She yelled at them because not enough parents brought in tissues (part of the school supplies), My daughter brought hers in (not that it really matters), but still got screamed at with the rest of the class. She has kept the whole class in from recess because a couple of kids didn't score well on test, she reads their test score out loud and makes comments on them (Valerie got a 50 on her test, she must not have been trying). She doesn't give clear directions for homework, then yells if they do it wrong. One night we were unclear, so I had her do more that I thought she was supposed to because we had missed stuff in the past. Savannah got yelled at and told "I might want to assign that another night and you've already done it! I have never heard of someone yelling because they did too much work! She told them on conference day that she was not going to put any of their work up because she was not going to embarass them and their parents by showing their work (how dare she tell my child I'm embarassed of her!).
When I went in for the conference (There was no work displayed for any of the kids) she was almost hateful when she talked about my child. She started the conversation with "She's not even trying!" and it went downhill from there. My daughter has ADD and the things she was discribing are very typical behavior for that (starring off into space, disorganization, not finishing things). I know it's frustrating, but my daughter is also one of the sweetest, most polite, most loving children (this is not just a mother talking, I'm getting this from every other teacher she has ever had). She seems to have a lot of anger towards Savannah.
Savannah loves her classmates, but she's afraid of her teacher. She is very sensitive and is very much a people-pleaser. I'm not real sure what, if anything, I should do. What do you think?


 

Lisa - posted on 10/01/2009

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HI Wendi, I have a 12 year old boy, who has PDD and other learning disabilities, We have been thru this kind of thing twice now. The 1st time that we intially had problems was when he was in 2nd grade, the teacher was really mean. I noted everything down, and got an advocate to help me thru everything, and also when his IEP was up, we made sure that he was to get the best care. This started when we went to a dentist appt, and came back to school, and he refused to go into the school, he dropped, crying and screaming "NO, NO" Anyhow, I took him home, called the school psychologist, and decided that to meet with the teacher, principal, and school psycholigist. My son like your daughter is a very sweet child. I also volunteered for class helper, even though, I was only there a couple times a week, the teacher and principal new that I wasn't messing around. I also called the superintendent, and she reassured me that my son would get the best care. Well, it turned out that we rearanged his schedule to be with his special ed teacher more, that seemed to help. This past year in May, Matthew was in 6th grade, we had another teacher who made his days terrible, it made him so physically sick, that the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong, turned out that he had come down with refux disease, this teacher made him so worked up it was making his stomach, turn, and he would cough for 5-6 hours straight. Then he would stop, he missed 1 month of school, well he started to get better, but then was really withdrawn. Then, his doctor put him on prozac to help him with coping. That still wasn't helping, I remember this teacher say to me at conferences

"I have high expectations of my students" that made me very frustrated, because all of his regular teachers said that he was a quiet, and very pleasant, and listens in class.

This special ed teacher always had something to say, she would email me daily, or call me. About my son's issues, my son is a people pleaser also, it makes them feel good, but this teacher ruined his self esteem, and made him feel like crap. When he came into the van one day crying, I had to go to the princeples office and find out what is going to be done, we had a homework issue, she pulled him into the hallway, and called him a liar, and just badgering him. The principle didn't give a flying fart. shortly after that incident, I received a phone call from the teacher, and they put Matthew into a seclusion room, locked him into a 5x8 room for 20 minutes. Only b/c he wouldn't take one sentance of notes in science class. The school regulations of the seclusion room are for kids who are a threat, to others, or themselves, and when the police are involved.

That was the last straw, I pulled him out of school, and was just going to try to homeschool him the rest of the school year, but called the other middle school that he was going to this year, and the school counselor said we can get him in here tommorrow. So we did! Happy clam with the school situation, but he has alot of anger issues with school teachers, and even here at home. Well, enough about my story,

my suggestions would be to see if there are other parents that have the same feelings.

Keep notes, and get email addresses, email the teacher if you need to clarify the homework, I also would sit down with the principl and the school psychologist, also call the school superinrendent. Don't be afraid to speak up, you are your daughters advocate , us as parents have to speak up when things are wrong. I actually am pursuing a lawsuit against matthew's old teacher from last year. What is a child learning in a clasroom if he/she is afraid of there teacher? They feel like there walking on eggshells. i am not sure where you are from, but call the Department of education, they will also direct you how to handle things.

For my son, we have a communication log that goes beteen me and the teacher, in case something happens, with h/w etc. Be as involved in the class as possible if you can. I am not sure if your daughter has a IEP or not, but if she does she may be intitled to services. This teacher obviosly has some issues, and she needs to be reprimanded, our kids are in school to learn, not to be afarid. Don't be afraid to speak your mind.

I hope this helps! I would see if you can change teachers too.Try have a good month of OCTober!

Lisa Stock

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