mummy needs sleep!

Fiona - posted on 06/04/2009

Is he screaming? even though my little girl sleeps well she often has a cry but settles herself down. Unless she screaming i leave her. Also if you let him fall asleep on you he may wake up and realise that you no longer have him in a cuddle and be shocked and also need that cuddle again x

Carolyn - posted on 06/04/2009

My daughter is now over 2 years old and still doesn't sleep through. We just bear with it and although it's hard work I know that eventually it will happen. Sooner rather than later I hope. Putting her to bed in itself is a nightmare and she will usually cry for anything up to an hour (used to be a lot longer!) C'est la vie !!

LaCi - posted on 06/04/2009

Mine didn't officially sleep through the night until he was 10 months old. he would do it every once in a while before that, and i would always get my hopes up. I feel for you, I can't take naps its like, physically impossible. no matter how many times i try it never happens. so i went 9 months sleep deprived and miserable. But he will sleep through the night, there is a light at the end of this dark sleepless tunnel.

Bridie - posted on 06/04/2009

My son - also Jake - hit a few patches where he wouldn't sleep properly after being unwell (we've been in hospital a few times). I can't find Fabiennes first post I would've loved to read it!

Heres our experience - I found CIO worked great when he was younger and used it from the time he was about 3 weeks (hes perfectly well-adjusted, happy, loving and bonded to me and his dad just in case anyones wondering) and will do again with our next bub. As he got older I did find that the length of time he'd yell got longer and loooonger and loooooooooonger lol I think our record was uhm 4 and a half hours! I decided it was abit much for me emotionally after he started screaming til he threw up (absolutely nothing was wrong with him we're under paeds here and he was perfectly fine he just wanted me to stay with him) so I stopped doing nights and his dad took over coz hes firmer IYKWIM and Jake knows he means business. He would go in and pat Jakes back without interacting with him til he calmed down then leave the room. He'd wait for 1 minute and go in again if Jake was yelling again and pat his back again til he calmed down then leave again. He'd wait 2 minutes and go in again, etc. This had Jake sleeping through again within 3 nights.

Just thought I'd post it as a next step option if CIO drags on abit :) Sleep issues are tough coz you get so tired and that makes you feel more emotional which makes everything harder (thats what I think anyway) so I'm sending you some mummy-toughness to help you through the next few nights!

Kristie - posted on 06/03/2009

hey kylie..thank u 4 ur help.. my mother only told me this morning that there are even things such as sleep schools.. i had no idea!! but i think i have decided that after recieving advice from all you guys that i am going to go with the CIO method.. it seems to work the best for most mothers and i have found that those that havent taught their children to self soothe are still awaking at night even when the child is at two years of age.. thank you also for the website i found it very helpful!

thanksxx

Kylie - posted on 06/03/2009

Hi,

My bub did not sleep through the night either, he is nearly 8mths now. We had huge troubles getting him to sleep (day and night). He would fall asleep but the minute we left the room or put him down he would wake up. We went to a sleep school (becasue sleeping is a learned skill) and it was the best thing we could have done.



The self soothing method (aka CIO) worked for us, it was very hard but both Jake, his Dad and I are all happier for it. I don't beleive it effects them and in fact we are doing him a favour by teaching him to sleep. I liked this web site and purchased the book if you are interested www.silentnights.org

Goodluck,

Kylie and Jake

Annie - posted on 06/03/2009

Hi I am new here. I know it is hard when babies don't sleep through the night and keep waking up. Your last posting sound so much like my son. We would stay with him, lay a hand on him while waiting for him to fall asleep and as soon as we thought he was asleep, and as soon as we lifted our hands, he would cry and the process started all over again. He was about 1 at that time. However, sleeping with you may solve the immediate problem, it may create a new one. Sounds like your son is very attached to you and I hate to break this to you, but you may have a hard time getting him to sleep on his own later on. My son is adopted though he had been with us since he was 1. He too has attachment issue and we realized that if we slept with him in his bed, he would expect that every night. If we pat him, it would take hours before we can stop.

There is this weird method that many have tried and I have seen it worked before. Talk into his ears (softly and gently, of course) hours before bedtime to sleep through the night and allow you to sleep. Tell him he does not need to cry, that you love him and is always there for him. It is like talking to his subconscious mind, which is very powerful. I have used it on my son after he would wake up a couple of nights in a row over what we adults see as nothing. He is hard to hearing and I would tell him what I need to tell him after he has taken off his hearing aid and that night he would sleep thorugh without an episode.

My husband and I foster children and I made the mistake of sleeping with my first set of brothers who came to our home because their mother told me that that was what she did with her boys. I did that and I hardly could get any sleep myself because if the older boy hapened to open his eye and not see me there, he would scream and cry and I used to shuttle between his bed and mine

A teacher adviced me what to do and implementing the new method of sleeping was hell but thankfully only for one night. But I learned to pick up signs as to whether it is ok to have a child sleep with us or not.

Kristie - posted on 06/03/2009

hey cecilia sorry for not putting down all the details but yes after his little episodes he will usually go back to sleep n hour or two later.. the other night my mum sat up with him till 1am - he just wont sleep... okay ive tried a few things over the last few days.. giving him more dinner before bed (dont work) rusks or cereal in his bottle (dont work) so yeh its basically coming down to the point where i am having to put him in the bed with me to get a decent sleep or rock him for hours cos see how u sed u put ur bubba down just before they go to sleep well the second i even stand up and he aint fully asleep he will wake up like he knows im going to put him down.. i know it isnt good to be stressed but i try not to let it show infront of him tho i know he can sense it.. thanks cecila hope u have a better understanding now..

thank u! xx

Cecilia - posted on 06/03/2009

Everyone is going to disagree, because we all have different ways that help.

My first suggestion is white noise, this could be anything from a fan running in the room or a white noise machine. Similar to the heart beat sound, but since the age is a few months they might not be as responsive to a heartbeat as a new born would be.

You don't actually state if you are able to get him back to sleep after these bouts. Or even how long they last. What worked for me... a rocking chair. Simple and easy.Yes i know some say not to hold them but i would put them back right before they would fall asleep. believe this builds their confidence to fall asleep without you.

If it does continue find a family member to come over an hour during the day to allow you a nap time so you aren't as worn out at night to the point of frustration. Being frustrated s probably the worst thing for the baby since they can tell when mommy "just isn't into it."

Kristie - posted on 06/03/2009

hey guys thank u all for ur great help and support, u have all had different but similar view on what i should do with my child.. i know i have mothers instict lol but its good just to ask and see what other mothers have been through and how they have handled it.. love all you guys and new special thanks to fabienne and cathralyn for their recent responses!

Cathralynn - posted on 06/02/2009

So here's my two cents as I've had disagreements with tamara before. I think you will know what's best for your baby, and just take others thoughts and your docs advice and then make a decision. In my experience, mind you I only have one who is a great sleeper, you want to tend to every cry and noise until 4-6mo. After that if you know your childs needs have been met and you're not hearing one of those "really bad something's wrong cries" its okay to let them try to soothe themselves (code for cry it out hee-hee). There are some things you can try to make it easier. Your baby is nine mo so I imagine its okay to have a soft blanket and some of his fav soft toys, or maybe something that smells like you in his crib with him. When he cries give it a min and see what happens. Sometimes my daughter was not fully awake when she cried and would drift off again. Babies are noisy sleepers. If you need to, do like others said, go in and rub his back or something but don't pick him up. In may case my daughter was a great sleeper on her own, but at 8mo did the separation anxiety thing. We would rub her back and play music, then we rocked her and eventually put her in a swing. It lasted about a month and we were starting to be up 2hrs a night crying. It was worse whenever I left the room. I called the doc (and I love my pediatrician tamara!) and he said I had two options: Put her in our bed or do some version of cry it out. I didn't want to have to break her of the sleeping with us habit so I chose to let her cry it out. One night, for an hour (off and on) was all it took. The hardest night of my life so far, but she's slept on her own since. Babies are fast learners and you might be surprised. Some ideas: We have a music soother on the crib that my daughter has learned to turn on and off on her own when she wants it. And I got rid of the baby monitor. At this point my daughters cries are loud enough for me to hear thru the floor, and I miss the quiet whining of her just working it out. You do whatever you choose, this might not work for you, but it did for me and I thought you might like to hear someone else's experience. AND my daughter is the happiest, most loving girl in the world so I know I didn't damage her. Good luck!

Fabienne - posted on 06/02/2009

Kristie, I would say trust your insticts! That's why you are the Mom ;) If you feel a burp needs to come up, then most likely you are right. If he wants you to nurse him for an hour, great! He wants your company and as long as it is what you want to do that is fine. We all would love to have a baby that goes to sleep as soon as his precious heads hits the bed, but in reality that rarely happens. Babies go through so many phases during the first years, you need to be flexible enough to go with the flow, but strict enough to stick to a consistent routine. All in all, it sounds to me like you are doing a great job!



As for CIO, it is a very controversial issue. Moms will fight "tooth and nail" to defend their choices, not only on sleeping issues (ex.breastfeeding vs bottlefeeding). Ferber method worked for me, and we are both happier for it!

Kristie - posted on 06/02/2009

lol yeh me too.. well im off to bed too! its 12pm here god no wonder im tired eh.. well thanks babe for all ur help tonight *hugs* hope ur bubbi gets better.. love ya goodnight x

Mel - posted on 06/02/2009

glad to hear that mate thanks *hugs* dont think she meant anything she just goes too far with her opinions sometimes tries to push them on others but she thinks she's doing the right thing. im off to bed 10pm here have only been logging on the circle of moms to read this thread xx

Kristie - posted on 06/02/2009

hey bub i wasnt really aiming at u seeing u didnt start it but tamara had no need to go post all that info on if i wanted to b smart i culdve dun the same thing bk but like i sed i aint pushin my views on anyone n either should she.. fair enuf she has her opinions but go post all ur info on ur own circle tamara - then the people who WANT to read it and do believe as u do tamara can go to u and u's can discuss it

Mel - posted on 06/02/2009

ur right hun this is ur thread i deeply apologise :) thanks for adding me to ur circle and hope all goes well with bubba

Kristie - posted on 06/02/2009

hey fabienne thank u for ur views on my issues on reading what help u gave it sounds extremely like my child he is in that age group and will wake between 6 and 7.30 no later will wake till about 9.30 - 10 and then have a nap but will sleep for an hour at the most then will wake play n have lunch another nap around 2-3pm this one perhaps 1-2 hours or sometimes as little as 25 mins and then yeh regular routine from there of dinner 6-630 bath 7-730 bottle n bed by 830 but like i said to melissa he wont burp and like tonight is then waking to burp and just wants me to like nurse him for an hour or so till he decides hell go to sleep!

Kristie - posted on 06/02/2009

look guys keep ur shit ights to urself im on here to get advice and yes i believe each to there own.. there is just as many facts saying something is correct as there are saying it is wrong - god make up ur own mind do NOT pressure ur methods or beliefs on others! every child is different as is every parent so GET OVER IT!!!! this is a place to compare and seek help not bitch about who knows more about whats right or wrong!

Mel - posted on 06/02/2009

Fabienne - your post sounds alot more accurate to met and sounds just like my daughters routine with her night time sleep and naps!

http://stanford.wellsphere.com/sleep-dre...

Just a link listing some theorys incase anyone is interested

Tamara - posted on 06/02/2009

Quoting Melissa:

um the last time u posted links i found just as many links to say the opposite. everyone has different views you can find your crap on there about how bad it is and i could find just as much if i wanted to but i dont because ive got better stuff to do. anyway who cares each to their own

I'm sorry that responding promptly to your child's cries is "crap" in your eyes but I will continue to educate about the dangers of CIO.  Even if I can only help one mother avoid it, I've done the right thing.

Tamara - posted on 06/02/2009

Quoting Melissa:

and tamara why do you say in so many posts recently that babies do not sleep through the night til 24 months? ive very rarely if ever heard of a baby still waking at 24 months...

There have been quite a few studies showing the nightwaking occurs in over half of babies until the age of 24 months.

http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/...

Armstrong KL, Quinn RA & Dadds MR. .
Medical Journal of Australia 1994 Aug 1;161(3):202-6.

The above study is the definitive work on sleeping habits of (Australian) children to 38 months. The researchers surveyed 3269 parents, with a 96.5% response rate, over a one week period. The parents had to report on their child's sleeping habits over the past 24 hours, plus answer a few questions related to their perceptions of their child's sleep behavior.

What did they find?

There is a wide range of normal childhood sleep behavior.

Circadian rhythm is not well established until four months of age.

Daytime sleep becomes less regular with increasing age, the most marked reduction in length occurs around 3 months of age. However, a surprising 11% under 3 months of age don't have a daytime sleep every day.

Frequent night waking that disturbs parents is common from 4-12 months (12.7% disturb their parents 3 or more times every night).

Night time settling requires more parental input from 18 months.

Nearly a third of parents have a significant problem with their child's sleep behavior.

Sleeping through the night: 71.4% did this on at least one occasion by 3 months of age, but many of these relapse into more frequent waking in the 4 to 12 month period. It is not until after 24 months that regular night waking (requiring attention) becomes much less common.

