my 4 year old is suddenly scared of everything..

Vikki - posted on 04/02/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )

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my 4 yr old is suddenly scared of everthing...this is new to her and to me.. Iam hoping this is just a phase... I think it started with a picture she saw, and now she is scared of everything, even music! soft slow songs, faces that look (to her) scary, the word dieing and other stuff too! please please help! she was never like this before...

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Kelly - posted on 04/03/2010

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My daughter started about 4 too. It really was a hard time for her. They are in the in between stage of not being a big kid and not being a little kid anymore. She want to go on to be more independent, yet it was scary becoming aware of all the other things around her. We spent a lot of time talking about everything. Why did something scare her, then we talk about facts, or I would try to find some tool to empower her over what was frighting her. She outgrew a lot of it, (7 now) but still some of her fears are there, mostly the big stuff, tornados, fire drills, and the bane of my existence, sensor toilets. Just try to be patient ( I know I sometimes forget especially in some cramped stall) I am sure your already doing it, but just let her know that you are there for her and its ok to be scared. What helped us was that I would try to really clue into her fears before she did. Example, if you see something that she might find scary like a picture, start off by going wow thats silly looking. I also got really good warning her of sounds, oh the tea kettle is about to blow. Hopefully the worst of it will move on fast. Best wishes to both of you.

Lise - posted on 10/31/2010

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My four year old did the same thing. She was always brave and now she freaks out over the simplest things. I can't offer any advise but I sure am glad I'm not the only one going through this :)

Kris - posted on 04/03/2010

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My kids went through this too. I did basically the same thing as the other posters.I did/do my best to make them feel secure, give them as much knowledge/facts as I can, warn them when possible, and let myself off them hook when I forget or get tired!

Good luck ...you are not alone and you have done nothing wrong!

Amy - posted on 04/02/2010

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My son went through a stage like that when he was around the same age, but not quite as severe :( He also started having night terrors. I sat him down and spoke to him in a calm and loving way about why he was scared and what I could do to help him. I also read him a book called 'No Matter What' (which is still a big favourite) and just spent time each day making sure he felt secure. I would talk to your child health nurse as well, they are there to help with these things and probably have books or pamphlets that may help. Good luck sweety :)

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Rosette - posted on 10/31/2010

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secure her... tell her, for example the slow songs, try to play one but be beside her and comfort her. embrace her tightly and tell her theres nothing wrong with it. through that way maybe she'll overcome eventually...

Kris - posted on 10/31/2010

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Well, here we are a few months later, still battling the same things. We went on vacation and my now 5 yr old cried all the way down the hallway of the hotel until we got to our room. Then she wouldn't go in the room because it was scary. Last night, she had a meltdown at the school funfair because there were too many people and she got confused. I continue to be supportive, prepare her as often as possible, and travel with another adult, so when D needs to be removed, I can do so without taking the experience away from my 7 year old. Both still sleep with a night light, so we still have a ways to go. Hang in there everybody. Let your kids know they are loved and let yourself know it will end....eventually....LOL We are going to Disney in June. I have no idea how to prepare her for that! Hopefully, 6 months from now will be better.

Julie - posted on 10/31/2010

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Yeah..kids are weird. when mine was four she suddenly became afraid of black holes... she thought she wsa going to just get sucked off the earth by one... Music was a big one for her too slow songs would make her weep...

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probably just a phase, reinforce that nothing is wrong to the triggers and don't make a big deal about it

Beverly - posted on 10/31/2010

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My son is driving me crazy right now. I have always explained things well and just been matter of fact about anything that can actually hurt him, so that he wouldn't get scared. In the past year he has started having hysterical fits over things that scare him. This is not an exaggeration, he screams at the top of his lungs, crying and running away. It doesn't matter what I do, I can't get through to him when he's like this and I'm now to the point of just sending him to his room when this starts. It's everything from climbing up a ladder at the playground, seeing a bee, riding his bike down any sloping surface, he won't even jump out of the car from the floorboard. I am losing my mind and nothing seems to help him. I wanted him to be strong and not always afraid, and now he's the opposite. I wish I could help you, but I'm in need of assistance myself! I certainly hope it's a stage and he'll grow out of it.

Vikki - posted on 04/03/2010

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thanks to every one who has posted back...its helped eased my mind a little.. and i ve also been on some internet websites, where a lot of mothers have had their kids go through the same thing..and they say it is a phase...it is quite scary for me too!
iam doing evrything that everyone has suggested...and I am going to speak to my child health nurse....do the kids eventually get over this? is it something that will stay with her? i hope not... thanks again to everyone! xo

Tiffany - posted on 04/03/2010

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My son never went thru that. I made sure he didnt by not letting ppl tell him things that may make him scared of things. Most people I know tell their kids when they are outside at night, or when a light is off in a room and they dont want their kids to go in the room, "Dont go in there its dark, something might get u." or something in that matter. I never told my son thet. I always told him, along with all my brothers and sister (4 under the age of 9 now) There is nothing in the dark that isnt there in the light. Or when something is loud and i see he may be a lil concerned I say "Wow, thats loud. Isnt that cool. " I try and turn everything that may be scary into fun. Except for strangers. I tell him its ok to talk to people as long as mommy is around. The reason behind that is my parents always told me that people I dont know will get me. I was terrified of even family members that I didnt know. I was scared of everything as well. So now when someone out talks to him, b4 he says a word to them he says, mommy, and i say its ok, and he talks back to them. He always askes b4 he talks to someone. Try making the things he is scared of into fun or games. It helped with my son and now he is not scared of a single thing. But he is cautious about the things he needs to be about because i talked to him about the things.

Jessica - posted on 04/03/2010

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My son isn't that extreme but my son is scared of the boogie man/monsters and has to have closets closed when he goes to bed. He's scared of people he doesn't know also unless it's another child. Just make sure you make her feel secure and let her know she'll be ok.

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