my 11 year old is lazy and when ever i tell him to do something he doesnt want to do,he really argues with me.plus he is addicted to television.what should i do?
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Ariana - posted on 01/29/2013
I would take control of the TV time. If he's addicted to it it could become a very good motivator. If you ask him to do something, and he refuses, he loses his tv time either that day or the next day.
Also if he is argumentative do NOT engage in the argument. So if you say, son (his name of course) go clean your room (or w/e) and he starts arguing, just reply, if you don't clean your room you're going to lose your TV time, if he continues to argue walk away. You could also have it so you give him a time, if the room isn't cleaned by 7oclock (or time of your choice) you lose your tv time and then walk away. Don't nag at him to do it, but at 7 ifhe hasn't cleaned it he loses his television for the next day.
If you're arguing over chores I would also suggest giving him a list of specific chores he's supposed to do and either he's not allowed to watch tv until he's done it, or he loses tvtime if he hasn't done it by a certain time.
Once again do not be pulled into arguments. That is a childs attempt to try and distract you into not making them do what they're supposed to. It gives them control over the situation that they shouldn't have. If you state the rule and walk away, and follow through with the consequences if they don't listen, that is going to work a lot easier than engaging in a pointless argument.
And I agree with Patricia to give lots of praise when he DOES do what he should and does listen. If you ask him to do something and he does tell him what a great listener he is, even if he whined about it but got it done compliment what a good job he did on it. Kids like your praise even if they don't act like it.
Dove - posted on 01/29/2013
Let him know that when he doesn't do what he is asked... he loses tv privileges for the rest of the day (or the next day too if it's close to bedtime). If he wants to argue... he can stay in his room (stripped of any and all fun 'gadgets') until he does what he is asked to do.
Welcome to the world of preteens. Be strong and don't play into the attitude (advice I need to remind myself of as the mother of a preteen girl..lol).
Patricia Ann - posted on 01/29/2013
well for starters take tv time away until he does what he is asked,and let him know that argueing about it isnt going to change it .try to redirect him when he becomes combative...also make things you ask a little more fun and praise him when he does good things,then maybe he will try harder....
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