Molested situation

Levornia - posted on 04/25/2012 ( 240 moms have responded )

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Someone please help me my mind is going crazy. My neice is getting in trouble in school and contiunes to act out that had me puzzled so my sister sent her to me bc she was kicked out of school. Well I had her help my friend with her daycare along with a middle schooler who works at the daycare too. Then my phone is blowing up and my friend tells me that my niece has confided in the middle schooler and told her that she is being molested by her mother's boyfriend's brother and a girl at her school. I finally got her to open and talk to me. The things she told me was so disturbing and I asked her if she told her mom and she said she did but my sister did nothing. I have called around to my parents and to her mom, all I got to say this situation is a mess. I told my Dad and he talked to my sister he got no response like she didn't even care and my sister called me w/o any emotions like she didn't care. My neice wasn't supose to go bck home until Sat but now her mother wants her bck now. Me and Sister are at outs on this situation and I am scared to send her home bc I know my sister never believes anything. I told my niece what her mom said which was she my niece never told her anything...as soon I as I told my neice that my niece FLIPPED OUT and started crying so hard and told me she's been telling her....U guys I haven't slept and I am nervous...my dad called and everyone is saying my niece is a liar and she fakes and why shouldnt tell...WHT PLANET DOES my family live in...gosh Ive been praying bc if she is being touched as long as no one believes these nasty people will just cont to do it...HELP ME PLZ PRAY !!

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Louise - posted on 04/25/2012

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You need to sit with your neice and tell her that you are going to involve the authorities to protect her as that is the only way to make sure she is completely safe. Tell her is she has made any thing up now is the time to say before it goes to far. Tell her you will stand by her side whatever she tells you. Give her a few minutes to think it over and then ask her again. Are you sure this is going on. If the answer is still yes then (if it were me) I would call the authorities, If the mother will not accept it then this kid needs help. Ring them and let them sort it out.

Tina - posted on 04/25/2012

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I'm sorry but I've seen similar situations in my family. This little girl needs someone she can trust clearly you're the only one that is listening and taking it seriously if the mother refuses to even aknowledge that something may have happened then authorities need to step in. Talk to the police and the welfare and see where you stand. It might put strain on your relationship with your sister but you can't help that. Whether or not this girl is telling the truth she needs to be listened to and taken seriously. I wouldn't be sending her back until it's been sorted.

Medic - posted on 04/25/2012

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Do not send her home!!!! Call the authorities, call CPS and get temp custody.

Tiffany - posted on 04/25/2012

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I would call the police asap! and CPS! Then before they show up or want to interview her tell her that you believe her and want to help her and keep her safe! Obviously she is a trouble child being kicked out of school, someone needs to be on her side to build up her confidence and trust in someone! If she is lying then hopefully it will be obvious to her that this situation is serious and when these accusations are made people DO help and LISTEN. I would go to court and get temporary custody of her so u can be sure that this is resolved and noone continues to hurt her! In the long run hopefully your sister and father realize that you did it to protect her!

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Melissa - posted on 09/21/2012

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I am studying Law in school so I will give you input of what I have learned so far.

You can file for Emergency temporary custody - I am unsure of your neices age but she sounds old enough to say what she wants, and if she wants to be in your care - that will be a huge factor.

There is no factor bigger than another - for example, just because your sister is her biological mother, does not mean she gets rights over her because there are just as important factors in the Family reform act that are taken into consideration.

For example:

The person who can provide the best emotional and physical needs for a child

The capacity to be a healthy parent to that child

The childs wishes

Plan of care - which one is going to put the childs best interest first.............etc



This might be an old post you put up and am unsure what has taken place since than.



can you let us know?

Amanda - posted on 09/19/2012

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I would most definitely take her to the Dr n make a report informing the police.. I would also inform dhr bc she had no reason to have to go back there....SHE IS A CHILD!!! What mom doesn't length to their kids cry...well it us plenty of them out there that won't listen to their child in order to keep that man

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/01/2012

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Interesting advice Kayla, since on your post about a questionable situation, you will not take your own advice :-/

Penny - posted on 08/01/2012

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Take her to her (or ER) doctor immediately and they can check her as further evidence. Don't give up on getting her help and away from this situation.

