Mom of one with a traveling husband

Sara - posted on 03/03/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My name is Sara, I am a full time stay at home mom and a part time student. I have one daughter who is going to be 7 months old, and a husband who travels 50% of the time. I know he works hard, but it is hard to talk with him (on the rare occasion that we get to talk over there phone with out work, temper-tantrums, poopy diapers or shoddy reception getting in the way) and not list off the hard times of the day or the simple accomplishments made.

Can this be done, can you retrain your conversation style...

Looking to rekindle the long distance phone conversation - emotionally and intellectually

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Christine - posted on 03/03/2009

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Sara, I can completely relate to your situation. I'm a fairly recent stay-at-home mother of 2. My husband worked and lived, mon.-fri., in DC for quite some time and is now deployed to Iraq. Honestly, my best advice to you is to set up a call time that suits both of your schedules. It's the only way you are going to get a decent conversation in. Also, I write down things I don't want to forget to tell him. I'm sure your husband is working hard, but I know from true experience, (i could be wrong though) that you are feeling a bit overwhelmed, all of the family responsiblities are on you, you're tired, and you need him to understand and listen to you. Just try asking him if there is any way he can call you when the baby is sleeping. Then you can get a decent conversation in. You need time to think.



The few times my husband has called on an off-time, our conversation was never calm, and I inevitably got frustrated, because the kids are interferring. He learned very quickly that it was not worth aggrivating me, just to say hi. It actually made me start to resent him a bit, because he was sitting in a nice calm house at 5:30 while I was running around dealing with kids, their friends, after school stuff, dance class...dinner....the dog....



To rekindle......i was just writing an email  to my husband about his today, remember the days when you were still dating, waiting for his phone calls, butterflys in your stomach...it made me all sappy just thinking about it, so when he did call, I was so excited to talk to him. I had all these great memories running through my head. Try and put yourself back in those memories. It worked for me.



E-mail is another thing. Save all the dry, or potentially worrysome conversation for email. Like bills that need to be paid, shopping that needs to be done, phone calls and problems that you took care of for the family, things like that. This saves your very precious phone time for more personal things, like the milestones your daughter will be achieving soon!



I hope this helps, I truly understand how you are feeling.

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