Lorrom - posted on 06/10/2010 ( 199 moms have responded )
Hi, newbie here and desperate. My 3-yr-old beautiful girl is getting mixed signals from a very loving but a bit meddling grandma. Long story short: We adopted her at 6 months old, grandma moved next door (I know! what was I thinking), retired, and she is fighting cancer. Now I don't want to sound like the bad guy here, because we don't know how long we are going to have her with us...but I feel this shouldn't give her the right to disregard our rules and decide that my child's love should be bought with candy and junk food and some rules applied when we are around. I have no clue what happens when I'm not around. My girl is very good at home and at daycare, because we have same rules and she knows that. But the second she goes next door, I cannot reason with her anymore. She transforms into a complete brat, and only when she is there. Grandma lets her open kitchen cabinets, closets, taking out whatever she finds there (safety issue, hello!) - and she is not allowed to do that at home or school. I told her "tell ner NO". She even hit her in the face on purpose and she did nto say anything! And last weekend, we had lunch at grandma 's and at some point I found my girl with a water bottle in her hands with the cap in her mouth! (just had on the news a year ago a child that died because of that!). Of course, grandma admitted that she gave her the bottle. Arrgghh...My child is so agitated each time we are with grandma, and I hate this. I feel that sometimes she thinks she knows it all and because I am an adoptive mom, I know nothing. The other issue is hubby. He is on his mom's side, of course, even if we talked before grandma moved next door and he was decided to always remind her that she needs not to meddle and respect our rules. I feel very unsafe now every time my child is visiting her. I don't know how to approach this without offending hubby or grandma. My child's health and safety is number one before anything else. How to start the talk with hubby and her? I feel none of them is caring about my feelings and they think I am a control freak (which I am not). Please help...Thank you.