Tessy - posted on 07/31/2012

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My suggestion is go call the police or social services they can have a full investigation and see if she is telling the truth that my advice as a friend, us as moms we need to believe in our daughters my daughter was molested by her real blood father and I did believe her , and her father got very upset with me because of that well the social services and police got involve and guess what she was telling the truth . So please don't let her go back it might get things worst for her

Holly - posted on 07/31/2012

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Levornia, I saw where you posted your update. I dont mean to sound negative, I mean this with all my love. That baby is going to need counseling. You cant take the moms word for it. Im sorry, but you cant. My mom left my stepdad immediately, but later went back with him and then left me homeless, at 15 and remarried him. I dont know why women do these things, Ill never understand but they do. My heart is breaking for her right now. If the mom didnt believe her and take action in the first place...she is not a healthy woman. You cant even trust that the child is telling you the truth that she is happy. She loves her mom and the thought of being taken away is scary EVEN if theres abuse. She is still a child that loves her mommy... but one day she will grow up and have to face the feelings of what her mother did. Breaks my heart, and I just have a sick feeling that there shouldnt be any celebration. You cant put a bandaid on someone who needs surgery. Sexual abuse is a life changing experience, without proper treatment, there WILL life long affects.
- I also need to say, that taking her to get "checked out" to see if shes telling the truth is not always true. Sometimes, theres not rape for awile and sometimes never. That doesnt take away the trauma. Also,******* the most trauma comes from no one helping you as a child.******
I Pray that you still call child protective services,so, she can get *proper treatment. With love from a survivor.

Holly - posted on 07/31/2012

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DO NOT DOUBT HER. Do not say things like "are you sure?" I was that child, trust me. Its not uncommon for families to not believe the child. My mom is still married to my molester to this day. Dont let her go back. Do everything in your power to help her. She made the first step by speaking out. Now its up to an adult to protect her. Definitely call the authorities but dont assume that it will be taken care of. If she is not taken care of properly, she will have effects that last the rest of her life. Its already starting with her behavior. Love her and believe her and make sure she gets proper treatment. Please.

Chaya - posted on 07/26/2012

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Do not let the mother have the child again, quite possibly ever. Go directlyto the police, then get the child into treatment. Move andleave no forewarding address if that's what it takes to protect her. Keep her away from anyone who is even remotely posibly hurting her.

Chaya - posted on 07/26/2012

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Do not let the mother have the child again, quite possibly ever. Go directlyto the police, then get the child into treatment. Move andleave no forewarding address if that's what it takes to protect her. Keep her away from anyone who is even remotely posibly hurting her.

Leanne - posted on 05/27/2012

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As an adult, it is your duty to protect this child if you have become aware of this situation, and report the details immediately to Child protection services. Keeping this to yourself may allow for this to continue and put this child in continued danger. If she is being abused and no one takes her seriously this will only deepen her trauma and affects of what has/is happening. Better to air on the said of caution, and assume she is telling the truth- kids don't just make up these kinds of stories, in my opinion.

Pat - posted on 05/19/2012

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without reading the responses, yet. i will say, it is very common for women to not respond to such news. various reasons.. either disbelief, fear of being alone, or losing their so called family, money, whatever. when i reported my husband, i actually got a couple thank yous for reporting him.. a couple therapists said it happens all the time, people sometimes know, or see, and walk back out of the room... and let it continue. i wish there was an explanation, but there isnt. i will be praying for you, you arent alone. keep close to God.

ZELDA - posted on 05/17/2012

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Take her to the doctor and get her examined. That will say more than anything. I was in her shoes comming up and no one belived me either. I struggled with it a long time, People don't want to face what they are afraid of. People know when their children are in trouble they somtimes just choose to look th other way. Im a victim.

Judi - posted on 05/16/2012

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The fact that you believe her is key, number 1.
Two: if your sister is behaving that badly, let your niece live with you.
Three: the perp should be arrested. period.

I have been in this situation, and my own female family member no longer has contact with the parents because ... IF YOU ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN TO YOUR DAUGHTER YOU ARE A LOUSY PARENT. No one is going to change until they are so uncomfortable that there is no choice. In the meantime, there is a child WHO NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED. That is the principle responsibility here, and as long as that is paramount in your mind, the anger and the rage of others can be handled. Remember, they are angry either because they let it happen or they got caught. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT EITHER, BUT IT WILL BE IF YOU DON'T STOP IT

Michelle - posted on 05/05/2012

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Thanks for the update Levornia. Since you have started another thread with the update I'll lock this one up.

Michelle,
WtCoM Mod.

Donna - posted on 05/05/2012

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CALL THE POLICE. She should never have to deal with that kind of situation; amd once chld mollesters start - alot of times they won't stop - so many of them go back to molesting other children.

