Sheridan - posted on 09/24/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )
Hi everyone, recently my daughter (who turns 1 in 4 days) has started biting me, and sometimes her dad, but usually only me. She hasn't tried to bite anyone else yet but I'm afraid she'll start.
I don't think she's doing it to be mean and to hurt me but I've tried a few tactics and it hasn't made any difference.
I've tried the calm approach to speaking to her calmly but firmly about how "mummy doesn't like that, don't do it to mummy, it hurts' etc, to the "OWW this REALLY hurts mummy' guilt trip kind of approach, to the getting really mad and raising my voice at her about how 'cross it makes me when you bite'. And so far all she does it look at me while I'm talking, and then promptly go back to bite again. She usually does it whne I'm holding her on my hip, she bites me on the arm. But has been known to come up to me when I'm sitting down and bite me on the thigh. Once she pretended she was going to give me a kiss and when I brought my cheek closer, she bit me on the cheek instead!
Her dad has tried to let her know it's not on either, he's yelled at her and told her no, etc, and she laughed in his face and thought it was all a big hilarious joke. He even went as far as slapping her on the hand (not too hard, and something neither of us have ever done before) and she didn't care, didn't react at all and just completely ignored him.
I've heard the whole 'bite them back' story but I don't want to resort to that, I think that it's teaching her that violence is okay, and will confuse her as to whether or not it is acceptable, because mummy is doing it, so why shouldn't she? I think it would also scare, hurt, and upset her, and I don't want to inflict that on my child.
I know it's a normal part of being a toddler (isn't she starting rather young though?), but for now, I'm covered in bruises on my arms and legs; it REALLY hurts (she's even made me bleed before) and I'm afraid she'll start doing it to others. This behaviour seems to have really come out of nowhere!
Any advice/ideas on how to deal with this?