My 2 year old is too clingy, How do I stop it?

Dawn - posted on 02/16/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My daughter is almost 2. She is very clingy to me and my husband ( her dad), so clingy that she refuses to sleep in her own bed. I stay home during the day and work at night. I rarely see my husband and when Ido see him, she screams every time he tries to hug me. How can I help my daughter understand that she does not need to feel jealous and help her to sleep in her own bed.? I feel that it might be interfering in my marriage because we can never agree on how to care for or what is best for our daughter.

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Cheryl - posted on 02/16/2009

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My daughter is 12 now and I had the same problem when she that age.  I always gave in- as far as going into her room when she would scream or try to climb the baby gate (she was out of her crib when she was 1 because she would jump out of it)  My husband always said I was doing the wrong thing and to let her scream herself to sleep.  All i can really contribute to your problem is that I do believe the only way to stop this cycle is to not give her the option and she HAS to be in her own room.....and wait it out.  And you and your husband can each give her a small stuffed animal, blanket or something that is "special" only for when shes in her bed.....sorry can't come up with more.   Good Luck....But for all of the "super nanny" shows I've seen I think your only option is to be firm.

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Anet - posted on 02/17/2009

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You are going to burn yourself out! Had a similar situation with our youngest. Slept in our room, in our bed, and then went 3 weeks without sleeping at all!!!!!He was 10 months old at that time...



Hope some of the following helps:

1. Get somebody outside of the house to baby sit. Spend time with hubby to talk about daughter and make rules.

2. Get baby sitter to look after her - as she is old enough to realise that she can manipulate you - and go on a date with hubby, or have your hair done.

3. Move her to her own room. She has to go to sleep in her own bed. When she wakes, see to her needs, and put her back into her own bed. You and hubby have to be strict, but if the 2 of you are not consistent she will win the power struggle.



Unfortunately this is the hardest part of parenthood. You have to be tough and cruel for their own good and believe me (our boys are 11 and 6) they WILL THANK YOU SOME DAY!!!!



Good luck!

Maggie - posted on 02/17/2009

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Lots of people don't like to sleep alone. My thoughts are if you meet her needs now and keep her close, this stage will pass and she will have the confidence to become more independent. Not right away, of course, but in time. Could she start out in your bed and you could transfer her to her own bed after she's fallen asleep? What about having a small mattress right next to your bed? Or lying with her until she falls asleep in her bed? Just some ideas. :)

Dawn - posted on 02/16/2009

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Quoting Cheryl:



My daughter is 12 now and I had the same problem when she that age.  I always gave in- as far as going into her room when she would scream or try to climb the baby gate (she was out of her crib when she was 1 because she would jump out of it)  My husband always said I was doing the wrong thing and to let her scream herself to sleep.  All i can really contribute to your problem is that I do believe the only way to stop this cycle is to not give her the option and she HAS to be in her own room.....and wait it out.  And you and your husband can each give her a small stuffed animal, blanket or something that is "special" only for when shes in her bed.....sorry can't come up with more.   Good Luck....But for all of the "super nanny" shows I've seen I think your only option is to be firm.






I have tried to be firm with her. Sometimes it does work and she  sleeps in her room. But I work at night so 2 nights out of the week I am home and can contribute to the night time routine. My husband usually gives up and then my daughter sleeps in our bed.  She does have a " friend to sleep with and a blanket, but still wants our bed where she is not alone.



When I get home at 5am after working overnight, I am exhausted and barely get sleep with a little foot in my back. I spend all day with her and then work all night. so my sleep pattern is basically 2-4 hours a day at maximum.



 



Thanks for the advice though.

Amber - posted on 02/16/2009

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My daughter does the same thing but only with me.You might try if you are holding her have your hubby give both of you a hug at the same time and visa versa.might work might just be a starting point. hope that it helps.

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