My 1 yr old refuse to sleep in her own bed, the moment she falls a sleep and I put her down on her on bed she gets up and starts to cry. I'm to tired to try to put her back so she sleeps with me. Help!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kizzy - posted on 03/24/2009

1

25

0

If letting her cry doesn't work.  Try putting pillows next to her and adding your shirt from that day to her bed or over the pillow.  I know it sound silly, but she is missing your smell.  That will comfort her.  I had to do it with one of my sons.

Emily - posted on 03/24/2009

1,163

13

188

Does she sleep through the night once you get her asleep if you leave her in your bed? If so, I would just get her a regular bed instead of a crib and put her down in there for a while before slowly modifying the routine so she is falling asleep on her own.

Sonya - posted on 03/24/2009

3

6

0

Danielle I must say that I do need to start laying her down more often to put herself to sleep. Her dad is such a sofite with her being since it is our first child. I try to remind him that he can't continue that way or it's going to be trouble in the years to come and I don't want to be looked upon as the "bad mom" who doesn't put her kid to sleep or let them sleep with her. Things have got to change so that we can completely have our bed to ourselves. Any more advice you can give will be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Lisa - posted on 03/24/2009

2

10

0

I know it is hard to hear your child cry when you know you can comfort them. You need to let her cry so she learns to self sooth. By then end of the week you will have your bed back, or you will creat a routine your child is comfortable with and she will be in your bed a very long time. Our first daughter was in our bed until she was 5, she still has trouble going to sleep every night. Her little sister that we put in her bed and didn't hold until she feel asleep goes to bed in 15 minutes in her own bed.

Danielle - posted on 03/24/2009

1

7

0

Esther. If it makes you feel better you can try a modified CIO. Go in at intervals and soothe her, but do not pick her up. Just let her know you are still there and calm her down and then leave. Over the course of a few days increase the amount of time between visits.

Sonya- you and your daughter's dad have got to get on the same page. You are right it is confusing her. You said she will fall asleep and then you put her in bed (?). Maybe start by having her fall asleep in her own bed. If she is used to being "put" to sleep instead of self soothing then she likely doesn't know what to do when she wakes at night.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

20 Comments

View replies by

Francesca - posted on 03/25/2009

3

2

0

Quoting Esther:

Thanks guys, I will try to let her cry it out as hard as it may be. I'm just afraid she won't stop crying.



trust me. she WILL stop eventually.



 



the minute you give in to her screaming, will make her relaize that by screamin, she will get what she wants, and you dnt want to see that later on when shes a toddler, and ur in the supermarket.



 



I used to let mine cry...sumtimes up to an hr, i used to go check on her when the crying made her cough, but the rest she HAD to stay there...she has to learn from now that her bedtime is her bedtime, and that mummy and daddy need some quite time also. dont worry she`ll get the hang of it.

Katie - posted on 03/25/2009

17

13

2

i had the same problem with my 14 month old daughter until my partner told me it had to stop because we all were getting tired and not sleeping, i put her in her cot with a winnie the pooh light show and let her cry but went in every 2 mins to lie her back down and it only took 14 mins for her to drift off, i thought it would be alot harder but it was fine and now sleeps from 7pm until 6.30am every night. i know how your feeling as i was the same as you until i made the change and i have seen a big difference in my now 16 month old daughter as she wakes up happy and not grizzly. i hope it helps you, good luck

Sara - posted on 03/25/2009

9,313

50

584

There's a group on Circle of Moms called "Supporters of Dr. Ferber's Method", I would encourage you to go there and take a look at the synopsis the moderator has created of the Ferber method before you try it. I did Ferber and it worked for me, but you should not just leave your baby in the crib to cry until they go to sleep. Ferber suggests a "Progressive Waiting Approach" that entails going in to soothe your child at regular intervals until they go to sleep. Make sure you read up on the method before you try it. Good luck!

Tanya - posted on 03/25/2009

7

0

0

it just takes consistency i know it's tiring but about a week of putting her back and give her her a night light  and tell her big girls sleep in their bed...I hope this helps

[deleted account]

Ester,



Alot of parents talk about he CIO method, but I ofr one am not too keen on that.  Here is just one article on why:  http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/07/05...



I am having hte same struggle with my 9 month old. We were tyring to get him in his crib, tryin got soothe the crying, and only went to him when the crying stepped up a notch to coughing or distress...you'll know the difference. Well...he always went to the distressed cry and I am a big believer in gut feelings and it just didn't feel right to let him get to that point and remain there.  So...sleep won out and he is sleeping in our bed.  Since we have done this we all sleep soundly through the night and because he is at daycare this added bonding, especially in the morning has been amazing.  We'll cross the bridge of getting him to his crib soon enough.  A book that has helped me is Dr. Sear's book The Baby Sleep Book.



