My 5 year old son always wants one more..

Kerry - posted on 03/02/2010

i used to get this with my little boy but it's easier for people to say things untill your doing it, it's hard and you give up to get some peace i got in to a set time where cartoons went off bed and started doing bed time stories to get used being in bed then i would change that to just one book then none depending if they have been good plus give him reward stickers if need be just keep trying and be strong you will do soon i promise even tho it feels like this is it forever hope ive been helpfull xx hope things work out!!!!

Lara - posted on 02/25/2010

Sherre~ My 6 yo drama queen will sometimes tell us that no one loves her... or that we're mean... or whatever she thinks will get a rise out of us at that particular moment in her tantrum. All I counter with is "Mommy and Papa always love you... even when you are mad at us or we do not like your actions. But we always love you."

My personal favorite was when she screamed at me that I wasn't her friend anymore. My retort? "You may not think I'm your friend, but I am ALWAYS your mommy and I love you." Kids truly will say the craziest things...

Kathy - posted on 02/24/2010

Don't let him start bossing you around at this young age or you'll never hear the end of it! You're the boss!

You've set the schedule, make sure he knows that schedule is a firm one. Make sure you spend some time with him before bed - read a story, talk about his day, what you've read etc. Lots of cuddles.Kiss him goodnight and leave the room. If he starts to scream and carry on, ignore it.

Sometimes it might be useful to make a big project of writing down his evening schedule - do a big poster and let him help!

There'll probably be lots of screaming for a while, but don't worry about the neighbours.

Suzanne - posted on 02/23/2010

what was I thinking? reading a book instead of TV is a great way to relax them....I still believe in the snuggling though...it's calming and it's ATTENTION.

Sherre - posted on 02/22/2010

Why is he even shouting he hates his life and no one loves him...I know 5 yr olds are a little crazay but at that age, he shouldn't say things like that. Obviously you love him and want what's best for him and when you start a bad routine, it is hard to change it. I don't know if you're religious but sometimes patience and persistence along with praying is always good. Just a thought. :)

Alison - posted on 02/22/2010

Any ideas? No more television after supper.



It is hard, but you should never make your parenting decisions based on what other people think. Think only about helping your child to grow into a responsible and respectful adult. Good luck!!!

Lauralee - posted on 02/22/2010

I give the option between a couple books or one last show and usually he say one last show. i allow the tv cause it usually calms him down when i say bedtime.. i got him in a bad habit... but no matter what the last thing he is allowed before bed he is still gonna throw a fit when the inevitable happens.... thank you all for you replys

Lea - posted on 02/22/2010

OMG I don't allow my son to watch ANY TV before bed. All it does it rile them up. Staring at a bright screen when they are supposed to be getting sleepy isn't helping anything. Why isn't your son reading a book??? TV should NOT be part of your evening routine. Sorry.

Suzanne - posted on 02/22/2010

I agree with many of the mommies here. Set the limits:
1) firm time for bed;
2) bedtime routine (brushing teeth etc);
3) one show (only one), give him the 5 min. warning before bedtime;
4) tuck him in, maybe snuggle him?;
5) kiss goodnight, and LEAVE ROOM;
6) if he screams, ignore him.

He is only pushing your buttons. If the neighbors complain, tell them what you are dealing with and that you are trying something new to help him go to bed. If they are parents, they will understand! You are in charge. Take charge. I know it's easier said than done, but the sooner he realizes he won't get his way, the sooner he will settle down. As a reward you could try the idea of pancakes for breakfast the morning after...or a new small toy AFTER he complies with no screaming or begging.

Lara - posted on 02/22/2010

Oh, and don't worry about what the neighbors think. Kids are kids. They love the attention screaming brings.



I also wouldn't suggest threatening to take something away "tomorrow"... kids often have no concept of time in that fashion (ie days/weeks/etc). Let him know if he continues screaming and caryying on, you will not be able to read him his bedtime story (or whatever "reward" part of your bedtime routine is).



Bottem line is any threat you make you have to be ready to follow thru on. Good luck.

Lara - posted on 02/22/2010

You are the parent. If it is bedtime, it's bedtime. It sounds like he's looking for some guidance on the house rules. Everyone goes thru a stage like this with their kids.



Start prepping your kid that bedtime is approaching, ie "after this show we are brushing our teeth, getitn gin our pj's and going to bed". At each commercial break, repeat the same. When the show ends, physically go and turn teh tv off and start shepherding them to the bathroom to brush and/or bedroom to get into pj's and bed. They can pitch a holy hissy fit, but be firm that it's bedtime.



I like Jo "Supernanny" rule about if they get out of bed, the first time you tell them it's bedtime, good night, I love you, and put them back to bed. Second time, you simply say good night, and third time (or more) you say nothing but continue to put them in bed. It may take a couple nights but they do understand and get it pretty quickly.



This also goes for other areas, like getting ready for school/outings. I tend to keep a running commentary in our house along the lines of "once we are done with (activity) it's time to get our shoes/coats on and go run errands." I'll even have my 6 yo repeat back to me the order of things so I know she is paying attention.



Keep your kid in the loop, keep them on the routine you say you are putting them on, and things will settle down. Good luck!

Stephanie - posted on 02/22/2010

At 5 years I would probably take the tv away for a couple days and explain to him that he can only watch it if he doesn't scream or cry when it's bedtime. Then when a couple days have passed let him watch it again. If he goes all crazy again take it away for longer. Maybe he'll figure out a pattern.

Kathleen - posted on 02/22/2010

You need to set a time when the TV will be turned off each night and then stick to this. Get him a clock so he can see the time as well. It may take a while but eventually he will understand that you are not going to cave on this point. I try very hard to choose my battles wisely. This is one worth the effort. Little ones need their sleep and the TV will not help them to sleep better. It needs to be off!

As to your neighbors, they probably cannot hear as much as you think (unless you are in an apartment). Whatever they can hear, you cannot let it dictate whether or not you enforce rules. Your son is old enough to know that you are concerned at what the neighbors might hear and WILL USE IT AGAINST YOU to get his way. You cannot spend your life worrying about what other people might think if what you are doing is simple discipline as opposed to abuse.

My 3 year old throwa tantrums in Wal-Mart on a regular basis. I simply ignore her and continue my shopping. Most people ignore it as well or try to help me calm her down. People are more understanding than you think.

Kerri - posted on 02/22/2010

He is just trying to manipulate you. Put him to bed, shut the door, and do not come back in or allow him to come back out until morning. Let him scream himself to sleep if need be. Eventually he will learn his temper tantrums are ineffective.

Lauralee - posted on 02/22/2010

sometimes i let him just cry in bed or if he starts screaming i take him to the corner or i tell him that i will take something away tomorrow. i am just afraid someone is going to think that something really bad is happening in my house.....

Jenn - posted on 02/22/2010

What do you do when he does this? You are the Mom and you make the rules. Be firm and stick to them.

Jenn - posted on 02/22/2010

What do you do when he does this? You are the Mom and you make the rules. Be firm and stick to them.