MIL talking Sh*t about me,what would you do?

Marcy - posted on 06/16/2010

Yeah but its still eating at you. If she apologizes to you are you willing to forgive her? Its so passive aggressive on her part.....your hubby probably told her to let it go in hopes that it would blowq over...which is has not. I guess what it boils down to is if you are willing to talk to her, tell her how she hurt.offended you then move forward if she apologizes. If not, I think I would still tell her that you are "pissed off" and that honestly, it wouldn't matter if she said sorry or not. Basically, you need to let her know where she stands in your eyes.....it will make you feel better.

Becky - posted on 06/16/2010

My husband asked her about it,and she asked if she should apologize to me,and for some reason,my husband told her to let it go. SO,she has already admitted to it I guess.

Marcy - posted on 06/16/2010

I would confront her about it in a very polite and direct manner. Since you are obviously mad/upset doing this is either going to open up a conversation with her so that you can clear the air or she will clam up and just deny it. Either way its honestly not going to make things any worse than they are. You could approach it from the point of view something like this "MIL (obviously use her name) I have been upset about something and I want to discuss it with you. Is now a good time? I heard the following from someone (don't give names) and I wanted to give you an opportunity to tell me if this is accurate or not."

I am a firm believer in giving people an opportunity to tell "their side" of the story. it doesn't sound to me like she has been able to do that yet. If you find out indeed that this is accurate I would in a very calm manner tell her how you feel and then move forward. I think there are some people in this world that thrive on conflict and create situations like this expecting that you will push back. Its in their nature. My MIL thinks her 4 sons walk on water (she isn't even religious HAHA) and she has pretty much written off her 3 DILS. We got in a blow out arguement Thanksgiving 2 years ago. She moved back to the East Coast and things have been better but we did talk about our feelings etc after we were done yelling. At least I feel like she knows how I feel and vice versa.

Take the high road...its worth it.

Becky - posted on 06/16/2010

Yes, my parents see our children more than my husband's parents do-my FIL is a selfish putz and my MIL is just plain crazy. I don't trust her to watch my kids-the 1 time I did leave my daughter alone she had a comforter over her head. As a mom I'm sure you can understand that visual never leaves your head. My MIL actually got a job 5 min from our house(she lives 1/2 hr away) I believe to stop over more often. My husband has already had to get on her ass because she stopped by either without calling,or calling and still stopping by even my husband didn't answer the phone. She told me that if I ever needed a nursing job I could work where she does! She's beyond dense-I'd rather give birth sans drugs then look at her fake face. Last time I saw she she even said she loved me1 I didn't say it back because I don't love her,and she doesn't love me,otherwise she wouldn't have talked shit about me to a stranger in my house.

Brean - posted on 06/16/2010

NO!! i have the exact same problem and MIL knows that she is not allowed over unless my husband is home. she doesn't call my phone unless absolutely necessary. she knows i won't go over to her house without my husband. mine complained and bitched that i would let my family see our daughter more, (she lives 30 min away and my family lives 1 1/2 hrs away) and that i always pick my family. first of all, we made everything completely fair, if my dad hasnt seen danielle, she isn't allowed to. we gave her exactly what she wanted. she didnt get a card for mothers day because my mom didnt. (we dont get along either, since before i was even preg) and we just pretty much fed her a dose of her own medicine. and second of all, of course i would choose MY family, they raised me, cared for me, and loved me unconditionally. i love my husband unconditionally and he is my family, but she just isnt friendly, she says inappropriate things all the time, she criticizes my parenting style (when her two younger kids are both failing all their classes, including art and pe) and she isnt allowed to be around her own stepdaughter. really? lol. whenever anyone tries to give me or my husband parenting advice, including my dad, we just say, "thanks, but danielle is our daughter and if we make a mistake, we have to live with it, just like you did with us." and thats it. i usually just give my dad, "the look" and he realizes he overstepped a boundary or my stepmom will catch him first and nudge him. :D just stand your ground, dont feel bad for getting annoyed with her and know that you are NOT alone.