Mouthy 7 year old. What do I do?

Karen - posted on 09/16/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My seven year old is out of control! I know it sounds crazy but it is true. She is so disrespectful and always has to have the last word. She stomps around the house, mumbling under her breath but loud enough to let me hear what she is saying, destructive, she acts like a teenager. I have tried talking to her, punishing her, taking things away from her. I am fed up. I have now resorted to butt whoopings. I cant take it anymore! If I don't get a grip on her now, it will be too late. Spare the rod, Spoil the child. I am afraid that this is what has happened. Then when I do go to give her a spanking she screams that I am trying to kill her! It is ridiculous. She is emotionally out of whack. She has had a good childhood for the most part. She hasn't had to deal with too much, there is no abuse, she has both myself and her stepfather (biological dad died when she was 6 months old, he has been there for her since). I give her everything I can afford. It is just too much. She is also very ungrateful.

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Sheryl - posted on 09/17/2010

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Hi Karen,
Try role playing with her when she is being good, at that time you be the bad child and see what she will say or do. Ask her if you are a rude girl and if mummy is sad and see what she will suggest.
Good luck, SherylH

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Sandy - posted on 11/02/2011

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Boy, I can say ditto to my 7 year old son. Your post are my exact thoughts and words. HELP.

Karen - posted on 09/17/2010

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Wow, everyone has so great suggestions. My daughter is overweight and I believe her self esteem is low which is probably why she is so unhappy. In school she is an angel. I am going to get her in some counseling, I have been seriously considering it for some time now. Thank you everyone.

JuLeah - posted on 09/17/2010

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Kids don't act like this for no reason. Do you think she is happy? Of course not. She doesn't like this any better then you do. You need to figure out what is going wrong. Blame seldom works, so "she is just ungrateful ...." doesn't solve the problem. Look at this as a puzzle that needs to be solved and you need her help to do it.
I knew a kid who acted like this. Years later we learned she had been sexually assulted walking home from school and was still attempting to deal with it. Had not told anyone cause she thought she'd get into trouble and her parents would not love her any more.
I am not saying this is what happened to your kid. But, from this other girl, I learned, there is ALWAYS a reason.
Is your child sleeping enough? (8 hours at least)
Does she eat dairy or meat that has hormones in it? That can really mess with the system of a child her age. It will bring on all the teen behaviors.
Does she eat sugar, food dyes, chemicals, fast food ..... all of that messes with the chemical balance of the brain, the hormone levels .....
Have you asked her why she seems so mad, upset?
She sounds like a very angry kid. Were she mine, I'd want to know why.
Does she get enough time with sports? Jogging, baseball, swimming, ..... something where she can get her heart rate up and get her blood pumping every day - this allows her brain to release chemicals that leave a person feeling calm and content
How is she at school? Does she have friends? What do her teacher's say? School counselor?
You are right that if you don't get a grip now it will be too late, but I suggest a positive approach

Good luck

Desderia - posted on 09/17/2010

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I feel your pain, My ten year old is the same way. It is extremely difficult, but if you give up and show her that she is irritating you that is when it will only get worse. It sounds cruel but I put my daughter in a corner (as old as she is) and sternly tell her this is where she will stay until she realizes what to do. I remove myself from the room and try to go about a routine such as dusting to get my mind off her behaviour. I have also stopped doing the extra's with her because she is ungreatful as well. This summer she was lucky if she saw the park, but her behaviour all summer improved so much, I rewarded her with a trip to one theme park instead of three or four throught the span of the summer. You just have to constantly let her know who exactly is in control in that house hold, and what the consequences are when she behaves like an animal, I won't take either of my kids to a fast food place to eat if they act like animals, I have actually left a line in a resturant because she wouldn't listen. I tell mine if you continue to act like an animal I'll put you in the zoo because I'm a mother not a zookeeper....that's her warning for she's getting out of control and so far she's it's been getting better. I once read if you are going to threaten a child with a certain punishment you have to stick to it, if not they will realize that they can walk all over you. Good Luck

Michelle - posted on 09/16/2010

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I would seek counseling for her, as she sounds like my son and he was diagnosed right around the same age with ODD (Opositional Defiance Disorder) it is when children act out to authority figures if you google it they will give you a description of the symptoms. Once diagnosed I was given ideas on how to deal with him and I went from feeling like I was constantly beating my child to having a lot of fun with him.

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Some of it is probably the age. I also agree that something may be bothering her that she needs to talk about... to you or a counselor.

One thing I do w/ my girls (now almost 9) is put them in time out standing w/ their nose on the wall and their hands behind their backs... for anywhere from 5-15 minutes. They hate that, so it tends to help.

Erica - posted on 09/16/2010

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Maybe something is bothering her and she is actind out. Maybe some counseling would do her some good. Also something that I heard about is take everything away from her(bed, dressers, etc.) and make her earn it back , if she acts out after earning it back take it away again. Hope you find something that works for you and your child

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