my 21/2 year old really dislikes her daddy, this is making him very sad. what should i do?

Holli - posted on 04/09/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

4

13

0

she wont let him do anything to help me out, won't hug or kiss him when he gets home, doesn't even want him to play with her. Just yells "mamma do it!!"

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

My 3 year old occasionally tries to do this. For instance, Dad will be getting him breakfast and he turns to me and says, "No Daddy, Mommy do it!" The bottem line is, we don't allow this behavior. The kids aren't in charge, and anything Mom can do Dad can do. When my son tries to pull his "I want mommey tantrum," I look at my 3-year old and firmly tell him he's not the boss and Daddy will be getting his breakfast (or whatever it happens to be). Does this make him mad? Sure, but he gets over it.

Andrea - posted on 04/09/2009

2

36

0

My boys get like that when their Daddy has to work alot. What we do is when he is off, I send them to the park, zoo, or running errands for a couple of hours. It helps when the have missed him, or just allows them to have quality time with out me being there. I suggest, that at first, take your little family to the park, (take 2 cars if necessary), be there, but slowly back off to let her daddy take over the play time, until you are sure you can leave without causing a scene. Or just send them to the store together, even for a few minutes it is slowly getthing her used to daddy again, and soon you won't have any problems!

John - posted on 02/09/2014

11

0

1

Yes indeed. I have the same issue with my 2 1/2 year old daughter. 95% of the time, she only wants mommy. Unfortunately for her, 95%, I don't care what my daughter says. :P She's NOT the boss, I am, and her requests are preposterous. My lady forgets that a lot, it seems. Parenting is far too indulgent, these days.

Are there times where I humor this behavior? Of course. But usually with my daughter, I'm firm, patient, and NEUTRAL. Neutral is key. Example: last night she woke up, screaming for a bottle. I went to the room. Usually mama does this. She sees me and the eyes dilate; I know on some levels she realizes that when I show up, things are serious and there will be no BS.

Her: [crying stops, quiet voice]: I want baba from mommy
Me: Mommy is sleeping. I'll get you a baba or you go to bed. Pick. [Key here is that my tone wasn't bossy or forceful. More like she could choose]
Her: [pause] ok you get me baba

Not a big deal.

Julieanna - posted on 04/09/2009

8

7

0

Almost all tots do this at some point.at least the little girls. They all go through phases where they either want to be only with daddy or only mommy. Its normal, especially if she sees one parent more than the other. She definitely needs to have some daddy dates. Its a good way for them to bond and for you to get out of the house. But it really needs to be a constant thing. kids respond to consistency. The more time they spend together the more she will bond to him. Even if she doesn't take to the idea well the first couple times, she will get used to it eventually and than come to expect it, and be more willing to listen to Dad. Or if nothing else, these alone times will atleast make Daddy feel better about their relationship, and let your daughter know that there is someone else in charge besides mommy. Just remember that it really is a phase, and probably soon she'll get thru it, and maybe even become a daddy's girl! Just remember that nothing changes over night. It'll take time, no matter what advice you choose to take.

Tiffany - posted on 04/09/2009

118

6

37

Quoting Jennifer:

My 3 year old occasionally tries to do this. For instance, Dad will be getting him breakfast and he turns to me and says, "No Daddy, Mommy do it!" The bottem line is, we don't allow this behavior. The kids aren't in charge, and anything Mom can do Dad can do. When my son tries to pull his "I want mommey tantrum," I look at my 3-year old and firmly tell him he's not the boss and Daddy will be getting his breakfast (or whatever it happens to be). Does this make him mad? Sure, but he gets over it.



That is what I was saying in my post, we do not accept that type of behavior, if they can treat dad that way they will treat others that way too!!! Great post!!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

16 Comments

View replies by

Lauren - posted on 12/03/2013

1

0

0

my daughter is exactly the same at the moment its gone on for a few months but now were both at our limit of waiting for the "phase" to end its so draining on me and ots upsetting daddy so much. I have read all the commenta and they seem so helpful with positive feedback. I shall try 'daddy dates' even if it is just me taking a slow walk to the shop to begin with. I really cant handle this any more and what makes it so frustrating is she is so clever but every time I try to explain she just shuts off, wont listen, ends up being naughty and put in the naughty corner.

Michelle - posted on 04/09/2009

15

27

2

my 3 year olddaughter is clingy for me and alot of the time it' mummy do it, we sat down and explained that daddy has to help sometimes, it doesn't help that my husband works away alot at weekends - so it's always me and her, we let daddy take her swimming by himself when he's home and i try to take my self out sometimes for a day, it gives me, me time and helps to build a bond with them. Things are better and she's fine when i'm not there but still wants me to do things for her when i am. I'm sure it's just an age thing, and will come a time when only daddy will do, keep up daddy dates, it will benefit you all, will build the bond with dad and daughter and all give you 'me time' which is good to.

Holli - posted on 04/09/2009

4

13

0

thanx to everyone's helpful hints. we decided last night to do a daddy date. i really wanted this advice to show my husband. he's been told this is normal but he just thinks its alot worse than anyone elses lovely little two year olds. i try to remind him shes just two and it will pass but he don't really understand. i'll have him read these later, thanks!!!!

Andrea - posted on 04/09/2009

2

36

0

My boys get like that when their Daddy has to work alot. What we do is when he is off, I send them to the park, zoo, or running errands for a couple of hours. It helps when the have missed him, or just allows them to have quality time with out me being there. I suggest, that at first, take your little family to the park, (take 2 cars if necessary), be there, but slowly back off to let her daddy take over the play time, until you are sure you can leave without causing a scene. Or just send them to the store together, even for a few minutes it is slowly getthing her used to daddy again, and soon you won't have any problems!

[deleted account]

Have you ever left the house and let daddy babysit? It will give them some one on one time and you won't be around to do for her.

Kristi - posted on 04/09/2009

20

15

1

none of my kids ever did that. but yiu may want to try just leaving the house for a few hours & let the two of them have some alone time.

Holli - posted on 04/09/2009

4

13

0

he's gonna try the special date thing with her probally go to the park. but now she's crying she doesnt want to go with daddy. i understand this is just a phase but daddy doesn't really understand. when they are alone together everything is fine like there is no prob. but the second i get home she starts back in again. i think i really need to get back to work or school or anythings to give her a break from me.

Tiffany - posted on 04/09/2009

118

6

37

Quoting Stacey:



my daughter went through a stage of not wanting daddy to do anything, i found that spending time with dady alone helped alot, let your husband go to the park alone with her, or you go out while he stays at home with her to play games with her or even just to bath her,if your there she will refuse to let daddy help! she will soon realise that if your busy she still has daddy to play with!  hope this helps!






I agree!!!!!

Stacey - posted on 04/09/2009

29

18

12

my daughter went through a stage of not wanting daddy to do anything, i found that spending time with dady alone helped alot, let your husband go to the park alone with her, or you go out while he stays at home with her to play games with her or even just to bath her,if your there she will refuse to let daddy help! she will soon realise that if your busy she still has daddy to play with!  hope this helps!

Tiffany - posted on 04/09/2009

118

6

37

I actually sent out another reply simular to this, my daughter(same age 2 1/2) has simular behavior, and if she wont hug or kiss her daddy, I say to her that she is hurting daddys feelings and will make him cry(and sometimes my husband will pretend to cry) and then I will give him a hug or kiss and tell him its ok and ask her to do the same, she does have to know that she cant treat people this way because it is hurtful, and maybe a bit stressful on you cause you have to do everything, I try not to take it too seriously and make it some what a game, it is probably a phase! my daughter is starting to get better with her dad its been a couple months since this behavior started and if she starts saying no to her dad I just simply say, you dont treat daddy that way or be nice to daddy he loves you, or poor daddy!!! and hug him, hope its helpful....... I can only imagine how the daddys feel, eventhough like i said its probably a phase!! Best of luck!

Chrissy - posted on 04/09/2009

67

19

16

She doesn't want to play with him?? Have the 3 of you all try to play together or if you can take her to the park and you both should interact with her. I don't know what else to tell you. My son doesn't do that and my daughter is only 3 mo. Good luck!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms