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Middle Child Madness!!

Melissa - posted on 09/06/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

2

12

I have 3 girls, 9, 5 and 19 months, and I am having behavior problems with child number 2.

In the last few weeks it has escalated and I can not seem to stop her from being naughty. If there is something she know is wrong, she will do it. Last week she peed on our trampoline (pulling her pants down frist) and yesterday she did her dirty business behind the shed. Today I caught her pouring the nit shampoo down the toilet (with 19mth old looking on).

I have tried talking to her to find out what she is feeling, and why she keeps being naughty , and all I seem to get is "Because I want to". I have tried time outs, Yesterday (after the shed incedent) I even put a cloth nappy on her. I have tried yelling and yes the worst of all I've tried smacking. Nothing stops her. I'm totally out of ideas and patience. Is there any ideas out there to save my sanity and get a well behaved little girl to appear?

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Toni - posted on 09/07/2009

259

16

I know it's hard but I would try and make some time to be with your children individually. Each child deserves to have some one on one time with you, as once a new child comes a long it's very easy to push others to one side. I bet your eldest would love some time alone with you too.
It sounds like classic attention grabbing behaviour. She doesn't care what kind of attention she gets from you so long as she's getting you all to herself. Try giving her some quality time just the 2 of you every day. It doesn't have to be for very long. 30 mins should do it. Ask your eldest to look after the baby for just those 30 mins whilst you read, cuddle, draw etc with the 5 year old in pece and quiet, alone. Then once the 2 youngest are in bed have some big girl time with your eldest. Let her 'do' your hair, paint each others nails or maybe just read and cuddle her...ask her what she'd like to do.
I would also take time out each month to do something special with your girls by spending an afternoon doing something they would like with you. You could alternate with the 2 oldest. One month go shopping, skating, the cinema with the eldest and the next month take the 5yr old to the park, swimming, the cinema etc. Ask the grandparents, dad, an aunt to look after the other kids so that you can devote yourself totally to the child for that day.

Traci - posted on 09/06/2009

2,158

2

The best thing to do with kids is to be sure to pay attention to them when they're being good, rather than when they are bad. I know it's hard to do sometimes(when they're being good, that's when you get stuff done! lol), but it's important. Be sure to just take a few minutes here and there throughout the day and read a book together, cuddle, or just talk--one on one time. Five years old is way too old to behaving in such a way, she's looking for attention. Give her that attention she is craving, but ONLY when she's being good. May take some time, but it'll work. :)

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