My 13 year old daughter will not stop stealing. How do I get her to stop?

Alicia - posted on 01/08/2013 ( 14 moms have responded )

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She has been doing this for a couple years now. It's not just change, it's bigger things from her school like phones and gaming systems.

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Ariana - posted on 01/11/2013

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If the punishments haven't worked so far then a therapist is the way to go, maybe family therapy. Obviously she needs some help with her impulses.

Good luck to you!

Keisha - posted on 01/14/2013

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Bottom line is shes keeps doing it because she feels nothing has happen And she can get away with it...yes talk To her ask her does she know that if she gets caught she can go To juvenile hall a jail For kids he age..And see what happens..

Ariana - posted on 01/09/2013

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I agree with Amy that she needs to see a therapist to work out whatever is going on.

And yes what happens to her when she does this? She should, obviously, return the item and try to make restitution to whoever she took it from. If she has an allowance the money she should have gotten for that should go towards paying the person for the amount of the thing she stole. At this age consequences should be given where she cannot use the things she DOES have, like any phones internet television access should be gone when she steals.

There should be consequences whenever this happens. If it's an ongoing problem she really should speak with a therapist, and maybe you could all go to family councelling (on top of her having her own therapist) to work out how you can help keep this from happening.

Amy - posted on 01/08/2013

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Well what have been the consequences been so far for the 2 years she's been doing it? It's been two years and if you haven't been able to stop it I would involve the police. I would also get her a good therapist to find out why she's doing what she's doing.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/16/2014

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You can have charges filed against her, and make sure that she follows through with the consequences.

Mary - posted on 01/16/2014

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I adopted two children 6 years ago. The oldest, a girl, has been stealing anything she could get her hands on since she walked in the door, from us, our neighbors, the school and stores. We take her nowhere. The latest $700 worth of electronics from a little girls locker at school who did not know how to get in and asked for help. She is 11 years old and the school and the parents feel sorry for her so they refuse to press charges so we in turn can not get her into a resident treatment center because we have not police paper trail. Same with when she stole from both the church and the store they wanted to not inflict more trauma on her so they "let it pass". She has destroyed her bedroom and left bruises on me while having fits. It is a battle. My husband and I sleep with our doors locked and we keep anything we do not want stolen behind lock and key. Until she is finely gone from our house we will live in a prison that is what we have determine. We adopted from the county and were not given proper information about the children before adoption had we been given a proper picture it would have been a bigger factor in our decision. She has attachment disorder and we were told she is also detached.

Jessica - posted on 01/16/2013

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As I was once a bad teen sometimes parents don't tell you ''do not steal'' since there your baby in your eyes you assume they know best but they don't and after awhile stealing becomes an addiction or a rush were you have to steal at-lest something everyday and it's not the parents fault cause kids weren't born thief's we became them maybe someone she knew showed her to steal or told her why pay, when you can get it for free but eventually she will get arrested and learn her mistake and feel guilty the day someone steals from here own family . Take her to give everything back she stole cause karma does exists and I have tasted it we all end up paying for all or mistakes never blame yourself parents raise kids right but at the end it's our choice
best of luck

Jacquelyn - posted on 01/16/2013

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I would go to the parents of the students who she stole from and explain to them that you are trying to teach her a lesson. Make your daughter return what she has stolen and let the parent decide if they want to press charges for theft. If they do let them call the police and have them come pick your daughter up right then and there. Don't bail her out right away either. She is going to learn more of a lesson the longer she sits in jail.

Alicia - posted on 01/15/2013

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Thank you Jacqueline. I am having a hard time getting the school system or police to help me show her what the consequences will be but I am pushing hard because I would rather her learn now than later

Jacquelyn - posted on 01/15/2013

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My husband is a deputy sheriff and we live in Missouri. I was telling him about this post and he was telling me that based on what is being stolen, under $500 could be a felony. When I was growing up, my sister started stealing from stores at about the same age as your daughter. When my mom found out that she had stolen something she took my sister up to the store, made her ask for the store manager and return what she had stolen. My mom then talked to the manager and told him that he could call the police and have her arrested for theft. My husband and I both believe that this may help the problem but with coming from a law enforcement background you have a very long road ahead of getting her to turn around, if she decides that is the path that she wants to take. We really hope everything works out for you and we will keep you and your family in our prayers while you work through this.

Jamie - posted on 01/14/2013

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Thankfully my kids are still young and I haven't had to experience this yet, but I would go the tough love route. Next time get the police involved. Make her spend a night or 2 in jail so she can see what's gonna happen if it keeps up. I've seen teens like this already on Maury. Some are worse than her but after a night in jail they are crying for their mammas. Maybe contact the local police department and see if maybe they will help. They may be able to set something up just to scare her. Good luck.

Keisha - posted on 01/14/2013

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Bottom line is shes keeps doing it because she feels nothing has happen And she can get away with it...yes talk To her ask her does she know that if she gets caught she can go To juvenile hall a jail For kids he age..And see what happens..

Sarah - posted on 01/14/2013

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Tell her how much trouble she can get into, as I'm sure you've already done. Maybe ask a police officer to talk to her.... Or contact the school when she comes home with something that doesn't belong to her. Let her know that stealing over $500 is a fellony offense. Felons cannot vote and have a really hard time getting any kind of job. Any stealing will make it hard for her to get a job if she gets caught.

Alicia - posted on 01/10/2013

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I have tried everything I could think of as punishment from taking important things away to extra chores to grounding her. Nothing at all helps at all. Thanks for the advice

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