My 4 year old is having a hard time at school.

Keekee - posted on 11/09/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My son is in Pre-K and having a horrible time listening to his teacher. Last year whil in Head Start there weren't any problems at all but now that he's in a regular school setting, he's driving his teacher crazy. At first I thought it was him having to readjust to a new school and new teacher but that's not it. I've tried several different punishments ( taking away the TV for the evening, no games, going to bed early, time-out, not allowing him to go the store with me and my daughter, etc) but nothing works. I watched his class a few times without him knowing I was watching and I noticed that it's not just him, there's a number of children doing their own thing but she makes it seem sometime that my son is the worse. I'm not depending him totally because if he knows better and knows he's suppose to listen and follow directions my concern is why isn't he and why doesn't he see her as an authority figure. He tries little things at home but what child doesn't try their parents from time to time but he's not this stubborn or opositional difiant with me or anyone else. I'm currently waiting for the counselor and school pshychiatrist to call me so I can get some ideas from them. I'm even looking for a martial arts class to put him in to help with the disapline and diverting his energy somewhere else, but i'm running out of ideas.

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I found with my 4yr old son that punishment sometimes works but what always works is praise. I had to switch gears with him when it came to school. At first he wasn't listening and following direction but once I switched to praising him every time he got it right he was eager to follow direction. i am very lucky for the wonderful teachers he has and the program he is involved with. There is no time out. They get a brief and simple explanation of why they should or should not do something. Then we celebrate when he behaves the right way. It works. Your son may not respect her as an authority figure simply because he does not like her. If she is put off by him, he can sense that and chooses not to try and please her. I think there is fault with the teacher here as well. He's four. He's trying to figure out how to control all these emotions. Her main job as a pre-k teacher is to help the kids adjust to a school format. It's not so much about learning ABC's. Toddlers aim to please and thrive on getting adults approval. We just had parent/teacher conferences last night and he is doing amazing in all areas now. my son's teacher said that kids like him are the reason she became a teacher. what a total turn around. i wish you the best of luck.

Christy - posted on 11/10/2010

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My son is in PreK (he's 3) and his teacher says he has issues listening and following directions, too. He does it with me, I have to ask him 3 times to do something and MAYBE he will do it. If my husband asks him to do something, he does it on the first request! I think my son and yours are testing the teachers, and us. My son loves anything Disney Cars, so if I have to repeat myself, I take one car away for each episode of not listening. I put it where he can see if but can't reach it. He will then magically listen and do what I ask. I give it back once he completes the task, and if he still doesn't, I keep it the rest of the day. I have ended up at times with quite a collection. I dunno if it's really working that well over the long haul, though. The teacher can't do this as he can't bring toys to school so she puts him in time out (which doesn't work at home so I am sure it doesn't at school, either)!

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