My 3 year old son has started throwing horrible fits, how do i deal with him like that?

Mindy - posted on 02/21/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My son just turned 3 in dec. He has now taken to throwing full fledged fits. He throws him self down, kicks and hits and screams. (the whole bit) I have put him in time out for it, ignored him when he acts that way, tried talking to him and even bribing him.... Nothing works!!!!!!! I don't know how to help him get through this and i really want to. He will throw a fit if you make him share with his baby sister, don't give him what he wants ect...... How should i handle him when he is like that? and How do i help him learn a better way to act?

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Brianne - posted on 02/23/2010

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My kids are 3,2,1, and 5 months so we know all about fits!lol..My oldestis very sensitive,he throws tantrums when he feels left out.he gets disciplined while being bad but when he is good i make it a point to really make a big deal with cuddles and praise.my 2yr old was throwing TERRIBLE tantrums and here we discovered he understood what was said to him but couldn't articulate his wants and needs verbally. we got him speech therapy and in 3 months he was released and no more fits. most counties will send someone to your house for free if the dr. gives you a script for it.Hope this helps. let me know what you find out!

BRI

Mindy - posted on 02/22/2010

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thank you all. and i do put him in his room and he gets time outs. im so afraid that he is going to hurt himself and so i watch him, i will keep trying it the way you all suggested and the way that im comfortable with. thank you all. truly, i really needed the advise you all gave. thanks.

Gwen - posted on 02/22/2010

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Put him in his room and walk away. Tell him he can come out when he's ready to be nice.

Diana - posted on 02/22/2010

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Hang in there --- It WILL get better. But every year will bring on new challenges. Every new year will have you questioning if you are a good mom, too. But every year will bring new joys as well. I'm a grandma now. I had 2 kids, 2 years apart, so I had the "stereo tantrums", too. Its really hard to get through that, but I just found that nothing but ignoring it for like a week straight worked.
If you follow your instincts, you'll probably do fine. This website seems to give great advice, too. And remember - the joys of being a mom will always outweigh the trials. He will outgrow this.

Mindy - posted on 02/22/2010

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i really thank you all. i really felt like it was all me and i had some how done something wrong. I don't want to see him so upset, but i also cant allow him to behave badly like that. If i catch him before it gets out of hand i don't really have to worry except for the screaming, but if i ignore him before then, he grabs me and hits me and then we have a whole new situation. i just really need to know does it ever really get better? because now i see my 1 year old trying to do that same behavior. so i usually have 2 screaming in time out... lol thank you all again. i appreciate it dearly

Diana - posted on 02/21/2010

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When it happened to me, I just consistently ignored the situation. At first, I ignored it one day, but a day or two later I gave in, and that just negated what I had done before. When you ignore tantrums, you have to ignore them for about a week for it to take effect. Your child has to learn that his screams get no reaction, therefore it's a waste of his time.

Katherine - posted on 02/21/2010

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My daughter used to throw the most horrific tantrums, throwing herself back it seemed for the purpose of hurting herself. Now at 6 she can still throw the most wild tantrums. I have found that these happen at times that she is having trouble comunicating her feelings and desires. ie. if i took a toy she grabbed from her sister away, she would only understand that she wanted that toy and now she cant have it. The why she would never understand till after she calmed down.
1 Calm the situation down, I have to put my daughter in time out till she calms down. because she feeds off the attention the sceeming gets her.
2 Have them explain what it is that they want or is frustrating them,
3 Explain carfully what they can have or how things are going to go. If my daughter gets upset at this stage we have to start over agian. as nothing gets through when she is upset.
I have found that bribbing children often makes them worse, finding that pulling fit=treat/ candy etc. But that does not mean that if they are good you can not say "I have noticed how good youve been I would like to reward you with this..."

Mindy - posted on 02/21/2010

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i have tried that and he grabs my legs and pulls at my pants and then when i leave the room and tell him that i will only talk to him when he stops it, he follows me. i want to cry sometimes from him doing it. they are becoming more frequent now and i try to keep my sanity. but i will keep trying it, so thank you.

Kathy - posted on 02/21/2010

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The best thing I have done is just ignore. It is so hard but I won't even look at my child when he does that. He rarely goes all out anymore but he used to do the crazy ones like that. Ughhh so annoying and just tiring. Good luck and I really hope he grows out of this phase fast!

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