Although this study did not address breastfeeding, it is relevant because a lack of understanding of "normal" sleep patterns can lead to supplementing, early solids, belief there is not enough milk, etc. The authors claim it also leads to misdiagnosis of gastro-esophageal reflux (GER) and overuse of sedative medication. A worrying 31% of 25-38 month-old children were disciplined (mostly smacking) to get them to settle. 27% of parents let their children cry, 11% at less than one month.

Mel - posted on 06/02/2009

um the last time u posted links i found just as many links to say the opposite. everyone has different views you can find your crap on there about how bad it is and i could find just as much if i wanted to but i dont because ive got better stuff to do. anyway who cares each to their own

Tamara - posted on 06/02/2009

Quoting Melissa:

oh darling you've got it rough. Tamara please your insesent need to tell people not to do CIO, sometimes you just have to its the way it is and it does not damage to them at all it helps their lungs.

Wow you got cousins that live over here in aus thats cool! mine hasnt needed to be burped in a really long time she doesnt seem to take any air in so i dont even remember what its like to burp a baby. he definately sounds clingy im unsure why hes that clingy though but dont feel like youve done wrong you havent! your just a mother doing the best you can and sounds like your so tired and worn out from everything does your partner help out ive been so lucky to have a baby thats just always wanted to sleep through she loves her sleep i had to set MY alarm to wake her for her feeds. So i truly feel for those not as lucky as me. its hard but it does pass. i wish i could tell you more but i dont think i can help you

As I've posted before, CIO is neither necessary nor effective in helping a baby sleep.  The fallacy that its good for a baby's lungs has been passed around for years despite it being shown again and again that its completely wrong.  It is damaging to them to CIO.

http://pregnancyandbaby.com/pregnancy/ba...

As for crying being healthy for baby's lungs? Kitzinger and Taubman both agree the advice is "stupid and inappropriate." In her book, blood pressure goes up, the veins in his head may swell and even break, and his blood oxygen level starts to go down, not up."

If you ignore your baby's cry -- because that's the advice you were given -- you are teaching your baby he can't always count on you -- and you are training yourself to be desensitized to your child's cry, promoting detachment instead of attachment.

Citing a study on maternal-infant bonding -- which examined psychologically healthy kids and what contributes to that versus clingy children, he explained babies who are cuddled are more secure, and "parents who ignore their infant's cries are promoting abnormal attachment."

What about claims that picking up a baby every time it cries is spoiling it? Kitzinger disagrees, saying babies are spoiled by not responding, the baby "can go on making that noise and nothing is going to happen. It's as if the whole world is unresponsive -- the baby can scream and scream and no one is going to notice. One of the important things we teach our children are caring and tenderness -- we teach them that by how we treat them."

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handou...

Researchers have found babies whose cries are usually ignored will not develop healthy intellectual and social skills. 19

Dr. Rao and colleagues at the National Institutes of Health showed that infants with prolonged crying (but not due to colic) in the first 3 months of life had an average IQ 9 points lower at 5 years of age. They also showed poor fine motor development. (2)

Researchers at Pennsylvania State and Arizona State Universities found that infants with excessive crying during the early months showed more difficulty controlling their emotions and became even fussier when parents tried to consol them at 10 months. 15

Other research has shown that these babies have a more annoying quality to their cry, are more clingy during the day, and take longer to become independent as children 1.

Research has shown that infants who are routinely separated from parents in a stressful way have abnormally high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, as well as lower growth hormone levels. These imbalances inhibit the development of nerve tissue in the brain, suppress growth, and depress the immune system. 5, 9, 11, 16

Researchers at Yale University and Harvard Medical School found that intense stress early in life can alter the brain’s neurotransmitter systems and cause structural and functional changes in regions of the brain similar to those seen in adults with depression. 17

One study showed infants who experienced persistent crying episodes were 10 times more likely to have ADHD as a child, along with poor school performance and antisocial behavior. The researchers concluded these findings may be due to the lack of responsive attitude of the parents toward their babies. 14.

