My 5 yr. old's "rebellion"

Nicole - posted on 10/23/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have three children, and it's only obvious that they all have different personalities. However, my 5 year old daughter has been testing my husband and me for quite some time now. She deliberately disobeys us (but not in a taunting way) at the most crutial points of the day like getting ready for school and getting ready for bed. For the first few months we have been patient and explained our reasons for the rules, and tasks. Now I'm bearly holding on by a thread. I truly don't think she does it to be bad, because she is so loving. I don't know how much more of this i can take. She also does things that she KNOWS are against the rules. Our other children know when to quit testing, but she doesn't seem to.

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Rhona - posted on 10/26/2009

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We do a sticker/reward chart. You can print the chart on the Internet for free! But one of his actions is to 'go to bed nicely' and so far he has been getting a sticker every morning. It also helps to have a routine such as read a book or say prayers. Hope this helps you and it has done wonders for us!

Athena - posted on 10/25/2009

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Choices and consequences. What is your daughter consequence when she does not obey. What is she having to give up, See our children only go as far as we let them. At first they will try us especially when they are used to having their way but if you stay consistant with her consequences and let her know every time she make a bad choice she will have a consequence eventually she will make betther choices. I know because I have six children 10 to 16 and raised 2 step children. I dont belive in a lot physical punishment, although it does'nt hurt somethimes as long as we remember they are humans beings. Take her toys, make her sit. If she begins to yell ignore her but make her have her consequences.

Nicole - posted on 10/23/2009

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I'm really glad to know about the hormones and such! Thanks for the information! I appreciate all the input. I am learning alot!

Romina - posted on 10/23/2009

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Hey there, I am in the same boat. I have a 5yr old boy and an 8 month old girl. Our little boy has always been very loving, sweet and extremely good, and mind you he continues to be so, however he, like your little one, can drive us crazy. He is distracted easily and if he is watching TV or something I have to repeat myself various times or at worst, turn the TV off before he will listen, which of course makes him mad and me madder. He acts silly and sometimes pushes our luck by disobeying or asking "why" every time we ask him to do/not to do something.



When I reprimand him or gently tell him what he did was wrong, he will either run to his room and burst into tears or get rebellious by either ignoring us or sitting down all angry. He gets so stubborn at times, I tell him to come here and sit on this chair and he will either come over and sit on ANOTHER chair or come over near the chair I pointed and purposely STAND next to it. Now THAT drives me nuts... he has to win in every argument and of course I won't stand for that.



I found that when the dust settles and we discuss this, he will get really sad and say "he wishes he could be good but he does not know how to". He looks genuinely sad and confused so I guess it is perhaps his hormones, sometimes when I have more patience available (easier day) I use positive methods such as "oh that's a bit of a mess, I bet you can do a really good job at cleaning that up" and whoosh in a second it is done.. the positive attitude sometimes does not work as he may particularly cranky and his constant actions reduce my patience and hence I get stricter.. What can I say, I hope it will pass... :)



Professionals say at 5 yrs of age boys hormones make them very cranky and rebellious, I find with my little girl every month passes a few rough days.. who is to say your little one isn't like that because her body, in an undeveloped way is going through what we go through each month? Ohh who knows...

Nicole - posted on 10/23/2009

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thank you for the information! We are going to look into that right away! I'm crossing my fingers that we get accurate results.

Rebecca - posted on 10/23/2009

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I have the same trouble with my twelve year old (this behavior has been present since he was a toddler). He is extremely helpful and considerate at school, church...etc but not with me. He has been diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. We have him in counseling and the only suggestion that they give us is to make sure that he has consistent consequences and not to let him get away with it. I would really encourage you to get some help now before your child gets older. It has now been reccomended to us that the next time my son throws one of his tantrums I am to call the police. Even though you are exhausted you and your husband should set down some strict consequenses and be firm in applying them. Good luck.

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