Molested situation

Katrina - posted on 04/26/2012

call child protection services now. If your niece is acting out at school or anywhere it is because she needs help! Too often children can be labelled as troublemakers when there really is a genuine underlying cause and I personally would err on the side of caution NOW and worry about what is truth or not later for the childs utmost safety and Ruth is right CPS and counsellors will be the people to help your niece and know how to read the situation. The most important thing is that she knows that she has your full support and love, I commend you for listening and doing your best to help her. I hope this resolves in the best interests of your niece.

Janie - posted on 04/26/2012

First and most important of all, believe her, there is nothing worse than thinking no one cares and will fight for you. I know, I was eleven when my uncle molested me and trying to tell my mother was the hardest thing to do, you feel so ashamed and think it was your fault, or you started it. My mother finally believed it when my sisters finally spoke up for me, but I was told never to tell my father, bc he would kill him. Which he would have, but it was put in the closet and thirty years later after many painful years dealing with my own sexuality in growing, it resurfaced. With help from my husband and therapist, I confronted both parents. I mourned the innocent girl I was, and the young woman I had become, scared, and insecure. My father was furious and had I just told, maybe he would have been put away before my dad got to him, and not have to carry that burden all those years, I would have wished my mother did more than just tell me if I told, my dad would go to prison. At 55, I would had wished my uncle in prison, because besides my sisters he tried with, there was another that took her life, his daughter.

Shoshawn - posted on 04/26/2012

PLEASE, PLEASE call the police and dont have any doubts as to whether she telling the truth. She aint lieing. It happened to me. And i wouldnt tell because i felt no one would believe me. And when it was told...NO ONE believed me. Dont take that innocent child threw the humliation of questioning her or putting her back in harms way. PLEASE DO WHATS RIGHT.HELP HER

Taj - posted on 04/26/2012

Please contact your police department immediately and notify them of what your niece has told you. CPS should be your second call. This is far less likely to slip through the cracks with the police involved than it would if CPS is notified alone. Your niece is clearly crying out for help. Whether she is telling the truth at this point is irrelevant, she is demonstrating that she is hurting. You appear to be the only family member who seems to care about the fact that she is hurting. Children do not normally lie about this type of abuse. They really don't. But adults do. Adults lie about hurting children and their enablers go along with their lies out of weakness, cruelty, fear, indifference, etc. Please don't further victimize your niece by failing to listen to her and protect her when she is trusting you to stop this from happening to her. You don't have to slay dragons or shoot her molester or do anything other than believe her and report her story to the police and let the authorities investigate it. If you do nothing, you will never be able to live with yourself. Your family, in choosing to take the path they have taken, is just as guilty as her abuser of harming her. I really hope that you stand up for this poor girl. It doesn't appear that she has anyone else and trust is hard to regain once lost. Right now she has chosen to trust you, what you do with that trust is up to you. But remember, you're the adult. She's just a child. She really can't protect herself.

Lakenya - posted on 04/26/2012

Call the police not now but right now. They will investigate and find out if ur niece is lying or not. I don't care if the child is known to be a liar I wouldn't take that lightly at all

Jessica - posted on 04/26/2012

Call Child Protective Services or apply for emergency temporary custody. Have a doctor examine to get proof. She needs you to protect her she trust you and is obviously suffering.

Mimi - posted on 04/26/2012

Ive'd lived it...she trusted you enough to tell you... Now you have the responsibility to do something about it. It will cause a rift, but they will get over it. Children need protecting.

Heather - posted on 04/26/2012

Well I must first say my heart goes out to you and your neice. What I suggest may be hard to do, first call the police if you live in same county, have them come take a report from you and child. Second call DFS your not calling on your sister, you are calling so they can find out if she was abused and by whom, they have trained professionals that can talk to child and see if what they are saying has truth. She should be examined they may or may not be able to tell anything, it makes me sick that people could hurt a child. 9 times out of 10 a child does not make up this stuff, especially if too young to know what they are saying. Good luck. Prayer with you.