Levornia - posted on 05/05/2012

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UPDATE CIRCLE OF FRIENDS!!!! MY NEICE IS DOING MARVELLOUS!!!! Her mom and I of course almost through blows and I didn't care because that is my neice however my parents stepped up and got involved. My neice did stay with me a little longer than she was supose to which was fine. During that time my sister got rid of her baby daddy for GOOD and while my neice was here my sister was calling her more and began to work on their relationship. She promised to start spending weekend time with my niece as a girls day/night out. I asked my neice if she felt safe enough to go back and she said yes. I told her if not I don't care she will stay but she did go back home. She called me yesterday and told me her and her mom are getting along so great. Her mom apologized for not listening and believing her. She also told me that by the grace of God she is passing the 3rd grade with 2-A's 3-B's 2-C's considering all she has been through. Her mom is also staying up with her with her homework and now monitoring what they watch on tv. My neice told me that she will conti to call to update me which is awesome and my sister knows it AND SHE KNOW SHE BETTER NOT STOP HER EITHER or I'll flip out again. Because they all know I would reck my family for the sack of my neices and nephews and my son. I am a mom that believe in the safety of my children and they are our beautiful future leaders NO MATTER WHAT COLOR THEY ARE... I teach my son and now teaching my neices and nephews to be proud of who they are and where they come from. Thank you all for your prayers.

Sarah - posted on 05/04/2012

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If it is true your niece absolutely needs your help. I would contact the police and medical personal. They can do tests to see if something happened. You can also apply for immediate custody until the situation is resolved. Be prepared depending on the length of time it has been there may be no evidence. There are counselors specifically designed to talk to children that have been abused and can tell if a child is honest. You should be concerned because their has to be a reason the child said that. Good luck and we will pray for you and for your nieces safety.

FLORENCE - posted on 05/04/2012

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You need to protect your niece at all cost.Call the police & Childrens Service,now! Do not send her back at any cost.If your sister really cared it would have been done already! Be the adult where they arent!

Happily - posted on 05/03/2012

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first of all you should take your niece to an ob/gyn and have her checked if there is proof go directly to the police and child welfare do not let her go back until steps have been taken to prove what has been said because if she is telling the truth and as a molestation victim myself and you send her back things are going to get out. of control. Please please please take steps to protect her

CHERYL - posted on 05/02/2012

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You need to sit with your niece and tell her that you are going to involve the authorities to protect her as that is the only way to make sure she is completely safe. Also see what local Child Protective service can do. Let them know her mom wants her back but she and you are both afraid for her to go back into the home, and you want custody of her.
I would also record what your niece said . just have her retell you. Keep her with you.
Tell her you will stand by her side whatever she tells you. That she must tell others what has happen so the sick guy can get locked up.
also have the other girl tell on the guy also.

Susan - posted on 05/02/2012

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DO EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER TO PROTECT THIS CHILD!! Do not worry about your sister's feelings, your parents' feelings... all that matters is that this abuse is stopped immediately! Not only does this type of abuse DAMAGE a person, but how DEVASTATING it must be to her when others KNOW of the abuse and it is allowed to continue! Help her, PLEASE!!!

Anna - posted on 05/02/2012

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Call CPS Now!!! I am a school teacher and this isn't the first I have heard of this nor will it be the last. Your sister is indenial, or cannot emotionally, physically, socially or mentally ready to hear this. Here is CPS number 1-800-252-5400

Melissa - posted on 05/02/2012

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Thank God for wonderful Aunts. Forget everybody else who is dissapointing your niece and making it harder for her to recover and have a good life. Stand up for her. Be her advocate if her stupid mom wont. Maybe your Dad could talk to your sister and have her agree to leave the Niece with you.

I think you need to contact the authorities. By not doing anything you become a part of it. Not acting says it's ok.

Lora - posted on 05/02/2012

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Most definitely call the police! Whether this young lady is telling the truth or not is up to them to determine. The police will explain the seriousness of what she is claiming and IF she isn't being honest it may make her change her story. As a survivor of being molested I can assure you that acting out is her way of trying to get control over something in her life. I wouldn't go to CPS first because the police will get them involved and they can be a difficult organization to deal with. She needs to get into counseling regardless. She will have to be willing to tell the authorities all of the details no matter how uncomfortable they are for her to relive. Keep your chin up and know that you are making a difference in her life. You are the adult that she can trust but be prepared for her to be placed in foster care during the investigation. You will also be asked some tough questions, so be ready. You have lots of support here!

