my 7 year old son will not sleep in his own bed

Kim - posted on 12/19/2008 ( 15 moms have responded )

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I guess i started my own problem, when my son was a new born, he would scream in the middle of the night so i would bring him inyo bed with me and my husband, and it turned into a every night thing. It now has been 7 years and he is still sleeping with me. PLEZ HELP

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Lisa - posted on 12/19/2008

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I feel you pain. My husband and I kind of did the same thing, Don't blame yourself, when u need sleep, u need sleep. We tried several things. Rewards in the morning if he stayed in his bed all night, this worked for a little while. Now he is 9 years and still comes in at 2am, you could set an alarm clock to him. We told him he had to start out in his room, then he could come in in the middle of the night with his blankets and pillow and sleep on the floor, as long as he did not interrupt any one sleeping, this has been going on for 2 years now, but he does not bother any one and everyone gets sleep and your not wrestling for a piece of bed or covers. Good Luck!

Elizabeth - posted on 12/19/2008

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My daughter is 4 and sleeps with me a lot of the time. Whenever my 2 year old wants to I let him. The way I look at it is that one day they won't want to! One day they will be gone; out of your house and you will long for the days and nights when they wanted to be close to you. So my philosophy is to just enjoy it for as long as your children want to be with you. They won't be grown and still sleeping with you. Cherish the moment!

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Buy a new light, like a lava lamp, new bedding, a cute poster or something, read your nightime book and just then "just say no". Just as another mom mentioned, you will have to get up numerous times throughout the night just keep taking him back. Give yourself a good 3-7 days to do this. He will learn. Don't be sad for him, eventually he will enjoy being by himself. ( I have a 6 yr old so I know) lol. Good luck.

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Eva - posted on 12/19/2008

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I have a 5 year old daughter and she comes to our bed in the middle of the night & we are working with her in staying all night. A little bit of back ground I on't bore with details. she loves shopping so what i came up with is a chart Mon - Sun She can earn $ .05 if she starts out in bed by herslef without anyone cuddling her for a few minutes and .20 if she slleps through the night so she can earn .25 a night or .05 and that would be 1.75 a week and she has a goal now of what she wants to buy with this money. We started 2 weeks ago and it seems to be working she has had only a few days when she came in bed with us. I hope that helps.

Jaimie - posted on 12/19/2008

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My son is 5 and he gets up alot in the middle of the night wanting to sleep with me, but I get up and put him back into his own bed, we sometimes are up for a couple of hours, but eventually he falls asleep. He also has his own TV and DVD player so sometimes I put a movie in and he will fall asleep with that.

Tina - posted on 12/19/2008

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I also wanted to say that there is a book called Is My Child Tired...it tells why a child needs to learn to go to sleep on his own...it really does more damage than good. I think its selfish of us not to let our children learn to sleep on there own.

User - posted on 12/19/2008

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Hi, my three year old son use to sleep with us, until we found a childrens sleep clinic through our health visitor. She suggested one of us sleep with him for a week in his room, then the next week to just sit on a chair next to him until he falls asleep, then the third week to move the chair each day just a little bit away from his bed until you eventually sitting by the door. When you get to this stage he would have got the idea that he does not need you to go to sleep in his own room. It take about a month, and there will be times that he will wake and try sleep with you but you have to take him back to his room, also you both need to do it because when my husband started taking him back a couple of nights and got firm with him it all stopped in the end and he now sleeps in his on bed.

I hope this helps, good luck.

Amber - posted on 12/19/2008

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Let him know that he is a big boy and he needs to sleep in his own bed. Share cookies and milk before bedtime or a snack whichever you prefer, share bedtime stories, songs, and stuff like that before bed. Keep the encouragement that he is a big boy and that he needs his own bed and room. Keep in mind, he has been in your room for 7 years, so yes, it does take practice and extreme patience! Things will get better in the end, and yes, it will be worth it!

Stephanie - posted on 12/19/2008

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I let me daughter sleep with me from about 18 mths until almsot 3. As soon as we bought a house she went right into her bed no problem. At the age of 7 he should understand he needs his own bed and so do you. I would do like others suggested and keep putting him back to sleep. When my daughter gets up I go to her and don't allow her to come to me so she stays in her bed.

Laura - posted on 12/19/2008

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I have the same problem with my step-son. We have been battling that for 2 years now. I found that if you sleep with them in their room to show them that there is nothing to be worried about then eventually they will relax and sleep in their own room on their own. Also, my sister-in-law had this trouble with her daughter and a doctor told her not to go get them when they cry to just let them cry themselves to sleep and that they will eventually know that they are supposed to stay there.

Tina - posted on 12/19/2008

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Hello Kim

I suggest that you start a little bed time ritual with your son...read a book sing, say prayers or whatever..tell him he is to stay in his bed untill morning . Everytime he gets out you must put him right back in and tell him he has to learn to fall asleep on his own.It may take 3 days or a week but if your persistant he will catch on..dont give in and dont give up...after awhile he will catch on and you both will be better off..good luck and let me know how it goes..If hes afraid of the dark get him a night light or simply leave his light on untill he falls asleep.(but be sure to turn it out when he falls asleep as it will affect his eye sight later on in life)..he will come up with a thousand excuses for getting out of bed...accept none...do all that has to be done before he goes into the room If he does well you could reward him with a small treat or special something..but dont make a habit of that.

Elizabeth - posted on 12/19/2008

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Hi Kim,

My daughter had this problem when she was that age as well. She is now 13. I don't know if this will work for you and I will tell you it takes a lot of determination, prayer and patience but what I did was every time that my daughter got up I would take her back to her bed. The first time I would pray over her, tuck her in and go back to bed. This continued every time she got out of bed. Sometimes I made 7 trips in one night until finally she would fall asleep. It was tiring to me and sometimes frustrating but it worked. Funny thing of it is now you see Supernanny on TV doing the same thing.

Hope you can find the one thing that works for you.

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