Lisa - posted on 04/26/2012

I will never understand mothers who will ignore their own child who tells them something like this. It really infuriates me. Whether she believes the child or not, she needs to address it - the child obviously needs help. Perverts prey on situations like this for this very reason - noone will listen to this child and act on her behalf. You have an opportunity to change the cycle of abuse for her - go to the police and child protective services. I am so so sorry for this child and for you - I cannot imagine how alone you must feel especially with no support from your family. I get the impression by your mention of prayers that you believe in God. If you believe in Him then you know nothing happens by chance - He has sent her to you and given you the burden of looking out for her in this terrible situation. He promises you that He will not call you to do it unless He intends to see you through it - and - He never breaks His promises. Your best available options are the police and child protective services because they are trained to deal with this both legally and through the provision of the services she will need physically and emotionally to come through this as a whole person - the ramifications are life-changing. You might want to start by contacting your local rape crisis hotline and going from there. It is not up to any of us to judge whether she is telling the truth or not - either way this is a cry for help and those service providers will know how to deal with it either way and get her the help she needs as well as hopefully expose and punish a predator. I will pray that the Healer of all things will guide you as you seek to save this child and that His righteous judgement will prevail on behalf of both of you and all your family as well - there is much healing to be done here and I pray it begins soon. Please update as you can - I will keep you in my prayers.

Miranda - posted on 04/26/2012

Call CPS now!

Danielle - posted on 04/26/2012

My gosh, I am so sorry. In all seriousness, you need to call child protective services, or call the police. The police are required to contact them. I hope your niece gets help. As a survivor of molestation myself, I can tell you that she will need it. She will be grateful for you believing her. Always believe children when they say things like this. It's rare that they are lying.

Karissa - posted on 04/26/2012

It seems like everyone has already steared you in the right direction on what it is you need to do. Just know im praying for you, your niece, and your family.

Medic - posted on 04/26/2012

So what did you decide to do?

Queen - posted on 04/26/2012

My prayers are with you..Please Contact the Police and seek a counseling..

Kylie - posted on 04/26/2012

Call child protective services, and also don't let your neice go home. How old is she? perhaps if she made a formal polic complaint that would stop the police forcing her home.

Nancy - posted on 04/26/2012

Don't take her home! Get in touch with social services and ask them to help your niece. There is obviously a problem and they should be able to help. Good luck! this is no easy thing to face.

Rachelle - posted on 04/26/2012

I would contact authorities.

Maura - posted on 04/26/2012

I think that you have tried to get this resolved through your sister and parents. You should contact child services and say that you are very concerned about the safety of your niece. You are already on the outs with your sister, but someone has to look out for your niece You need help and you should get it from child services. I know that it may seem drastic, but your niece needs to feel safe.

Rebecca - posted on 04/26/2012

Im would ALWAYS belive my child over a boyfriend! Call the cops, get her removed from your sister care if your sister is not doing anything about it. Ignoring it is how this continues. The child is the most important. Get her out of the situation and into counceling right away! She needs to know that someone cares. If her mother wont stand up for her then you do it!

Heather - posted on 04/26/2012

Help her please. I was molested by my stepfather from 4 until I was 11. I was too ashamed and afraid to tell anyone. My mother is still married to him and thinks I should just forgive him. I successfully blocked everything out for years. I was successful, ambitious and outgoing....like nothing had ever happened. After I became pregnant with my daughter everything came back to haunt me. I fell apart. I was 27 years old. I became an alcoholic and a drug addict within a year. I ended up in a mental hospitial, lost my family and just generally gave up on myself. These things have a long term affect....lifetime affect if you don't deal with it. This little girl needs someone who is 100% in her corner. Someone to love and protect her...from this monster, her mother (who is just as responsible if she refuses to act on behalf of her child!), and probably from herself. I say this because the dirty, shameful feelings that overwhelm you when something like this happens tend to cause people self-destruct. I am 37 now....mother to two of the most amazing children you could ever hope to meet and finally feel as though I am worthy of love. It took a lot of work to put this behind me as it probably will for her but it is possible with your love and support and a good therapist. Please do not let this girl go thru life thinking she is alone or at fault. You are her guardian angel.



God bless you and your niece.

Lacey - posted on 04/26/2012

You need to do what is best for her and get help! Get a social worker involved and do not let her go back to her mother. She obviosly is more interested in keeping her boyfriend than her own child. If my son told me someone was touching him I would cut off their hands! Your sister should be outraged. Be prepared that you are going to war against your family so have another support system in place. Take care of your niece and screw everyone else.

Kathy - posted on 04/26/2012

I am so sorry that this is happening to your niece. Omg i can't even imagine how that poor little girl must be feeling. I agree with everyone else! I would sit down with her and just reassure her that you will stand by her no matter what. I do believe that the authorities need to be contacted so they can investigate because they are professionals. They will be able to hopefully sort everything out. In my opinion it does sound like something is definitely going on if she is acting out etc. Please don't let your family stop you from protecting your niece. She should be everyone's priority. Even if it isn't true there is something going on with her if she is acting out. I am no professional but i do know children that live in a household with a parents boyfriend or girlfriend and not both biological parents are 20% more likely to be abused so i would stand up for her since noone else seems to want to. It is obviously worrying you so i would definitely call the authorities if i were you! I hope everything works out.

Tracey - posted on 04/26/2012

I wish you all the best and thankfully your neice has you, please get perfessional help and trust your gut, she needs you to be strang, I will keep you all in my prayers and hope you get a solution soon x

Julie - posted on 04/26/2012

been thru this in our family..i am a victim..myself...

i know what it is like not to be heard.. and it is very important to be heard and believed..

If i may suggest ..find an organisation that deals with this.. go talk with them with ur neice...

and they will guide you with how to take the next step... you can email me on mother_hubbard1@hotmail.com... more private...

Yes in yours neices situation .. there has been many cases of this.. some true..and some not.as some kids have jumped on the band wagon wanting to get rid of mums new partner.. this is sad because when it has happened.. the real victims arent heard..sad...

dont know where u live ..but email me..and we can put heads together to find u a organisation to help you both..

Families do crumble with news such as this... put their heads in the sand... with no! feelings or the victim.. so! email with ur phone number if u wish too and i will support u as much as i can..

julia

Sharon - posted on 04/26/2012

Usually when a child is getting molested it is usually someone who can get access through family and the person who is molesting usually can make anyone believe that he is a good guy. They even scare the child and usually they go after children who they know the parents are not really paying attention to that child. They take their time and work the parents and family members. The child is in need of help from one person who can believe them. I know i was molested and I was scared to talk because of causing trouble in the family. BUT it has affected my life forever. Help the girl.

Rachel - posted on 04/26/2012

Less that .05% of children lie about being molested. You are obligated to call the cops and make sure she doesn't return to her mother. Next step is therapy for her to start the recovery process. Please do not wait.

Stephanie - posted on 04/26/2012

Go to the police. If you are in fear for her then get the police involved. They can help sort this situation out. And I would NOT send her back until you are sure she is going to be completely safe.

Ramona - posted on 04/26/2012

Call the "POLICE" & "DCFS" and have them investigate it!!!! Something is definitely going on and it is serious!! It is my experience children DO NOT make this kind of stuff up and in the event they do...there is usually other VERY serious issues that could be going on. One thing is for sure...Your Niece is screaming for HELP!!! So HELP HER!!! Your will never forgive yourself if this is true and you did NOTHING to help her! Shame on her mother who didn't atleast believe her and investigate it!! However, the question is...What are you going to do?! What message are we sending are children, don't bother to tell adults, they won't believe you anyways!! That's how these freakin' SCUMBAG PEDIPHILES choose their victims!! They know exactly which children to target...usually children from "Broken" homes, whether that be literally, medaphorically or spiritually broken homes!!! These Preditors systemically befriend the family, gain trust and move in for the kill!! These SOB need to be STOPPED!!

Again...I repeat...Call the "POLICE" & "DCFS" and have them investigate it!!!!

Sarah - posted on 04/26/2012

You need to call the police immediately!! My daughter (with Down Syndrom) had been sexually molested by my ex-husband from the time she was 4 years old until 16 years old. They hide it so well. She was always hiding out in her bedroom and just wouldn't socialize. Well now I know why. About a year after my ex and I separated, she confided in her baby brother (he was 10 at the time). When he told me I didn't know what to do. I went to my parents, and my dad called the police immediately. He wasn't punished like he should have been. He went to jail for 1 year with huber, 12 years probation, registered sex offender, and had to go to 6 months of counseling. Please do something about it now!!!

Georgia - posted on 04/26/2012

You need to call Child Services immediately! Then, I would sit down with your niece, let her know that you're trying to get help, but let her know that the investigators may make her feel like she's lying. Let her know you believe her, and you want to help, but she has got to be absolutely truthful.



Don't be too hard on your family, but DO take whatever steps necessary to keep your niece safe. Your father may be reacting to what your sister has told him, and believing that if your sister says it's not happening, it can't be real. Of course, things might get uglier between you and your whole family here, but make sure you do what is best for your niece. You may be her only hope.



Also, I wouldn't call anyone else about the situation. Don't discuss it with your family, don't call the other girl's parents, just the police and child services. Let them investigate first. That's their job, and if you start talking to others, several bad things could happen: You could put a bigger rift in your family (not the top priority, but why risk it); you could be accused of interfering with the investigation, or you could be accused of slander.

Mamma - posted on 04/26/2012

I hhave had three children whom have been through this. Please immediately take your niece to a medical doctor fir physical examination and psychiatrist for emotional evaluation. It is possible she is being dishonest and yet it is very possible she is not being dishonest. Either way she needs emotional health care. If you return this child to the hone without doing this and she has had this experience you, by law, will be accountable for returning her to this home. Even if shes lying. I .then you will not be a safe place for doctors and children services to place her. Please listen to her...another option is to call children services immediately. There are other children in the home and if true they are in danger too. By involving children services, finding the truth becomes their issue and they know how to do it. If financially stable use the first avenue and they will call children services. Please understand you must follow through with these actions legally now that she has stated this. I can also shard that I was a trouble to my parents big time but I was not lying about being molested and due to my behavior was not believed or created until I dated somrone who molested my children. Crud runs downhill if not treated. I am praying for you. My children that were hurt are grown and are successful healthy adults due to honesty and treatment in my home. My email us sbr93@aol.com, if you need more help. You are not crazy and you are not alone. God bless. J



I

Tami - posted on 04/26/2012

My heart breaks for you, however it it were me in the situation, I would sit your neice down and tell her that she needs to talk to a counselor, therapist so the situation at hand can be trailed by a professional in addition to going to the authorities if in fact all is true. Since she is not being heard by her mother, you have to be her advocate!



DO NOT send her into a situation if she does not want to return. You may be able to get temporary custody until all is brought forward. Obviously, her mother does not want to believe it due to it being her boyfriend, however I almost had a situation like that happen to me when I was a kid. I told my mother and she kicked him out. Either way, since she has confided in you, you can not turn your back on her her own mother has. I know many who this has happened to. Go the distance for her no matter what it takes without fear. Fight for her. I don't think a child would lie about something like that, especially if she is getting into trouble at school. Call the police on the boyfriend and have them check into his background. Chances are, she is not the first. If, in fact, it is true, your sister will thank you in the long run.

Tia - posted on 04/26/2012

REPORT IT NOW!!!! Your niece needs HELP and it appears that you may be her only savior!!!! She is acting out for a reason. Please DO NOT ignore her cries for help. That would be the worst thing that you could do!!!! Be strong and continue to support your niece. She needs you in her corner!!!

Tina - posted on 04/26/2012

I cry just reading this. As my step daughter was molested by her mothers boyfriend. And I nearly fell apart. This happend when she was 6 and 7 years old and didn't come out until she was in 8th grade. She told a friend who was wise enought to talk to her mother that advised her to tell her favorite teacher. I knew the boyfriend was not a nice guy but had no clue this was going on. My only advice is to take her to the police. Kids don't lie about this stuff, and if she is giving you detail, where else would a child learn this stuff. She is not a liar, I promise you. You must protect her even if it cause problems with your family. This can mess up her whole life and you are all she has. And get her an advocat before she goes to the police they are located at womens centers all over the US in every city. Don't let her be interviewed without anybody and if she will let you go in with her. Please do. I wish I would have insisted on this. My daugher wanted to go alone and it was not good. Good luck I wish I could be there to support you. And please go get counceling for yourself It helps. God be with you in your time of need. I will pray for you both....

Shelley - posted on 04/26/2012

Levornia, Things to look at, How old is the child? Did she tell you things that at her age she would not have known unless it was done to her? That is what the police are going to look at, My daughter was molested, I have spent 3 years learning the system and fighting in court over this. If you can answer yes to that question, Then it is your responsibility to report it. Do it before you send her home, They might let you keep her for the time being. If her mother is not willing to protect the child the child will be removed from her mothers care. You can call the police, Child welfare, or victim services in your area. I pray for you and your neice

Bonnie - posted on 04/26/2012

Unfortunately, this happens more often than we all would like to believe. Do not let her go home. Call the authorities and let them sort it out. Your niece needs your protection against these predators. Ask for temporary custody from the courts. Do whatever you have to do to protect your niece.

Kathryn - posted on 04/26/2012

Go to police and make a report they should call social services I would call a pediatrician also and I definitely would not send her back to the situation .

Kit - posted on 04/26/2012

Regardless of whether the child is telling the truth or not, something is wrong. Children do not make up stories like that for no reason. In any event the child is calling out for help and she is looking to you to be the one to help her. It does not sound like her situation at home is a good one and should be investigated by Child Protection Services (or the equivalent where you are from) before the child is returned to her mother.

Good luck.

Christian - posted on 04/26/2012

As I was reading this I was getting real peed off ur sister is not the brightest tool in the she's this. Hold came to her bout this nasty boyfriend I'd here and she don't want to listen. Ie sister keeps him like he is the only know she can find she is weak minded. Ur parents is another story I just don't don't know what to say but file ur claims keep ur niece and get in contact with the other girls family if they don't listen then u should do the claim on her too her nasty self! If ur niece have a lot of goes back she might kill wither herself or them. She is at the end of her rope splash her her some help before it is too late Will be praying take care of ur niece s

Betty - posted on 04/26/2012

that is disturbing to read.Your neice is being set up for a bad future...With bad memories,not nice ones a child should have..It's time to bring in the big guns.The Welfare.They would probably let her stay with you,as it's hard to place older children in families...I would definitely get in contact with WElfare....Good luck...Betty.Sth Australia....

Eltoya - posted on 04/26/2012

you should report this, this child is in the lions den and no one believes her other than you. she's crying out for help and you are that help. Help her don't send her back to be abused, I'll pray for you both! God didn't give us children to cause them pain, we are to protect them!

Stephanie - posted on 04/26/2012

You need to call the police right away! This child needs an advocate, and she trusts you. The police will call CPS and take her to be examined. I was molested as a child by a family member, and when I finally told my mom, she hugged me and told me she believed me. I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't listened and gotten help for me. You are the only person this little girl trusts, and she needs you to save her, she is just a child and cannot save herself! Good luck, and I'll keep you and her in my thoughts and prayers!

Teresa - posted on 04/26/2012

I've been in your shoes. Who knows who's telling the truth. You can't possibly know for sure but you need to get her help either way. Start by calling a hotline like child help.org 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453). See if you can get her to open up to a counselor who is trained in this situation.

Heidi - posted on 04/26/2012

I was molested as a child by my stepbrother from the time I was 8 til 11 years old. My stepbrother told me if I told anyone he would kill my dad and my little brother. I believed him. This was MANY years ago. When it did finally come out, because I was running away from home all the time when I was 16, I was not believed either. I then ran away to California, to an older brother. I had a lifetime of drugs trying to fill the hole inside me. It consumed me and almost destroyed me.
What I am saying is this needs to be addressed. It is not something that is USUALLY made up by a kid. I agree that you should let the child know that there will be dire, life-changing circumstances that will happen when this is reported. But the child should know, that this is no reason NOT to report these things to the authorities. The other kid that knows may have already told a parent and it will already be out of your hands. Some people are mandated reporters and have to report whether they believe it or not. If anything, keep your niece with you until it is all sorted out.
Thank you for standing up in this situation. I wish the VERY best for all of you.

Catherine - posted on 04/26/2012

call the authorities.. Try to keep custody of her. Continue to support & protect her.

God bless you for not sweeping it under the rug.

Joanne - posted on 04/26/2012

Go straight to the police hun xxxx have hospital check her over for any signs she is being touched.

Eunice - posted on 04/26/2012

When the river makes a sound, it is because it's carrying water. Something is happening to that girl. Get CYS involved and they will investigate.

Kellie - posted on 04/26/2012

Call the police immediately. Do not let that little girl go home. Take her to the police station if necessary.

Lynette - posted on 04/26/2012

OMG! this is my worst nightmare for any little girl! they are so helpless! I pray hard that it will NEVER happen to my LG4, I will kill that person, and I hope that she will trust me enough to tell me if it does. Please please keep her safe with you. The fact that you are asking for help means you believe her and want to help her! Do me a favour and go and smack your sister hard! this is her mom! she was given this beautiful gift ftom God and needs to go to the end of the earth to protect her! Confront this man! Call the police! Do something to save her! Don't listen to the rest of your family! this little girl has come to you for help. Don't send her away! They will punish her more! I pray for guidance and strength for you and her...always in my thoughts...

Melissa - posted on 04/25/2012

Call the police, always.



I was molested by a neighbor as a child ONCE. I was lucky, I didn't hesitate went directly to my parents and told them. They believed me and delt with it like a parent(s) should. Don't let your niece be one of the children who slip through the cracks because no one feels it's their responsibility or they just don't want to deal with reality.



As for the girl at school molesting your niece (if I read that right of course), the school has to be notified. Something happened to that little girl as well! No one just starts molesting someone for the hell of it.