Patricia - posted on 05/02/2012

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don't let her go back protect her at all cost the poor little thing police and any one else medical people who coukd examine and prove it

Amanda - posted on 05/01/2012

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I am very sorry to hear what you and especially your niece are going through. I have been in your nieces shoes and the same thing happened to me as well with the same reaction/response. I agree with everyone, you need to notify the police and CPS. Your the only person in the family she has, I am so sorry that you have to go through this.

Amie - posted on 05/01/2012

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Unfortunately they won't do it on a minor without legal documentation as it is too traumatic for the child. Been there, tried it with my niece. Plus the mother hasn't lost any rights so she is the only one who can authorize that. It's a tough situation but trust me the police is the way to go and you don't want her to feel like she is being questioned and the doctors have to check if she is lying or not. .

Darla - posted on 05/01/2012

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I understand why everyone is saying call the police, but what I would do is take her into the emergency room and have her check out by doctor. Then they will have to involve the authorities. Plus you will have the medical backup to prove it. If your family can't accept it then, you will need to continue to be by your niece's side and allow your family to go their way. This may mean that you are by yourself against your family, but your niece needs you more. She will need support from everyone...you may be able to get custody of her then too...I will add you and your niece to my prayers. With love...Darla

Amie - posted on 05/01/2012

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Please don't give up. I have been fighting for my niece for over 5 years of reporting the signs of sexual abuse. She was 3 when we first noticed something, it has taken dcp over 4 years to finally take her away from her mother, my sister. Beside dcp stuffing up her case, long story, she is now getting help. Her mother knew it was happening and didn't tell anyone. She was involved with drugs, so I think she let things happen to her daughter so she could get her fix. She still Denys everything and calls her daughter a liar, who is in foster care now. My niece is 8 now and her stories are horrendous.

The best thing you can do for this little girl is to skip dcp and go straight to the police station with your niece. Dcp is so busy, that they may return the child to her mother then start an investigation. If you take her to the police, they won't return her to her mother if they believe she is at risk of abuse or neglect. The police will contact dcp and then she will become a priority. Dcp won't act if one family member or friend calls, they only act after a certain amount of calls after a certain amount of days. But will act straight away if schools, hospitals or police call only once. We called for 4 years, with over 20 different people calling regularly but they only acted when my mothers psychiatric nurse rang out of suspicion.

She isn't lying. Kids don't lie about this stuff. Don't give up in her. You family are in denial, which is a natural response but stay calm and don't freak out in front of your niece. It's not her fault and everyones emotions may make her confusd.

Good luck

Mandy - posted on 05/01/2012

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You have to involve authorities for the only one factor your niece confided in yo, your the adult she wants help from. Your job is to keep her safe at any cost. Don't send her back please get her help they may let her stay with you from the beginning. Your family will be in my prayers.

Vanessa - posted on 05/01/2012

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The girl needs help!!! Obviously she is acting out. The expulsion from school and behavior show it. Whatever the cause is she is seeking out for someone to help her and that is YOU. Even if she is lying there is something affecting her.

Becky @ From Ministry To Motherhood - posted on 05/01/2012

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I would be getting the police involved. Sit down with your niece and explain what is going to happen. Let her know that there will be charges laid and she will need to talk to some people and give her time to process it. Ultimately you need to protect her. She needs an adult who is willing to trust and listen to her. You are that person in her life and you need to help her get out of this terrible situation. It's so great that she has someone to turn to. Not everyone does.

Isaura - posted on 05/01/2012

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First you most talk to a social worker in the school. If she is faking or not the situation is very serious. She need help and she is acting so for someone that can help her.

Julie - posted on 05/01/2012

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Call the school counselor and they are required to look into it -

I would keep it out of the family as much as possible

as they will say and do things that will only make matters worse

but only if there are not other children who are potential victims -

DO talk calmly to this child or she will calm up and not even tell the police the truth OUT OF FEAR ♥

sign me,

been there done that ... a real live nightmare :o(

Cristina - posted on 05/01/2012

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As i read ur story my heart breaks for her bu my advice to u is contact the police now. One thing for sure tests can determine. Plz call the police now. Will be prayin for ur fam

Karen - posted on 05/01/2012

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Levronia, What has happened since you posted this?? Could we get an update ? Today is May 1,
Karen In Ks.

Elaine - posted on 05/01/2012

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Call DHS and the police. This will help protect you as well. I work in a School and if a child come and tell us that he/she has been molested then we are obligated to report it, let them find out if its true or not. If it's true then each State has programs that family members can have custody of the child. Check with your State.

Disa - posted on 05/01/2012

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Even if she wasn't telling the truth, something is going for her to say it in the first place. It is a troubled situation regardless of her honesty. Call child protective services, she needs help.

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