My 16 year old is being charged as an adult in N. Carolina

Candace - posted on 04/01/2012 ( 35 moms have responded )

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My 16 year old son was visiting his brother in North Carolina for a couple of weeks and met a 15 year old girl. the girl got into an argument with her mother and the mother basically kicked her out for a while. Anyway, my son met up with the girl that night and brought her back to my other sons house to stay because she said she couldn't go home. (my other son wasn't home at the time). Well, the next day the mother called the police to say that her daughter was missing and she believed that her daughter was with my son. The police called my sons cell phone and asked him if the girl was with him and he told them no. About an hour later, my son and the girl came out of the house and the police were waiting for them. My son was arrested on the spot and charged with "contributing to the delinquincy of a minor" (for having her with him) and "resisting a public officer" (for lying to the police officer). Now my son has to go to court and is being charged as an adult.He has no prior record, but I am scared to death that he will be prosecuted on these charges which seem very harsh to me. has anybody else ever had to deal with this? I bailed him out of jail and had him brought back home to Ga. I have to take him back to N. Carolina on the 17th for his court hearing. Is there a chance he can get out of this with a slap on the wrist? I know he shouldn't have lied to the police, but he thought he was protecting the girl from an abusive situation. I don't know. I just don't want him to go to jail. please help.

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Amy - posted on 04/02/2012

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Oh, yeah, one more thing. I know Christina Wannamaker, above, said to have him write a letter of apology for lying to the police...while this sounds good in a moral sense, absolutely do not do this. It would serve as a written admission of guilt in one of the crimes he is being charged with.

Heather - posted on 04/02/2012

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NC is messed up with the way its officers handle things, They just wanna put people in jail. Get the BEST lawyer you can get.



My husband is currently in jail (in NC) and labeled as a sex offender cuz our daughter was raped my his step father (who is military and they dont wanna bring him back to charge him) and cuz our kids have walked in on him going to the bathroom (the kids open the doors when they need us) According to NC being a good person accused of a bad thing makes you guilty nomatter what ANYONE says!

Amy - posted on 04/02/2012

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Get a lawyer!!! Being Air Force, I can tell you that the legal office can give you great advice, but they cannot represent you in a civilian court. A few years ago we hired a lawyer for an issue my brother encountered and it is not as bad as you think. The fee was $2000, we paid in installments. I think we paid about $600 up front (on a credit card) because that is what we could afford, and then we paid $200 a month until it was paid off. He paid me back over the course of about 2 years and has always been grateful for the choices we made. He has nothing on his record and never will. It sounds like a lot to some people, but the reality is this...is your son's promising potential future worth $2000-$3000 (And it might not be that much for you). On a credit card or payments or both....the future is so worth it.



I once heard that the mistakes we make as young people are important because they help us to avoid the same mistakes at higher costs as adults. Don't let this be paid out over his lifetime in difficulty getting jobs or lower wages because of a criminal record. Set him up on a payment plan to pay you back for it and teach him that good judgement is valuable and cost much less than bad judgement.

Laura - posted on 04/04/2012

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The reason it is listed as kidnapping is because at 15 she can be there "of her on free will"

Julie - posted on 04/04/2012

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Let your son reap what he has sewn NOW while he is still young.



He should not have lied to the Law - that is major ...



He should not have housed this girl overnight ... Picture being her mother and what all went through her head - kidnap, rape, possibly murder.



Your son made soem big mistakes but because he has no prior offenses he should be fine. An apology to the Judge/Court would be a big step in admitting his guilt -



One always gets in far less trouble being honest than lying -



I know this is a hard one, but it is small incomparison to what might lie down the road ... let him reap the small consequences now and spare him the big ones later on, right?

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Gisel - posted on 07/11/2013

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Oh, thank God! That was so unfair to begin with. Sooo glad it worked out . God bless!

Candace - posted on 07/11/2013

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@ Gisel: Well, we got a public defender and they lessened the charge against my son. all he was made to do is 60 hrs. of community service, which he did at our local church. Praise God! :)

Candace - posted on 04/11/2012

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well, according to the constitution of the United States...I found that the police violated several of my sons rights on the day that they arrested him. They also never notified me that he was taken into custody and he was fingerprinted and photographed without our consent. I have researched the Constitution of North Carolina and found that they also didn't run things according to their own laws. I am going to fight this with every ounce of my being. Please pray that the charges be dropped or they will have a lawsuit on their hands. I am requesting a jury trial which is our constitutional right as an american citizen. God's will be done!

Candace - posted on 04/07/2012

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Julie...You don't understand. If I don't fight the charges, my son will be put in an adult jail for years to come! He did NOT kidnap his girlfriend. The charges brought against him are ridiculous! I read the "warrant for arrest" which was in fact written AFTER he was arrested and the policemans account of the situation a was completely innaccurate. The policeman said that my son went to a school and "removed" the girl from the school without her mothers knowledge. He if fact did NOT remove her from anywhere. He went to meet her at a dance, and she was NOT there. He then walked back to his brothers house ALONE and when he arrived at the house, the girl was there waiting for him. they then went inside the house and watched movies. When the police arrived, they surrounded the home and demanded that my son open the door. He did. they then asked if th girl was inside of th home and he lied and told them no. The policeman then told my son that if the girk was in fact insid eof the home, he would be charged with kidnapping. She (the girl) hearing that, came out of the house and my son was immediately arrested. the mother decided NOT to press charges. It is the policeman who is actually saying that the girl waws kidnapped by my son, NOT the mother. How can he get away with this? according to the paperwork, there is NO injured party. I have to fight this to protect my son from a wicked justice system!

Jodie - posted on 04/06/2012

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That pathetic!!! This is why I would never ever go to America, let alone live there because the laws are really stupid. The girl obviously went to your son's house and stayed there willingly so what's the problem? I'd set up a petition if I were you.

Sally - posted on 04/05/2012

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If you believe in your son support him in every way you can. This will be a very hard lesson, sadly teaching to be careful of who he helps. This one case of bad judgement forr the right reasons. Is a very harsh lesson for him to learn, try to make sure that the outcome doesn't affect his whole life. My thoughts are with you. Please keep us informed as to how things are going. X

Heather - posted on 04/05/2012

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Julie in NC they tend to OVER REACT!!!! my husband was sent to prison and labeled a SEX OFFENDER when our daughter was raped BY MY HUSBANDS STEP FATHER!!!! There is evidence against my husbands stepfather and NC is just to lazy to bring him to NC to be tried since he is now in the ARMY and was sent over-seas! My daughter was 4yrs old, she was raped by her "grandfather" and now her daddy is in prison for something he didn't do. Don't give advise on a subject you know nothing about when your actions could a hurt a child!

Sally - posted on 04/04/2012

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Julie are you nuts. Her son helped someone he thought was being hurt. How do you know the girl didn't beg and cry for him to lie. He was trying to do his best. Imo its her mother and their relationship that needs to be questioned.

Rosemary - posted on 04/03/2012

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You need a local lawyer who knows what's going on in that area of North Carolina. Your son is in a very dangerous situation. Don't try to handle this by yourself. Get your own lawyer. Court appointed lawyers don't help much especially for non local boys.

Carolyn - posted on 04/03/2012

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First of all, let me just say for my Family and I, our hearts go out to you and your family. By just hearing the situation I do believe that things will work out in your favor with your Son. I realize that things are very grim now,but if you keep the faith it will work out in the end. I was just reading all the wonderful advice given to you by the people. Some have gone through the same thing or have known others who have gone through the same situation. I think that is why God tells us to pray for others because we don't know when we may need them. Take in all the advice that is given and ask God for the best answer. We will keep you all in our prayers... Praying that God will keep you in His Favor.

Lanelle - posted on 04/03/2012

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I'm sorry ..it doesn't sound so good. I live in California, so I am not sure of how similar, or different the laws work over there. States do vary in some cases. I hope all goes well for you both!! Stick with your plan,for sure...almost all of the advice I've read so far..I agree with. I wish you well and will be praying for you and your son!

Lanelle - posted on 04/03/2012

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I'm sorry ..it doesn't sound so good. I live in California, so I am not sure of how similar, or different the laws work over there. States do vary in some cases. I hope all goes well for you both!! Stick with your plan,for sure...almost all of the advice I've read so far..I agree with. I wish you well and will be praying for you and your son!

Donna - posted on 04/03/2012

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Get a Lawyer ASAP!!!!!! Believe me you can't always think justice will prevail. Small town and their police departments can be horrible. I live in NC I know. Please don't make your son go in there without a lawyer no matter what!

Susan - posted on 04/02/2012

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we lived in wisconsin and am pretty sure the systems run the same from what I have seen throughout the US these past few years

Susan - posted on 04/02/2012

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once they get him into the court system it is real hard to get him out I would say get him a good lawyer its about the only chance he has if you go there with him on your own and have a court appointed attorney he is more than likely going to have to serve time because they believe they are catching a criminal before he has done much damage once they are put on paper they can't even hang around there own little sisters without supervision just what I had to put up with

Mahealani - posted on 04/02/2012

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I live in NC and I know how screwed up when it comes to handling anything a MINOR between 15-17 is. They rush to have them tried as an adult so they can get harsher sentences, which in my PO, is silly. Part of it is also a scare tactic. Stay calm, get the best lawyer you can (and make sure you investigate them before hiring them). My brother is in jail due to this screwed up system and I can tell you to definitely fight it, but make sure you also inform yourself about the possibilities of the situation. Get a copy of the police report and investigate what each charge means and what the punishments can be. NEVER sign anything without reading it thoroughly, even if the lawyer is sitting there. (My brother's lawyer was crap-tastic in every way - he even out right lied to my family about a number of things). Trust me, making people wait until you fully understand a document can save you a HUGE heartache and stress. There is power of the written word when it comes to the law. I wouldn't have your son write the note, as Amy said. It admits guilt and you don't want to do that. He's 16, but even at 16, you do stupid things and get too nervous to do the right thing sometimes. Just stand behind him, get a good lawyer, and go fight. Most of all, pay attention to every detail and don't let any of the people involved make you feel intimidated. I hope it all works out for you both!

Amy - posted on 04/02/2012

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A public defender, BTW, is not the same and will never get the same results. My brother would have been without his driver's license for 2 years without the lawyer. And all he had to do to keep it was file a form requesting that my brother's license not be automatically suspended until the hearing/trial took place, but that form had to be filed within 10 days of the incident by an attorney. No Public defender is assigned until the case has a hearing date. That was over 2 years later.



Probation is not the same thing...it is still on your record....yes it is better than jail time, but chances are that with even a semi-decent attorney there will be nothing on his record!

Christina - posted on 04/02/2012

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Tel him to write a later of an apology to the police for lying& have it ready to give to the crown.. Speak to your lawyer before hand to see what he can do (like advice) to get this handled with just a slap on the wrist... Your boy will likly get probation for a year maybe less... But when he goes to court tell him to wear dress pants & dress shirt & a tie... Show remorse, and show respect to the courts....... This all helped with my boy who was in a simular situation... He got 8 months probation...

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/02/2012

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Definitely keep us posted. If you have Jag on your side, it will surely go away quickly! Good luck!

Candace - posted on 04/02/2012

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thank you all for your support and advice. my husband is active duty army and I'm going to go to the Jag/legal office here to see if maybe they can help us. I was told that I can sue the sheriff's office for not allowing my son his legal rights. They never contacted us to let us know he was even in jail. I also found out that they had no right to fingerprint or photograph him without my being present and giving them consent being that he is still a minor. The police handled this situation illegally and the charges against him are false. It's ridiculous that they can get away with this. Legal council is definitely needed to make sure my son receives a fair trial. I'll keep you posted on the progress of this situation.

Kylie - posted on 04/02/2012

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I agree with everyone else Get the best lawyer you can get. Secondly if your son geniunely believes and was told by the girl that her mother was abusive maybe you should make an anonymous report of his to child services in Nth Carolina, at least then that possibility is easier explored in the court. Also if your son is still in touch and on good terms with the girl maybe she might be able to write a letter disputing the kidnapping, as she came of her own free will, you may even be able to get her onside if she gives on-stand testimony, though that depends how scared of her mother she is. However, before trying any of these things discuss with the lawyer first to make sure that it won't prejudice your son's case. There is always the possibility of the case being thrown out of court on a technicality as they did not read him his rights before arrest, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the judge will believe him if the officers say different. Get a lawyer you'll need one.

Candace - posted on 04/02/2012

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I read the police report after this post and it said that my son is being charged with kidnapping because he lied to the police about the girl being there. she was there of her own free will. Can they do this?

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Stay calm and get a great lawyer. If they didn't read him his rights then a lawyer might be able to get the whole case thrown out on a technicality.



Good luck! Remind your son to also stay calm no matter what is said about him too.

Alcia - posted on 04/02/2012

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Well with him not being read his rights or told what he was charge with. It might get throw out of jail. Just stay calm n be by his side. I have been there n done that. Pray n ask God to be with you.

Candace - posted on 04/01/2012

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They did not have sex, and my son told me that he was never read his rights, nor did the arresting officer tell him what the charges against him were. The paperwork they gave my son calls her a "victim" in the case against him. They are making it look as if my son kidnapped the girl. Wth?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/01/2012

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Get a GREAT lawyer. Did they have sex? Cause you need to look into the laws of statutory rape, and all the charges they are holding against him. Calmly ask him, and do not get mad at him if he has had sex with her. But if she tells her mother they have, they may charge him for that also, which means if prosecuted he will be on sex offenders lists for the rest of his days. Good luck. Find a great lawyer, money cannot be a problem for something like this.

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