My 7 1/2 month old screams, when I put her to bed. Any suggestions? Is she trying to manipulate me?

Lori - posted on 09/27/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )

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She may even be falling asleep, before we put her in bed. As soon as you lay her down, she screams, bloody murder, I mean, tears, snot and all. She didn't used to do this, but she has started it in the last 3 weeks, or so. I feel terrible just letting her cry that desperately, but any efforts to comfort her, don't help, unless you just pick her up.

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Let a 7.5 month old cry hysterically?! Are y'all crazy? (sorry, I just can't imagine abandoning my baby at that age. When they get closer to toddler ages.. yeah ok... let them cry a little.

But under a year old the baby is needing something. Maybe the change in position is hurting her ears, increases drainage, maybe separation anxiety. Try oragel stuff if she's teething, freshen/loosen/tighten her diaper, try different PJs, ... just keep trying until you find what it is. Try nightlight, fan, no fan, white noise, lullaby CD, etc. Remember the womb was quite noisy. Is it noisy where she falls asleep?

Another thing - she may be over-tired. If a baby doesn't get enough napping hours and is too tired, they'll be harder to get down. My middle child is like that in spades!

Anyway... It may all come down to just holding her. Holding the baby may be all she needs. She'll go into a deeper sleep soon enough, and you should be able to lay her down at that point. I know its rough. Hang in there! It does get better. God bless.

(Please don't try to try everything in one night tho - you'll drive yourself and the baby crazy.)

Katie - posted on 09/27/2009

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let her cry! i kno it is heartbreakin sumtimes but the more u go in & pick her up she will just do it because she knows u will go and get her.with my son when he did that if he was still cryin after a half an hour {unless if he was chokin from cryin so much} then id go in pick him up see if he was hungry or needed a diaper change..then after whatever was needed to be done was done i wuld put him back to bed.if he cried i let him cry & do tha same thing over.it doesnt hurt the baby if u let her cry she will be fine & then after maybe a week she should be going to bed fine.its hard @first but letting them cry does NOT hurt them in any way! hope this helps

User - posted on 04/19/2012

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7 month olds are entering into the separation anxiety phase. Whatever you do, DO NOT let her cry it out. It will be detrimental to her emotional and brain development. Her cortisol levels will go through the roof and have long term negative effect on how she deals with stress throughout her whole life. Let her fall asleep in your arms or co-sleep for a while until she feels secure again. Contrary to the misinformation given out by well-meaning parents, she is NOT manipulating you and even if she sleeps with you occasionally it WILL NOT last past age 3 or so. Before you know it she will be a big kid sleeping on her own.

Do some research. There are a number of scientific studies on this topic. Follow your gut, mama. You don't feel right leaving her to cry, and your instincts are right on.

[deleted account]

Personally, I don't think 7 1/2 month olds can be manipulative. But I do know how frustrating this is. My son (he's almost 6 months) always screams before bedtime, and he can be totally asleep on my shoulder after burping from his last feed, but sometimes he'll wake up and fuss as soon as I start to lay him down. I just hold him until he quiets down and then lay him in his crib and rub his back and hum to him, and generally he goes right to sleep. Some nights are worse than others. But I figure there's plenty of time to say "no, go back to bed" once he has some reasoning skills and the vocabulary to tell me why he's fussing instead of sleeping.

Tricia - posted on 09/27/2009

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I let mine cry it out, the first day was 1 hour then every day after that is was less, in about 2 weeks it was all fine. Just had to do it again for naps but I waited til she was 21 months LOL but did the sleep training at 6 months and it's still working for bedtime, Good Luck.
I had to take the monitor in the garage and turn it down so I could just see it, I couldn't listen to it, it made me crazy.

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Clara - posted on 09/28/2009

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I agree, 7 months is still a baby, they cant manipulate you yet. My baba is 10 months old, we let her fall asleep when she`s ready and not when we want her to sleep. If you are calm and relaxed, baba will be calm and relaxed, sometimes al she needs is a little time....

Julie - posted on 09/27/2009

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I have the same problem with my daughter but we've come up with a good way of working thru it when she starts cry we ask if she wants to go into mummy's bed and when she says yes we say well if you sleep the WHOLE night in your bed then in the morning when you wake up you can come into mummies bed for a cuddle. She seems to like that idea and it normally works but sometime we do have to just let her cry. I hope this will help a little. Good luck

Elizabeth - posted on 09/27/2009

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Yes, she is because she knows you will come back. It is hard but you have to let her scream she will stop when she sees your not coming in. It will pay off later trust me I had to do it with my son. Finally he sleeps in his own bed all night with no problems.

Chloe - posted on 09/27/2009

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hey i just been away to Tresillian it for babys i had same thing my son 8 and half month cryed if i out him donw, Tresillian tell you to put them to bed say good night time to sleep then walk out wiat 5 min go back in say good night time to sleep then walk out, it hard to do but it dose help it take about 4 weeks for it to work good. it helps if your got someone to help you it better. the people that strat it at 5 weeks . good luck

Crystal - posted on 09/27/2009

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my little one sort of did this.. i propped her up a little with a pillow... even under the mattress if that feels safer. i was scared at first, she is now no longer using it! it didn't take very long but she learned that she was going to stay in bed, and didn't need the pillow anymore!

Christina - posted on 09/27/2009

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let her cry. my 7 month old started doing the same thing and it only took 2 days to break him of it. just be patient : )

Barbara - posted on 09/27/2009

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You should talk to your doctor in case there's something wrong. does she seem sensitive to light, certain clothes, certain foods? You may have a high touch child. If not, here's what I did. Put her in her bed, say goodnight, and leave the room for one minute. If she's still crying, go back in and say something short but comforting, like it''s time for bed now honey, I love you, and leave for a minute again. Keep it up and she'll eventually fall asleep. it might take quite a while the first night, but it will get better each night. Also, after the first night, start increasing the time each time, 1 min. 2 min etc. Many children go through this, some even need to cry a little to 'unwind' so don't worry about it. I also played the same 'bedtime' music every night for my kids, they learned that was the 'go to sleep signal' and fell right to sleep.

Misty - posted on 09/27/2009

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Oh my!! BOTH of my kids went through this AND STILL DO (my daughter was born 2/2007, son 12/2007) I try talking to them while sitting next to their bed but not picking them up... if it goes on for more than a few minutes i will hold them for a few minutes but not too long cuz i want them to learn to put themselves back to sleep. she may just not like having her own room (i assume she does) or maybe its too light or too dark in there... i have tried everything tho and the only thing that has worked (gotten them to scream for a less amount of time) was just sitting in there shhh-ing them.

Lindsay - posted on 09/27/2009

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You just need to let her cry it out. Go in after 3 mins. after putting her in there,don't pick her up, just lay her down, cover her up, say goodnight and then walk out. Then 5 mins. the next and so on. She will eventually realize that you are not going to pick her up and it's time for her to stay there, or she will cry herself to sleep. It will take a few days, but it works great!

Amanda - posted on 09/27/2009

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Yeah, u got it...she's figuring out how to pull u along, what she can do right now....This is what i did with my son took a little close to a month or over a month can't remember well it was 3 yrs ago....Alright First A Nightly/sleepy time routin is very important

I would tell my boy it's sleepy time and take him to bed doing our routine for sleepy time. once i laid him in bed i would walk out...let him cry for 10mins before i would go back in as i walked him i didn't smile or anything but say it's sleepy time and physically laid him back down and walk out again...I would repeat this process untill he fell asleep.... start off with 5 mins your first week for waiting time before u go in...week 2 move it up to 10 mins and each week add 5 mins on until she has the idea that when you put her in bed she is to go to sleep on her own and with no crying. (ps>>> it's okay as she gets older she might not sleep...just keep her in her bed for an hour or 2 THIS IS QUITE TIME FOR u and them...we all need a break) AS they get older and more verbal they start all over again when u put them in a toddler bed and start asking for water,to leave the light on, a hug etc... I hope this is a little more help and an idea for u...This worked for my son but my daughter never cried she loves her sleep (now that's she's 2 naps are 50/50 chances) LOL GOOD LUCK GRL

Dominique - posted on 09/27/2009

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Get some Jonhson & Johnson lavender baby bath. Draw her bath about 20 minutes before bed, put some lavender baby bath in her bath and let her play, after her bath she will be asleep in no time! I used that with my children and they where out like lights! I also read them a book after there baths, that really made them go to sleep!

Jasmine - posted on 09/27/2009

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I have watched nanny 911 on TLC before & she had to teach parents with the same situation. What i recall her saying is that eventhough it may "kill" you to watch your child cry that way, you're the parent and you have to have control . Don't sound frustrated or upset when trying to lay her down when she starts with the whole dramatic scene. Let her know you'll be in the other room & lay her down. A night light may also help. Or a stuffy animal! if she gets up and insists to not sleep in her room , just keep laying her down and walk out!!!! This may take awhile to accomplish, but be persistant and she will eventually realize that crying isn't going to work with you & that sleeping in her own room/ bed is okay!!



hope this works!

Cailie - posted on 09/27/2009

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try the pick up put down medthod. give her 10-15 minutes go in and pick her straigh up don't try to put her back to sleep just let her calm down and put her back down i did ths with my son it took about three days but he finally realized that i wasn't going to give in. hope this helps

Melissa - posted on 09/27/2009

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let her cry,when you give in she wins and will keep doing it until she gos off to collage!!!it will break your heart but trust me it will stop in a week or two

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