Good Luck and do what you feel you need to for your family.



 

Victoria - posted on 03/24/2009

1

14

0

Quoting Danielle:

Esther. If it makes you feel better you can try a modified CIO. Go in at intervals and soothe her, but do not pick her up. Just let her know you are still there and calm her down and then leave. Over the course of a few days increase the amount of time between visits.

Sonya- you and your daughter's dad have got to get on the same page. You are right it is confusing her. You said she will fall asleep and then you put her in bed (?). Maybe start by having her fall asleep in her own bed. If she is used to being "put" to sleep instead of self soothing then she likely doesn't know what to do when she wakes at night.



Hi there.....Toddler Taming is a very good book....we used it for the controlled crying technique and after 2 nights she was sleeping through......we had to put her in her cot when she was nearly asleep thengive her a kiss and say 'night night time to go sleep'  walk out and she immediately started crying,  leave it for 2 minutes then go in and do the same,  next time leave for 4 minutes and then 6 and so on.  It takes around an hour and a half the first night....if she wakes again then start from the beginnig.  You have to be firm in your voice and try not to give eye contact..... she sleeps through from 8.00 til 7.00am now!!!!  GOOD LUCK! xxxxx

Cassandra - posted on 03/24/2009

12

8

0

My son was a really hyper kid and I thought it would be a nightmare to get him to sleep in his own bed. What I did was around seven o clock I would read him a story put him in the bed and sit in the hall. When he got out I would not say a word to him and keep putting him back. Eventually he got bored of doing it and realized it wasnt going to get him anywhere so he stayed in bed and went to sleep. The first night it took almost an hour. The second night it took about 30 min and within four days I never had to fight him again on it. My son is now six and to this day he goes to bed at seven and never gets out.

Trisha - posted on 03/24/2009

2

9

0

Hi there! I'm a mom of three kiddos (12, 5 and2). I have only had this problem for a very brief time and my secret is a book called "On Becoming Baby Wise" By Gary Ezzo. It will help tremedously in all areas especially sleep. You will have the best sleepers as I do If you just take their suggestiond to heart. I few structured days will give you a lifetime of confident sleepers. I also recommend " On Becoming Toddler Wise" as well. Dont delay. The longer you wait the harder the habit is too break. Best to you - Trisha

[deleted account]

We had the same prob. I tried "No Cry Sleep Solution" and MANY other ideas. Unfortunately, none of them worked - until we read Ferber's "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems." We used his method to sleep train our daughter, and it worked like a dream!!! I must warn you: it isn't easy to follow through, but stick it out and stick to the plan. You'll have a marathon sleeper in less than a week.

Sonya - posted on 03/24/2009

3

6

0

I am having this same problem with my daughter except I can be persistant and let her cry but her dad seems to always want to go in and get her. She will fall asleep and I put her in her bed. She stays there sleeping for hours and wakes up wanting to get in bed with me and her dad. What am I to do when her dad won't follow through with the plan? I know in the long run it will work but she is just getting confused when one parent lets her cry and the other runs to comfort her. I know how harsh it may sound but I honestly don't want my child sleeping in the bed with me. She needs to learn to be independent and know that it is ok to sleep in her own bed.

[deleted account]

Don't worry, Esther!  She WILL stop crying, I promise!! 



Plus...it will be waaaaay harder on you than it will be on her.  She will just cry because she is mad!  She isnt hurt!



Keep us posted and Good Luck!  You can do it!  =)

Esther - posted on 03/24/2009

8

37

0

Thanks guys, I will try to let her cry it out as hard as it may be. I'm just afraid she won't stop crying.

Jaclyn - posted on 03/24/2009

11

31

0

I had a hard time with it myself with my son and my husband one night just grabbed my arm and told me to let him cry it out. I did it and it was hard in the beginning because you feel that you should soothe your baby, but eventually he stopped crying and got used to it.

Stevie - posted on 03/24/2009

1,210

42

247

just leave then let her cry it out...try the ferber method idk how well it works on older babies  since mine is 4 months and we probably did it at 3 but it should work  look it up for how to do it and see if it has something for a 1yr old but i would assume it would work the same hope i helped and good luck

Keeley - posted on 03/24/2009

5

1

1

My daughter was the same wayy...you just have to stick with it. Once you put her/him in their crib..you just have to leave them..crying wont hurt them and most likely they will fall asleep eventually. The only time i went into see her is if the cry was starting to make her cough or sounding really bad..and i calmed her down and right back in she went..it took about 1 week..and since then shes now 16 months..goes to bed in her crib at 8 and wakes up at 10 in the morning...you just gotta stick with it..it will work eventuallyy!!!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms