My 12 year old (almost 13) son watched a porn video.

Chandra - posted on 02/08/2012 ( 87 moms have responded )

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Now I am feeling really broken hearted. He is my youngest, and has always been my "baby". Now, I feel as though I can't look at him the same. I found it on his mp3 player, and I skipped through the 5 minute video enough to see that it was "hard-core". I told him that I know that he is going to be curious about sex, but that this is not what sex is. This video was a threesome, and I told him that girls really don't do this, and that people really don't have sex the way these people were doing it. It is so awkward, and I hate this. I feel as though I can't talk to anyone about this because it seems to me that what I hear the most is that boys will be boys!!!! NO!!!! That is not what I want to hear. Any feedback out there?

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Tara - posted on 02/08/2012

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I think you did well to let him know that you know he is going to be curious about sex, but I think that you made a mistake in telling him that people really don't do threesomes, etc because that is a lie. There are people out there who do threesomes, duos, hardcore, fetish, etc. Just because you are not one of those people does not mean that those people do not exist. I am not into anything like that but I know people who have done things like that and enjoyed it.



What I would suggest is that you explain to your son that porn is actors performing to scripts based on various fantasies and fetishes and that the majority of women (and men) do not behave that way sexually although there are men and women who do enjoy things that are frequently portrayed in porn.



Explain to him your feelings about sex (for example that you feel that sex is best shared between two people in a loving, committed relationship). Be honest with him about the consequences of a sexual relationship (pregnancy, std's, emotional intimacy, and so on), and also explain to him that "no means no" under any circumstances.



If you are honest with your son, and explain things in a calm and nonjudgmental manner you will probably have better luck than letting your uncomfortableness with the subject get in the way of educating your son.



I have found a couple of links with information on books that could be helpful to you with regard to this:

http://answer.rutgers.edu/page/resources...

http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&keywords...



Most of all, please understand that education is power, and the more your son knows, the less likely it is that he will run into problems regarding sex and relationships as he grows older.

Pamela - posted on 02/08/2012

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First of all, do not lie to him as you already have. There are many people who have threesomes and wife/girlfriend/boyfriend swapping, etc., especially in closed private groups. So to tell him that people do not do these kinds of things is not true.



Rather you should have sat down with him and explained that you have certain attitudes about sex and so does his Dad (if you are married) and have a conversation asking questions to see what he knows. He may well have had some introduction to sex education at school. Then have a conversation about what you believe to be healthy sex attitudes and go from there.



This is a very important age and to introduce "there's only one way" is to be dangerous because he will learn that that is not the case. Unfortunately Americans are PRUDES for the most part about our bodies and healthy sexual appetites which is why there is so much subversion going on. When you sweep sex "under the table" as Americans have done, then it elicits these kinds of curiosities.



There are videos and books that discuss sex and show the biological explanations as well as the emotional factors. I know because I purchased just such a tool for my sons back in the 90's.



Get real. Stopped being shocked and reacting in a negative manner. That will do more harm than good. Get some informative materials, watch them with him or let him watch on his own and have an open discussion afterwards where you do not bully him with what your personal attitudes, but offer your beliefs as a guide.

Elfrieda - posted on 02/08/2012

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Oh, too bad. :(



I think you did it right, telling him that it's normal to be curious, but that what he saw isn't what sex is like.

Monique - posted on 02/09/2012

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Porn is extremely addictive, resulting in the same kind of highs as drugs give, and sometimes meaning people need to view worse and worse pictures to get the same stimulation. Do not underestimate the effect this can have on future REAL relationships. See Alisha Neu's message, spot on.

Heather - posted on 02/09/2012

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Be honest with him! My parents were VERY OPEN with me and my younger brother about sex. As a result we were able to talk freely to them about sex, and were able to practice SAFE SEX!!! from day one! As a result I have able to talk to my 14yr old step-daughter about safe sex with her boyfriend. I started talking to her about safe sex when she was 12yrs old. talking to her these past yrs has helped her understand the importance of safe sex, no means no, and that guys hurting her is not acceptable in anyway!



Porn is natural and something a lot of children, not just boys, look at! In all honesty your son most likely looked at "vanilla" (normal) porn and decided that he didn't like it as much as the "hard-core" porn that you found. I know a lot of people who make "hard-core" porn at home and it is not scripted like many people seem to think, the only thing that is planed ahead is a SAFE word, and if one of them says this safe word EVERYTHING STOPS! If your son has decided that this is the type of porn he wants to watch I would explain that to him. If you are not sure about this kind of porn do a little research about it yourself so you can explain to him how this type of sex can be dangerous if its not done right. I openly admit that I am Bi-sexual and that me and my so-to-be-husband will on occasion invite other women into our home for "hard-core" sex (of course the kids are not home when we invite women over) but even alone our sex-life tends to lean to the "hard-core" side of sex. Since we practice this type of lifestyle we tend to be more understanding of the "kinks" other people have, and know that just because you are into something does not mean others are to. Let your son explore his sexual likes and dislikes, he may find that stuff that he likes now he does not like later on.



Talk to him and just understand that he is his own person (yes even at 12yrs old) and hes likes and dislikes in anything may be different then yours and trying to force him to think like you will just push him away from you and make hide things from you. Embrace who he is and know that even if he likes the "hard-core" porn he is and always will be your "baby".

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Heather - posted on 11/04/2012

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13 years old children are weird they are thinking they are growing up and want to see other stuff this is a short comment it might carry 1000 pounds.

Jodi - posted on 02/09/2012

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****MOD WARNING****



This thread is now being locked. Several posts have been deleted for personal attacks and hate speech, despite there being an earlier warning. Given there is a member of this community who cannot behave, it will have to be locked.



Thank you

Jodi

WtCoM Moderator

Heather - posted on 02/09/2012

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I am sorry Penny if you seem to think that my views and my sexuality are wrong.... but I pity you! You will never be truly happy since you seem to need to try and make people feel bad about them selfs but i will tell you this, I know who I am and I am PROUD be me! I will never hide who I am just to make others feel better about them selfs. I guess you never heard of the saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" My life is my own and my family and friends accept me for who I am, since you feel the need to judge people you don't know be prepared for people to the same to you.



I wish you all the best of luck! Especially you Penny since I have a feeling you will need it!

[deleted account]

well clearly Sherri, if the woman who posted this initial question has a problem with her 12 yr old little boy looking at hardcore porn, then she is in the minority along with me and others who have expressed their disgust over such an occurrence and wants to prevent it from happening ever again as best she can going forward. so not always is being in "the majority" a good thing by any means.

Johnny - posted on 02/09/2012

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Respect for the dignity of others and not causing harm to others are important moral tenets. If one can not even meet those basic requirements, it is really hard to take their commentary on moral values with anything but a grain of salt.

Shelley - posted on 02/09/2012

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I have raised 3 sons. We dealt with a similar situation. We approached this from a RESPECT/VALUE perspective. There is zero respect for how God created sex to be, in porn. How did it make them feel to watch it....they felt dirty, yuck. Why? because it simply is NOT right to be involved in stuff like this. Womens bodies are to be respected and valued, not used up like a piece of trash. Likewise, guys bodies. Stick to the basics and stick to the truth. Porn has ruined all to many relationships and more importantly, marriages. To continue to watch this at that age could be dangerous. I bet you will find that your son will honor what you have to say. Ask him what kind of lady he would want to marry someday. One who trashed herself in porn or one who had self respect, dignity and value....

[deleted account]

I totally agree with you Kristy and wish my parents had been as you and the original poster of this question to start this thread, had been or are trying to be! xoxo stay strong and don't give in to the world that would have you believe what Satan and everyone else under his rule want you to believe! xoxo

Michelle - posted on 02/09/2012

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Don't panic. Its normal to be curious, before the internet we had stories, perhaps a book to look at, video is much more real, much more agressive and carries a great impact. Buy him an appropriate book about sex, about relationships. Discuss things with him and get his dad to do the same....he needs his Father's input. Most of all get him to realise females are not objects but people...this is important for his whole life.



He is a raging mass of hormones at the moment and does not want to discuss this with his mum! Most likely his dad may have more success and a good book or two will help. If he has older brothers, get them involved too.



Please think about what you said...I CAN'T LOOK AT HIM THE SAME. Grow up!! He's your son, get over it and stop being precious, he needs you not to react to him in a bad way or he won't share ANYTHING with you in the future, drugs, girls, problems, don't lose him over your own princess mentality. If thats harsh, it was meant to be.



Your son's curiosity is natural, it is no reflection on you! Time to put him first and your sensibilities last. Good luck!

Jewell - posted on 02/09/2012

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I agee with you. I think that he needs to know that things like that on porn are not normal. It is our jobs as parents to raise our kids the right way.

Jewell - posted on 02/09/2012

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I agee with you. I think that he needs to know that things like that on porn are not normal. It is our jobs as parents to raise our kids the right way.

Johnny - posted on 02/09/2012

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Well said Heather. A "perfect world" isn't the same for everyone. Not all people think it is necessary or even desirable to wait until marriage for sex. Not all people prefer to just have two people in their sexual arrangement.



Your son may just be exploring, or he may be developing interests different from those which you hold. That can be really hard to accept, just look at this thread. But that doesn't mean he won't grow up to be an upstanding, happy, well-adjusted young man. Teach him to respect and care for himself and others, he will find his way.

Amy - posted on 02/09/2012

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It's a shame if they don't. It's a natural act and one which, when respected and participated in consensually between two adults, is a great thing. In a perfect world, everyone would wait for marriage but we don't live in a perfect world. The only thing we can do is.prepare and educate our kids so they can learn to have healthy, loving, mutually respectful relationship s as adults, so that they are happy and well adjusted. How one does this prep world is personal to their beliefs and values and, unless the kid is in danger, we should not be judging or calling for the lynchmob.

Johnny - posted on 02/09/2012

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"There may be people without morals that participate in unhealthy sexual behaviors like those mentioned, "



What is it about sex that turns people into such nasty, rude, judgmental hypocrites? I'm thinking they are afraid they might like it.

Amy - posted on 02/09/2012

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Penny, your extremism seems to be in everything, not just sex, as is evidenced in your not so subtly voiced opinions. I am sorry for your background, but it is YOUR background, and does not represent the majority of people. Give us a break, your posts are not helpful. They are preachy, self righteous and beligerent. You lose all credibility when you start insulting others' parenting styles and opinions and just come off looking like a prudish, preaching fanatic. Sorry, but what's good for the goose is good for the gander and if you are going to call people out (however unwarranted) then you deserve a taste of it too. Get off your pedestal, you are not in the majority on this one.

Bodene - posted on 02/09/2012

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personally I think kids know alot more about sex then what you would think! I know when i was that age I certainly did. I think it is very important to have an very open and honest relationship with yoyr kids as early as possible. My boys are 6 & 8 and thry are alrdy asking questions. I tell them the absolute truth no doubts it. Ppl may disaprove, but I know theyl love ya for it and thts the main thing.

Kristy - posted on 02/09/2012

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It sounds to me like you handled it pretty well under the circumstances. The first thing I would do is take away the mp3 player. Period. And a cell phone if it has access to the internet. Pornography can be extremely addictive and can cause problems in the future with having a healthy, loving marriage. There may be people without morals that participate in unhealthy sexual behaviors like those mentioned, but it sounds like this isnt something you agree with and you as the parent have the right and obligation to teach your children morals and the difference between right and wrong. The girls in these vidoes are being exploited and degraded. It is not love, it is lust. Learning the difference is extremely important. Good luck.

Johnny - posted on 02/09/2012

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Actually, perhaps I'd better watch out. I have heard that some people become addicted to drinking water... yikes!

Stifler's - posted on 02/09/2012

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I disagree that porn is an addiction. Some people are addicted to porn, not every person who watches it. Just like people who drink alcohol or go on the pokies.

Johnny - posted on 02/09/2012

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Clearly personal context has eluded you Penny. Many people enjoy a glass of wine with dinner and can easily stop. I used to enjoy one, right now I seem to be preferring sparkling water. Maybe one day I'll go back to wine. We are not all the same. You are making outrageous assumptions about other people's lives based on your own experiences. That is foolhardy.

Jenni - posted on 02/09/2012

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I think the problem is; not that you're disagreeing with her. But *how* you're disagreeing with her. By badgering her, belittling her, being sarcastic and making personal attacks. There is a way to express oneself by discussing the topic and not making personal attacks.

Jennifer - posted on 02/09/2012

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My son did something similar around the same age. He is now almost 14 and I still wonder what he is doing when I'm not there to monitor his behavior. It is frustrating. I was so upset that I very publicly humiliated him (and myself) at the private school he attends by approaching his co-conspirators and their parents after school. Boys do not have to act like that. Raising children with morals is very hard to do in this day and age, especially when his father (we are divorced) has a very lackadaisical attitude toward this very big deal. I can understand your frustration. Good luck with your situation. I know I didn't give answers but maybe just knowing you aren't alone will help.

Katherine - posted on 02/09/2012

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*****ADMIN WARNING*****



There will be no violation of THUMPS, if it continues I am locking this thread. IE: personal attacks.





Katherine

WtCoM

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Jenni - posted on 02/09/2012

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I don't even like wine but that's besides the point. Self-pleasuring in itself is not detrimental to anyone. It's natural, it occurs in nature. If anything it's detrimental, especially for males, not to. It increases hostility to repress.



ADDICTION is. People can become addicted to all sorts of habits. From eating toilet paper, to biting nails to more harmful habits like drugs/alcohol, cutting, etc.



Generally, when someone has an addictive personality if they can't satisfy their addiction with one habit. They will substitute for another. That's why you see recovering alcoholics smoking their brains out and drinking pots full of coffee. I know this from experience sitting in on my grandparents AA meetings as a kid. My grandfather is a retired drug/alcoholic counsellor of a major corporation. So yeah, I've heard all about addiction. Which is what you experienced. Addiction is harmful. The vice in itself doesn't necessarily have to be. SOME people can enjoy it without getting carried away.

Johnny - posted on 02/09/2012

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I am very sorry to hear of all of the trauma you have gone through in your life Penny. You have experience some terrible things and clearly had quite a struggle.



However, that is YOUR experience. It is unique to you and your life.



Not everyone has those same issues. In fact, I would hazard to suggest that the majority of people do not.



I was raised to view sex as a healthy habit that was just part of a normal life. My parents didn't assign all sorts of moral issues to it. They taught me to value myself in all sorts of ways, that I was important and how to love myself. That self-pleasuring isn't mutually exclusive from self-love and self-respect. I was taught always to expect proper treatment from partners and that I always had the right and the obligation to myself to stop any situation that made me uncomfortable, unhappy, unsafe, or unsure. My parents were open with me about these issues.



I started masturbating around age 12. All my life it's been once every few days. I've never felt any compulsion to do it, although sometimes I find that it can be useful if I am having a hard time falling asleep due to stress in other areas of my life. I did look at sexy pictures of boys and read some erotic literature in my teens. But the only pornography I saw was actually a gay porn magazine that my friend and I found in the back alley. A real eye opener that one. But I just assumed that was something some people like doing, and it obviously wasn't for me. I did not lose my virginity until I was 18 with my college boyfriend. I had already been with him for a year and we stayed together for another 4 years. I was raped by another man during that relationship though. Fortunately, my boyfriend was supportive, helpful, and very patient. He helped me recover and rediscover my own sexuality.



After that relationship ended when I was 22, I had a series of boyfriends, sexual encounters, and other forms of relationships. I got something out of all of them. I've always followed what my parents told me about respecting my own feelings and those of others. If someone could not do that with me, they were out of the picture. I had lots of fun, learned lots of things, and enjoyed myself.



I did see porn with my college boyfriend and several after that. Some I liked, some I didn't. I do not particularly get aroused by pornography that objectifies or depersonifies women, so much of the mainstream traditional stuff is just not my bag. In my 20's I probably masturbated once every day or so.



When I was 28 I met my now husband. We've always had a steamy, passionate sex life that leaves me feeling very connected to him. I can tell him anything, and I know he will listen and do the same for me. We've watched porn from time to time, maybe a few times a year. We prefer discussing our fantasies and reading erotic literature together, although, like many men, he likes imagery (this is a biological, evolutionary fact, not some sort of pro-porn bs).



I feel very fortunate in life to have been given the gift of sexuality free from negativity. I'm tired of all of the assumptions people make about masturbation being bad (it is not an inherently negative action, in fact it is considered a healthy behaviour for most people) and pornography (yes, much pornography is objectification, but that is not always the case, reject the objectification not the sex).



It bothers me to see a young man's inappropriate viewing choice while masturbating being blown up into some sort of terrible sex addiction potential. That is just so inappropriate. What one person experiences in their sexual life is not going to be that of all others. We can not tar all with our own life experiences.

Sherri - posted on 02/09/2012

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Well since he shares a room with his brother. It isn't that I know when he does do it just that I know when he doesn't and I can assure you it certainly isn't as often as you tend to believe.



Also just because you have had a bad experience with sex and were introduced to it far too young certainly does not mean that the avg. teen or person has. Obviously your view of what is normal is already skewed because of your past. This is not the same for my family. My kids have never been exposed to anything they shouldn't have been. They didn't even know what sex was until they were 12 yrs old and we had the whole sex talk.



My kids have no desire to date or have sex as of yet. My 15yr old likes a girl in high school and when I asked if he would ask her out, his response was no mom I value our friendship too much to ever want it to change. My kids already value themselves and their friends far more than anything more than that. They are much more into hanging out with friends, school, sports and getting a job so they can work so they can pay to do drivers ed and things they want.

[deleted account]

Who said anything about trying to pick a fight? She said masturbation is normal and I think it isn't. Soooo yeah, Agree to disagree.

Jenni - posted on 02/09/2012

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Penny, I would say the vast majority of teenagers masturbate. I doubt she's checking up on him. She just knows it's a reality. Just because you had issues with your sexuality stemming from abuse doesn't mean *everyone* has issues with theirs just because they masturbate. That's like an alcoholic preaching at me I shouldn't enjoy a glass of wine with my steak dinner because I'll wind up losing my job, my house and passed out in the gutter somewhere. I think you're putting a little too much projection into this post.



Sorry, but I'm getting a little tired of watching you trying to pick a fight with Sherri. If you knew anything about her, you'd see how ridiculous you're being targeting her.

Alexandra - posted on 02/09/2012

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I guess other people mentioned but probably need to install the software that blocks XXX websites on all your computers at home, I wonder if can be installed also on iPhones.

Johnny - posted on 02/09/2012

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"your kid should be evaluated by a therapist to determine why he/she does it so often and if it is the results of molestation or rape. Just sayin', its not natural to be so involved with your sexuality at such a young age...and yes, 15 is still a young enough age to worry about future outcomes!"



Wow. Penny, that is just rude and totally uncalled for. Sexuality is not some dirty, evil thing. A teenage boy or girl learning about how their own body is pleasured through masturbation is an entirely normal, age appropriate part of development. I'm not sure where you get your ideas about sex, but it's rather ironic to hear someone with such twisted ideas suggest therapy for another person. I hope you have not repressed your children to such a great extent that they turn into sexual predators! (see how that feels? not so nice when the tables are turned?)

Sharlene - posted on 02/09/2012

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@ Penny I think you are taking this way out of porition now ,Everyone here has different ways of parenting and yes I think sherri doing a better way with her son doing that then letting him go and have sex in the back seat of a car or somewhere else . My son is 9 yrs old with autism he has started to get feelings so yes I also let my son masterbated ,I that okay with you lol

Johnny - posted on 02/09/2012

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Firstly, not everyone holds prudish American/Biblical based values about sex. For some people, there is nothing wrong with extra-marital and pre-marital sex, with threesomes or some other things you see portrayed in pornography. It is not about sexual addiction or some sort of harmful deviance, it is simply personal choice and it is disrespectful to attach people who happen to have different beliefs than yourself. They may well have healthy, happy relationships that are not what you are used to. You should not participate in behaviours that are outside your comfort zone/value system, but please don't assume your feelings are universally applicable.



While I would agree that viewing hardcore pornography is not appropriate for those under 18, it is far from the end of the world. It is much more important to talk about respect for self and other in the sexual arena, the importance of consent and not doing harm, and self care. If he has a male figure in his life, father or otherwise, it might be helpful for him to talk about it with someone of the same gender. It can admittedly be hard for moms to see their baby boys grow up and develop sexual feelings. Perhaps instead of just reading the riot act about his inappropriate viewing, set some boundaries and make helpful suggestions. Imagery is important to male sexuality far more than it is to women. Perhaps there is a way that he can access sexual imagery that is more "age appropriate" and closer to the value system your family holds.

Sherri - posted on 02/09/2012

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I never said he did it all the time. Not to mention all my kids are in sports, school and have a job. I also never said I give them lube or whatever freakish thing you are into.



I honestly don't know anyone who doesn't masturbate it is a normal healthy release for people. My kids are normal and well adjusted. Also not to mention I am with my kids virtually 24/7 so nope never had any molestation, or rape. Just a normal typical teenage kid.

Diane - posted on 02/09/2012

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Unfortunately it happens to all boys. Thank goodness you are there to help him through it. You sound like a very caring and grounded mom. You have to sit down and talk to him. Explain what a beautiful thing that sex is between 2 married people. It is the expression of their love for each other. Too many people say "boys will be boys", BUT it is important to give them guidance, and help them through it. There was a cartoon that my then young teen liked to watch that was very provocative. So I sat through it one day and it made him uncomfortable. Then we talked about the way the woman was portrayed without much on and the man was always well dressed and didn't show respect to the woman. I asked him if he would like his mother or sister treated in that manner. He never watched it again and I didn't have to tell him he couldn't. Show your son respect and that you respect his judgement in knowing what is right and wrong behavior.

Jenni - posted on 02/09/2012

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I think porn should be reserved for adults with a better understanding of "reality" and "entertainment. If he is curious about sex, discussions and educational videos would be more appropriate.



Not saying it's always possible to monitor a teenage boy. But parental restrictions in the home would be a start. I'm not against porn for adults but definitely for kids/teens. Not something I plan on condoning in my house. If my son wants to take my old Cosmos have at it.... lol



But I'd definitely have a talk about what's "reality" and what's "entertainment." This really goes for any media, not just porn. Music videos, television shows, movies, music. These are all important to discuss with our children on what they are seeing and hearing.

Sherri - posted on 02/09/2012

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I think if we bury our heads in the sand we have problems. Sex isn't only for marriage and masturbating is a normal bodily function that I would rather my teenage kids do then run out and have sex at a young age to relieve sexual tension. I am well aware my 15yr old masturbates and I have to say I am perfectly okay with it as long as it is done in the privacy of his own room.



Am I okay with them watching porn or having sex no but I am more than okay with them masturbating.

Sharlene - posted on 02/09/2012

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I think were all taking this out on porn and this almost tennage boy hes hormorns and sexuality is not being told my the parents , OMG ,my parents told me about sex at the age of 11 yrs old . Crying out loud . If this boy is so interested in porn I would like to know when these parents are going to take responablity and sit down with this almost teenager boy and talk about sex with him .lol

Shakima - posted on 02/09/2012

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Ps I think you did good. Telling him that what he seen is not love making, its the "bad version" of sex. Let him/you sort out the details as he gets older..he needs to know thats NOT the way (now as he gets older and freakier its up to him). Find a male he can talk to (if dads not available)..and dont forget you were a teen once!!!

Ima - posted on 02/09/2012

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I have the same experience and what I did was crying out loud to my son and tell him that I really sad he did. And it works!

[deleted account]

I agree with Monique. My oldes son discovered 1-900-phone sex at 12, watched porn on the computer at 13, I had to install a filter, then he watched it on other peoples computers, then he got his hands on video tapes. We talked to him, yelled at him, punished him, took him to church, had him "counsel" with the youth pastor... You name it, we did it trying to keep him from porn, everything but take him to a professional. He is 25 now and as far as I know he is still additcted to porn. Do not take this lightly, watch your child closely and if he continues to participate in this activity get him some serious counseling before it gets out of hand.

Anna - posted on 02/09/2012

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I don't see calling someone sick as name calling. I do think it is disturbing to allow a 12 year old access to hardcore porn and allowing privacy to masterbate is truly sick.

[deleted account]

Amen Anna Grillot! That's so true, it is definitely destructive to everyone who views it but mostly to someone at such an impressionable age as 12! Kids should get to retain their innocence for as long as humanly possible and for a 12 yr old to be subjected to that (and for people to think it is OK for him to do it as long as it isn't excessive) is just ridiculous in the EXTREME! Porn is cancer...we want to get rid of all cancer, not just a tiny bit and leave some behind to grow into more! Rid him of the ways to view it and restrict who he sees as friends at their homes!

Sherri - posted on 02/09/2012

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Penny if you call one more person on this thread a name I am reporting you. You can not go around attacking peoples posts that you disagree with.



Also I never said it was okay for any child to watch porn you are making things up in your head.

Anna - posted on 02/09/2012

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You are correct! Porn is a destructive force, my husband would watch it, and it ruins a marriage. It gives false expectations for women, and reduces us to sex objects. Threesomes are the same. As far as people doing that, and others condoning it for your child, WOW!! That is not what we want for our kids, it is very unhealthy,

Sherri - posted on 02/09/2012

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Excuse me Penny first off I could report you for the name calling second, I never said she should discuss any of that in detail all I said is she shouldn't lie and say these things aren't real and don't happen in real life because they certainly do.

Meaghan Van - posted on 02/09/2012

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I dont know if this will help, but you can try to make your son watch this... all it is is a bunch of glamour shots (head only) of porn stars who have died...most of them through suicide. It tells how they did it and at the end it has the message "porn is not glamorous". Then explain again that porn is bad, why it is bad. That it objectifies women and that women are so much more than what pornography depicts. Let him see that perhaps the women he is watching will end up killing themselves at the end of the scene, because people watch garbage like this, and there is a market for it. That it makes them cheap and feel empty inside, souless. i dont know... but i think thats how i will handle this matter when my son reaches this age. Our children are growing up too fast in this generation. and they are mature enough to talk to them candidly about this kind of thing... anyways heres the link

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