My 4year old daughter does not listen at all, time outs dont help at all!! Any advice?

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Liz - posted on 02/28/2012

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How long do your time outs last and what procedure do you go through when you use them? Do you use warnings beforehand etc?



How long have you been trying time outs?



When you say that the time out doesn't help, what happens when you try to give your daughter a time out? Is there a designated area and does she keep trying to leave it? If so, how long have you persisted in taking her back to the area, e.g. half an hour, an hour, as long as it takes?



My daughter, who is two, often doesn't listen to me, so I try to work out why she's not listening. If she's watching the TV or playing with a toy and it seems like she is deliberately tuning me out, then I take away (or turn off) the thing which is preventing her from paying me attention. Then I get down to her level and tell her to look at me, because I'm talking and she needs to listen. I repeat until I have her attention, using as firm a tone as I need to. She is gradually learning that she needs to listen to me, because something will be taken away if she persists in ignoring me.



At four, your daughter should be able to understand that there will be consequences if she doesn't listen, whether you do something negative and remove a privilege or a toy or try positive encouragement by implementing a reward system. I.e. if you listen to mommy today, you'll get a star that we put on the refrigerator. When you get 5 stars, you can pick something fun for us to do.

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Kaitlin - posted on 02/28/2012

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Well said Elizabeth. Pick something and stick with it! You won't see results right away, it takes repeating over and over and over.

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