Dr. Bruce Perry’s research at Baylor University may explain this finding. He found when chronic stress over-stimulates an infant’s brain stem (the part of the brain that controls adrenaline release), and the portions of the brain that thrive on physical and emotional input are neglected (such as when a baby is repeatedly left to cry alone), the child will grow up with an over-active adrenaline system. Such a child will display increased aggression, impulsivity, and violence later in life because the brainstem floods the body with adrenaline and other stress hormones at inappropriate and frequent times. 6

Dr. Allan Schore of the UCLA School of Medicine has demonstrated that the stress hormone cortisol (which floods the brain during intense crying and other stressful events) actually destroys nerve connections in critical portions of an infant’s developing brain. In addition, when the portions of the brain responsible for attachment and emotional control are not stimulated during infancy (as may occur when a baby is repeatedly neglected) these sections of the brain will not develop. The result – a violent, impulsive, emotionally unattached child. He concludes that the sensitivity and responsiveness of a parent stimulates and shapes the nerve connections in key sections of the brain responsible for attachment and emotional well-being. 7, 8

Animal and human research has shown when separated from parents, infants and children show unstable temperatures, heart arrhythmias, and decreased REM sleep (the stage of sleep that promotes brain development). 10 12, 13

Dr. Brazy at Duke University and Ludington-Hoe and colleagues at Case Western University showed in 2 separate studies how prolonged crying in infants causes increased blood pressure in the brain, elevates stress hormones, obstructs blood from draining out of the brain, and decreases oxygenation to the brain. They concluded that caregivers should answer cries swiftly, consistently, and comprehensively. (3) and (4)

These very conclusively show that CIO is not only harmful in the short term but in the long term as well and shouldn't be done.

Mel - posted on 06/02/2009

and tamara why do you say in so many posts recently that babies do not sleep through the night til 24 months? ive very rarely if ever heard of a baby still waking at 24 months...

Fabienne - posted on 06/02/2009

i've read that 8- 11 month olds are in the "separation anxiety" phase and that it is one of the most difficult times to try and "sleep train" your baby. My daughter is only 7 months, but i've had to hear her cry-it-out, and it is the most heart-wrenching thing to do. But i believe in it. it was the only way she would sleep. I don't think you are spoiling him or that he is too clingy. I just think he is going through that time when he wants you near all the time. through all my research, the most important thing to do is be consistant. it is more important than the method you choose. if every night you do something different, he won't learn how to go to sleep on his own. also, how is he napping during the day?

from a book i read:

"Nine to Twelve Months

By the ninth month of age, your baby should be sleeping for 11 hours at

night and for about 2 to 4 hours during the day. Your baby should still be

taking two naps a day, a morning and an afternoon nap. Around nine months of

age, the morning nap should last for about one to two hours, and the afternoon

nap should last for about one to two hours.

As your baby approaches his first birthday, the length of these naps will

decrease. Wake up time should be between 6 and 7:30, and 3 hours should pass

before the morning nap. In addition, there should be a 3 hour time span between

the morning nap and the afternoon nap. Baby's bedtime should continue to be

between 6:00 p.m. and 7:30 p.m."



Hope this helps!!

Mel - posted on 06/02/2009

oh darling you've got it rough. Tamara please your insesent need to tell people not to do CIO, sometimes you just have to its the way it is and it does not damage to them at all it helps their lungs.

Wow you got cousins that live over here in aus thats cool! mine hasnt needed to be burped in a really long time she doesnt seem to take any air in so i dont even remember what its like to burp a baby. he definately sounds clingy im unsure why hes that clingy though but dont feel like youve done wrong you havent! your just a mother doing the best you can and sounds like your so tired and worn out from everything does your partner help out ive been so lucky to have a baby thats just always wanted to sleep through she loves her sleep i had to set MY alarm to wake her for her feeds. So i truly feel for those not as lucky as me. its hard but it does pass. i wish i could tell you more but i dont think i can help you

Tamara - posted on 06/02/2009

This is what we call normal. Babies don't actually sleep through the night as we adults define it until after 24 months of age since they wake up in the night and require us as their parents to help them transition back to sleep.

Also, babies don't cry for nothing. The cry is the most basic method of communication. It is the baby's tool to tell us that something is wrong. It can be anything from "I'm hungry" to "I'm scared. I need you." Please don't ignore your child's cries in the night, it only teaches them that their needs won't be met.

Kristie - posted on 06/02/2009

hey lol i didnt even realise u lived in perth.. funnily ebough i have cousins that live over there! yeh i dono he isnt making himself choke but he will work himself up so much from crying just in the first 15 minute slot that he starts likeyeh coughing and sounds like hes short of breathe like he has got a little cold n runny nose at the moment but that wouldnt make him that upset would it? and the thing is he sint a wingy baby he wont winge for anything he is always happy so i dont know its hard to really explain like u said just by trying to tel u wats happening with him.. cos at about 6 i give him dinner by about 7-7.30 he has a bath and then usually round 8-8.30 he'll b ready for a bottle n go off to sleep but lately he hasnt been burping afterwards and will then wake up an hour later (he just did this tonight so ill tell u straight up) to burp and doesnt want to go back down- like hes tired n wingy but doesnt want to have a bottle or feed or play just wants me to hold him and it still took him an hour or so to go back to sleep... do u think hes clingy lol??

Mel - posted on 06/02/2009

i would think and my partner agrees on this if your little one is crying that long and not falling asleep from it maybe there is another reason he is crying? im not saying its serious babys cry for many reasons but its worth going to a childrens hospital the nurses there are fantastic, i mean i went to 4 doctors and they all told me there was nothing wrong with mine then i took her to emergency at the chidrens hospital and she was admitted for a month and a half and 12 months on is still having ongoing care from them. im not saying at all theres anything serous or that theres even something wrong there may not be but it might be worth checking out just to be sure hes not in any kind of discomfort. what do your family think? does he make himself choke do you mean? you can usually tell the difference from a baby whining to a serious cry or a scream as to how upset they are. as they get older they really just whine rather then cry over little things. its ok to have him in your bed when mine was sick i used to do this because it was the only way to get her to sleep for even 5 minutes, as long as your prepared for the fact that he may have trouble sleeping by himself but if its the only way for the both or you to get sleep then i would definately agree with it. i dont think im mentally strong at all actually i need to develop some skills in patience with my daughter but i will get there thanks for ur compliments, if only you wer ein perth! would be easier for me to help ya.

Kristie - posted on 06/02/2009

lol thank u.. i dont know about fantastic but i am trying! thats okay that you didnt recognise me! i just thought id add you seeing uve been so helpful towards me... sorry to keep lingering on the subject but see how u said its right to leave him cry if he dont make himself sick or get distressed like sometimes he cries so much he makes himself cough? but like a harsh cough. and i have been naughty by just throwing him in our bed cos im just too tired from getting up to him! so theres a few things i have to work on! youre so lucky hopefully ill be mentally as strong as u have been with your baby and get through this stage.

Mel - posted on 06/02/2009

no problem. im soo sorry i didnt recognise who u werr on fb! how rude of me. its ok that you've spoiled him just means ur a good mummy and he knows how much you love him, its hard to break the cycle but once you do its fantastic and he will play with his toys by himself on the floor and you can relax and just watch him or do what you have to do. i give my little one some wooden spoons and pans to bang and play with while i cook. beautiful picture sweets i see you are a year younger then me good luck with everything and well done for being such a fantastic mother

Kristie - posted on 06/02/2009

well all the doctors ive taken him too say ive jus spoild him n hes too clingy!i hope that one of the things uve suggested works thank u for taking the time to help me out!

Mel - posted on 06/02/2009

well if the baby is not in serious distress and not making themselves sick from crying its ok. but i wouldnt think it would be normal for a 9 month old to carry on for that long. anyway mine never cried more then an hour and a half. at that age you cant really go n pick them up and put them back down because it just makes them more upset. its really hard to just leave them. you could always try rubbing his head or face lightly seee if it helps him go to sleep?

Kristie - posted on 06/01/2009

hey guys thank u for ur help and quick responses.. to kristy - no i have nver thought of doing that but i wil give it a try it sounds very smart and to Melissa and Lalita i know control crying is the best method and it is okay fior them to cry but i hate hearing him cry it kills me and i will check on him every 15-20mins but is it okay for this process to carry on like 2-2.5 hours? thank u!

Lalita - posted on 06/01/2009

Babys do not cry for nothing hun. If he was sick you were probably up & at his Beck & call the whole time it thru his schedule off. I agree that you should let him cry, believe it or not it is actually good for them (15-20min) if he hasnt stopped by then go & rub his tummy or back & talk soothingly just to let him know u r there. DO NOT pick him up he will continue doing as he is doing. By letting him know you r there you let him know that u care & by not picking him up u r letting him know it is time to sleep & he must stay in his bed no matter how much he fusses. Hope that helps ;-)

Mel - posted on 06/01/2009

it hes crying for nothing i would let him cry he needs to learn how to self soothe and sleep thru again if he could do it so well before he can do it again. i can understand that would be very frustrating. my daughter has very very rarely woken overnight so if she did now i would just feel angry and wonder what the hell was going on

Kristy - posted on 06/01/2009

ever tryed putting a watch in his pillow case or somrthing that sounds like a heart beat in the cot with him they love the sound of ur heart beat. an making sure his sheets r tight so he feels like someone is holding him tight constantly even if u have to put a boomarang pillow round him to stop him from wiggling everywhere.