Kim - posted on 04/12/2011 ( 17 moms have responded )
She has a chore chart, and I remind her to look at it, or remind her of a chore and she is lazy and doesn't want to put her clothes in the hamper, for example and just piles them on top. I tell her I am taking her clothes away-she is always getting clothes at her dad's house whenever she wants, so she doesn't care. I have told her if I have to remind her of her chores or remind her to look at her chart for chores that she missed that cannot be missed-like giving the dog water, for example, there will be a consequence...it's happened, she doesn't care. I take away tv, and she cares for a minute, then it doesn't matter. I took away her favorite 2 dolls because she threw them when I asked her to make her bed, so she screamed and then 10 minutes later said, ok, can we give them to the kids at the shelter who don't have any dolls then? Nothing seems to bother her, and she keeps being disrespectful and defiant. To top it off, my partner is ALWAYS making excuses for her behavior and arguing with me about giving consequences. She has a consequence of giving a 1$ every time she leaves a light on in the house...like leaves her room light on and comes to eat dinner-she's not going back to her room for a while, so the light should be off. She is now up to $30, and she got 30$ from her grandpa the other day, just because-no reason. I said, you can pay your light bill now, and my partner says, we are not taking all of the $...I said, she knows that is the rule, but it's not happening. Yesterday, I went over her homework with her, and then she brought it to me 4 times with the same wrong answers, and wants me to tell her the right answers. I am not going to tell her the answers, because she will not learn that way. I am am in constant communication with the teacher, who tells me they go over the homework instructions in school as well, as it's practice for what they learned in school. She crumpled up her homework, screamed and cried and stomped out of the room, so she had to go to her room for 8 minutes. There is nothing that seems to bother her, as far as consequences go-it bothers her for about a minute, and then she doesn't care. At school, she has trouble following directions with assignments, and will get VERY easily distracted by others or things. Sometimes she will ask me what the consequence will be if she doesn't listen...just to see if she cares about it or not! I ALWAYS follow through with my consequences, but my partner does not-she does not want to give her consequences because then she thinks she being a bad mom...I try to explain to her that NOT giving consequences is actually worse, but she feels bad, so she babies her quite a bit, and WE end up arguing! I'm so frustrated with my disrespectful and defiant 8 year old-Help-what do I do!?