Nancy - posted on 11/30/2012 ( 38 moms have responded )
I am about to give birth to our second child in a couple of weeks and my MIL is coming to stay with us for a month to help out. She has a lot of issues and is very high maintenance, and I'm not actually sure how much help she will be which is already putting me on edge. One of the things she has insisted on is having our toddler sleep in bed with her in the baby's room, despite the fact that there is also a crib in the room. We recently moved and our 18 month old has been screaming bloody murder when we try to get her to sleep in her crib these days and so we have been letting her sleep in our bed, which is on the floor so there is no risk of her falling in the middle of the night.
I said I didn't think it was a good idea because the bed in the baby's room is raised and our toddler rolls around a lot and I didn't want her falling. MIL has fallen asleep in the past while watching our daughter during the day (she was smaller and not as mobile so thankfully nothing happened) but I certainly dont trust her to keep an eye on her in this way in the middle of the night. She kept insisting, suggesting we take the bed apart and put the mattress on the floor. My husband, who does not want to make waves, told her it was a possibility in order to pacify her and further delay a conversation about it.
I've read in other forums that many people think this is a reasonable request, but it makes me uncomfortable for a number of reasons. There is the potential for falling, the pushiness about the whole thing after I initially said no and the fact that she'd rather we take our toddler's room apart to facilitate this request rather than help us to re-transition her to her crib which will be much more helpful with a new baby in the house after MIL is gone. Also, it just seems like there are other ways to bond with our toddler rather than force a new sleep situation on our child. Am I overreacting and does this seem like a normal request to others? I don't want her to have an unpleasant visit and it's a small space we'll all be living in for the next month so I want to keep the peace, but I also think this is all somewhat inappropriate for reasons stated above.